To Assign or Not to Assign

To Assign or Not to Assign

October 12th, 2009 @ 2:05 pm by Mrs. Frozen Yogurt
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So, I was dead set on not assigning tables for the wedding. It felt like a giant stressor so close to the end, and I just didn’t want to do that to myself. But then I read this post on the Weddingbee boards and I started to second guess myself. My problem with assigning tables is if people don’t come to the wedding that RSVPed, the people at that table might feel shunned. And what if people just ignore the assignments, anyway? And what if I can’t figure out who should sit together? OR worse, what if I forget to assign a seat to someone?

Now, I’ve been to weddings where seating is assigned and weddings where it isn’t. I’ve never felt like I was scrambling when it wasn’t assigned, nor did I feel like I had to “mark” my table. I’m just so torn.

On a positive note, there are so many adorable ways to personalize the name cards and table numbers. I did feel sad at one point that I wouldn’t be taking on that task. Here are some ideas that I love:

To Assign or Not to Assign : wedding placecards stationery 16 escortcardboard

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To Assign or Not to Assign : wedding placecards stationery 24 wa101753_sum06_lavendersc_xl

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To Assign or Not to Assign : wedding placecards stationery 32 mwa102833_spr07_drawing_xl

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To Assign or Not to Assign : wedding placecards stationery 41 msw_su_06_eyelet_card_xl

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To Assign or Not to Assign : wedding placecards stationery 51 a99241_spr02_slkflwrs_xl

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Yes, they are gorgeous, but is it worth it? Should I take on this task? What do you think hive? What’s been your experience with and without assigning tables?

Tags: placecards, stationery |

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54 Responses to “To Assign or Not to Assign”

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Guest

Littlebug

Assign tables!! It makes everything easier for your guests.I am too shy to make friends easily, and it’s awkward to sit at a table with strangers. I went to quite a few weddings this past summer, and I was so glad to have my table given to me. Guaranteed seats! To me, it’s worth the extra time for your guests’ comfort.

10/12/09 @ 2:13 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Joey (message) 1,031 posts, Bumble bee

If I had to do it again, I wouldn’t assign tables. We had a lot of no shows which left almost 2 tables in the middle of the space completely empty. If we didn’t assign seats, we wouldn’t have had empty tables.

10/12/09 @ 2:15 pm (reply)

Member

minneapolitan (message) 740 posts, Busy bee

The weddings I’ve been to without assigned tables totally stressed me out. I didn’t know many people, felt like I was scrambling to find a seat, and then there are weird gabs everywhere.

When a table is assigned for me, I really appreciate it. But I do think it depends on the size of your group and what they’re all used to. We’re definitely assigning tables.

10/12/09 @ 2:19 pm (reply)

Guest

Sara

I’m right there with you on NOT assigning seatings. I think I’ll reserve some tables for the wedding party, and then just make everything else up for grabs. I guess you have to consider your guest list. Most, if not all, of our guest will know someone else at the wedding and will likely seek them out to sit with. If you’re inviting a lot of people who won’t know anyone but you or the groom, Littlebug has a point.

10/12/09 @ 2:21 pm (reply)

Member

CorgiTales (message) 9,901 posts, Buzzing Beekeeper

I agree that it really depends on your group and how well everyone knows everybody else. I prefer assigned seating because I feel like its awkward otherwise. You might end up stuck at a table with people you don’t know at all, or you might feel badly if you find a table first then see someone you know well doesn’t have a seat they’re comfortable in and your table is full. I just find it really stressful.

But, if you’re confident that everyone knows everyone else well enough that it won’t be an issue… use your best judgment.

10/12/09 @ 2:25 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Deviled Egg (message) 1,250 posts, Bumble bee

I like assigned tables because I like to feel like someone took the time to seat me with people who I might have something in common. At one wedding I went to where there was not assigned seating, I felt totally awkward. We didn’t know anyone outside of the bride and groom. We ended up sitting with the bride’s family (aunts and cousins). It was weird because we didn’t know who they were and felt bad that we realized we were at a family table. I don’t think they appreciated us being there, either.

I think having assigned tables will also help to ensure you won’t have one seat open at one table, one open at another, and a couple who can’t find two seats together.

10/12/09 @ 2:25 pm (reply)

Member

ChiDIY (message) 184 posts, Blushing bee

Due to the nature of our venue, assigned seating just wont work. I am a little stressed out about this, but hopefully 2 reserved tables for families and one for us will alleviate some of the “family awkwardness”… I dont know, I guess we will just see how it goes.

10/12/09 @ 2:28 pm (reply)

Guest

Gillian

I went to a wedding last fall of my boyfriend’s coworker. The tables were assigned, but we must have missed the board indicating that they were, and just plopped ourselves down anywhere. After a while all of the other tables started to fill up, while ours remained woefully empty. At some point during dinner their DOC bustled over to see why we were sitting alone at our table, and started reading off the names of people who were supposed to be seated there. Not only had we somehow managed to sit down at the table we were originally assigned to, but all of the empty chairs belonged to other coworkers who had RSVPed and not bothered to show up!

We felt a little weird to be sitting alone at a table for ten, but we still enjoyed ourselves and once the dancing started we weren’t sitting down anyway. In the end I’d rather be assigned next to people I’d at least met, than left to fend for myself in a sea of tables with people I’d never seen before!

10/12/09 @ 2:28 pm (reply)

Member

flamingred (message) 1,953 posts, Buzzing bee

I’ve never been to a wedding without seating arrangements…I think that would be really weird.

10/12/09 @ 2:29 pm (reply)

10.

Member

honeybun (message) 1,783 posts, Buzzing bee

I’ve never been to a wedding that had assigned seating, and I’ve been in and to a lot of weddings! What are the chances? haha There have never been any problems though.

10/12/09 @ 2:30 pm (reply)

11.

Member

texasmeredith (message) 2,130 posts, Buzzing bee

I’m a huge fan of assigning tables.

I don’t like being the wedding guest that doesn’t know that many people and gets stuck at a table with older guests or kids or a family or whatever. And if I know lots of people (especially if I haven’t seen some of them in a while) I want to sit with my friends and I hate scrambling to find a table that will seat all of us. Its just awkward all the way around.

10/12/09 @ 2:31 pm (reply)

12.

Member

pvaulter718 (message) 2,116 posts, Buzzing bee

I have never attended a wedding where seating wasn’t assigned, but that being said, there never have really been issues with who we sat with. I appreciated the fact that even though we didn’t arrive with some of the other couples we know, we were able to sit with them since our tables were already assigned.

10/12/09 @ 2:33 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Mrs. Mouse (message) 5,821 posts, Bee Keeper

I didn’t assign tables and it was totally right for my wedding. I think there are definitely regional/cultural norms when it comes to assigned seating. I’ve only been to maybe one wedding with assigned seating. We wanted our wedding to have laid-back vibe, and not assigning seats contributed to that. People sat where they wanted to sit, and it worked out great for us!

10/12/09 @ 2:35 pm (reply)

14.

Member

tea (message) 7,278 posts, Busy Beekeeper

depends on the group. most of the weddings i’ve been to didn’t assign tables and i was fine. the only time it’s been a problem was when there seemed to be more people than tables [i think because folks didn't rsvp like they were supposed to].

i’m thinking about assigning tables since there are going to be a lot of people who don’t know each other so i’d rather help group people off.

10/12/09 @ 2:37 pm (reply)

15.

Member

jmc (message) 882 posts, Busy bee

I prefer to be assigned, so I don’t have to worry about marking my table (which reminds me of my dog, heh). But either way, I usually only sit at my table for 20 minutes while I am eating anyway. I think that the importance of seating arrangements are a bit inflated, at least for weddings where there is not a long, multi-course dinner.

10/12/09 @ 2:40 pm (reply)

16.

Guest

emariel

I went to a wedding with no assigned seating and it was SO AWKWARD. I never gave a thought about it before then- who cares, I thought. Wrong.

Some people get there sooner and there are odd numbers of seats left available and people wind up getting split up. In our case, we sat with people we didn’t know…which is fine, except we had traveled to see my family, and then didn’t get to sit with them because the tables filled up so quickly.

I say assign seats. If people want to switch or move, they will.

10/12/09 @ 2:43 pm (reply)

17.

Member

amariem25 (message) 3,753 posts, Honey bee

i appreciate assigned seating. I don’t like the weddings without it. You never know if you are sitting too close, you have to try to reserve a spot for you and your date all night, etc. It’s just too much work for your guests if the seats aren’t assigned.

10/12/09 @ 2:53 pm (reply)

18.

Member

completelyrandomsally (message) 618 posts, Busy bee

We were just going to assign seats to our families and wedding party (we are doing a sweetheart table), but now I’m not sure.

Sigh.

10/12/09 @ 2:55 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Ms Potato Chips (message) 1,193 posts, Bumble bee

I’m going to assign tables (but not seating) so that we can position the oldies away from the speakers, and my friends close to the bar, etc. Yeah it’ll be a PITA, but hopefully worth it.
On the other hand, we might end up going with two long tables, which could complicate seating. But that’s another headache for another day.

10/12/09 @ 2:55 pm (reply)

20.

Bee

Mrs. Penguin (message) 3,530 posts, Sugar bee

As a guest I feel less stressed when the tables are assigned. There is definitely software out there that makes the process relatively stress free. I think it took me less than an hour to do with Perfect Table Plan.

Like emariel mentioned, it’s frustrating when you’ve traveled from very far to attend a wedding, only to get split up from your friends or family because of random seating. It’s not that you’re necessarily upset meeting new people, it’s just that you’re probably attending the wedding with friends that you don’t see very often, and it’s nice to spend that few hours in time with them.

10/12/09 @ 3:01 pm (reply)

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