Weddingbee Blog

The months seem to be flying by since our wedding. I’m constantly amazed (and annoyed) by how fast the days pass! People used to ask me, “What’s changed since you got married?” and I’d readily admit that nothing was really different before and after our wedding. We still lived in the same place, still saw all the same people, still did all the same things. Now that we’ve been married for a year and a few months, people have stopped asking me that question, but funny enough, things HAVE changed since they’ve stopped asking.

It was a gradual thing, but the huge sense of contentment I currently feel is something that I hadn’t felt in a long time, even right after the wedding. I’ve lived my whole life wanting something, searching for the next big thing or the next big step in life. Where to go to college, when will I meet the man of my dreams, when will we buy a house, when will we get engaged, when will we get married… it’s been a series of “what’s nexts” for me. Over the past year, I’ve come to realize that my “what’s next” list has dwindled to nothing. And it’s a wonderful feeling. Your whole life you’re told to always have goals, to always be looking forward to the next step, in all aspects of your life. Make a 5 year plan. Think of what you want and figure out the steps you need to take to achieve them. Well, at least in my life, the beauty of being married for 1 year is the beauty of having fulfilled the to do list, and living almost frozen in time, content with whatever is happening in my life now. This is the only time in my recent memory that I can remember where my to do list is empty. I’m married to a super duper guy, we live in a space and in a city that is perfect for us, we both have jobs we enjoy, and we live a comfortable existence. This is the first time in my life that if you asked me what I wanted, I’d really have to rack my brain to find an answer. And the answer would be something superficial. Like, I want a new car. Or an HD Tivo. Or a pony. I don’t want anything that is realllly important. And that’s a beautiful feeling.

As I quickly approach my 30s and feel my ovaries rot, I know at some point we’ll have to make the ultimate decision whether or not we will have children. I’m blessed to be on the same page as Mr. Peng on this front, because I know if I wanted children right this second, he would not. I’d be right back there with my life list, with that nagging “to do” that has left to be checked off. But for right this second, I’m happy, he’s happy. The list is empty, and we’re just enjoying our lives together.

So at one year out, I can’t say that nothing has changed when it comes to being married. Being frozen in time for a brief moment in my life where I don’t feel the burning desire for the next big thing is an incredible feeling.

What about you? After your wedding, will you look forward to a short moment in time where everything is exactly as you want it to be, or will you be ready to move on to the next big thing, whether it be children, homeownership, a big career move, or something else?