Weddingbee Blog

I read a lot of wedding planning blogs. No surprise, right? Wedding blogs are different from many other kinds of blogs because usually they have a climax: the wedding. When you start reading the planning posts of a bride (or groom), you generally expect to see the result of all that planning come to fruition within a period of months. As you read, the blogger is progressing toward a definite goal, a goal that you feel like you’re a part of because she chose to share it with you on the Internet. And then afterward, once the happy couple’s had a break from all that is wedding-related, you’ll probably find a post that says something like this:

“Being married is amazing!”

“I can’t believe we’re actually married!”

“Married life is spectacular: better than imagined!”

I’m about to say something that a lot of people don’t say. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to ruin it for the unmarrieds, or maybe it’s because I’m kind of weird and most people don’t feel this way. But…

I really don’t feel any different.

I can believe that we’re married. It’s not better than imagined, and it’s not necessarily amazing. Generally I categorize amazing things as stuff that is out-of-this-world or unexpected. I expected to marry Mr. MJ (that’s what all this planning has been about, am I right?!), and I did. So I guess I don’t see the amazement. Kind of like graduating high school. So many people came up to me and said “Wow, can you believe we graduated?!” Well yes, I could. Because I had just finished 12th grade with a passing GPA, and that’s what happens. Heh.

It is wonderful to be married; don’t get me wrong. But it’s wonderful because I’m with him. Just like it was wonderful to be with him when we were not married. We still treat each other the same way, we still have the same routines, and we still have the same issues. Our mannerisms, moods, hobbies, senses of humor, movie tastes and food preferences haven’t changed. I’m of the mind that this is the best possible thing, though. The man that I wanted to marry, I’m now married to, and he has not changed. People who expect marriage alone to bring on big changes are probably in for some hardship.

But because I’ve been led to believe that marriage makes people feel different, act different, and be different, I kind of feel like a fraud. I feel like I woke up one morning, put on a second ring, and started calling credit card companies to tell them that my name had changed. I don’t feel different. I’m still me, he’s still him, and we’re still in love. We don’t have thousands in wedding debt to repay. We didn’t honeymoon. We’re back at work and back in class. (Hell, he was in class the day of, and day after the wedding.)

We didn’t have time for a honeymoon, we really didn’t, or we would have taken it. That’d probably have helped me “feel married”. We also didn’t have a big wedding. It took me about 2 hours to ready myself, we drove down to the courthouse with a friend, in our own car, and the ceremony took about 5 minutes, if that. Maybe a bigger wedding would have helped us “feel married”, but even if it would have, it wasn’t worth it to us. Crowds and formalities make us both a little sick.

So, “how’s married life?”

It’s great. Just like it was before. Busy, stressful, uncertain at times, but also good. I’m glad the wedding is over; it’s one less thing hanging over my head. And I have a husband to show for it. My favorite thing about being married? Catching him admiring his ring. It looks so good on him, and he loves wearing it.

If you’re already married, “how’s married life” for you? If you’re not, how are you expecting to feel once the big day has passed?