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Ms. Potato Chips, Boston/Narragansett RI Age and Occupation: 29, PhD Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Personal Trainer/Business Owner/Physical Therapy Assistant Engagement Date: January 1, 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: The Narragansett Towers About Me: A semi-professional bookworm, if I could be a literary character I’d be a cross between Jo March and Jane Eyre, only better accessorized and much lazier. My hobbies include sleeping in, seasonal brews, running, Trader Joe’s, and watching Unwrapped and Good Eats with Mr. Potato Chips. I harbor an irrational fear of tulle, crafts, things that are fussy, and overuse of the phrase "Your Special Day". After a year or seven together, down the aisle we go, slouching toward adulthood and planning a Rhodie party with equal parts whimsy, cheer, and pizza.
About Ms Potato Chips

Grumbling of the Brides

October 9th, 2009 @ 5:42 pm by Ms Potato Chips

After trying on 800 dresses and a hilarious ’80s-style montage, I’d just about given up and I was ready to call it a day and get some noodles already (Wagamama was just around the corner). Even MommaChips, shopping maven extraordinaire, was looking tired and weary. Weary and wary (she didn’t appreciate our hilarious ’80s-style montage).

But my friends (including my 6-months-preggo future sister-in-law) had just walked fifteen minutes to refresh the parking meter so I felt I owed it to them to go another round. Le sigh. The dresses were all so huge! So poufy! So shiny! So… not me. Even trying on dresses in earnest (i.e., of the non-pantsuit variety) made me feel like I was playing dress-up. I kept complaining, “I don’t think I like wedding dresses!”

Then, as fate would have it, a funny thing happened.

My friend handed me a dress, a wonderful dress! Lighter than air it was! Floaty and tiered and chiffon and magic and rainbows and stickers and ponies and butterflies!!! I tried it on, adjusted a few things, looked into the mirror. Smiled. Said, “hey…wait a minute…” Turned around and saw everyone else smiling, too.

I pulled down my sports bra straps and my mom fiddled with the top. It was… different. Lovely. Lovely enough to melt this sarcastic bride’s heart. I looked like I had stepped from the pages of the Great Gatsby. I channeled Daisy Buchanan. I pulled my glasses off, pulled my hair into a low bun, preened. Twirled.

In an instant, the skies cleared and what sprang to mind was our wedding day: fluffy peonies, whitewashed wood, salt air, blush and lime and ice cream cones.

420

Source

Yes, this dress fit the bill entirely.

But. In the corner, my mother frowned. Oh no. No. This was going to be SistahCrisp’s Senior Prom Dress again, wasn’t it? As in, my mother famously hated SistahCrisp’s senior prom dress (Ironically the dress, a long slinky black sheath, is the least dated of our fantastically ’90s prom dress collection), so much so that the sheer power of the Portuguese guilt made SistahC doubt and second-guess and my mother feel critical and then guilty and sorry until no one ended up happy. Although SistahCrispah wore the dress, we forever remember it as the One My Mom Hated. I mean, that’s the abridged version.

So I twirled and smiled and my friends smiled and my sister smiled and my mother frowned. “Well,” she said. “You have to love it.” And “Why don’t you try on a few more and come back to this one.” And “We can always go to some salons.” And “You don’t have to decide on anything right now.” You know, Mom-Guilt.

I took it off and put some more on, rinsed and repeated. I even tried calling Mr. Potato Head for more support and his opinion but he was in Vermont for the weekend with his friends, far from cell service and sobriety.

At this point I was thirsty and tired and my boobs hurt and my hair was frizzy and I was jonesing for noodles. In nooks everywhere we heard the sounds of brides finding their dresses and the ensuing clapping and cheering of their entourages. I gave it up for a day well-spent, a funny story. But my story, as it turns out, wasn’t over.

To be continued…

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34 Responses to “Grumbling of the Brides”

1.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Spaniel (message)  2,633 posts, Sugar bee

Dang these cliffhangers! I want to see dreeeeeessssesssss…! ;)

 
2.
ETwedding
Member
ETwedding (message)  104 posts, Blushing bee

Your posts always make me laugh and smile. I want to see a picture of the dress!!! I’m impatient. Bees are always (dress) teases!

 
3.
jmc
Member
jmc (message)  476 posts, Helper bee

No! This is making me tense.

 
4.
Miss_Carmel
Member
Miss_Carmel (message)  317 posts, Helper bee

Ooohhh! I’m excited to see which one you picked! :)

 
5.
Miss Burgundy
Hostess
Miss Burgundy (message)  907 posts, Busy bee

more! more! what happened? more!

 
6.
jordynrose
Member
jordynrose (message)  94 posts, Worker bee

If the power of Portuguese mom guilt is anything like the power of Italian mom guilt…I feel your pain sister!

 
7.
ColorCoated
Member
ColorCoated (message)  951 posts, Busy bee

Oh my goodness! Cliffhanger, much? Can’t wait to hear the rest of this story!

 
8.
tea
Member
tea (message)  2,656 posts, Sugar bee

you’re killing me with this cliffhangers chip!

 
9.
luckyyou
Member
luckyyou (message)  185 posts, Blushing bee

Oh that sounds exactly like my mother!! This is exactly what I went through… can’t wait to hear how it turned out!!

 
10.
Mrs. French Bulldog
Bee
Mrs. French Bulldog (message)  6,077 posts, Bee Keeper

BAH I wanna see the dress Missy!
My wedding dress wasn’t my mother’s favorite, but I got it b/c it was my favorite and she learned to love it… although I know she still wishes I had gotten “the other dress”.

 
11.
julesann
Member
julesann (message)  79 posts, Worker bee

Oooooh! Where’s the dress!!! I wanna see!!!! :)

I ended up buying a dress when my mom, gramma, and sis were with me…..cuz they all loved it. :) But I didn’t….It wasn’t me…..so I lost the down payment. If you love it….go for it. You will be the one wearing it……

But I have a feeling that you already did. ;) Good girl.

 
12.
Member Icon
Member
cbgg (message)  308 posts, Helper bee

Umm, I’m sorry. Is your mom my mom?

We have a famous family story that resulted in my sister calling her painters at midnight hysterically crying and begging them to NOT BUY THE PAINT! (As if they were at the paint store at midnight rather than in bed.) Because when my mom saw the paint my sister chose she said, “Hmmm. It’s yellow…”

And she’ll do it to me one day when I paint my house…ahh, gotta love an Italian mamma!

 
13.
Member Icon
Member
cbgg (message)  308 posts, Helper bee

For the record, the colour was not yellow at all. It was beige and it looked EXACTLY THE SAME and the other 15 beige colours splattered all over the walls.

 
14.
Jessie516
Hostess
Jessie516 (message)  4,039 posts, Honey bee

Oh no, not the MomGuilt. How do they all know how to do that? I can’t wait to see your dress on!

 
15.
RecessionistaBride
Member
RecessionistaBride (message)  3,407 posts, Sugar bee

WHAT!? You can’t leave us hanging like that… :)

 
16.
KMSull
Member
KMSull (message)  2,915 posts, Sugar bee

… WHAT?! A cliffhanger?! I don’t think I LIKE cliffhangers. But for real, “I don’t think I like wedding dresses!” is my favorite thing I’ve heard all day!

 
17.
lcneiny
Member
lcneiny (message)  170 posts, Blushing bee

AAAHHHH I’m dying to hear how it ends. And dying to see what the “dress” looks like!!

 
18.
Member Icon
Member
jbsgirl (message)  61 posts, Worker bee

Ha! This sounds very familiar to me. The same thing happened to me at the Running of the Brides. I fell in love with a dress from my dream designer….and my mom did not like it. She was like ‘Are you sure??’ ‘Don’t you want something with a little more - something?’ Well, I couldn’t turn down the dress and I got it against her wishes. Hope it doesn’t backfire on me :o)

Can’t wait to hear what happened with your story!

 
19.
Member Icon
Member
jhguba (message)  239 posts, Helper bee

Hate the mom-guilt! I soo know it’s coming when I go dress shopping, and I don’t even want to go there. She already brings things up just when I find a dress I like in a magazine or TV. Maybe I’ll just take my dad?

 
20.
Lillindy
Hostess
Lillindy (message)  4,268 posts, Honey bee

I feel ya on the Portuguese mom guilt, so I can’t wait to see what you got!

 
21.
mrspaetz
Member
mrspaetz (message)  1,707 posts, Bumble bee

can’t wait to see the dress! sorry to hear about the Mom Guilt :(

 
22.
realeastcoaster
Member
realeastcoaster (message)  476 posts, Helper bee

Love reading your posts - and can’t wait to see the dress!!!

 
23.
Bee Icon
Bee
Ms Potato Chips (message)  322 posts, Helper bee

@cbgg: And then don’t you feel a twinge of guilt when you complain about the Mom-Guilt?? I do, like “Oh I shouldn’t complain about MamaChips on the ‘Bee.” It’s a never-ending cycle of guilting and feeling guilty, bad bad bad!

 
24.
Bee Icon
Bee
Ms Potato Chips (message)  322 posts, Helper bee

@Lillindy: Right!? You know.
@jordynrose: I think Portuguese Mom Guilt and Italian Mom Guilt are first cousins.

 
25.
thefuturemrsjewell
Member
thefuturemrsjewell (message)  1,534 posts, Bumble bee

I can’t wait to hear what you ended up picking… what a cliffhanger!

and I am so jealous that you are in Boston and have Wagamamas!! When I lived in London for two years, I was an absolute addict! I still have dreams about noodles from there!! haha!!!

 
26.
alishaneva
Member
alishaneva (message)  1,531 posts, Bumble bee

oh! A cliffhanger!! Picture Picture Picture!! Mom guilt sucks. It’s true!

 
27.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Espresso (message)  1,064 posts, Bumble bee

My mom and I had different opinions on my wedding dress too. Oh Mom guilt :) I can’t wait to hear what happened!

 
28.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Moonbeam (message)  1,335 posts, Bumble bee

Oh, how I want to see the dress. And I’m right there with you on Mom guilt, it can be so brutal.

 
29.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Mouse (message)  3,348 posts, Sugar bee

Ooooh, teaser! I hope you ended up with this dress!

 
30.
fiftyfootbride
Member
fiftyfootbride (message)  3,800 posts, Honey bee

This is random, but I looooooove those bridesmaids dresses in that inspiration board! I wanted to use them, but I got vetoed because they were deemed ‘too casual.’ Bleh.

 
31.
FlipFlopBride
Member
FlipFlopBride (message)  1,305 posts, Bumble bee

I haven’t even tried on any dresses yet, but it seems like every inspiration I print out, my mom frowns. And just yesterday, my uncle (we’re very close) took my favorite out of the running by telling me I’d look like a bell with the poofy bottom. UGH! Not just mom guilt…but family guilt too!

Can’t wait to see what you ended up with!

 
32.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Parfait (message)  613 posts, Busy bee

Aww, I want to see that dress! The inspiration board is so lovely~~

 
33.
rachelpete
Member
rachelpete (message)  79 posts, Worker bee

Haha. pictures, please!!

I had Irish mom guilt - just as bad. I ended up settling for something she liked rather than what I liked, and I still regret it!

 
34.
Miss Poodle
Bee
Miss Poodle (message)  3,020 posts, Sugar bee

I. want. to. see!!
:)

 


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Ms Potato Chips
Ms Potato Chips Ms. Potato Chips, Boston/Narragansett RI Age and Occupation: 29, PhD Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Personal Trainer/Business Owner/Physical Therapy Assistant Engagement Date: January 1, 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: The Narragansett Towers About Me: A semi-professional bookworm, if I could be a literary character I’d be a cross between Jo March and Jane Eyre, only better accessorized and much lazier. My hobbies include sleeping in, seasonal brews, running, Trader Joe’s, and watching Unwrapped and Good Eats with Mr. Potato Chips. I harbor an irrational fear of tulle, crafts, things that are fussy, and overuse of the phrase "Your Special Day". After a year or seven together, down the aisle we go, slouching toward adulthood and planning a Rhodie party with equal parts whimsy, cheer, and pizza.
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