Weddingbee Blog

When it comes to getting my way and negotiating, I’m a little less “tough cookie” and a little more “wimpy, mushy cookie”. As an illustration:

Not a tough cookie! (Source)

Like many girls (and many other bees), it’s hard for me to put myself first. I feel terrible when I inconvenience others or have to ask for what I need. So when it comes to negotiating, I’m not exactly your go-to gal!

However, the love of my life taught me a very important lesson. I’ll share my paraphrased version here:

When money is involved, the interaction between two people is about business. It is not about personal sacrifice or hurt feelings. It’s about a transaction.

His advice is incredibly eye-opening for me. The best part is, the more I apply it in our wedding planning, the more it sinks in! I mentioned before that our food and drinks take up 70% of our budget, so we need to cut costs everywhere else. I’m learning to state our needs (without feeling demanding), ask about costs (without feeling intrusive), and even do a teensy bit of negotiating. New illustration!

That is one tough cookie! (Source)

Following, you’ll find all of my new tips on how to be a ferosha-fierce negotiator! Just teasing. I just compiled some things I try to remember when working with wedding vendors, so that I stop being “personal sacrifice girl” and start finding my inner tough cookie!

1. Know my budget. And don’t apologize for it! I get comments about how big it is and about how small it is. Oh well, I say, oh well!
2. Do a ton of research on the vendor. And not just on their website. I’m surprised at how many vendor associations I find just by asking friends and family! Also, blogs of local photographers can give you an inside look at venues and vendors; so can online reviews. Lastly, I have a ton of wedding magazines, and I cut out ads for the vendors I’m considering. All of this helps me understand what we’re getting in exchange for the cost.
3. Ask about prices. Since many of the vendors I like don’t state their prices, I feel like I’m stepping on toes by asking. But I need to find out who can work with our budget and what they can provide.
4. Make that change! All of our contacts have been willing to change their packages. I’ve taken out intermezzo courses, specialty linens, and champagne toasts from catering packages to lower the price. I feel like it’s a hassle for the reception coordinators to send me a revised, personalized package (and for us to be different from their “standard wedding format”), but I also don’t want them to provide things we really don’t need.
5. Work with nice people. It’s easier to ask about off-season discounts when you know you won’t get a stink-face with their reply. The people we’ve signed contracts with have been very kind and professional, which makes it easier for us to trust them with our event!
6. Find a vendor that has an amazing deal going on! If it’s for a limited time, it’s worth asking if they’ll extend the special for us. Then I don’t need to negotiate a great deal––they’ve already offered it to the world! Ahhh, that’s totally the way to go.
7. Bring the fiance along. I went to a few meetings by myself and came away with absolutely no information about costs. I don’t have a habit of talking finances with people I’ve just met! When Mr. Parfait and I are together, we work off of each other to better understand the person’s (or company’s) style, price, and personality.

Wow, when I type it all out, it looks like a lot to remember! But it all boils down to creating the smoothest possible business transaction between two friendly parties. It helps that I’m not doing it alone, and that my teammate is my super-business-savvy fiance! With his help, I know we’ll find the sweet, fun, and, of course, budget-friendly vendors we need for our special day!

Are you comfortable discussing the financial aspect with your wedding vendors, or do you leave that to your fiance? What’s your advice on getting a good price for a not-so-assertive bride-to-be?