Wedding Blog

I am a super shy lady. Have been my entire life. When I was a tot, I could be found hiding behind my mom’s legs, and when I got older, hiding behind my wall of hair or a BSC book. I somehow got over this affliction when I started a band right after high school, but sometimes it strikes me in certain situations. Like parties, meeting new people, and… photo shoots.

Before wedding planning I had never heard of this “boudoir” business. When I first discovered it, my thoughts were along the lines of, ‘NO WAY WILL I GET NAKIE IN FRONT OF A STRANGER WITH A CAMERA!’ At some point I realized… when will I ever get the chance to do this again? Why not just do it and have fun with it and make it my own? And now that it is all over, I am really glad I did it.

I want to help you get over your fears and take the boudoir photo plunge (pretend I just said that out loud in an infomercial-esque voice). So here is my little helper:

The Shy Girl’s Guide to Boudoir Photography!

1. Get Comfy.

This one happens to have two parts:

A. You need a photographer that you feel comfortable with. Make sure you meet with them at least once before the shoot, so that you can get a vibe and make sure its going to work for everyone. Luckily, our wedding photog does boudoir shoots, and we had already done an engagement shoot with her, so it was a natural choice. It also helped that her shots are killer and her prices totally reasonable. If you can’t find a photographer that meets your needs, consider having a close friend do it. Even though the pictures might not have the same polished, professional look, they will still be an amazing gift for you and your fiance.

B. You need to be comfortable with your body. It’s taken me 26 years to get comfortable in my own skin, but now that I am there I will never go back. Don’t apologize for your flaws, don’t worry about your imperfections. Remember that these photos are for you and your partner to enjoy, and no one else needs to like them, or even see them. I just pretended that Mr. S was in the room with me, and that helped a LOT.

If you aren’t in that comfort zone, it will show. But you can fake it! Wear clothes that you love. Boudoir does not have to equal nude, or even skimpy outfits. I wore a retro dress in a lot of my photos, and those are some of my favorites. If you do have certain body parts that you are shy about, keep them covered! It’s much better to leave certain things hidden, than to expose it all but look petrified in every photo! Get your hair and makeup done, it will make you feel like a whole new person. Make sure the photo shoot happens in a place that you are comfortable with. I knew that only a hotel room could offer me the privacy I needed, but for some people, the beach or a park would be a great choice.

Also, do NOT wear tight clothing to the shoot. An hour before shoot time, change into something loose. Try not to wear a tight bra (since that will leave lines on your back and sides) or jeans. I slipped into a loose dress, and it was perfect.

2. Bring Props!

Props will save you! Holding onto something always makes me feel more secure, and it might work for you, too! In most of my shots I am holding something—either a martini glass or a necklace or my husband’s guitar. Big things are great, because you can hide behind them when you start feeling exposed.

A veil is another great item to hide behind

Get creative! Peek out from behind a door or a magazine or a cookbook. Bring your SO’s favorite item (maybe a frying pan if he loves to cook or a shovel if she likes gardening… the possibilities are totally endless). My props included: a large guitar, jewelry, a cake on a cake stand (although that didn’t make it to the shoot!), a cocktail, a book, glasses, and bubbles.

Your outfits are props too, so choose wisely! If you are buying new outfits for the shoot, buy one size bigger than you normally would, so that the clothes sit loosely on your skin and don’t dig into any places. My photog suggested this, and the advice is brilliant. If you aren’t normally a lingerie girl, then don’t bring lingerie! You want clothes that are YOU, not some idea of what you think boudoir photos should look like. Also, don’t feel like everything you bring has to be new and exciting. I bought myself one new outfit and the rest were things I already had.

My favorite accessory: a vintage bedroom robe. I wore it over a few outfits to make me feel covered up, but it’s a super sexy slinky cover-up! Vintage robes make everything better. You can get a cute one on Etsy for about $10.

I brought way too many changes of clothes with me! A pencil skirt, a vintage dress, two sets of lingerie, a bathing suit, and two robes.

3. Relax

If you are the drinking type, have a drink. Or two. Or, if you are like me, have two shots from the minibar before your photographer arrives and a couple of cocktails during the shoot! If not, do a little bit of yoga or take a bubble bath in your hotel room. Do a crossword puzzle. Read a book. Whatever helps you relax, do it!

If you get nervous during the shoot, just laugh. It works for me, and I promise it can work for you too. And laughing pictures are always adorable.

4. Don’t over-think it, have fun, be confident, be prepared, and enjoy yourself. I know those things are all easier said than done, but I made myself follow these guidelines, and it worked.

(All photos: Hazelnut Photography)