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Beehive Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006 About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
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Relationship Series: Personality Traits

October 7th, 2009 @ 4:24 pm by Beehive

Be sure to check out all the posts in our Relationship Series here!

~~~

What is the defining personality trait you thought your future spouse would possess? Does your actual spouse/fiance possess it?

Mrs. Mouse - I always thought I would marry someone who shared my love for literature. In the 5 and 1/2 years I’ve known the Dude, he has read maybe one book cover to cover. He’s more of an engineer/science type, while I’m liberal arts all the way. The good thing is, we always have a lot of things to explain to each other!

Mrs. Peep Toe - Honestly, I have no idea who I thought I’d marry. Maybe someone athletic who loves the ocean. Instead I got a self proclaimed geek, who grew up in the desert and loves movies and music. That said, Mr. Peep thought he’d marry someone much more artsy and creative. Needless to say, Mr. Peep hates all my music and only goes into the ocean under protest. Again, I think our differences are what make us a much more interesting couple.

Miss Lamb - I would say one of the things that I was really looking for was loyalty. But not just loyalty to me. The loyalty would be characteristic of the person’s faith and family/friend relations. My lamb lover is very loyal. He’s Lamboyal. I think our loyalty saw us through many difficult times when we were seperated by oceans, miles, and no communications. I believe it will help to see us through the rest of our lives as well!

Miss Star - I always knew that I wanted someone compassionate, loving, and who would be as committed to me as I am to him. Mr. Star is all that and more!

Mrs. Crab Cake - I’m not exactly sure what kind of person I thought I would marry. That’s a hard thing to describe. I joke with Mr. CC all the time that we would not have gotten along if we’d have gone to high school together. He was such a dork (but he was still cute). His dorkiness is still a big part of who he is, I just think he’s more comfortable in his own skin now. I wonder if he thinks I was a big dork in high school (I was… band nerd all the way!).

Mrs. Mary Jane - I always thought I’d marry someone who was really in to classic cars, “oldies” music and the style of the late ’60s. My mom thought this was silly - she always said I’d be best with a ” computer nerd”.

After a few relationship train wrecks with guys who fell at least somewhat in to my requirements/standards, I finally ended up with Mr. Mary Jane. He thinks classic cars are smelly, most old rock ‘n roll has too many guitar solos, and ’60s/’70s stuff is dated (and also, often smelly). And guess what: he’s a “computer nerd”. Lesson learned: moms are always right. (And nerds are sexy!)

Mrs. French Bulldog - I always thought I’d end up with someone who was funny, got along with everyone and loved movies as much as me. While Mr Frenchie is funny, his humor is much more subtle than I imagined. Mr Frenchie is also more of an introvert than I am. I do well with all the attention and he doesn’t and it works out well. :) I never thought I’d end up with “an old soul” but I can see now how wrong I was about what I thought I needed. Oh, and Mr Frenchie hates going to the movie theater, hahaha.

Mrs. Snow Pea - Humor! I’m a really serious person and I wanted someone who could shake up my life daily. Mr. Snow Pea is just that! He’s such a joker and makes me laugh every day!

Mrs. Cupcake - A sense of humor has always been incredibly important to me in relationships; Mr. C makes me laugh constantly, and we help each other find humor in even the most serious situations. Fights never last long in our house because we always end up laughing it off. I can’t imagine being with someone who takes life too seriously and doesn’t laugh enough. I definitely found myself a funny man.

Of course, humor is nothing without honesty, loyalty, and compassion, but I lucked out and got all of those in Mr. C. Oh, and I could never be with a man who doesn’t love The Beatles. Nope — just not possible.

Mrs. Penguin - I always wanted whoever I’d marry to be able to get along with everyone. Confrontation makes me extremely uncomfortable, and I do consider one of my weakest traits to be that I have a hard time getting along with people if I find some trait that I don’t like about them. I don’t think I could live with someone that was extremely opinionated about my friends and family, and I was definitely blessed with a husband that can get along with everyone. While he doesn’t like everyone, you’d never know that. Funny enough, my best friend Emily also possesses this trait, and it’s something I’ve always admired of her. She is able to treat everyone she knows, whether she likes them or not, with respect. It would be hard for you to tell who she actually likes and who she doesn’t, and my husband is very much the same. (On that same note, luckily for both of them, they are so easy going that they truly do like most people they meet!)

Miss Poodle - Most Chileans tend to not like woman that are independent, work or study more than they do, so I always knew I wanted a man who encouraged my achievements and would push me to reach my goals. I always knew that I needed someone supportive; I also knew I wanted someone that would share my sense of humor, or at least someone that would get it. Mr. Poodle not only hits all the points that were very important to me, but he knows how to make me smile when I’m having a bad day with just a few words. Isn’t that a great skill?

Mrs. Cherry Pie - I thought I would marry someone who was as much of a dreamer & idealist as I am. I dated someone like that for a while, and while we connected on a different level much more intimately than I can with Mr. CP, we also dragged each other down into depressive musings that ultimately isolated us from everyone else. Mr. CP is very much a sentimental idealist, but much more practical and down-to-earth than the type of person I thought I would end up with. As a result, I think we balance each other out much more easily, and can live in greater harmony with ourselves and others.

Mrs. Swan - Despite all of our differences, I actually think I married someone with many of the personality traits that jive with me. Mr. Swan is very focused, slightly Type A, hardworking, very generous, kind, open to new things and patient with me. He’s smart, yet he knows how to have fun and we can talk about anything. I feel very lucky. :)

Mrs. Bee - The defining trait that I knew my future husband had to possess is intelligence.  I’m obsessed with super smartness, and Mr. Bee is definitely one of the smartest people I’ve ever met!

Miss Parfait - I always wanted someone who was close to his family.  My family laughs together, cries together, and has way too much family pride!  I wanted someone who, like me, called his parents and siblings his best friends.  I love how close Mr. Parfait is to his family; and it gives me great comfort (and excitement!) to know we’ll naturally create that closeness in our future family!

~~~

What about you? Was there a personality trait you always thought your future spouse would possess? Does he/she actually have it?

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30 Responses to “Relationship Series: Personality Traits”

1.
Miss_Carmel
Member
Miss_Carmel (message)  317 posts, Helper bee

I love that some bees found the opposite of what they thought they wanted and some bees got exactly what they dreamt of.

I always dreamed that the man I married would be athletic, Irish and intelligent. I knew after our first date that he was the man I’d been waiting for, he is everything and way, way more. :)

 
2.
bree72
Member
bree72 (message)  368 posts, Helper bee

I always thought I’d end up with someone who was artsy, kind of geeky, and who was just as adventurous as I am. My husband is the complete opposite of that, and while I sometimes wish we had a little more in common, I adore what a “man’s man” he is and how his personality complements mine, instead of overshadowing or clashing with it.

 
3.
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Member
Mrs. Sparkle (message)  37 posts, Newbee

When I was 1

 
4.
ggsb
Member
ggsb (message)  842 posts, Busy bee

I think my hubs and I are polar opposites of what we were “looking for”, but I also think that is the very thing that makes us so great as a couple. I was looking for Mr. Personality, the life of the party, the center of attention (so I never had to be), the salesman type. Hubs was looking for a city girl with a passion for fine wine & arts. While we might be a smidgen of those things the differences actually make us stronger. He never wants to be the life of the party, but doesn’t mind attending it. While I’m a member of an art museum, I’m still from a tiny country town and crafty to the core. So I got a shy, intellectual…and he got an outgoing, educated country girl and we both think we are perfectly “matched”. ;)

 
5.
photoist
Member
photoist (message)  65 posts, Worker bee

Nice series!

I hoped that my future spouse would not be lazy and that he would have a good sense of humor. He hoped his future spouse would be athletic. Luckily I’m getting what I wanted. Him, not so much. Haha, jk. I’m SORT of athletic.

 
6.
tea
Member
tea (message)  2,656 posts, Sugar bee

wow, a little mix of both. i wanted someone i could feel safe with and trust and i definitely got that. of course, the universe finds it amusing to hook me up with someone who could care less about sports. but at least he’ll sit through a game with me!

 
7.
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Member
TexicanMexican (message)  28 posts, Newbee

I always knew that I would marry someone whose favorite Beatle is George.

George wasn’t showy, like Paul or John. He had a definite quirky sense of humor in the movies, but not goofy like Ringo. He was a talented songwriter who was overlooked. Oh, and dreamy, too.

After a quick test, I’ve confirmed that George is my fiance’s favorite. Hooray!

 
8.
LatteLove
Hostess
LatteLove (message)  4,120 posts, Honey bee

My two character traits were humor and intelligence. I’ve falled for guys with one of the other, but my hubby is the smartest and funniest guy I’ve know and it’s a perfect combo.

However, I was shocked to realized that I had fallen for a guy who dislikes sports and red meat…what?

 
9.
RecessionistaBride
Member
RecessionistaBride (message)  3,406 posts, Sugar bee

I always knew I’d marry someone older than me. I also wanted someone who was well educated, a go getter yet humble & sweet lol. I can’t express how thoughtful, funny, driven & loving my FI is… he’s more than I could have ever hoped for.

 
10.
nicrob007
Member
nicrob007 (message)  111 posts, Blushing bee

Just wanted to stop by and say how much I love this series idea!

 
11.
KMSull
Member
KMSull (message)  2,915 posts, Sugar bee

I always figured I would marry a business guy… and my boyfriend is so far from that it is not even FUNNY! Maybe a little funny, but still strange.

 
12.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Ramen (message)  261 posts, Helper bee

took me a while to think about this:
but i thought that i would marry some guy who had a crazy, outgoing, quirky personality, a little more dangerous and daring, and uber-manly (like roll around in the dirt kind of manly). Mr. Ramen is ALL-man, but he definitely has his sensitive-artist side too, is quiet, privately a little crazy, and really into being clean - although often predictable, I know I can always count on him and that he’s never going to leave me and will always faithfully cherish me. I love how dependable and responsible he is and how I can trust him.

 
13.
julesann
Member
julesann (message)  79 posts, Worker bee

I honestly never dreamt or imagined my wedding day……dress…guy…..no thoughts on any of it!

But I have to say….If I did imagine it…..this probably would NOT have been it! But it is perfect, none the less!

 
14.
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Member
CHK (message)  400 posts, Helper bee

I thought I’d end up with someone who loved to dance, be social and engaged in his community, and with be a pretty successful guy. FI is a lot of those things; wonderful at putting new people at ease around him, works for local government, lets me drag him around looking at old historic things,… but hates to dance. Want to guess what I’m asking for as a Christmas gift? dancing lessons!

 
15.
jmc
Member
jmc (message)  476 posts, Helper bee

Pengy, your reply was so interesting and thoughtful!

I always figured I would marry someone creative, and I will. (For a time I also thought it was possible I would marry someone the total opposite of me, like a type-A lawyer. But I am not.)

Also, I have to say: my fiance is a lot like my dad. But the funny thing is, it wasn’t until months into our relationship that I could see it. The similarities are not at all superficial, but the better I get to know him, the more obvious they are.

Anyone else marrying someone similar to their dad? Or mom?

 
16.
ColorCoated
Member
ColorCoated (message)  951 posts, Busy bee

I love this series, thanks again!

I always thought I’d marry someone artsy (I’m a graphic designer & went to art school), and FI is a musician. We’re not artsy in the same way, but I think since we’re both “creatives” we think in the same way which is super helpful :).

 
17.
Mrs. Penguin
Bee
Mrs. Penguin (message)  2,149 posts, Buzzing bee

@jmc: Haha aww, thanks! I remember my cousin asking me once when I first started dating Mr. Peng, “Do your parents like him?” I told her I wouldn’t ever date someone my parents didn’t like. Not ’cause I really wanted to please my parents, but more because discomfort and tension truly rips me apart. I’d rather be with someone pleasant than be with someone really passionate, but argumentative when it comes to differing opinions. It’s one thing to strike up a heated debate when it’s called for, but it’s another to be chilling at Thanksgiving and find yourself in the middle of a heated argument on the subject of the day. EEKKKKK!!!! Passionate people probably think that is truly sad that I think this way. But confrontation and discomfort truly make me want to curl up in a corner and die!

 
18.
alishaneva
Member
alishaneva (message)  1,531 posts, Bumble bee

Mrs. Mouse - EXACTLY! That’s all.

 
19.
mountain.bride
Member
mountain.bride (message)  195 posts, Blushing bee

I can’t believe I’m marrying someone who hates dancing and refuses to eat mushrooms!!! They are two of my favourite things in the world!!! Luckily he is great in lots of other ways :)

 
20.
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Member
lolo7835 (message)  61 posts, Worker bee

I just wanted someone who 1) didn’t mind being with a dorky smarty pants. I once dated someone who thought PBS was for ’sissies’ 2) someone who had a complimentary political belief system as mine and 3) someone who was just a nice person. Nice to waiters, nice to old ladies on the street, nice to random drunk people in bars-just nice, and not a jerk. I also thought he’d be a hipster or a athlete.

I ended up being with a fellow dork, who will talk about maps he’s seen on wikipedia for hours. He likes discovery channel even more than I do, and amazingly enough-where every other guy found my dorkdom to be annoying, he finds adorable. Plus, as a bonus, he doesn’t mind me dragging him to watch musicals, and he’ll sometime sing the songs home in the car. Score! :)

Now if only I could get him to wipe down the kitchen counter. :)

 
21.
ms.pascua
Member
ms.pascua (message)  198 posts, Blushing bee

First, I LOVE this series!

I remember a conversation with my best friend when we were 12…she knew she’d marry a man who would be dependable (emotionally & financially) & couldn’t picture life with anything else (she married a strong, sensitive, orthopedic surgeon). When she asked what I was looking for, I remember stating that I intended to be the dependable bread winner, so that anyone I ended up with could follow his dreams…I wanted to spend my life loving a “hero” - a man brave enough to dream big & follow through. And that’s exactly who I ended up with - a man who wants to make the world a better place…by producing inspiring movies.

 
22.
Lillindy
Hostess
Lillindy (message)  4,268 posts, Honey bee

@Mrs. Penguin: Oh poor Pengy, I know I can’t ever have you over my family’s house for a holiday, or even a family lunch sometimes…someone is always arguing about something! As I’m getting older, I’m realizing that people really just need to simmer down more, lol.

 
23.
Lillindy
Hostess
Lillindy (message)  4,268 posts, Honey bee

I’m loving this series! I always knew I wanted someone who was full of passion…passion for his family, friends, career, just life in general. I also wanted someone with a sense of humor because I love to laugh, and I’m happy to say I found that I found both of these traits in my hubby! He has so many other wonderful traits, though, and as I look over at him sleeping, my heart really swells with pride and happiness because he chose me to be his wife. :)

 
24.
iviary
Member
iviary (message)  179 posts, Blushing bee

I wanted to marry a musically talented (particularly in the genre of celtic music), redheaded, Scottish/Irish (with accent, please), funny, very intelligent nerd/dork.

I wound up with a redheaded, Scots-Irish descended (sans accent), funny, very intelligent (though not as much in the book-smarts way I imagined) software engineer. He apparently used to play trumpet really well, but I really don’t like the sound of the trumpet anyway. Maybe he can pick up the bagpipes sometime!

 
25.
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Guest
Mrs. Smith

For me I had only 2 serious requirements: 1. Must be smart, not street smart, intelligent and analytical. 2. Must be from NYC, live in NYC and be happy living here and be willing to live here for life. I have never dated anyone who varied from these two qualities. I’m a 5th generation new yorker and my husband is a 3rd generation new yorker and smarter than most. That’s all I need to be happy and fulfilled.

 
26.
pvaulter718
Member
pvaulter718 (message)  1,604 posts, Bumble bee

I always thought I would end up with someone who was quiet - mostly to balance out how loud I am. Not so much. My new husband might be louder and more outgoing than I am. And while it sometimes results in pure insanity in our house, I wouldn’t change it for the world!

 
27.
SpinningJenny
Member
SpinningJenny (message)  453 posts, Helper bee

I knew whoever I married would have to be smart and have a good sense of humor, aka able to appreciate the humor in weird things and be down with my pun-making ways. There is nothing more depressing, I think, than making an interesting point about a subject or (what you think is) a funny joke and have the person you’re interested in stare blankly at you in bewilderment or with scorn.

Mr Spin is super smart and has such a well developed sense of humor. As a result, my own sense of humor has developed to where I can laugh things off easier than before and see the humor or good intentions behind something that is superficially hurtful, which I think is really important. ^_^

 
28.
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Guest
Ella

I really love what Mrs. Cherry Pie said…I feel the same about my husband. Personally I think that the more you go along in marriage or any relationship the more you see that what you ‘like’ about someone also has its drawbacks — the same things that are their strengths are also their weaknesses.

 
29.
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Guest
CaitieCait

Penguin - I couldn’t have said that any better - i’m right there with your description 100% =)

 
30.
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Member
LittleWit (message)  51 posts, Worker bee

I always knew my parnter in crime would need to be a family person. I am very close to a lot of my family nuclear and extended and I needed someone who would be accepting of that. Lo and behold I ended up with a guy who is just as close knit with his family. Let’s just say we never go hungry around the holidays ;)

 


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