Wedding Blog

Hellooo (shy wave)! I’m Mrs. Hot Cocoa, and I used to blog here. Sorry I disapparated into the void (a.k.a. the new house we just bought and moved into). After a month of constructing IKEA furniture with unpronounceable names and learning to do homeownerish things like mow the lawn and fix the boiler, I’m back to pick up where we left off: bride and groom portraits.

I know, I know. NOT exciting. But I thought I’d let you in on the secret of what actually was happening while we were shooting our seemingly oh-so-romantic portraits.

Here’s a typical bride and groom photo: I’m looking dreamily into the distance, while Mr. HC seems to be adoringly nuzzling his beautiful bride.

Right.

Here’s what’s actually happening during this shot: We plop down on a couch on the hotel patio, behind two (very nice and accommodating) strangers who are enjoying a mid-day snack of overpriced s’mores. Our photographers interrupt the romantic tete-a-tete these people are sharing and ask them to duck to get out of the shot, which they do without (audible) complaint. Meanwhile, embers from our fire pit are flying into my veil, and I’m beginning to feel a bit like a s’more myself. That faraway look in my eyes? That’s me imagining the headline on the LA Times the next day: “Hotel Destroyed After Bride Combusts.”

Here’s another bride and groom portrait: I’m still looking dreamily into the distance and affecting an air of hauteness. Mr. HC is just supposed to look cool.

Of course, what is actually happening is this: Our wonderful photographers, in an effort to stage a romantic shot, say to Mr. HC, “Get closer to her. Smell her cheek.”

“Smell her cheek?” That’s one step removed from “pull my finger”.

Since we both have the sense of humor of a sixth-grade boy, Mr. HC and I find it hilarious. I am sure I whisper, “that’s what she said” under my breath, Mr. HC licks my cheek instead of smelling it, and we burst into ugly-face laughter.

Our poor photographers. They say (with either hopefulness or desperation), “How about we try something else?” I jump on the top of the banquette, and they snap away before we do something silly to ruin the shot.

Here’s one last example. They say to me, “Walk slowly so that we can capture the movement of your gown.”

Of course, instead of just walking like the runway diva I’m supposed to be, I giddily twirl like Julie Andrews on a diet of Pop Rocks and soda pop.

That’s not to say that when called upon, I wasn’t sometimes able to work it, ANTM style:

I’m totally smiling with my eyes, Tyra!

What are you and your spouse or fiance like in front of the camera? Awesome and fierce? Or dorky and awkward like us?

Kisses (and sympathies for having to deal with us) to Leigh Miller Photography, Luna Photography, and Della Chen Photography.

In previous episodes of the Hot Cocoa Chewish Wedding Recap Extravaganza:

- We had a welcome dinner.
- Hilarity ensued.
- I got prettified.
- We played games.
- Mr. HC got accessorized.
- We had a tea party… I mean, ceremony.
- I got haute
- I giggled and Mr. HC looked.