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I obviously can’t speak for couples worldwide, only the couples I know. But I’ve noticed this peculiar difference between men’s and women’s bachelorette parties and I’m wondering if you all have noticed the same.
Mr. Penguin and I had similar, yet very different bachelor/bachelorette parties. While we went on two different weekends, we both went to Las Vegas. Vegas is a natural choice for Californians; transportation from the airport is easy (and if you use the shuttles, very cheap), people from LA can drive, and flights from Nor Cal are pretty reasonable. This is exactly why I personally chose Vegas. For Mr. Peng, and his many friends that hold their bachelor parties in Vegas, this is not the case. They choose Vegas because it is an adult male playground, with anything they’d want at their fingertips… luxurious suites, great steak houses, and strip clubs.
I was talking to Mr. Peng last night about how peculiar it is that there is this huge disparity in the attitudes of brides in our social circle about their bachelorette parties vs. the attitudes of the men and their parties.
For the men in our circle, bachelor parties are no-expense-spared affairs. The most recent bachelor party of my close friend involved a limo for the men rented for the 3 day affair, which first traveled from Los Angeles to Las Vegas (WOW!) and then was at their beck and call for the remainder of the weekend, a couple huge suites at the Palms, lavish meals, bottle service at the clubs, and a few trips to the strip clubs. On the other hand, the bachelorette party for his future wife included a trip to Oxnard (because it was cheaper than Santa Barbara), a trip to the local spa (where most girls opted to only get one small service, or no services), one nice Italian meal out (while the rest of our meals included the free continental breakfast at our hotel, or trips to the supermarket for wine and cheese), and a trip to the local Karaoke lounge where we were entertained for free by the locals.
It seems that the big difference between the parties was the attitude about money. Men in our circle tend to look at their bachelor parties as no-expense-spared affairs. 5 star meals, 5 star accommodations, 5 star entertainment. The women in my circle look for the best deals, affordable meals, cheap thrills. To be honest, I find the bachelorette parties I attend super fun, so there’s no real complaint here. But why is it that while we women are making trips to Subway for lunch to split $5 footlongs (ooohhh, adding chips and a drink? Do I dare?), the men, that very same weekend, are dining at an $80-for-just-the-cut-of-meat-only steak houses? This seems to be the absolute norm in my circle. While Mr. Peng was cracking crab claws at Joe’s, and warning the waitress that, “if she ever sees his drink getting low, to just go ahead and bring him another,” I was eating a bean burrito and sending back our pitchers of Sangria at the crappiest Mexican restaurant on the Vegas strip, refusing to pay for the swill that they had sent to our table disguised as “drinks”.
Mr. Peng argues that if you’re going to spend $40 at a shitty restaurant, why not just spend $80 at a really delicious restaurant? I think it’s a great argument. However, it’s one that is hard to convince a group of ladies. For some reason, it’s the MOH’s charge to find the bachelorette attendees the best bang for our buck; the more we can get for less, the more successful the trip. For the men it seems, if they aren’t making it rain, it’s not a real bachelor party.
If I had to guess, it’s that the bachelorette party is kind of a forced event. We all love a girls’ night out, but it’s not natural for the girls I know to want to all get together, get majorly drunk, and go buck wild, especially with a group of girls that we may not necessarily really know (a group comprised of the bride’s college friends, high school friends, and sisters is the typical group we hang with at bachelorettes). We’ve force them upon ourselves because we know that our men are doing the same… only they seem to treat their bachelor parties as more of a rite of passage, a no-expense-spared necessity.
I know I’m making generalizations, and I only speak from my own experience. But I’m wondering if this is something you all notice too? It doesn’t make a lot of sense—all of my bride friends are marrying the same grooms that go on these lavish bachelor parties, so it’s not as if there is really a huge income disparity among the girls and guys in my social circle. So why the spending/attitude disparity when it comes to the bachelor/bachelorette parties?
Is the situation similar in your social circle to? Why do you think it is that men are willing to go all out for their bachelorette parties, while their fiancees are looking for more of a “bang for your buck” experience?
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I wonder if the difference in party spending is partly because of all the other wedding-related expenses for women.
Women also generally attend wedding showers where the guys don’t; and often these showers, bachelorette parties, weddings themselves need some new clothing purchases. Guys only have the one event to spend money at - and they usually just have to throw on the suit in the closet for weddings.
Mr. Bruschetta and I both had pretty budget-friendly parties — we hopped into Philly via public transport, and either came home (him) or slept over someone’s place (me).
I do agree, though, that for me at least, the bachelorette party (while really fun — recap coming soon, I promise!) was somewhat forced fun. I’ve just never gone out, had that much to drink and had all my girls around me celebrating…well…ME.
Reading your post, Pengy, makes me curious about the “history” of b-parties. Because, I mean, isn’t the bachelor party much “older” than the bachelorette? Maybe that’s helping to drive expectations and attitudes?
Thank you for this post! I totally agree and have had the same conversation. My FI LOVES Vegas and wants to go, while I figured us ladies would have a relaxing weekend on the beach borrowing my father’s boat and making our own dinners. I see this as a chance to sneak off with the girls for a few days - while my FI sees it as his last chance party.
The Hangover didn’t give me any positive feelings towards this, but as long as he comes home with all his teeth I’ll be happy 
I have totally seen this too! It’s so weird. Even guys who can’t really afford it go to these lavish parties and weekends away. I really would never spend to travel for a bachelorette party. it seems crazy!
I feel the same way. I didn’t really want a bachelorette party but it seem like tradition. I agree with Jennifer, I think since women have more events, they tend to spend less on the bachelorette party.
Thanks for including the link to Urban Dictionary. “Making it rain” was a new one for me. Ha!
My lingerie shower is replacing a bachelorette party for me, and I think my fiance and his friends are just going to get together and go out to eat and maybe shoot some hoops after that. And for our circle of friends, that’s pretty standard. It’s interesting to see how much social norms vary from circle to circle.
Yessss!!! I just posted in the boards about this a couple days ago. My bachelorette party is this Saturday and all week long I’ve been brought down about it because my family and friends have been emailing ME to complain about the cost. That’s right, they haven’t emailed my MOH (who was supposed to plan it but barely did), instead they’ve been telling me that the costs are crazy and that they are dropping out of coming (The costs are $20 for food, $8 cover at the bar, and $40 for hotel if they opted to stay, not excessive in my mind for downtown Minneapolis).
I’m not even looking forward to it anymore. After all the nasty emails they’ve sent this week I don’t even want to see half of them or party with them in 2 days. I wish I had just had a party with a few friends instead of all these complainers!
I think the bachelor party is seen as a man’s “excuse” to go all-out with his friends - in my opinion it comes from an attitude that only bachelors and single men can have fun, and women keep their boyfriends and husbands from what they really want to do. I know Mr. P&T’s bachelor party will include a lot of really good food and drinks, and probably some cigars, but I doubt he’ll go the strip club or “manly man” entertainment route.
I agree, for sure. Though it’s not the norm in our circles to go as all-out as Mr. Penguin did, it’s my experience that the guys spend way more money on bachelor parties than girls spend on bachelorettes.
Mr. Bunny typically spends at least $100 in drinks alone either for the bachelor being honored or for the group.
I’ve only been to a couple bachelorettes, and none of them cost me more than $40 for food and drinks. I’ll write about my own bachelorette soon, but it was really low key. I think each attendee spent no more than $20.
I agree! It’s the exact same here in Boston. My husband goes to Las Vegas for all the bachelor parties. I think he spent around $1300 for the last one. I’m going to the bachelorette parties and we’re staying at friends houses, and even then some of the girls won’t commit to paying for the flight. When my sister gets married I am putting down huge buck for her
My fiance and his group of guy friends did the Vegas thing for his bachelor party. They went during the first round of March Madness and whether or not they hit up the adult entertainment doesn’t really matter to me. I know that it was an expensive trip for the guys.
When it came time to plan my bachelorette, I wanted low key and inexpensive. Just as you mention above. We are going to Five Guys Burgers and Fries for dinner, bowling and then out for some beer. Nothing crazy and probably an under $50 evening out per person.
It would never even crossed my mind to ask my female friends and future sister in law to spring for a trip to Vegas but for the guys, it wasn’t a big deal.
What an interesting contrast.
I just mentioned this post to my fiance to get his opinion. He just got back from a lavish bachelor’s party in Vegas. I’ll be having my bachelorette party in a few weeks, but locally. He suggested that for guys, it has to do with it being their last hurrah before getting married. But for women, it’s just a continuation of the types of things we might do in everyday life. That makes sense to me. I’m not a huge party girl so I dont want a strip club or anything like that! Plus I agree with the poster above who said that it’s more of a budget issue. I’d love a lavish trip but that’s not in the cards with the other upcoming expenses. And we have more than just one pre-wedding event, where that’s the big one for the guys! Unique, interesting post. Thanks!
Great post Pengy! Both Mr Frenchie and I tried to have nice weekends w/o breaking the bank… my bachelorette party started out as a girls spency weekend and turned into a cheap weekend, but we still did a LOT of fun stuff I’m glad we saved the money we did and we still had a REALLY great time! But I’ve had friends and the Mr has gone to Bachelor parties were not expense has been spared.
I do think it depends on how much money you’ve spent on other things, ie throwing showers, buying shower presents, dresses, shoes etc.
It makes perfect sense to me - it’s a matter of typical male/female fantasies. (I’m generlizing, but bear with me.)
The woman’s fantasy is the wedding - it’s her one day to be a princess in a gorgeous ball gown, have her picture taken like a model, and have the whole room oohing and awwing at her perfect dreamy romance.
The man’s fantasy is to be the bachelor party - being the top stud leading his pack of friends, being the big man in the VIP section, lavish accommodations and transportation, naked chicks, all that. In both cases it’s kind of the person’s one day to fulfill their fantasy about what the perfect life would be like.
Generalization of course, but I think that’s the underlying psychology and why it generally makes sense to me.
This is soo true! Mr. Swan has been to bachelor parties in Miami, Lake Tahoe for almost a week, etc. My bachelorette was in one day, and I tried to make sure that it was as low-key and inexpensive as possible.
I think the bachelor party spending has a lot to do with it being a rite of passage for men many of whom see it as this last ditch effort to be wild and crazy before they settle down. I guess the thinking is that if it’s your last hurrah, you might as well make it good. I think women tend not to have that attitude towards their bachelorette parties. Just my 2 cents
I guess I’m lucky in that Mr. CB just wants to go camping for his bachelor party. Ha. That said, we had a funny discussion about strippers last night (I trust him so if his guys want a stripper, fine!). But, my brother (one of his groomsmen) put his foot down and said no strippers. Don’t know why. But, hey, I’ll take it. Thanks, bro!
You are absolutely right. The first thing my future Mr’s friends said when we announced our engagement was, “Dude. Vegas.” They’re doing a three day weekend with a suite and the works. The bridesmaids, however, are “springing” for a slumber party at my place. While I’d never want to force my friends to spend a ton of money on me, it is an interesting disparity. I agree with Mrs. FB though, it probably has a lot to do with the fact that the women have to pay for a lot more than the guys.
My guess on the disparity? A lot of times, all men have to do for weddings is put on a suit and show up. Women? Every bachelorette party I’ve attended was at the tail end of a long list of expenses I (willingly) had related to that wedding. From bridesmaid dresses/shoes/hair/accessories multiple shower gifts, sharing the cost of showers, etc… by the time the bachelorette party comes around i am inwardly hoping they choose something affordable. And I don’t go all out when I have fun with my friends anyways… it comes down to the money thing.
OMG…you are so right! My girls and I are going to have a low key bachelorette party in NYC. Go to a comedy club, nice dinner, then head back to a friend’s place to hang out and drink. My fiance and his guys are going to the home opener of the NY Rangers game, hit a bunch of bars, and staying overnight in a NYC hotel. This is so interesting!
It definitely isn’t like that in the seriously evangelical Christian circles I’m part of. The guys go to a restaurant or sports bar and have a beer or two and hang out. Perhaps, if it’s crazy, they go fishing or play paintball. There’s no “no expenses spared” attitude. The women do similar things - out to dinner and drinks or even a sleepover. It might be because for both the stereotypical bachelor and bachelorette party doesn’t fit into the kind of lifestyle we all usually live.
This is so true! Thank you for this post. My fiance and I are currently trying to figure out what we’re going to do for our B-parties. Since we share so many friends, we were thinking of going somewhere and doing Friday night separate and Saturday night together. All his friends are gung-ho for Vegas, but I feel really guilty asking my girls to spend that much money on a celebration for me. In addition to what Jennifer (first commenter) pointed out about girls spending more on showers, BM dresses, etc., I think girls also tend to treat themselves more anyway. It’s not out of the ordinary for me to buy something nice for myself or get myself a pedicure. But my fiance doesn’t really do little things for himself like that, so maybe he and his guy friends have no hang-ups about really spending some money to treat themselves for a bachelor party?
For our wedding, we were pretty even - but the boys rented a party van with a driver, while one of my girls volunteered to be DD. But with my brothers wedding, the girls went bar hopping at the beach, while the guys drove to New Orleans for a 2 day party excursion with a great hotel to crash in an a limo to take them around.
Omigosh, I have to totally disagree, Peng!!! In the social circles I know, the guys bach parties are very tame, a golf weekend with a nice dinner and maybe a poker game or two with drinks and cigars. Most guys I know are sooo worried about pissing off their fiance or getting in trouble by going to a strip club or partying with girls’ at bars. The girl’s bach parties however, seem to be no-holds barred craziness with multiple strip clubs, major drinking at the bars, naughty games, dancing with strange men, because I think the ladies think their men are doing the same thing and want to keep up.
As some of the other ladies have mentioned, I think this definitely has to do with the disparity of other expenses men and women have for the wedding. bridesmaids spend a small fortune on wedding related activities and attire while groomsmen usually pay for a tux rental and just show up.
For my circle of friends there is an added element. We love to go to Vegas and the last few bachelor and bachelorette parties FI and I have attended have been in vegas. I always end up spending less because us girls have a way of getting things for free or at least better deals. Why have a limo for rented for 3 days when there are limos at every hotel that cost as much as a taxi per person? Why pay a ridiculous amount for bottle service when we’re just going to get walked right into a club becuase we’re a large group of girls and we’ll end up getting free drinks all night because we’ll probably end up partying with a bachelore party at the club? (FI always says that he and his guys are those suckers paying for our drinks). I think it just comes down to girls are smarter when it comes to bargains. Also, I don’t mind sharing a bed with a friend so we can have more girls in a luxury sweet and pay less. But there is no way those guys are cuddling up with each other. We do normally have one really nice meal but I find that most of my girls never really care about food as much as the guys. Of course I’m only talking about my circle here.
Oh I forgot to add, lucky for me FI is not into clubs and strippers so for his bach party they are going backpacking or camping and other nature stuff. My girls and I on the other hand, are going to Vegas for a crazy party weekend.
too true! But Re: Mrs. Caramel’s recent post–I think women also try to make bachelorette’s the most personal and unique, suited for the bride. Typically bachelor parties tend to be more of the same–not as thoughtful or easy on the wallet!
I kind of wish my girls felt more like makin’ it rain, to be honest. My MOH is planning and keeping me totally out of the loop, which is fine by me considering I ALREADY know people are complaining. I have no idea what she proposed to them but I have heard that there is some backlash, though thankfully no one is talking to me about it. My problem is that my girls are for the most part all over the place, so travel will be a necessity for some whatever we do. It kind of makes me sad to think that they might not be willing to spend the money on the trip (whatever it is) considering most won’t be able to come to the shower anyway. Is it so wrong to want to have everyone come to my bachelorette party? I’ve done the same, and will do the same, for them.
I never really gave it a lot of thought until reading your post - but you are totally right! I actually kind of dislike going to bachelorette parties, even for sisters and best friends. I know it sounds awful! The reason is because I’m forced to spend not only a lot of time (b/c it’s not just meeting them out somewhere, there is travel involved and usually more than one night), but a TON of money on dinners that I have to share with other people I hardly know and we’re all paying for the bride so factor in cabs, drinks, decor/props and it’s like at least a $300 weekend. And it’s exhausting!
On the flipside our Bachelors are all doing destination parties with at least 20 guys in tow doing the drinking all day/golfing/stripclub thing which you know has to be WAYY more expensive than ours. They love it - it’s like guys have a separate savings account labeled: Bachelor Party Funds
And I’ve actually turned down Bachelorette parties plenty of times because I wasn’t in the Bridal party. Is that bad??
OMG when i found out my guy had his party all set im like WTF i gota plan minee nowww!!!! lmao!!!
I agree with Lindsay! I think bachelor parties have changed a lot… I’ve never been to one of those crazy bachelor parties. But I’ve heard about a lot of crazy bachelorettes!
My friends tend to have a golf outing or something chill… I ordered in some Italian food at a friend’s place for my bachelor party.
I think it may have something to do with men’s attitudes towards spending when they are around other men. I think they feel more pressure to spend generously and not look cheap, which is why, when you go to a bar, guys will take turns buying everyone a round. I’m sure that a lot of them are not happy about the expense.
@rzblna: great point… I do think there is the issue of macho-ness involved!
I think the guys in my circle tend be less close to their guy friends than the girls are with their girl friends. They don’t feel the need to have “one last night out with the guys”.
I think my groom is just going to have a low-key dinner with his groomsmen a few days before the wedding; whereas I’m gathering all my bridesmaids from both coasts for a Las Vegas weekend MONTHS before the wedding.
I think male bachelor parties are more of an excuse for guys to get together and fraternize whether it is a golf outing, baseball game, Vegas, etc… Generally speaking, guys do like to hang out among themselves as much as they can while the girls want to spend more time with their significant other.
I totally agree with this! I just had my Bachelorette Weekend. It was $60 for 3 nights in a condo on the beach, a free limo, free personalized t-shirts, free gift bags, free games, $30 for a nice dinner, and whatever it costs for you to drink while out. We went out on the town in the limo, we hung out on the beach, we dressed up and went out to a club with no cover charge, we went out on a boat, and my future MIL stocked the house with food. It was seriously the cheapest weekend for the most fun! And we had so many comments/complaints about the cost. Don’t get me wrong… everyone had a blast! But… people were constantly counting the pennies.
On the other hand… the guys are only having a 2 day weekend and the Best Man has told them to expect to spend between $300 and $350 per person. No one has complained! Some of the guys only have part time jobs, some have kids, and they all have bills.
While I agree that ladies have SOOO many more expenses when it comes to wedding related stuff… I think this is more than a Bachelor Party vs Bachelorette Party thing.. I think it’s a Man vs Woman thing. When men go out to dinner, one of them usually tosses his card on the table and picks up the tab. Everyone says “I’ll get it next time”.. and they do. No one thinks anything of it. Women on the other hand…. tend to get out the calculators. “Um, I didn’t have 3 Martini’s.. one of these must belong to you”… “My bill was only $15, so my sales tax and tip would total….” …. “I got lunch last time, it’s your turn”.
I know this doesn’t apply to all men or all women… but it happens a lot. It’s unfortunate.. but we’re just wired differently, men and women.
I think it makes perfect sense
women are spending all the money for the wedding on things guys don’t care about like flowers, dresses, shoes, veils, custom cakes
the bachelorette party is the only place a guy can say “it’s for my wedding, so let’s splurge” on stuff he cares about like steak and suites.
I agree with all of the above posters, about women spending more on wedding expenses in general, and men having the macho ideas about spending money when in groups.
I’ve also noticed that as I’ve gotten older, my girlfriends have definitely moved more towards going to bed early, drinking/going out less, than their husbands have. This is even without having kids. My FI and I talked about this recently too. He had a joint bach party with 2 other groomsmen who are also getting married this year, and he didn’t spend a cent although they drank a lot and stayed in hotel rooms. Not as extravagant as many but a big night nonetheless. With my girlfriends, we went to a karaoke booth (at my request) which was awesome, everyone had a blast there. But many girls had only one drink or none at all, they were definitely all wanting to step up and buy me a drink, but by 11pm or midnight most of their eyes were heavy and it definitely felt like forced fun. I was actually really bummed and was telling the FI - he said his friends will throw me a bachelorette party.
Really enjoying reading the different opinions on this. Great post, pengy.
Just had this convo with my FI yesterday because I’m the MOH for my friend and I’m planning the bach party. I asked for $120/person which covered the room, spa treatment for the bride and 25% off for the girls, a pool-side cabana, champange and fruit by the pool and free app at dinner.
The girls told me that was cool but then one called the bride to complain about the cost. Then I was told it was too tacky to email people to ask them for their money upfront so I could pay for this whole thing.
I also agree with other pps that I think we get stuck with paying for a bridal shower, dress, shoes, wedding gifts, lingerie gifts that when we finally get to the bach party we are all tapped out.
My FI has always done it up in Vegas for the bach parties he attends. Same with my brother and his friends. Two totally different circles of people and such.
I have to say that in our social circle it’s the opposite. We women tend to go WAY more our for the bachelorette parties and the men drive up to Tahoe, rent a house and then go to the casinos for the bachelor parties. It’s the women in our group who arrange for limos and think about going to a fun destination, in turn we always end up spending a lot more on a single weekend then the guys do.
i have to say- i kind a disagree with most here. not disagree exactly- but i read this and thought- “so why shouldn’t the girls go all out? we did!”….celebrate the amazing single life till the end.
and that is exactly what we did for my best friend’s bachelorette party…. I mean ALL out. Granted things just worked in our favour that way. We were a small group (5 girls- who all knew each other very well). We took off Friday morning and partied in South Beach (we’re from Toronto, ON) till Sunday morning (I don’t think our livers would have lasted much longer- though none of us were ‘The Hangover’- level drunk). It was as much about bonding as it was partying- and we had a great time doing both. We splurged for great meals, shopping, etc etc. Overall- the weekend *was* expensive (I’m guessing the whole thing set us back ~$1000- due in large part to the plane ticket over the may long weekend)……but to this day we still talk about the epic’ness of that bachelorette party (priceless).
the only problem is how we are supposed to top it for the next round?!
i couldn’t have said it better myself! dh would always be flying somewhere to someone’s bachelor party… cabo… denver, etc. i felt like when it was time to have my bachelorette party i too wanted to fly to “be even” with dh’s bachelor party. i mean, why do guys get to have these lavish trips while most of the girls i know hold it in they city or surronding cities from where they live? i agree that it felt very “forced”. i really would have been just as happy having a night out and then coming home to sleep. but i felt i needed to party just as hard as my man.
I think it’s because men are more easy spenders and generous than women in general. I’ve found this to be common in my social circle and environment. I spend as much as my FI and am as generous because I never want to be labeled as a cheapskate. Also because it feels good when I treat my friends to a lunch or give them a really nice gift. I don’t expect anything in return.
But I’ve noticed that most women aren’t as generous. And I’m not saying that women are stingy, I think most women have been conditioned to the “find the better deal” attitude, because women are “better” shoppers. Don’t most women think that men suck at shopping? They buy the most expensive item without looking at the more budget-friendly option, right?
Women are also hesitant in take care of the other’s check. I don’t know why that is, but around my friends, I’ve noticed it’s always a “you take care of your bill and I take care of mine mentality.” Maybe it’s a “then I’m gonna owe you money and if I don’t pay you back somehow, you’re going to think I’m a horrible person and we’ll stop being friends” fear?
I don’t know if that makes sense, but it’s my opinion.
@Ana: I totally agree… it’s macho to spend money, to ruffle your feathers and show that you are well off for yourself. In female circles I run in, we pride ourselves when we find the greatest shoes “on sale” or find ways to “live big on less”. That probably translates to the bachelor/bachelorette party!
It just boils down to men not wanting to take the time to do the research on cheaper alternatives (plus the macho “I’ll make it rain” attitude). We’re planning a trip to Vegas soon and all the guys want cheap stuff, but NONE of them are willing to put in the legwork to find the deals. They just expect me to do all the homework and then pass on the info. It’s quite annoying.
@Miss Labrador: HAHHA - boys are TOTALLY like that - if they want something, they’ll get it and are too freakin’ lazy to look into it! vs girls who will look everything up online, use as many coupons and codes to get the best deal.
but yeah…. i think that sometimes it depends on the bride (if she’s DEMANDING certain things from her bridal party and friends, and them resenting being forced into spending copious amounts of money) AND/OR could even boil down to friends being selfish/jealous and not caring for what the bride would like (I’m speaking from experience being a part of weddings like that)
so interesting!
I think the men are a little more ok with spending money versus the women–we also buy bachelorette GIFTS and throw SHOWERS with MORE GIFTS! So their justification in a bigger/better/more expensive bachelor party makes sense =]. I think there is a definite trend towards the Low Key B-party nowadays. I didn’t have one, but I was 23 so I was still all about going out and being ridic =]
i agree with jennifer too. for women, especially those in the bridal party, there’s the expense of the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, gifts and then the dress/shoes/accessories for the wedding day. by then having an no expense party is absolutely murder on the wallet. boys? a tux rental that’s what? $100 tops most cases? and no other expenses? they have more cash to burn.
The Mr. is pretty low-key, so no crazy party for him and I know my party will probably involve finishing up the wedding decorations, just with booze and snacks.
Wow, I never really thought much about the disparity, but it is pretty much the same in my circle as well! As for me and Mr. E… his guys took him for a 3 day all-expense-paid trip to Toronto which while certainly not extravagant by any means, included clubbing, a strip club and all-you-can-eat sushi. Whereas I was a bit bummed out about how low-key my shower/bachelorette party were. Not to sound ungrateful (yea, I know I do), but I heard afterwards that my maids spent about $70 each on BOTH my shower and bach party. In terms of other wedding-related expenses that they had to pay, about $160 for shoes and dress, and that’s all. Ah well… what’s done is done.
When I was a bridesmaid we established a pretty tight budget since most of the bridesmaids were in grad school and were on fixed incomes. However, thankfully the bride wanted a relaxing weekend at the beach and we were able to do a lot even on a small budget.
The groom also went to the beach for his Bachelor party but ended up having a horrible time. He endured some pretty horrific hazing and couldn’t wait to get home. So, I think that guys definitely have the macho thing going on whereas girls might be more interested in relaxation.
[...] The Bachelor/Bachelorette Party Disparity by Mrs. Penguin [...]
Interesting! And yes, I see the difference, and see how that can be the case, but I don’t necessarily agree. My FI had two bach. parties, one night in Atlantic City (we live in Philly) for the people who couldn’t make it to Vegas and he is currently in Vegas now. I am sure there is stripping and other activities and that is fine.
I wanted to have my own in New Orleans, but the majority of my girlfriends could not come for the weekend in NO, so we ended up renting a house at the NJ shore. We ended up going out to what we hoped would be a nice meal (no expense worries, but ended up disappointed, but that is what we get when we’re all from cities with great restaurants to a podunk town.) The weekend itself though? was great. We napped on the beach, drank ourselves silly and I ended up getting a lap dance from a very inebriated police officer from another town (clothed, of course, in a random bar).
For my sister’s bachelorette party last year we went to Atlantic City for the night, hired a private stripper for our room after dinner (expensive, wonderful) and then went to a club where we drank the night away. I don’t know that her husband even had a bachelor party.
I think it all depends on the couple and what their group of friends is like. I had no interest in going to another city to go to the spa when I have perfectly acceptable spa services here.
I think at the end of the day what I wanted from my bachelorette party was to have a great time with my girlfriends, many of whom I don’t get to see nearly enough. With the exception of my FI’s friends’ girlfriend and wife who didn’t talk to any one and invited themselves (seriously) to the weekend away, I think everyone had a great time and got along well. In fact I know at least one of my high school friends is now my cousin’s friend on facebook.
Interesting observations. I think for me and the Dude, it was almost exactly the opposite, as far as spending $$ goes. I think there is definitely some truth to what you’re saying, though.
So true. Mine just had a three day three/night party with a rented condo, all you can eat steakhouse visit, a charter fishing boat, paintballing, and of course, a strip club. Mine might be one night in Orlando where we will go dancing.
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Mrs. Penguin, Northern California
Age and Occupation: 27, Weddingbee Editor in Chief
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Doctor of Physical Therapy
Engagement Date: January 29, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 14, 2007
Venue: Winery in the Gold Country
About Me: I love the Spice Girls, dogs with underbites, bean burritos, making messes, high fives, avoiding showers, crossword puzzles, blogs, weddings, and blogs about weddings!
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