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Mrs. Swan, New York City Age and Occupation: 31, Legislative Representative Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Finance Guy Engagement Date: August 9, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: Battery Gardens About Me: I am an un-crafty but resourceful, Caribbean-born but New York-raised woman who's been known to analyze "Dancing with the Stars" and “So You Think You Can Dance”, buy stinky cheese, and use way too many parentheses. I keep lists for fun, am constantly daydreaming of my next international travel adventure (four continents down, three to go), debating sports (let’s Got Mets/Giants!) and dancing around my apartment to stay sane. I am excited to share our wedding planning journey as I hope to plan a streamlined, personal, and fun wedding with the greatest life partner I could ever imagine, Mr. Swan.
About Mrs. Swan

The Streamlined Bride

October 5th, 2009 @ 4:05 pm by Mrs. Swan

As I said before, my biggest piece of advice is to make sure that you have fun during your wedding.

I spent a lot of time looking like this during our reception:

The Streamlined Bride :  wedding budget resources 3807332

(source)

BUT I feel like it took a lot of work on my part to make sure I was that way. I think it’s because I really took a scalpel to our wedding and really tried to capture the essence of what we wanted it to be.

Whether you’re at the beginning, middle or end of your wedding planning experience, there is often one word that keeps rearing in the back of your brain (or at least it did in mine). That word is: MORE. I need to do more. This wedding NEEDS MORE! I’m gonna let you know that you don’t need more. You’ll be just fine.

When Mr. Swan and I set out to plan the wedding, we were in agreement that we were just going to include things that were important to us. When contemplating the things that were important, we knew we wanted to make the process as easy as possible. We’re simple people at heart with a clean, modern style anyway, so it wasn’t going to be too hard. Also with all of the traveling I did over the first seven months of the year, including a work trip TWO days before the wedding (thanks, boss!), I knew that I couldn’t really mentally and physically (at least with my hands) devote a certain amount of energy to planning. That’s why in the end, I called myself “The Streamlined Bride”. Sometimes I think my approach may have made our wedding less “interesting” or cool, but I can safely say that I had a relatively stress-free planning process, and that was worth lower cool points to me.

How did I cut to the chase during our planning process? Here was my plan:

1. Do it early and often :) - This is pretty simple and common wedding planning advice, but if you can get a wedding task out of the way earlier in the planning, then do it. By tackling tasks early on, it really allows you to see whether various elements are really necessary at the tail end of planning. I think having an overall vision and having the determination to sticking to that vision as best you can will help ease your process in the long run.

2. Know you can’t have it all - I assure you that I would love to have had certain items as part of our wedding. Let’s take a lovely letterpress invitation suite as an example. Instead of having that, we had a one piece invitation with a small insert. It made putting together our invitations a lot easier. We could have DIYed something pretty special, but y’all know me (see below). There were just things we couldn’t afford, realized that we could not fit in, or just plain didn’t want. My early realization that I wasn’t going to be able to have it all made me really focus on the elements we were going to incorporate and to try to find a way to make them even better.

3. Less participants - As some of you may have noticed or remember, I had no wedding party. I know this is not an option for everyone, but it definitely eased the coordination aspects of the day. I’m sure I come off as cold on this one, but I incorporated my friends and family in other ways during our wedding.

4. No DIY - Writing that felt like I was blaspheming Weddingbee, but for me it actually reduced my stress. I’ve already said that being crafty is not one of my traits. If wedding planning has taught me anything, it’s that you have to be true to yourself. If you’re not a crafter, then don’t become one for the sake of the wedding if it will cause you to lose time and energy that you can spend focusing on something else. As a friend would say, “DO YOU!” Your wedding can still be personal and special if you don’t have handmade items. At the same time, if you’ve got the time and energy and it will help your budget, by all means, whip out the craft paper and make a run to the flower market.

5. Research, research, research - Researching things beforehand allowed me to know the universe of what I was dealing with in terms of vendors, wedding goods, etc. By knowing what I wanted when tackling a portion of the to-do list, I was focused with my time. With the exception of venue and dress shopping (okay, and maybe our photographer), I really pared down our vendor interviews and kept my other wedding related trips to the bare minimum because I did the research beforehand.

6. Just because someone else does it doesn’t mean you have to - I’m talking about wedding traditions here. We actually only had one person ask us why we didn’t have a bouquet toss, and it was a single dude (um… really?! Did you want my bouquet?)! Again, this is another personal call, but if you don’t want certain wedding reception traditions, don’t have them, or pick and choose which ones will actually enhance your day.

7. Extra stuff you think you need - We didn’t have toasting flutes, a special cake knife, a special bride hoodie, or favors (Again, I know this last option may not be for everyone). It’s okay not to have these items too if you don’t want them, have the time to look for them, or if they just don’t fit into your budget. Our  budget noticed that these things were missing, but I don’t think anyone else did.

8. Delegate to the professionals - We were of the mind that if we could afford it, sometimes it was just okay to have the professionals do it for us. Our venue and lovely coordinator had everything under control that day. If you can’t afford that route in your planning, rally your willing family and friends. At the same time, don’t feel like you didn’t keep it real because you paid someone to do it for you, whatever it may have been.

So that’s my little commentary on trying to de-stress and streamline your planning process. It’s not for everybody, but I hope it helps to see that sometimes less can be more in wedding planning.

Are there any things that you’re doing to make your wedding process a little less hectic?

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36 Responses to “The Streamlined Bride”

1 2 

1.
Miss Dachshund
Bee
Miss Dachshund (message)  689 posts, Busy bee

What a great post, Swan! I definitely need to heed some of this advice, especially number 1! I’m tryyying to get things out of the way early, but I’m good at procrastinating.

 
2.
IA_Snowflake
Member
IA_Snowflake (message)  1,913 posts, Buzzing bee

That’s great advice for people in the midst of planning. Wish I would have known that about 9 months ago - I practically killed myself trying to make it “perfect”

 
3.
SanDiegoAli
Member
SanDiegoAli (message)  3,076 posts, Sugar bee

I love this post - thanks so much for sharing Mrs. Swan - I think you’ve hit the nail on the head!

 
4.
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Guest
MayBee

Great post!! Exactly what I needed to hear today! Excellent, excellent advice!! Thanks Swan! :)

 
5.
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Member
Laylabelle (message)  3,378 posts, Sugar bee

Ahhhh, thank you! With four weeks to go I find myself saying that word - MORE - all the time. Thanks for the reminder that sometimes less is more.

 
6.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Bruschetta (message)  5,565 posts, Bee Keeper

Great post! We cut things out toward the end of the process, but I definitely tried not to bite off more than I could chew all along.

 
7.
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Member
KMSull (message)  6,442 posts, Bee Keeper

What a fantastic post! Definitely saving this as one of my favorites! I love that you managed to have an amazing wedding, but also cut out alot of the stuff that gets lost in the shuffle but still causes so much stress!

Also, that picture of you is absolutely JOYOUS!

 
8.
redherring
Member
redherring (message)  1,991 posts, Buzzing bee

Oh, bless you. I keep freaking out about all of the details I “need”, and it’s starting to hit me: The world will not end if I do not have personalized toasting flutes, engraved cake cutting implements, a personalized cake topper (or even a cake, for that matter!), customized bathroom baskets, or the universe’s greatest out-of-town bags. My guests won’t give a crap about my linens or china pattern. And as long as they can see over or around the centerpiece, it’s likely to get an “ooh, pretty” at best, before they dig into my (hopefully) awesome food an enjoy a drink (or nine) from the open bar. Breathe :)

 
9.
Mrs. French Bulldog
Bee
Mrs. French Bulldog (message)  7,706 posts, Bumble Beekeeper

GREAT advise Mrs Swan :)

 
10.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Canary (message)  682 posts, Busy bee

Great post Mrs. S! I love the streamlined bride approach!

 
11.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Frozen Yogurt (message)  2,685 posts, Sugar bee

Oh, i needed this. But you know what’s so hard? I see inspiration on a daily basis and I think, oh I need that too! It’s constant! Although it’s wonderful, I think at some point I need to stop reading 15-20 blogs for ideas each day and realize that I already have great ideas and things.

 
12.
canegirl08
Member
canegirl08 (message)  158 posts, Blushing bee

Hallelujah Mrs. Swan!!

#3 - I definitely have to agree. We decided against a wedding party when I realized that almost half of our guest list would be standing up with this one. My friends completely understand. I’m still getting the shower and bacheloretter party and I’ll still have my friends there when I get ready. Many of them have breathed a sigh of relief because they don’t have to buy an expensive dress and come in super early for the wedding.

#6 - I also wholeheartedly agree with this one. We really don’t have the “major traditions.” As I’ve told all my friends/family/vendors this is exactly like the BBQs that I throw at the house just on a slightly larger scale and I happen to be getting married.

Thanks so much for writing this post!!!!!!!

 
13.
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Guest
Anonymous Wife to Be

#6 - Maybe the single guy was disappointed he couldn’t see all the single ladies in one group. :)

 
14.
ChiDIY
Member
ChiDIY (message)  184 posts, Blushing bee

Oh, god. I needed to hear this so.bad. today. thank you.

 
15.
markyk
Member
markyk (message)  227 posts, Helper bee

love this post! all of it is sooo true.

 
16.
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Member
KtobeC (message)  103 posts, Blushing bee

Great post! I’m also foregoing the bridal party to save cost on flowers and reduce coordination efforts. It’s nice to hear that other people go that route. Now I need to work on #1….not so great at that one!

 
17.
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Member
missvintage (message)  571 posts, Busy bee

Great post! I think I need to bookmark it and come back to it when I feel we need MORE.

 
18.
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Guest
charia

Great advice! It is so hard to remember this, and the moral support of other brides really helps. thanks!

 
19.
Mrs. Mouse
Bee
Mrs. Mouse (message)  5,821 posts, Bee Keeper

Man, I totally agree with everything you said in this post! Sometimes reading wedding blogs and mags all the time makes a girl feel like she has a whole lot to live up to. But in the end the day is about you, your groom, and your family and friends that are there to celebrate with you.

 
20.
Member Icon
Member
Mrs. Sparkle (message)  37 posts, Newbee

This is great advice to ALL brides-to-be! I think most of us do try to bite off more then we can chew & end up stressing out toward the end of the planning process! Hopefully i’ll be able to avoid that! Fingers crossed!

 
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Mrs. Swan
Mrs. Swan

Mrs. Swan, New York City Age and Occupation: 31, Legislative Representative Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Finance Guy Engagement Date: August 9, 2008 Wedding Date: August 2009 Venue: Battery Gardens About Me: I am an un-crafty but resourceful, Caribbean-born but New York-raised woman who's been known to analyze "Dancing with the Stars" and “So You Think You Can Dance”, buy stinky cheese, and use way too many parentheses. I keep lists for fun, am constantly daydreaming of my next international travel adventure (four continents down, three to go), debating sports (let’s Got Mets/Giants!) and dancing around my apartment to stay sane. I am excited to share our wedding planning journey as I hope to plan a streamlined, personal, and fun wedding with the greatest life partner I could ever imagine, Mr. Swan.

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