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Mrs. Bruschetta, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 25, Communication Professional Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Physical Therapy Graduate Student Engagement Date: November 30, 2007 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House About Me: I’m a self-proclaimed grammar geek who loves singing (like, really belting it) in the car. My mister and I are planning a vibrant summer soiree celebrating our passions – including food and Philly – and when we make it official, we’ll have been together for eight years! Being super competitive is in my nature, and talking excessively is in my genes. I’ve got a terrible sense of direction, but can always easily find my way into Mr. Bruschetta’s arms.
About Mrs. Bruschetta

… and we’re a couple of loafing newlyweds.

I'm Honey Wheat, He's Sourdough... :  wedding relationships Breadl

(source)

Our month-a-versary was earlier this week — love you, Mr. Bruschetta! — and my husband and I “celebrated” by vegging in front of the television. And the next night? Well, we relaxed and enjoyed some quality tube time together. (We’re just gleeful about the new show we recently added to our rotation.) Tonight? Yup, a bit more TV watchin’.


Honestly, I’m surprised we’ve been this couch potato-y. True, there were plenty of times in the weeks leading up to our wedding — when every. single. evening. was consumed with wedding crafts and vendor emails — when I thought longingly of sitting back at night and just doing nothing together. I was also so focused on blogging, and frustratingly found I had more posts to share with the hive than time to write them. (Silver lining: I’ll be writing my little heart out over the next few months, discussing everything from rehearsal dinner favors to Italy’s tastiest trattorias.)

I didn’t imagine I’d crash like this, though. I’d envisioned transitioning from a planning-focused fiancee to a much less stressed version of myself, still crafting and blogging with gusto — and getting back into cooking more frequently, too! And, while I’m at it, why not get into photography! Yoga! Knitting! Heck, the sky’s the limit! After all, I really wasn’t much of a DIY-er until I found Weddingbee several months into our engagement — and now have a Cuttlebug, embossing gun and a slew of other scrapbooking supplies to show for it.

But after our whirlwind wedding day and run ’em ragged honeymoon, we’re tired. The stack of blank thank you notes mocks me every time I walk past our den, and while they remain unwritten, our wedding gifts are quietly biding their time in their boxes. (Oh, and on top of our still-to-be-sent expressions of gratitude, I’ve identified Newlywed Stressor #2: the unpleasant realization that our apartment doesn’t seem quite big enough for us and all our shiny new kitchen goodies.)

My theory is that over the course of our 20-month engagement, I became so accustomed to being a bride-to-be — drafting to-do lists, saving inspiration pictures and crafting my way through DIY projects — that by comparison, this new wife life (and the freedom that comes with it) is, for someone like me who loves structure, a little scary. I don’t know what to do with all the photography and wedding blogs I’ve collected in my Reader — I’d welcome suggestions, though! — and I’m slightly intimidated by the thought of crafting something that isn’t orange or purple (our two main wedding colors). What other hues would I use?! (Unless I get focused fast and cough out a number of Halloween projects with these perfect-for-the-season shades.)

I’m terming it post-wedding exhaustion, with a side of post-wedding panic. (It’s definitely not post-wedding depression, since I’m loving life and my husband, and we’re both oh-so-happy with our chill nights in together.) Miss Lamb recently baaaa-ttled out a very similar issue when she wrote about people pleasing, and the role it’s played in her wedding planning — and I’m thinking it’s coming into play here, at least in the back of my own mind. I mean, aren’t I supposed to be savoring every moment of every day with my husband? Shouldn’t I be the personification of marital bliss?

It’s just that without a deadline looming in the distance, and a series of projects I’ve gotta complete by that date… well, I’m a little lost. And (at least for now) a lost Bruschetta feels right at home in front of the telly.

So, hive, can you help me get out of my rut? Married bees and readers: Anyone else experience something similar to what I’m describing here? If so, how did you shake these feelings and get on with life as normal? And to the to-be-married crew: What are you looking forward to doing post-wedding to fill the “no more planning!” void?

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32 Responses to “I’m Honey Wheat, He’s Sourdough…”

1 2 

1.
Miss Star
Bee
Miss Star (message)  2,057 posts, Buzzing bee

So nice to have a little Bru on the blog again! I think I’ll feel the same way for a few weeks — very tired and wanting to just chill out for a bit!

 
2.
Miss Labrador
Bee
Miss Labrador (message)  1,805 posts, Buzzing bee

I long for the days of NOTHING (at least wedding-related nothing) to do!

 
3.
Piccateer
Member
Piccateer (message)  165 posts, Blushing bee

I completely relate to what you are dealing with! We’ve been married almost three months and I just forced myself to finish the last of the thank you notes. Right after the wedding I felt completely lost in the “nothing to plan for” universe so I decided ok, time to buy a house…which is not the best idea for us right now. I quickly figured out I need to really take my time on that one. I still want a goal, but DH is forcing me to take the time to recover from the wedding and really fall into a comfortable married routine…I think in the long run he knows best on this one :)

 
4.
Member Icon
Member
LisaM (message)  160 posts, Blushing bee

You will have more of that in the coming years. Hopefully you and your hubby will stay close forever! Good luck…

 
5.
Mrs. Mouse
Bee
Mrs. Mouse (message)  5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

I’ve only been back from the honeymoon for a few days, but I’ve been doing a lot of TV-watching, too. I think it’s normal! you just need a little time to recover from all the craziness. You’ll be back to your structured, productive self in no time, I predict.

 
6.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Swan (message)  1,046 posts, Bumble bee

It took me about a month and a half to really get my energy back after the wedding. All I wanted to do was veg out. I’m just starting to feel back in the swing of things again.

 
7.
tessabella76
Hostess
tessabella76 (message)  3,122 posts, Sugar bee

Yup. Getting me to do anything post-wedding related these days is like pulling teeth. I just want to chill with my hottie hubby and enjoy the fall weather (read: snuggling on the couch in front of the tv/fire).

 
8.
Champagne Wishes
Member
Champagne Wishes (message)  1,187 posts, Bumble bee

Oh Mrs. B, I have so many friends with the post-wedding blues!
Mrs. Bee had posted a scrapbooking event she went to a few weeks ago. I was inspired to do “scrapbooking” shadow boxes of our courtship, engagement and wedding. I showed my friends and we are getting together to make these.
Maybe you could grab some friends and give that a shot? Since everyone is in planning mode still, we are having signature cocktails, apps, and I think everyone is bringing romantic phrases for all to share.

here is the post from Mrs. Bee - http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/09/25/scrapbooking-your-memories/#more-112050

 
9.
Guest Icon
Guest
rhodeygirl

I got married 7/25 and I am feeling the same way, but I am really enjoying it! Every night from about 8-10 PM my husband and I are lazy bums on the couch watching TV or playing on our laptops… and it is glorious. We are training for a half marathon and waking up super early to do that every day, so that is one way we are out of the initial rut. I think picking a goal to achieve together is a great way to move forward. Also, we cook a nice dinner every night (check out my blog for some awesome recipes). I strive to try out something new (whether from my mind or a mag/book/internet) every week in the kitchen.

Good luck! And for now… the blank thank you cards are staring at me too!

 
10.
Miss_Carmel
Member
Miss_Carmel (message)  316 posts, Helper bee

I’m looking forward to those days too! For myself, I’ll begin to study for the CPA exams that I’ve brushed to the wayside until planning the wedding is over. I also want to learn another language and we plan on trying to get prego not long after our wedding. :)

Can you focus on your career or other self-improvements?

 
11.
Guest Icon
Guest
Amanda

I can totally relate. We were married 9/19 and once everyone left we have been CRASHED OUT. (I am thankful we are taking our honeymoon in the winter, we wouldn’t have the energy!) We were so run down my husband got a bad cold and we watched TV for a solid week. To get out of the rut, we made a new to do list and started renovating our house again. After doing so much wedding planning (in a very short period of time) everything else is starting to look easy!
You will get into your new groove soon enough, enjoy these days of relaxation!

 
12.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Ramen (message)  354 posts, Helper bee

I’m not even married yet and I feel the SAME WAY. Sighhhhh. I just stare at my piles of crafting stuff, feel bewildered and exhausted, and take a nap. Hah!

 
13.
bunny
Bee
bunny (message)  1,177 posts, Bumble bee

Yes, this was me. After we got back from our honeymoon, Mr. Bunny was running around every night after work getting the house set up and I would lie on the couch reading a magazine or surfing the net (we didn’t have a TV at first). Now I’ve thrown myself into new projects and pursuits and am almost as busy as I was pre-wedding!

 
14.
IA_Snowflake
Member
IA_Snowflake (message)  1,913 posts, Buzzing bee

I think it;s kind of nice to finally relax and watch the tube together and talk or whatever. We spent our month-aversary this week in front of the tv too, so you’re not alone.

 
15.
Miss Giraffe
Bee
Miss Giraffe (message)  4,216 posts, Honey bee

Hang in there, bru!

 
16.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Mascara (message)  859 posts, Busy bee

I am feeling the same way Bru!

 
17.
Guest Icon
Guest
danafromslope

I’m tired and my wedding isn’t for another week! I feel your pain…But I do have to comment that I adore your “glee”ful obsession..I LOVE THAT SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
18.
abrideagain
Member
abrideagain (message)  532 posts, Busy bee

This sounds so lame, but I look forward to actually cleaning my house…yes, it’s not dirty by any means now, but it’s so cluttered. I can’t wait to use or get rid of all of the wedding junk that’s building up…just three more weeks!

Then, after the house is clean, I think some quality time in front of the tube sounds wonderful!

 
19.
julesann
Member
julesann (message)  90 posts, Worker bee

Oh my gosh! I am totally going to feel exactly like you….I know it!!! I can’t stop planning…..I’ve turned into a planning maniac! I always have way too many hobbies…..Yoga, working out, reading currently learning spanish for our honeymoon, planning for our wedding….and yes, I wanna learn to knit, too! ;) So sometimes I get too overwhelmed….and just watch tv….which is ok too!!

 
20.
Guest Icon
Guest
e2r2z

For me kicking out those thank you notes was a good little transition project. I couldn’t stand having that last thing to wrap up looming over my head. What you’re feeling is normal and one day the PWE will go away and you’ll feel inspired to start something new (hobby, activity, organization project for all that new kitchen stuff). 20 months is a looonnggg time to be focused on something (I only planned for 5 and definitely felt a transition), your mind needs a little bit of time to go from bride-to-be to wifey extraordinaire :) Enjoy the down time.

 
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Mrs. Bruschetta
Mrs. Bruschetta

Mrs. Bruschetta, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 25, Communication Professional Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Physical Therapy Graduate Student Engagement Date: November 30, 2007 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House About Me: I’m a self-proclaimed grammar geek who loves singing (like, really belting it) in the car. My mister and I are planning a vibrant summer soiree celebrating our passions – including food and Philly – and when we make it official, we’ll have been together for eight years! Being super competitive is in my nature, and talking excessively is in my genes. I’ve got a terrible sense of direction, but can always easily find my way into Mr. Bruschetta’s arms.

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