Wedding Blog
I’m going to warn you guys: this is a Debbie Downer post. But it’s important to be real, right? Anyway, I guess I’ll just jump right in… when I was 12, my father passed away. He was sick for a while and we all knew that his time with us was limited, but obviously you can’t prepare yourself for something like this. As I’ve made my way through the important events and milestones in my life, I’ve always wished that I could have my dad by my side, and my wedding day is no different.
This meant that he wouldn’t be there to walk me down the aisle, give me away, have our father daughter dance, or give a stern talking to Mr. Fro Yo (should he require one). I’ve never thought about this and not cried. And this time is no different; however, I’ve found ways to incorporate things that represent Daddy Fro Yo in our wedding. One of the things I plan to incorporate is magnolia flowers.
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My dad was from Mississippi, and you can’t drive 3 feet without seeing a magnolia tree there. I will have some of these gorgeous flowers in my bouquet, though I realize this is not a traditional wedding flower. My florist and I are still working out other ways to incorporate them. I have also been searching for the perfect magnolia flower to wear in my hair, and am still searching!
I also have some amazing people in my life that make my loss a little easier. Enter Brother Fro Yo:
(Can you guess which one he is? 
)
He will walk me down the aisle, tell me lots of jokes to calm my nerves, and keep me from crying the day of the wedding. He did this for my older sister at her wedding, and I know that he will do the same for me. He’s already taking his joke telling seriously by sharing this picture with me and saying that I should tell you all that he’s one of the monks.
However, the one thing he can’t stand in for is the father-daughter dance. Which leads me to the mother-son dance… I definitely do not want to take this moment away from Mr. Fro Yo and his mom, and he’s been so sensitive and wonderful regarding my feelings. But at the same time, I know that seeing them out there and knowing that my turn isn’t next will be very difficult for me. I have not come up with the solution for this. One thing I considered is just letting them dance whenever they want to, but maybe not making it a “moment” with a designated song. But is that special enough for them?
What would you all do?
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Oh Miss Fro Yo I am so very sorry for your loss. Brother Fro Yo is a cutie patootie and sounds like a great guy. What about doing a dance with him?
What a great brother you have. What about dancing with your brother, or do you have another male member of your family who has been a strong male figure in your family? One of my good friends was in a similar situation and she ended up dancing with her uncle and it was very sweet.
I agree what about dancing with Brother Fro Yo. Maybe invite other dads and daughters to dance too in honour of your dad.
PS That magnolia is a beautiful flower…
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I know that the big events in our lives reopen old wounds, and I can only imagine how hard it would be to have to experience your wedding without your father.
I’m glad your brother will be there to support you on your wedding day. How lucky to have such an awesome sibling!
Are you close to your mom? Though it’ll never be a replacement for your father-daughter dance, a mother-daughter dance could be just as touching. Maybe you could find a song about mothers in general, and you and Mr. Fro Yo could dance with your mothers at the same time?
I have a similar situation as you (as I try not to cry right now). My dad passed away 10 years ago, when I was 17. It’s still very difficult to deal with, and while getting married should be such a happy event, it’s impossible to think of your dad not being able to be there to share it, let alone the fact that he and your FH will never meet. Before I go on a rambling tangent, what my fiancee and I decided was that he will dance with his mom at some point during the night, but not a special only-ones-on-the-dance-floor type dance. I left it up to him and that’s what he wants to do.
BTW..i love that you are incorporating magnolias into your wedding. It makes me think about how I will represent my dad there.
Magnolia flower and beautiful birdcage veils:
Unveiled Bridal Designs.com
A great site!
After reading a couple of the other posts, the reason we aren’t doing a “replacement” dance is that I feel that the one person I want to be there can’t be, and if I dance with my uncle or poppop, it’s not the same and all I’ll think about is how my dad is not there. Then again, I have been to a wedding where the bride danced with both her brothers, bc the dad had passed away, and it seemed really nice bc they had been there for her. Maybe if i had a brother, the situation would be different.
Is Mr. Fro Yo’s dad around? If my dad wasn’t around I would either choose a grandfather or FFIL for that dance, but I don’t know the whole dynamics of your situation.
Is there a song that reminds you of your dad? Or maybe his wedding song with you mom? You could play it in memory of him, and everyone could dance, and you could be in your husband’s arms, which would be a safe place for that sort of tough moment.
I say dance with your brother. I think brides often forget how important brothers are. He won’t be replacing your dad. It’ll just be a new experience for both of you and a sort of sweet way to honor your father. Maybe dance to a favorite song of his.
I’m so sorry that your wedding day will have even a twinge of sadness in it. It makes me cry just thinking about it. I like the idea of you dancing with your mother best. If I were you, I wouldn’t want someone to stand in for my father… but there is nothing wrong with doing a mother/daughter dance! ((hugs))
Miss Fro Yo, we are in the same position. My father past away when I was 13, and even though our situations aren’t exactly the same, I understand. I have had many back and fourth thoughts about how to handle the big father/daughter moments. You want them, but at the same time you don’t want to replace him in any way.
These are my current plans for the father/daughter moments. I want to walk down the aisle by myself, and have all nine members of my family give me away. My mom will lift my drop veil, and someone (aunt or uncle) will say in memory of my grandma and dad. As for the dance, I am not planning the traditional sentimental dance. I will be dancing with my 16 year old cousin to something fun (currently thinking “hey ya”) and invite everyone on to the dance floor 3/4 through the song. I like that it won’t be exactly like a father/daughter dance and it will be up beat.
I know you will find something that will fit. Even if you decide just to nix the dance. Its your choice!
i’m so sorry. after coming narrowly close to losing my dad this year, this post really hit me. have you thought of dancing with your mom?
i love how you plan on incorporating the magnolia for your dad. i think that’s a sweet touch.
What about dancing with your dad’s brother? or father? or Mother’s father?
It’s still somewhat traditional- your Dad’s brother (or father) would be “the closest thing” in a way or if you danced with your Maternal Grandfather, it would be what your mother was doing the day she married your father…
I also agree with dancing with your mum! That would be very special.
It might be a little too theatrical for you, but I loved that scene in Elizabethtown *I think that was the movie* when the mother does a dance FOR her husband who passed.
You could have your husband dedicate a dance with you to your father, and/or maybe dance a little with each of the men who carry on your father’s spirit (above mentioned grandfather, uncle, best friend? etc.)
Just throwing some ideas out that might spark one of your own! I hope you find something that works for you.
-Hugs-
*Hugs* My heart goes out to you, Miss Fro Yo. Something about getting married without your dad there just doesn’t feel right. We decided to skip the whole father/daughter, mother/son dance thing since my dad passed away last year. I’m not sure if we would have done it anyway. I hope you can come up with something to make it less painful for you. Do you have anyone who could fill your dad’s shoes for the dance?
I completely empathize with you FroYo. My father passed away when I was 14 and my youngest brother will walk me down the aisle. I love your idea of the magnolias to represent him at your wedding!
People always think this is an odd idea, but why not dance with your Mom? Where’s the rule that it has to be a male member of your family you dance with? If the dance is all about signifying the special person who raised you and supported you and got you to this point, then why not your Mom. My parents are both alive (I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you, thinking about your Dad not being there *hugs*) but I wanted to acknowledge that they both raised and supported and nurtured me. My Dad walked me down the aisle, but I danced with both of them. They switched halfway through the song. Lots of people told me afterwards how nice they thought it was that I danced with my Mom too.
If you’re interested, here is my blog post about it: http://rubyslippersbride.blogspot.com/2009/07/down-yellow-brick-road-part-xix-dancing.html
Miss Fro Yo. As someone who will be missing a parent (in my case my amazing mom) at my wedding my heart goes out to you. I commend you for finding ways to include him in the ceremony. My dad, will also not be there, but that is because he hasn’t ever been there. Instead, my cousin will be walking me down the aisle, and the two of us will be boogie-ing to something fun as our first dance song. I know this is rough, and this may be too hard, but dancing with your bro, might be an option.
I’m sorry about your father. 
I don’t have a father, so my cousin is walking me down the aisle. I was all for the FI having a mother/son dance, but he declined. He said he didn’t want the attention, but I have a feeling he was just making me feel less awkward about it. Gotta love that man.
I’m not sure what to tell you - I would go ahead with the mother/son dance and maybe take that opportunity to run to the restroom, straighten up your hair, have great photo ops with your mom and brother, etc?
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I’d imagine this is probably one of the hardest milestones to get through without him.
I think you should let him have his designated dance with his mom. Then during your time, maybe you could put together a slide show of pictures of you and your dad together before he passed away?? You could set it to a song you’d like to dance to with him if you had the opportunity.
As for the magnolia hair flower…have you considered having someone make it out of clay for you?? I bet you could get a pretty exact replica.
Im sorry to hear about your dad. I agree with many other posters, what if you dance with your mom and your husband dances with his mom? The magnolias are a beautiful way to remember your father too.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for your post–downer or not, it’s so nice to get feedback on what people are doing in these situations. I lost my dad 2 years ago and have been trying to figure out what to do during my upcoming wedding without him.
At the very begining of our planning, I was resolved to walk down the aisle myself because I wanted to make a point that if he couldn’t be there, I didn’t want to try to “replace” him. But after finding I couldn’t articulate that idea to anyone without bursting into tears, I have decided, like you, to have my brother walk with me, mostly for comic relief. 
We did decide though, that Mr. Emerald Slippers will have his special dance with his mom and I will not have a dance with anyone. Mr. Em and I have discussed this and it’s really important for him to do this with his mom and as you mentioned, I would never take that away from him. I’ve told myself I’ll be okay (this is when I’ll count on leaning on my maid of honor) and will do my best to focus on Mr. Em’s moment and how sweet it is. Instead of a father-daughter dance, a family friend has volunteered to give a toast in honor of my dad just after Mr. Em’s dance with his mom to acknowledge what and who will be missing. There will be tears but I wouldn’t have it any other way, personally.
Best of luck to you and remember that it’s okay to give the loss its moment on your special day.
We ended up planning not to do the traditional, announced, only ones on the floor mom/son, dad/daughter dance. My dad isn’t a dancer and recently had both knees replaced so it didn’t want him to feel he had to dance when I know he might not be comfortable. I discussed it with my groom as I didn’t want him or his mom to feel slighted. He totally understood and decided if there was a song or time that felt right for him to dance with his mom he would. As it turned out I did dance with my dad and he danced with his mom at different times. By not making an announcement or having everyone else clear the dance floor we ended up with fun, sweet moments that weren’t uncomfortable for any of us. If it’s important to your FMIL I would just have your fiancee choose a song that he will dance with his mom to and you can do whatever feels right at that time- dance with a brother, uncle, friend, or even spend some time chatting with guests or getting a drink. That way it’s stress-free.
(((BIG BEE HUGS))) Miss Fro Yo, I think the magnolias will be a beautiful reminder of your father
It must be tough to have to go through this without your father. Maybe do a silly dance with your brother? My soon-to-be sister in law did a “serious” dance with her husband and then did a silly one that they choreographed.
I lost my mother last year and it’s been really hard for me to even start planning everything without her.
The magnolias are beautiful and will serve as a lovely reminder of your father on your big day. Perhaps a candle surrounded by magnolias as well?
Sadly I share your shoes - and shed many tears on my wedding day. My hubby’s mom had also passed away so we ditched the father/daughter - mother/son dances altogether.
But I did dance two first song dances with my hubby. One was It’s Your Love (Tim & Faith) and the second was I Loved Her First (Heartland). This was my little tribute song to my dad. I can not hear it and not tear up.
By brother walked be down the aisle too A memory I will always cherish.
I’m sorry to hear about your father. Have you considered a clay flower to add to your hair on your wedding day? Mrs. Pineapple had her entire wedding flowers done by this GREAT etsy seller…
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5620819
With a clay magnolia, you will always have it long after the wedding is over to continue to remember that you dad was always close in your mind…
My cousin, since her dad passed away just before she was born, danced with her uncles. They each took a verse of a song and danced with her. It was really touching and meant a lot to them.
Perhaps you could dance with the men in your life that have tried to fill that father-type roll?
why don’t you dance with your mom while he dances with his! I always think mother/daughter dances are so sweet and heartfelt.
Latte has a good idea. We will marry a few weeks after the 10 year anniversary of my father’s death. I’m not sure how to handle it either. My stepdad is nice but I don’t know him very well and it would feel weird. I was thinking to do the “1st dance” where everyone joins in before the song is over, and then FH and I can just dance with our respective moms. I don’t know.
I’m so sorry for your loss! I lost my mom when I was 12, also. My heart hurts for you, and hurt for me as I read your post. I like the idea of dancing with your adorable rock of a brother, or if you have any particularly close uncles or grandpa around. But I also love what LatteLove says about dancing with your mama!
You guys are awesome!! Thank you so much for all your support; i am so appreciative! Mr. Fro Yo’s mom saw this post and was so great, she said she could dance with him at some point in the night and doesn’t want to do anything that would make me remotely sad on such a special day. Phew! I definitely did think about dancing with my brother, and it would provide some comic relief, so its still an option.
I am so sorry for your lost Miss Fro Yo. I think that is a wonderful way to incorporate a part of your Dad into your bouquet. I think that is wonderful of your FMIL, and think that dancing with your brother may still be fun and special.
I think Magnolia’s are gorgeous! And really… what IS a wedding flower anymore? People do what they love… and that’s how it should be!
As far as your dance goes… I’ve been to a couple weddings where the bride’s father had either passed away or was no longer in the picture. They had a Mothers Dance. The bride with her mother and the groom with his. It was quite beautiful.
Best of Luck to you!!!
Hey! My FI’s mother won’t be able to make the wedding, for different, but no less sad reasons. He was planning on dancing with my mother while I danced with my dad. That way it wouldn’t be too focused on him and the fact that his mother isn’t there, but would still let us both have a moment with important people to us. If you want to dance, maybe you could dance with your brother or some other male in your life, or heck, even your mother while Mr. FroYo dances with his mom?
I am also in the same position. My father died a little over 2 years ago, when he was just 51 and I was 22. I’m almost 25 now, and my wedding is in two weeks.
My fiance has been incredible supportive of the whole thing, and told me when we got our DJ that he did not want to dance with his mother because he didn’t want me to go through that pain. It would be hard on my whole family, not just me, and he was incredible about that. While I had a minor issue with his mom over this (it was resolved fairly quickly, though, I am happy to say), I’m glad there won’t be specialty dances.
I will have a charm on my bouquet with my father’s picture in it, and we will have a special table set aside in the reception with candles to honor our lost loved ones. My mom is going to walk my down the aisle and give me away, but I know my father will be there in spirit.
I’m sure you will find a wonderful way to honor your father (the magnolias are lovely!), and wish you the very best in this bittersweet moment. As you can see from all of these comments, our hearts are with you!
I’m so sorry that you have to think about this in such a happy time. My father is an awful person and it has always made me sad thinking about my wedding not being the way a wedding should be because of him. IN the end itwwasstinky but not terrible. I lost my grandmother (who was one of the most influential people in my life) about a year before I got married. That ended up making me alot sadder. I did find a way to include her. I clipped a locket brooch to my flowers. Kept her with me! I posted a few pics on my blog.
http://soontobemrsgalgano.wordpress.com/2009/08/05/my-diy-bouquet
I lost my mother when I was twelve, and although my grief will sneak up on me on my day, I would not take away a moment from your groom if it is important to him just because you think it will trigger your grief. It is your grooms’ day too, and he should be able to dance with his mother, if he so desires.
Now, with that out of the way, one of my BMs never knew her father. He was MIA from day one. Her mother has been both parents. So her mother walked her down the aisle, and she had a mother-daughter dance. I thought it was great. I would do a mother-daughter dance if I were in your shoes. You’ve already given your brother a large role in your day and you should honor your mother in that same way. Besides, who has been there your whole life to step in when you father couldn’t? Your mother for one and your brother second, I’m sure.
Good luck with whatever you decide. Balancing the grief of a lost parent is a struggle on any holiday or celebration, and especially so on your big day.
My father passed away 5 years ago and i was very lucky he gave me away the first time around as well as my sister. Now I’m planning #2 and am having my brother walk me down and I was thinking instead of dancing with my brother, to do the dance with hubby to the song my sister and dad danced to at her wedding. Whenever I hear that song I think of him. HUgs to you!
Miss Fro Yo, I am so sorry for the loss of your father! That is such a tough thing to go through. What about doing a mother-daughter dance? You could share a special moment with your mom for a nice brief moment.
I think it’s super sweet to have your brother walk you down the aisle. I think it’d be nice if Mr Fro Yo and his mom still had a special moment… but you definitely shouldn’t be sitting on the sidelines. Perhaps it’d be ok to dance with your brother? Or maybe your mom, esp if she’s the one who raised you. Orrrr maybe Mr. Fro Yo’s dad…? I know… totally untraditional and possibly weird, BUT… he’s now part of your family and since you and Mr Fro Yo are one… he’s your dad now too? Sorry if that’s too weird… just a suggestion. :] I would vote for the dance with mom though.
A friend of mine who got married in January had other father daughter couples that were at the wedding dance to the “father-daughter” dance since she wasn’t able to dance with her father.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I agree with some of the other bees — what about dancing with your brother? Or, if you want, maybe you can dance with your mother instead? I think it’s very sweet of you not to want to take away from your Mr.’s moment, though. And the magnolias sound beautiful!
I lost my father at a young age and will be dancing to the ‘The Best Day’ by Taylor Swift.
I am sorry for your loss, too. My father is gone as well, although I am older, so it is not a surprise. My brother walked me down the aisle, and I also danced with him . . . it was special, so you might consider doing that. I think my brother was proud to be involved, and he knew he was filling in for my dad who couldn’t be there, so it was a nice thing for him, too. I also had a magnolia in my hair (a real one) and some in my bouquet, but they were there mainly for the beautiful aroma they give off. If you have real magnolias, make sure you have some back-up extras; they are fragile and wilt fast! But they do smell heavenly! (The one in my hair looked a bit sad by end of the night, but I don’t care — it did smell good, and the back-up they had for me was in worse shape, actually! LOL) Good luck with your decision about the dance! It’s nice that your mom-in-law-to-be was cool about it!
Scratch the comments about the magnolias — mine were gardenias, I believe! Sorry about that! 
I’m sorry, Miss Fro-Yo. My mother was in the same position when she was married, and she had her closest male relative do it. I also had a friend who danced with the Father of the Groom.
quite a few years before he got married, my cousin’s mother passed as well. and since then, my mother became that motherly figure in his and his brothers’ lives when needed. so, on his wedding day (and his brother’s) my mother danced with him. if there is a fatherly figure you have in you life, maybe you could share it with him. otherwise, your brother seems like the best man for the job! best wishes.
Thanks for being so willing to be honest about your life; maybe you BOTH can do a Mom-dance (even at the same time?) - that way they get to have their moment, and you can also celebrate your mom! (I love the flower tribute too)
Thanks for sharing this. I think the Mom dance is interesting, or have your mom with you and Bro FroYo (who is darn cute by the way!)
I second Lisa Bee’s idea, your FH is probably the best one to comfort you in this situation and in order to not duplicate your first dance having it be everyone dancing to your dad’s song would be so sweet.
My FH’s mother passed away about 8 years ago. I’ve gone back and forth about this myself because I, like Mr FroYo, am trying to be sensative to his feelings. I have thought about skipping my dance with my dad because it’s not really that big a deal to me personally. I’ve even suggested he take our 3 year old out and dance with her.
I konw how you feel, I lost my dad and i am afraid that i will cry the whole day of my wedding but my mom and brothes are each doing something in his sted, mom is giving me away and my brothers are both doing the speeches, sorry to all the bee’s who have lost someone special to them and i think we will all find special ways to include them in our wedding day.
I am planning to have a locket with a picture of my father whom i lost 10yrs ago and it will be attached to my flowers also i have a religeous medal that i am sowing into a pocket inside my dress that is my grandmothers, so thats my something old and borrowed.
As to your situation of a father/daughter dance, we dont have that custom over here but if i were you allow your FH to have the dance with his mom but dont have it just the two of them, let them have it at a moment that suits them during the evening, hopefully that way you wont feel like your standing on the sidelines. Or if his mom insists on having the dance, after his dance why dont you pick a really upbeat song and invite all your family to join you on the dancefloor and get the party started that way. i feel that i would not want to dance with my brother/uncle at that time i would prefer to not do it al all nobody can take a fathers place sometimes but thats just my opinion. I hope you find a solutin that your happy with and have a lovely day. :))
Your post made all teary!
FI’s parents have both passed away while he was in his twenties, so his wedding day will be bittersweet.
We are leaving two empty chairs in the first row and will drape the chairs with a magnolia swag - I actually just finished it a few days ago. His parents loved their magnolia trees. Certain family members are going to lay roses in the chairs as the ceremony starts. FI doesn’t know, but I have a locket for his bout and a special hankie for him.
Aww…Mr. For Yo…I am in the same boat except my dad just passed away in April. I am from the South and I am having Magnolias for my flowers also. I thought I might dance with my FFIL for the father daughter dance (it won’t be the same because he is not as affectionate as my daddy was) but I think I will feel slighted if I don’t get a father-daughter dance. I am almost tearing up thinking of ways to honor my father but, another option could be to play a song for others to dance to in his honor but I think I might come apart during a song to honor him. I am at a loss….sorry thought I could be of some help
I’m so sorry for your loss miss fro yo-i would suggest letting your fh and mil definately dance together, you could dance with your brother? or your mom? or your future father-in-law, it definately won’t take the place of your father but i think every bride deserves a special dance with a loved one (no matter who that loved one might be).
Dance with your brother My brother’s wife danced with her brother at their wedding, and it was very special…and comical at the end. I agree with kimtim, every bride deserves that dance. Your brother would be honoroed to do that for you
Thanks for being so honest and open, and please do not for one second think you are “Debbie Downer!” Posts like these are important because we are all facing difficult issues and they are just as important to talk about and get advice on.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Miss FroYo. I don’t have a relationship with my dad, but at my wedding, I know it was really important for my husband to dance with his mom. My brother walked me down the aisle, but I just didn’t feel like dancing with him (he’s kinda shy). Instead, my husband and his mom had their special dance together and about half way through, I danced with his dad and joined them. It was kind of spontaneous (his dad asked me), but it was also kinda sweet.
Acknowledging and remembering your father through beautiful flowers is a great idea!
Thank you for sharing this, Miss Fro Yo. I am so sorry for your loss. The magnolias will be a beautiful touch and your brother seems like an amazing person. It’s comforting to know that whatever you decide about the dance, you’ll have the support and understanding of your loved ones.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The amount of time that passes doesn’t really matter because the pain/memory of losing someone doesn’t seem to fade. We will be doing something special to honor my mom too- probably flowers.
i’m so sorry for your loss… i love how you’re adding magnolias to honor your dad and that your FMIL is having such a sweet gesture towards you.
Hug for you Fro Yo. That’s so tough, but it’s nice Bro Fro Yo is there for you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Like everyone else, I think the flowers will be a beautiful touch, and that your brother rocks. *e-hug*
I think maybe dancing with your mom would be a great idea! My uncle’s wife did that at their wedding last year. My uncle also made a suprise slide show with pictures of her and her dad during the mom/daughter dance. It was very powerful and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.
I am truly touched by all of your support; thank you again! I feel very lucky to have a supportive and loving family and I have the same with Mr. Fro Yo, so it makes things a little easier.
dance w/ your mom
I am in the exact same position. My dad died when I was 16. Both of my brothers will be walking me down the isle. I want to leave an empty seat in the front row for the ceremony in honor of him. I think I will be placing a card or rose on the chair too. I’ve talked to my fiance about the whole mother/son, father/daughter dance thing and we have come up with 2 options. We will either not have this at all (which is what I think we are leaning towards, because I know it will break my heart) or having a mother/son, mother/daughter dance. Either way it will be super tough not having him there. It’s been hard at all the big life events like graduating from high school and college and getting engaged. I miss him so much and I refuse to not honor his memory at my wedding. After all, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him.
i haven’t read through the other posts yet, so someone might have alredy said this, but maybe doing a slide show of pics of you and your dad from before he passed away? it would be a beautiful way to remember him during your special “father/daughter” time. just a thought…
You have a wonderful Mother In Law. Perhaps let her chose the song she would like to dance with Mr FroYo to, and then it can be included as one of the slow dances during the evening?
*hugs* I think that having it as a regular dance wouldn’t be so bad - but maybe they can start … and your brother and yourself could join in? My mom had a similar experience … and her and my uncle shared a dance instead!
Sorry for your loss, I’m sure that each big step in your life is difficult without your father, but I think the magnolias are a great way to honor his memory. You and your sister are lucky to have such a wonderful brother! My fiance had an impromtu mother-son dance at our wedding…other people were dancing, the song wasn’t anything particularly special, he just asked his mom to dance, and it was no less special for them. Kudos to FMIL Fro Yo for agreeing that her dance with her son will still be special even if a huge deal isn’t made of it.
I recently went to the wedding of a woman in the same situation. Her husband had a mother/son dance, and later in the evening, she and her husband had a dance in honor of her father with a favorite song of his. It was almost like a second first dance, but with a different meaning, and family and friends were invited to join them on the dance floor about halfway through the song.
Having lost both of my parents, I have been struggling with this aspect of planning.
I read about a wedding where they had all of the married couples come onto the dance floor and then asked them to leave if they had been married for less than a year, less than 5, less than 10, etc… until the couple who had been married longest were left.
I think this is a nice substitute for the parent dances, and gives my grandparents and his parents a time to shine since they have been married for 40 and 50 years.
I don’t think I could handle the empty chairs at the ceremony, I’ll have a hard enough time keeping it together! I do think I will have a small table with some photos and candles.
[...] Remembering Family by Miss Frozen Yogurt [...]
I don’t understand why brother fro yo can’t dance with you.
my mom passed away in 2000, in 2003 my brother got married. It was an emotional time for our entire family. When it came to the mother son dance, just after the father/daughter dance -they just announced that this dance was in memory of my mom - my brother walked over to me and asked ME - his dear little (and only) sister to stand in for her. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room.
I am very late to this post- I just wanted to say that I’m very sorry for your loss. *hugs*
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Miss Frozen Yogurt, Dallas
Age and Occupation: 28, Special Projects Coordinator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Equity Trader
Engagement Date: March 19, 2009
Wedding Date: April 2010
Venue: Marie Gabrielle, Dallas
About Me: I was born and raised in Texas, and have lived in several of the cities across the state, but I currently reside in Austin. I went to college in Boston and have a special place in my heart for the Northeast. I love reading, shopping, wine, reuniting with college friends that are scattered across the country, reality TV, trying out new recipes, and attempting all the DIY projects that come along with wedding planning. I'm a "bleeding heart, save the world type" and thankfully my job allows me to work on legislation and policy to help out those in need. I met Mr. Frozen Yogurt in a bar, though he doesn't even drink! And now we are planning a modern yet vintage wedding in Dallas while dealing with the trials and tribulations of first time homeownership.
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