Oh Yeah, This is Why I’m Marrying Him

Oh Yeah, This is Why I’m Marrying Him

September 21st, 2009 @ 9:29 am by Mrs. Star

Is it weird to feel more secure in your relationship during the tough times?

If so, then I’m definitely weird. No, wait. I’m definitely weird, either way. But that’s a different post for a different day.

As it always does, life has been busy handing us a heaping helping of GOOD and BAD. Only lately it seems like the GOOD and BAD have been thrown at us in rapid-fire succession and my head is spinning so fast that I can’t keep up with my own emotions.

We are officially 20 days away from being married (eek!), but my focus has been all over the place trying to keep up with the GOOD and the BAD in our lives lately.

One of the GOOD things is captured right there in that gorgeous picture. Yes, that was actually the incredible sunset view from our balcony the other night. Most nights, we can see the sky turn that fabulous pinky-purple right from our couch and it is breathtaking. Mr. Star and I can hardly believe that we live here and are afraid some morning we’ll wake up and it will all have been a dream.

Moving, though? That was BAD news right there. We hired four moving companies before one actually showed up to help us move. Yeah, you heard me right. And the move itself took fourteen very long hours. We were cranky and wiped, to say the least. And we’ve been trying to unpack like crazy people to get ready for the wedding. Mr. Star has been a prince, never complaining and always volunteering to do the dirty work, like sanding down furniture to be re-painted (I hate sanding!).

Take a look at that charming piece of GOODness right there! Yeah, we just got a puppy as a gift from Momma Star. I’ve been wanting a Yorkie to call my own for some time and now I have a little 10-week-old 1.6 pound bundle of love named Stella. She is fabulous and adorable and we all love her (Duncan, included).

Mr. Star often sneaks around and cleans up her BAD potty training accidents before I have the chance to find them myself. What a sweet guy, right?

Reuben and I danced together as we all picked Reception music together

We’ve been so lucky lately with so many amazing GOOD things in our life, that my worst piece of BAD news has been all the more sad. This past week, I had to make the very difficult decision to put my 20-year-old family cat, Reuben, to sleep. It was BAD, my friends. Very bad. I held him in my arms and said all the nice kitty things I could think of in his last few moments. The only GOOD part about it was that I was able to be there comforting him and that he left this world the way every person and animal should: being held and surrounded by those you love.

Mr. Star was right there with me through it all, holding me as I said goodbye to Reuben and talking to me all night as I sobbed in bed, and suddenly all the wedding jitters and marriage anxiety that has been creeping in on me lately just faded away as I thought: Oh god, this is why I love him. This is why we’re getting married.

I know that we’ll always be there for each other, holding hands and looking outward towards the world together, and while all the GOOD in our lives has been really uplifting, it’s definitely the BAD times that make me know we’ll be okay. Twisted as it may sound, that’s how it is.

So I guess my Reuben’s last gift to me was the GOOD of reminding me that I am definitely making the right choice and doing the right thing in marrying Mr. Star, who celebrates the GOOD times with me and holds me close through the BAD.

What reminds you of why you’re marrying your sweetie?

Tags: pets, relationships |

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39 Responses to “Oh Yeah, This is Why I’m Marrying Him”

Bee

Mrs. Bruschetta (message) 5,553 posts, Bee Keeper

So sorry to hear about Reuben! But I love that you have that great shot of the two of you — probably just one of many! — along with happy memories of literally a lifetime together! Wow, 20 years?!

9/21/09 @ 9:39 am (reply)

Member

Laylabelle (message) 1,868 posts, Buzzing bee

I’m so sorry about Reuben. I’m glad you had 20 great years together.

9/21/09 @ 9:54 am (reply)

Member

Adriana26 (message) 143 posts, Blushing bee

Awww Im sorry to hear about your cat. Losing a pet is always a painful thing. But I know what you mean about the bad times and good times. I have an amazing husband that has been there for me through thick and thin, and I know will continue to do so for many years to come - we are both very lucky ladies

PS Stella is way too cute. I’ve also always wanted a Yorkie!!

9/21/09 @ 9:57 am (reply)

Member

kayakgirl73 (message) 356 posts, Helper bee

I’m very sorry for the loss of your pet. I know how hard it is to lose a pet. I lost a family cat that we had had for 19 years at CHristmas 2007.

9/21/09 @ 10:02 am (reply)

Guest

Stephaine

Sorry to hear about Reuben…it’s never easy to lose a pet. xoxo

9/21/09 @ 10:28 am (reply)

Member

LaurenEB (message) 110 posts, Blushing bee

I read your post and it gave me chills, because something similar happened to me. Before the wedding I was just struggling with everything and the Mr. was there and I knew that he was the one for me and I couldn’t ask for anything more.

I’m sorry about Rueben, and hopefully Stella (what a cutie!) will provide you with many more years of animal companionship!

9/21/09 @ 10:29 am (reply)

Member

melodyjune (message) 239 posts, Helper bee

What a sweet post. I can’t believe that’s the view from your balcony!

9/21/09 @ 10:33 am (reply)

Member

thefuturemrsjewell (message) 1,529 posts, Bumble bee

awww, so sorry about Reuben Star!!!

Stella is so adorable though! Looks like she’ll be a very good thing to help cheer you up! That and Mr. Star!

9/21/09 @ 10:39 am (reply)

Member

fromcharleston (message) 87 posts, Worker bee

that was such a great post. i am so sorry about kitty star, but he’ll be looking down from among the stars on your wedding day.

ps-the picture of ya’ll dancing cracked me up! now my roommates think i’m weird. oops.

9/21/09 @ 10:42 am (reply)

10.

Member

bunnylovesbear (message) 386 posts, Helper bee

I’m so sorry to hear about Reuben. My family had to make that same difficult decision last November. My cat was nearly 23 years old, and we decided it was time to put her down. My amazingly great vet made a home visit, which was very nice. My thoughts are with you.

And congrats on the new pup. SO CUTE!

Oh, and even more congrats on hitting your 20 day mark! You’ll be down to single digits in no time!!

9/21/09 @ 10:49 am (reply)

11.

Member

Annui (message) 314 posts, Helper bee

I’m so sorry about your kitty. 20 years is a good, long life, so as I’m sure you know he must have been quite happy!

9/21/09 @ 11:05 am (reply)

12.

Member

Bellini (message) 552 posts, Busy bee

so sorry to hear about rueben.
stella is a cutie, good luck with potty training!

9/21/09 @ 11:55 am (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Moonbeam (message) 1,328 posts, Bumble bee

Aww, both of our childhood kitties have had to be put to sleep in the past couple of months. I certainly know what you mean about the good and the bad (not just the kitties), and it is great to have someone to hold you when you need it. At least there is always some good.

9/21/09 @ 11:57 am (reply)

14.

Member

FlipFlopBride (message) 1,305 posts, Bumble bee

Sorry about Rueben. Losing a beloved pet is always hard.

Stella is adorable, and I’m glad that the bad times have brought the good out in you and Mr. Star!

9/21/09 @ 12:25 pm (reply)

15.

Member

lavenderpug (message) 275 posts, Helper bee

i’m really sorry about that, miss star, that must have been heartbreaking. reuben must have been a very happy cat and it must have been very comforting for him to have you there as he passed. i’m glad that mr. star is being a rock and support for you.

9/21/09 @ 12:30 pm (reply)

16.

Member

Miss_Carmel (message) 317 posts, Helper bee

I teared up as I read this. I’m so sorry to hear about Rueben. As any pet lover knows our pets truly are our family members. What a wonderful feeling to know that you have a fiance (soon to be hubby!!) who is always there to comfort you.

9/21/09 @ 12:34 pm (reply)

17.

Member

bri the bride (message) 34 posts, Newbee

This was a wonderful post that really hit home for me, Miss Star. My precious family puppy that I grew up with is not doing so well, and I’ve been preparing for what you’re going through. My fiance is the same way as Mr. Star about it. I agree, we couldn’t be more blessed to have these guys.

9/21/09 @ 12:41 pm (reply)

18.

Bee

Mrs. Peep Toe (message) 1,636 posts, Bumble bee

Awww. Trying not to cry at my desk. And yes, I believe the bad times bring you together and remind you why you’ve chosen to be together.

9/21/09 @ 1:16 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Mrs. French Bulldog (message) 6,063 posts, Bee Keeper

You’ve got me all teary-eyed Miss Star. I’m so sorry for Rueben, but I am incredibly happy you found Mr Star What a wonderful man.

9/21/09 @ 1:45 pm (reply)

20.

Member

Lexatron (message) 330 posts, Helper bee

Do you know that “stella” is Latin for “star”? Did you plan that, are was it just a coincidence?

9/21/09 @ 3:07 pm (reply)

21.

Member

alvina (message) 298 posts, Helper bee

Cute blue dress!!

9/21/09 @ 3:35 pm (reply)

22.

Member

pvaulter718 (message) 1,593 posts, Bumble bee

So sorry to hear about Rueben, Miss Star. So glad you got to spend 20 awesome years with him though! When I was in a car accident and looked a freaking mess, my hubby told me how beautiful I looked and how lucky he was to have me. I couldn’t ask for more…

9/21/09 @ 3:41 pm (reply)

23.

Member

lauralou852 (message) 283 posts, Helper bee

I’m so sorry to hear about Rueben! I went through the same thing my freshman year of college when my family decided to put my 18-year-old dog to sleep - It’s rough! But I totally know what you mean about the bad times reminding you why you’re so thankful for your hunny and why you’re marrying him!

9/21/09 @ 4:35 pm (reply)

24.

Member

KMSull (message) 2,510 posts, Sugar bee

This post made me cry! Beautifully written, but I have those moments when I realize just HOW MUCH I love boyfriend and those are exciting. But I’m sorry about your cat

9/21/09 @ 4:37 pm (reply)

25.

Hostess

LatteLove (message) 4,094 posts, Honey bee

I had a few of those moments before the wedding, mostly not until I really desperately needed them. Marriage is the wonderful end result of a fun party (i.e. the wedding) and it lasts a lifetime.

9/21/09 @ 4:41 pm (reply)

26.

Bee

Mrs. Penguin (message) 2,148 posts, Buzzing bee

I know what you mean, Miss Star. I think the rough times also grow our relationship a lot faster than the good. I’m sorry to hear about your kitty He sounds like he was very very lovedand that you guys were great kitty parents.

9/21/09 @ 5:30 pm (reply)

27.

Bee

Miss Labrador (message) 1,324 posts, Bumble bee

RIP Reuben! It’s hard to see you go through this because it only reminds me of my kitty Blue.

9/21/09 @ 7:23 pm (reply)

28.

Member

Ms. Mojito (message) 230 posts, Helper bee

So sorry to hear about your kitty I have a dog and I can’t imagine how difficult that must be.
Its nice to see that something good can come out of a bad event though-even more confirmation that you are marrying a wonderful man who will take care of your heart!

by the way, your yorkie is adorable!!!

9/21/09 @ 7:29 pm (reply)

29.

Member

MrsSpitzer (message) 156 posts, Blushing bee

Trying. Not. To. Cry! So sorry to hear about the loss of your kitty Ruben. In a way I hesitate to say our pets are like our kids (because I don’t have kids-yet!) but in a lot of ways I think they’re very similar. Either way, after 20 years, you’ve lost a huge part of you and I hurt for your loss. I think all of us pet owners can relate and are thinking of you in this difficult time but are excited for you as your wedding day approaches!

9/21/09 @ 8:49 pm (reply)

30.

Guest

KathyL

I know the pain of putting a kitty asleep when you’ve had them all their lives….ours, 18 years. As an adult, I didn’t know I could cry that hard. I’m glad you were with your kitty until the end.
I read this somewhere, and since I’ve been married a long time, this is a very true observation. I sent to several of my friends who also have been through the ups and downs.
Many, many happy years to you, shining Star…..
“No long-term marriage is made easily, and there have been times when I’ve been so angry or so hurt that I thought my love would never recover. And then, in the midst of near despair, something has happened beneath the surface. A bright little flashing fish of hope has flicked silver fins and the water is bright and suddenly I am returned to a state of love again — till next time. I’ve learned that there will always be a next time, and that I will submerge in darkness and misery, but that I won’t stay submerged. And each time something has been learned under the waters; something has been gained; and a new kind of love has grown. The best I can ask for is that this love, which has been built on countless failures, will continue to grow. I can say no more than that this is mystery, and gift, and that somehow or other, through grace, our failures can be redeemed and blessed.”

— Madeleine L’Engle

9/21/09 @ 9:12 pm (reply)

31.

Member

ColorCoated (message) 951 posts, Busy bee

Sorry about Rueben Star, but hopefully that cutie Stella will help keep you in high spirits!

9/21/09 @ 9:55 pm (reply)

32.

Member

tea (message) 2,616 posts, Sugar bee

i am sorry to hear about reuben but the end message was so very heartwarming. i feel the same way in those sad moments about my guy

9/21/09 @ 10:53 pm (reply)

33.

Member

bass lover (message) 56 posts, Worker bee

My sweetie does so much for me and my two kids each day, I would run out of room writing everything down. He has a way of talking to me that makes me feel safe, that no matter what, he will always understand and love me. He’s my best friend.

I’m sorry for the loss of Rueben. Good luck with your new puppy..she’s named after my mom!

Your hunny is a sweetheart-to have a strong, caring, loving man in your life is a priceless gift indeed!!

9/21/09 @ 11:24 pm (reply)

34.

Bee

Miss Star (message) 1,277 posts, Bumble bee

@Lexatron: Actually, yes! I originally chose Stella for the Streetcar reference, but when I figured out that it could also be for Star, I knew it was perfect! Nice catch.

9/22/09 @ 10:45 pm (reply)

35.

Member

KatieBug3017 (message) 1,418 posts, Bumble bee

What a beautiful post…I’m so sorry about your kitty; I know how hard that can be. But, on the upside, your new pup is absolutely adorable! I have a yorkie/maltese mix and he is just the best thing since sliced bread!

9/23/09 @ 12:49 pm (reply)

36.

Bee

Miss Poodle (message) 3,020 posts, Sugar bee

Great post Miss Star! I can definitely relate, Mr Poodle has being there with me though-out so much! and yeah! I think I’ve been truly blessed by having him in my life, forever

9/23/09 @ 3:20 pm (reply)

37.

Member

Jenniphyr (message) 1,397 posts, Bumble bee

Aww, your new puppy is precious! =) Glad to hear you found the perfect man for you.

I am so sorry you had to put your cat down, though. *HUGS*

9/23/09 @ 7:44 pm (reply)

38.

Bee

Mrs. Mouse (message) 3,300 posts, Sugar bee

Oh Miss Star, that is so sad. I love the photo of you and Reuben. Losing a pet is so hard, especially because people expect that it isn’t a big deal and you should just get over it. My heart goes out to you!

9/26/09 @ 4:08 pm (reply)

39.

Member

SeiLuna (message) 65 posts, Worker bee

I’m so sorry to hear about your kitty! That is heart wrenching and my heart goes out to you. I’m glad that you are as optimistic as can be and that you saw something beautiful come out of a sad event. Little Reuben is one happy kitty knowing that he made his mama feel so loved.

10/3/09 @ 12:54 am (reply)