The Last Name Game, Part 3 (The Conclusion!)

The Last Name Game, Part 3 (The Conclusion!)

September 16th, 2009 @ 6:24 pm by Mrs. Meatball

(Psst - if you’re new here, read part 1 and part 2 of the surname saga and then come on back for the conclusion!)

Thank you all so much for your support and amazing feedback about this situation. I’ve loved hearing your thoughts and speculations about our decision, and you’ve been wearing your patient pants, so now it’s time for the big reveal!

In the end, we decided compromise was the best solution. Mr. M still felt it was crucial to honor my name, despite us also honoring his parents’ wishes. He wanted to make a grand gesture to both show me that he was becoming as much a part of my family as I am of his, and to make better the disappointment we had been through before. I am so proud of him for standing up for what he believes in, as well as for doing right by his family (even if I still disagree with their opinion). He wins my heart over and over every day we’re together, delighting me with his thoughtful, loving nature and generous spirit.

So, today I write to you as:

Dana Susan LaRue Stiebel, wife of Hunter Hans LaRue Stiebel.
(I ain’t gonna lie - those are pretty rad looking names, no? Fortherecord: that’s Steeeeeble, not Sty-ble.)

I am “hyphenating” last names (but I prefer the way it looks without a hyphen), and he is adding my maiden name as a 2nd middle name. It was the best we could do, without alienating anyone in the family. I’m pretty pleased with it. And there’s a twist…

While I’m still let down that our child(ren) won’t share my last name as I’ve known it, we are leaving the door open to naming a child after my maiden name, just as Mr. M was named for his mother’s maiden name. It’s certainly a fun idea to entertain, and when we’re ready for kids, we’ll definitely revisit the idea. A little girl named LaRue Stiebel could be pretty dang fierce, methinks!

The best part? After months of waiting for the right moment to break the news to his parents, Mr. M told them about our compromise and the response couldn’t have been better. Totally positive, on board, and supportive - exactly totally ultimately perfect. I’m so relieved to know that it’s over, and everyone seems to be at peace with the end result. Because at the end of the day, having a happy family is key, yaknow?

What do you think? Did we make the right choice?

Tags: legal |

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39 Responses to “The Last Name Game, Part 3 (The Conclusion!)”

Member

kjpugs (message) 856 posts, Busy bee

LOVE LaRue as a girl’s name. My last name is a boy’s name so we’ll probably name a son that.

9/16/09 @ 6:29 pm (reply)

Member

Laylabelle (message) 1,869 posts, Buzzing bee

Love it! Now I need to talk the mister into it!

9/16/09 @ 6:33 pm (reply)

Member

Bean (message) 235 posts, Helper bee

Love it! After I read your original post I talked to FI about taking my last name too…and though he didn’t want to add my last name to his last name (too long) he said he’d be willing to add it as a second middle name, too. So we might do that, not sure. I will be putting my last as my middle, because I don’t have a middle name, and taking his last name.

9/16/09 @ 6:40 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Spaniel (message) 2,597 posts, Sugar bee

Fair enough! I think it’s a good compromise.

9/16/09 @ 6:41 pm (reply)

Member

minneapolitan (message) 733 posts, Busy bee

This is EXACTLY what we’re doing! So obviously I’m biased, adn think it’s the best compromise ever

9/16/09 @ 6:45 pm (reply)

Member

pvaulter718 (message) 1,593 posts, Bumble bee

That seems like a great compromise to me. And you’re right, having a happy family is key - kind of like “happy wife, happy life”. I’m glad you came to a conculsion that makes everyone involved feel respected and pleased with the decision!

9/16/09 @ 6:56 pm (reply)

Member

ColorCoated (message) 951 posts, Busy bee

Definitely fierce.
Good for you Meatball.

9/16/09 @ 6:57 pm (reply)

Member

llc2011 (message) 458 posts, Helper bee

I’m glad that the compromise worked out and that his parents were supportive!

9/16/09 @ 7:13 pm (reply)

Member

abrideagain (message) 531 posts, Busy bee

That was the perfect choice for you! And I’m so glad that the family approved too…

9/16/09 @ 7:23 pm (reply)

10.

Bee

Mrs. Bruschetta (message) 5,553 posts, Bee Keeper

I think you both made a great choice! The bonus is that everyone seems to be happy (but it’s most important that you and Mr. Meatball are!).

9/16/09 @ 7:32 pm (reply)

11.

Guest

jara

i love it. my fiance and i are hyphenating our last names, too. so happy that it reflects you all well!

9/16/09 @ 7:44 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss Moonbeam (message) 1,328 posts, Bumble bee

Oh, the name game. I’m just keeping my name and luckily his parents didn’t get upset when they learned that. Glad you came to a solution. And I agree that LaRue Stiebel would be an awesome name and probably someone you wouldn’t want to cross. A little bit ’southern belle’ and a little bit ‘I can handle my own.’

9/16/09 @ 7:47 pm (reply)

13.

Guest

BAP

Sounds great! When you have kids, another option would be to give the kids your maiden name as their middle names. That’s my mom did with all her kids and what I plan to do with all mine

9/16/09 @ 8:17 pm (reply)

14.

Member

alvina (message) 298 posts, Helper bee

Aww yay! They both sound really cool!

9/16/09 @ 8:19 pm (reply)

15.

Member

mowi322 (message) 128 posts, Blushing bee

My good friend (who happened to keep her maiden name) gave both her sons her maiden name, while their official last name is her husband’s. (I think that makes sense). Anyway, I think that’s a great compromise & it’s lovely that your hubby is so supportive of you!

9/16/09 @ 8:33 pm (reply)

16.

Member

BeachyBride2010 (message) 314 posts, Helper bee

Ohh la la… I LOVE LaRue as a girls name… way to compromise meatball!
For my first wedding, I changed my name happily, now that I’m a widow, engaged to be re-married we’ve decided I’ll keep my name for the sake of my son…perhaps when he’s out of school, I’ll change it… TBD

9/16/09 @ 8:42 pm (reply)

17.

Member

Charm bracelet (message) 808 posts, Busy bee

Great story. I had been waiting to find out for so long. Your last name IS beautiful. Glad you kept it.

9/16/09 @ 8:43 pm (reply)

18.

Member

HL (message) 263 posts, Helper bee

Good compromise. We may do something similar!

9/16/09 @ 9:01 pm (reply)

19.

Member

SweetLemon (message) 54 posts, Worker bee

I think it’s the right choice if you’re both happy! Good work! And it’s even better that everyone else is on board.

9/16/09 @ 9:51 pm (reply)

20.

Member

miss longhorn (message) 238 posts, Helper bee

Great compromise! LaRue Stiebel would be an awesome girl’s name! I’m so glad that his parents are supportive of the decision.

9/16/09 @ 10:08 pm (reply)

21.

Member

His Barista (message) 1,824 posts, Buzzing bee

As long as you both are happy, then of course it’s the right choice!!!

9/16/09 @ 10:10 pm (reply)

22.

Member

fiftyfootbride (message) 3,683 posts, Sugar bee

You both have some great new names there. I’m glad you got it all settled.

9/16/09 @ 11:23 pm (reply)

23.

Member

jhguba (message) 239 posts, Helper bee

With all parties happy, especially you and FH, I would say it’s obviously the perfect solution!

9/16/09 @ 11:48 pm (reply)

24.

Bee

Miss Poodle (message) 3,020 posts, Sugar bee

That is so sweet and the best part is that both of you are happy with the choice

9/17/09 @ 12:34 am (reply)

25.

Member

2dBride (message) 440 posts, Helper bee

Is there some reason that a child of yours could not have your whole last name (LaRue Stiebel)? The fact that he has not chosen to hyphenate does not settle the issue for your children.

9/17/09 @ 2:32 am (reply)

26.

Guest

Marco

Mrs. Meatball,

Love what you both you and Mr. M are doing and want to show our support by offering you a free Gold name change service at Name Change Express at NameChangeExpress.com

Drop me a line for your coupon!

Big congrats!

9/17/09 @ 5:02 am (reply)

27.

Member

Querida (message) 1,074 posts, Bumble bee

I love the names!
What a wonderful compromise and a legacy you’ll have for future mini meatballs!

9/17/09 @ 7:41 am (reply)

28.

Member

Gator (message) 487 posts, Helper bee

I love it! My last name, Morris, can easily be a little boy’s first name so the Mr. is using it as bargaining power in the name game. Love LaRue… she’d be so cool!

9/17/09 @ 7:51 am (reply)

29.

Member

dec09bride (message) 117 posts, Blushing bee

I love this! I wish I could talk the FI into doing something like this. Awesome!

9/17/09 @ 8:34 am (reply)

30.

Hostess

Jessie516 (message) 4,008 posts, Honey bee

I think this is awesome! I’m so glad that you found an option that worked for you both!

9/17/09 @ 8:41 am (reply)

31.

Member

bruyere (message) 47 posts, Newbee

Haha, omg, my best friend’s husband’s name is Hunter LaRue! Weird!

9/17/09 @ 8:49 am (reply)

32.

Member

thefuturemrsjewell (message) 1,531 posts, Bumble bee

i love the names! Congrats on finding a way to make everyone happy! I love the name LaRue for a little girl!

9/17/09 @ 9:49 am (reply)

33.

Member

alishaneva (message) 1,524 posts, Bumble bee

Those names look and sound amazing! LaRue would be such a fun name for a little girl!

9/17/09 @ 9:53 am (reply)

34.

Member

alohababy28 (message) 192 posts, Blushing bee

GREAT choice- the names are beautiful, and LaRue Stiebel is a GORGEOUS name for a girl! Congrats!

9/17/09 @ 9:54 am (reply)

35.

Hostess

LatteLove (message) 4,094 posts, Honey bee

I think you guys found a great compromise. kudos. I love the name LaRue for a girl too. great thinking!

9/17/09 @ 11:41 am (reply)

36.

Bee

Mrs. French Bulldog (message) 6,063 posts, Bee Keeper

I’m so glad you guys found a compromise you are happy with and so is Mr Meatballs family

9/17/09 @ 12:09 pm (reply)

37.

Member

pmerr (message) 1,184 posts, Bumble bee

Yay! That’s such a great compromise! LaRue is quite a cute name for a girl!

9/17/09 @ 12:16 pm (reply)

38.

Bee

Miss Ramen (message) 256 posts, Helper bee

glad this all worked out for you guys! and your names are super unique!

9/17/09 @ 7:48 pm (reply)

39.

Member

mander411 (message) 79 posts, Worker bee

that is great news!! I am so happy for you. I don’t think I will be so lucky, but even if I add his name on, I won’t lose mine. Although it sounds awesome hisnamemyname all one word!! He doesn’t agree as it isn’t tradition - bahhh to tradition, he isn’t marrying a housewife either!

9/18/09 @ 7:11 am (reply)