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Mrs. Meatball, Hollywood Age and Occupation: 30, Actor/Writer/Office Maven Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Actor/Writer Engagement Date: October 7, 2007 Wedding Date: May, 2009 Blogging Since: September 16, 2008 Venue: Private Garden/The Bungalow Club About Me: I love melty cheese and diet coke almost as much as I love my man. I'm from Chicago, he's from NYC, and we both miss public transit and great pizza. We have an adorable muppet dog called Paco. I'm part hippie with a healthy dash of hip hop superstar, have excessive empathy for animals, and have not one, but two bionic eyes (long story). We're broke and it ain't no joke. It can't stop us from planning the bold and whimsical wedding of our dreams, but we've had to get pretty creative to make it work, yo!
About Mrs. Meatball

(Psst - if you’re new here, read part 1 and part 2 of the surname saga and then come on back for the conclusion!)

Thank you all so much for your support and amazing feedback about this situation. I’ve loved hearing your thoughts and speculations about our decision, and you’ve been wearing your patient pants, so now it’s time for the big reveal!

In the end, we decided compromise was the best solution. Mr. M still felt it was crucial to honor my name, despite us also honoring his parents’ wishes. He wanted to make a grand gesture to both show me that he was becoming as much a part of my family as I am of his, and to make better the disappointment we had been through before. I am so proud of him for standing up for what he believes in, as well as for doing right by his family (even if I still disagree with their opinion). He wins my heart over and over every day we’re together, delighting me with his thoughtful, loving nature and generous spirit.

So, today I write to you as:

Dana Susan LaRue Stiebel, wife of Hunter Hans LaRue Stiebel.
(I ain’t gonna lie - those are pretty rad looking names, no? Fortherecord: that’s Steeeeeble, not Sty-ble.)

I am “hyphenating” last names (but I prefer the way it looks without a hyphen), and he is adding my maiden name as a 2nd middle name. It was the best we could do, without alienating anyone in the family. I’m pretty pleased with it. And there’s a twist…

While I’m still let down that our child(ren) won’t share my last name as I’ve known it, we are leaving the door open to naming a child after my maiden name, just as Mr. M was named for his mother’s maiden name. It’s certainly a fun idea to entertain, and when we’re ready for kids, we’ll definitely revisit the idea. A little girl named LaRue Stiebel could be pretty dang fierce, methinks!

The best part? After months of waiting for the right moment to break the news to his parents, Mr. M told them about our compromise and the response couldn’t have been better. Totally positive, on board, and supportive - exactly totally ultimately perfect. I’m so relieved to know that it’s over, and everyone seems to be at peace with the end result. Because at the end of the day, having a happy family is key, yaknow?

What do you think? Did we make the right choice?

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39 Responses to “The Last Name Game, Part 3 (The Conclusion!)”

1 2 

1.
kjpugs
Member
kjpugs (message)  1,751 posts, Buzzing bee

LOVE LaRue as a girl’s name. My last name is a boy’s name so we’ll probably name a son that.

 
2.
Member Icon
Member
Laylabelle (message)  3,378 posts, Sugar bee

Love it! Now I need to talk the mister into it!

 
3.
Miss Jellyfish
Bee
Miss Jellyfish (message)  1,453 posts, Bumble bee

Love it! After I read your original post I talked to FI about taking my last name too…and though he didn’t want to add my last name to his last name (too long) he said he’d be willing to add it as a second middle name, too. So we might do that, not sure. I will be putting my last as my middle, because I don’t have a middle name, and taking his last name.

 
4.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Spaniel (message)  6,809 posts, Busy Beekeeper

Fair enough! I think it’s a good compromise.

 
5.
minneapolitan
Member
minneapolitan (message)  740 posts, Busy bee

This is EXACTLY what we’re doing! So obviously I’m biased, adn think it’s the best compromise ever :)

 
6.
pvaulter718
Member
pvaulter718 (message)  2,116 posts, Buzzing bee

That seems like a great compromise to me. And you’re right, having a happy family is key - kind of like “happy wife, happy life”. I’m glad you came to a conculsion that makes everyone involved feel respected and pleased with the decision!

 
7.
Miss Giraffe
Bee
Miss Giraffe (message)  4,187 posts, Honey bee

Definitely fierce.
Good for you Meatball.

 
8.
Miss Elephant
Bee
Miss Elephant (message)  6,209 posts, Bee Keeper

I’m glad that the compromise worked out and that his parents were supportive!

 
9.
abrideagain
Member
abrideagain (message)  532 posts, Busy bee

That was the perfect choice for you! And I’m so glad that the family approved too…

 
10.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Bruschetta (message)  5,565 posts, Bee Keeper

I think you both made a great choice! The bonus is that everyone seems to be happy (but it’s most important that you and Mr. Meatball are!).

 
11.
Guest Icon
Guest
jara

i love it. my fiance and i are hyphenating our last names, too. so happy that it reflects you all well!

 
12.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Moonbeam (message)  1,732 posts, Bumble bee

Oh, the name game. I’m just keeping my name and luckily his parents didn’t get upset when they learned that. Glad you came to a solution. And I agree that LaRue Stiebel would be an awesome name and probably someone you wouldn’t want to cross. A little bit ’southern belle’ and a little bit ‘I can handle my own.’

 
13.
Guest Icon
Guest
BAP

Sounds great! When you have kids, another option would be to give the kids your maiden name as their middle names. That’s my mom did with all her kids and what I plan to do with all mine :)

 
14.
alvina
Member
alvina (message)  807 posts, Busy bee

Aww yay! They both sound really cool! :)

 
15.
mowi322
Member
mowi322 (message)  241 posts, Helper bee

My good friend (who happened to keep her maiden name) gave both her sons her maiden name, while their official last name is her husband’s. (I think that makes sense). Anyway, I think that’s a great compromise & it’s lovely that your hubby is so supportive of you!

 
16.
BeachyBride2010
Member
BeachyBride2010 (message)  350 posts, Helper bee

Ohh la la… I LOVE LaRue as a girls name… way to compromise meatball!
For my first wedding, I changed my name happily, now that I’m a widow, engaged to be re-married we’ve decided I’ll keep my name for the sake of my son…perhaps when he’s out of school, I’ll change it… TBD

 
17.
Charm bracelet
Member
Charm bracelet (message)  1,935 posts, Buzzing bee

Great story. I had been waiting to find out for so long. Your last name IS beautiful. Glad you kept it.

 
18.
Member Icon
Member
HL (message)  282 posts, Helper bee

Good compromise. We may do something similar!

 
19.
SweetLemon
Member
SweetLemon (message)  64 posts, Worker bee

I think it’s the right choice if you’re both happy! Good work! And it’s even better that everyone else is on board. :-)

 
20.
miss longhorn
Member
miss longhorn (message)  236 posts, Helper bee

Great compromise! LaRue Stiebel would be an awesome girl’s name! I’m so glad that his parents are supportive of the decision.

 
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Mrs. Meatball
Mrs. Meatball

Mrs. Meatball, Hollywood Age and Occupation: 30, Actor/Writer/Office Maven Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Actor/Writer Engagement Date: October 7, 2007 Wedding Date: May, 2009 Blogging Since: September 16, 2008 Venue: Private Garden/The Bungalow Club About Me: I love melty cheese and diet coke almost as much as I love my man. I'm from Chicago, he's from NYC, and we both miss public transit and great pizza. We have an adorable muppet dog called Paco. I'm part hippie with a healthy dash of hip hop superstar, have excessive empathy for animals, and have not one, but two bionic eyes (long story). We're broke and it ain't no joke. It can't stop us from planning the bold and whimsical wedding of our dreams, but we've had to get pretty creative to make it work, yo!

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