Wedding Blog
So the other day I was at Central Market (comparable to Whole Foods, sorta, for you non-Texas girls) and I was planning on just grabbing some lunch, but then as I walked through the aisles I was tempted by all sorts of glorious, organic food and I just couldn’t help myself (I swear this is relevant to the story). So as I’m juggling my salad, raspberries, wine for later, and some delicious cheese, I stop at the drink section to try and pile on some sparkling water. And then I see this guy approaching me.
I think, ‘oh how nice, he’s going to offer to help me grab some water.’ But then he starts talking to me… like, a lot:
Him: How are you?
Me: Um… ok (still juggling groceries, regretting not picking up one of those baskets on the way in).
Him: Are you having a good day?
Me: Um, yeah. I’m just trying to get some lunch (and now I’m starting to think, is he…hitting on me?). So I try to finagle my ring out from underneath my groceries to flash it at him. I cough and cover my mouth, casually brush my hair out of my face (oh crap, that could be seen as flirting? I went back to coughing while trying not to drop groceries). But he does not seem to notice. Now I’m really regretting not picking up a basket.
Him: (After a few other random questions he jumps right in) Are you single?
Me: Oh, no sorry, I’m engaged (showing the ring one last time).
Him: Consider it a compliment.
Okay, so he was nice, and it ended up fine, but do people not look for the ring on the left hand anymore? Or am I the only weirdo that does this? Or worse, do they see it and not care?
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Share this post: The Left Hand Scan
Year before I was engaged I always did the left hand check! My Bestie would be like, “Oh, he’s cute!” and I’d be all, “Um, he’s married dear.” I ALWAYS looked!
Hey, Miss FroYo, you’ve still got it 
I always look at the hand. On everyone. I’m just that curious I guess. I’m sure most guys don’t notice. They’re like that.
Guys don’t check. Until we got engaged, my husband didn’t even know which hand wedding rings belonged on!
I never looked before I was engaged, but now that I am I find myself checking out everyone’s left hand to see what’s what.
hahaha! I don’t think they look, creepy guys hit on me at work all the time, and they are sitting right in front of me while I type, so they can clearly see my hand.. always akward!
I had a right hand ring I used to wear that looked like a classic diamond solitaire (it was CZ) and on our first date, my fiance noticed and this went through his head:
OH NO she’s engaged? Why did she agree to meet… OHHH it’s on the wrong hand!
Which I thought was hysterical because most guys saw the sparkled and just assumed it was an engagement ring. Loved that he was clever enough to figure out it was on the wrong finger!
Agh, I hate creepshow guys like that. Some take the engagement ring as a challenge, which is even WORSE!
hahaha miss froyo, i do that “hair sweep out of eyes” thing too!! and when i’m walking around campus (university of maryland—go terps!) i always hold my cell phone to my ear with my left hand so those horny college boys dont oogle me it doesn’t work tho.
i think women are more likely to look for a ring on a guy bc they are more “marriage” minded?
That happened a couple times to me too, and I asked some of my guy friends about it. They said that if you look young (I’m 23) a lot of guys will assume you’re just wearing your grandmother’s ring or something.
*shrug* That was the guys’ take on it anyways! So yeah… take it as a compliment, haha!
@littlelynx, i’m 23 too…maybe that’s what it is. that and the pink north face backpack i wear like a dork to class.
sick as it sounds, i think i will miss getting hit on when it slows down…not that i would ever respond! but you know, the attention is kinda nice 
poor fiance.
lily_dsm: that is sooo true! My fiance did not even know which hand it was supposed to go on. I agree that women check the left hand way more than men do.
I wonder the same thing. I think people see the ring and don’t care, or they see the ring and they think other things. I was the hospital Monday night and they kept asking over and over again if there was any way I could be pregnant. NO (we are waiting). But just because I have a ring on my hand DOES NOT mean my man and I have sex. I think some guys just don’t care, they don’t care that you have a ring, that doesn’t some people sometimes.
The sad thing is I think they see and they don’t care. Creepy.
1. Your food descriptions made me hungry!
2. I don’t think guys do the scan at all.
I never checked until I got engaged and I don’t think guys think to look at allllll. At least not in my experience!
I’ve always looked, but I asked my husband and he looked at me like I was crazy. He says that he never notices if anyone is married.
I never thought about rings until I got engaged so maybe unengaged people just don’t know about it :).
I think there’s probably more social pressure for women to be in relationships, so they’re generally more aware of the ring. I never noticed on men or women until I was engaged, and then it mostly became an awareness of how common sparkly diamond-looking engagement rings were as I handed change to customers at work.
But in my experience, women are also a lot more likely to tell a stranger about their boyfriend/fiance/husband immediately than men are. And that’s not to say anything about their level of dedication to the relationship.
*sigh* unfortunately the era of when men looked at the left hand is over much to my FH’s disbelief. I could scatch a guy in the eye with my ring and he would just go, “ow, you want to sit down with me for a drink?”
They see it and don’t care. My friend has a large ring that you would have to be blind not to notice. She still has guys hitting on her at bars. Unfortunately, she notices rings on most of them.
Haha….what a great story! I’d definitely take it as a compliment, but doesnt this man have any manners?? Even if you WERE single, you would have sent him running for not offering to help! haha
I swear, guys totally don’t care anymore! I’ve done the same exact thing, been hit on and tried to flash my ring so they’d get the point, but it doesn’t seem to work. I even have a (rather crass) guy friend who has said “I DO notice when a girl has a ring on, but that doesn’t stop me, it means no strings!” As in, he thinks she’ll have a one nighter with him and he won’t have to get sucked into a relationship. Ugh, guys!
omg, I do that ALL. THE. TIME. Whenever some guy starts trying to talk to me, I try to make the sparkle on my left hand as OBVIOUS as possible. Sometimes people get it, but other times I’m like.. “hellooo?! Are you BLIND!? I’m not interested!”
I do notice, but I also notice quite a few women wearing rings on that finger, and they aren’t always engagement rings (even my friends have done it, although I don’t know why on that finger), so I can see why guys would disregard one if they saw it. You could think it’s fashionable or it could have been sentimental. I think it’s different for guys because they ordinarily wouldn’t be wearing rings.
I scan, but Mr.D never notices it when I say something about it. I don’t think guys notice as much.
I do this all the time! I even look to see if people are married in fictional situations… like commercials on TV! I mentioned it to my boyfriend, who had never even thought to look before. Now he does it too.
I just had this conversation with my Fi and his friends & yes they all do the ring check. It’s the first thing they look for.
I’m always looking, but I think it’s the guys that just don’t care anymore.
I think it depends on the guy, but I know my brother never checked until he starting being serious with his girlfriend. He and his boys always waited for the girl to drop the ‘b-bomb’ as they called it. If it wasn’t dropped within the first 10 minutes of a conversation, they assumed the girl was fair game.
Me? Since I was about 25 I checked out to see if he was hot, and then right at the hand. Which is why I think guys need to wear some kind of engagement ring.
So weird!! That exact thing has happened to me at the grocery store!!
I always look… always have. I can’t believe how many MORE guys are hitting on me with the ring! So weird… (but honestly, they usually aren’t even looking at my face! UGH pigs… hahaha) Anyone else notice more attention after you have the ring on your finger?
Too funny! I seem to only see old people and mommies at the CM here in Houston.
I guess girls wear a lot of rings and jewelry so maybe some guys dont know any more. But my engagement ring is the only ring I wear, esp because I work around a lot of guys and truck drivers who come in for paper work that i take care of…and some truck drivers are nasty and rude! So I make sure its noticed and that its the only ring I wear. And I will tell you as soon as it got on my finger they noticed! “Oh congrats you’re engaged!” Its a funny story to tell what happened to you…and the fact that he was asking if you were single but not trying to help you…he could have at least got you a basket!
“Here’s a basket for you, are you single?” “Nope Im engaged, but thanks for the basket!”
I think the guys are too oblivious…unless it’s in view if the chest area, they will never see it.
I think it depends partially on age, but I agree with a lot of ladies here; guys don’t really check! Some drunk youngin’ was trying to dance with me at the bar the other weekend (my fiance and my friend’s husband were at our table purse watching), and I kept thrusting my hand in his face while he tried to dance with me. Finally his friend yelled “SHE’S ENGAGED BUDDY! SHE’S NOT INTERESTED!” Haha.
I think they’re clueless. Personally i used to wear a gold band when i waited tables to keep away the creepies if i chose to. Most asked if i was single anyways, knowing that this is what lots of women do. i’m very very obvious about “i’m married” now when i get the creepers coming up to me in super random places. Or, i rock the sunglasses and act too good to talk =]
Now that I’m engaged I check all the time! lol. That’s funny he told you to take it as a compliment! lol.
I’ve always looked on both on men and women’s hands. I haven’t been out that much since getting engaged but so far no one’s approached me. I wonder if guys view an engaged woman as a challenge.
I always look and always have — even when I was little. It fascinated me that there was jewelry you never took off! But guys never check. One of my male friends didn’t even notice my ring until weeks later, even though he’s married and knew I was engaged!
I’m very conscious of this too! It sucks when I’m working as a stagehand, though, because I don’t wear my rings to those calls. I’m usually handling heavy equipment and lots of hard work with my hands and I don’t want my rings to get damaged or even lost in the mix! So I have to deal with a lot of roadies (and even a few local guys!) hitting on me.
I’m convinced that most guys do not pay attention or notice whether you have a ring on your finger!
i don’t think guys notice!
that said, last week a woman gave my husband, who was wearing his wedding band, her number and said he should call her some time.
he pointed at his ring and said ‘thanks, but sorry’.
Haha. My fiance *still* doesn’t know which hand the ring goes on. Clearly he has never done the left hand check. We’re going to have to practice, so that he remembers to put my wedding ring on the correct hand during our ceremony!!
@skibobrown: My FI was the same way… he was worried he couldn’t wear his wedding band b/c he’d broken his right hand pinky when he was younger & if anything touches it he freaks. lol he was convinced the wedding ring went on the right…
Yeah, guys don’t check or even know unless they’re married!! I always get the passive-aggressive guys at the grocery store “So uh, you’re probably seeing someone, right?” lol
I think most men don’t look. A lot of them don’t care when it comes to attraction.
On the other hand, FI and I recently met another couple and I mentioned to him later that I don’t think they were married because neither had a ring on. FI said he didn’t bother to look. Maybe it’s just not something that occurs to boys.
I get the creepy guys stopped next to me at stoplights or in traffic. So I try to make it look like I’m singing with my left hand or something… but then I look crazy and that probably does the trick too
lol. sometimes they don’t care. i’m not engaged but i do tell certain people i am and i get “well, if it doesn’t work out, give me a call.”
AS IF.
when I got engaged is till got hit on but I felt differently about talking to guys and felt like it was being unfaithful so I would immediately say Im engaged or somehow insert my wedding in the talk they would back it was funny and alarming at the same time made me feel like i was diseased somehow haha but it did the trick amazing
Love that one! It just means you are glowing nowadays and guys are still falling for you.
I don’t think guys pay attention to it at all! Not so much because they don’t care, but because they’re just oblivious! I always used to check though, no sense wasting my flirting on a married man!
I don’t think guys or girls notice until they are engaged. Then you notice everyone that is….or isn’t married!
I don’t get hit on much, I think mostly because I look about 8 years younger than I really am.
I had no idea what hand the engagement/wedding ring went on before I started looking at engagement rings, so I don’t expect most guys to know either. Or old women working at Macy’s. Seriously. I was paying for some bras with my new Macy’s credit card over the weekend and the lady says to my mom, “Teaching your daughter about credit?” My mom goes … “She’s 24, she’s getting married in a few months.” The lady goes, “Oh my gosh, I thought she was 16!” Yes, 16, with an engagement ring. To be fair, I was wearing my pink happy bunny sweater.
i think it’s funny how oblivious some people are about this. One of my single girlfriends actually was telling me yesterday how she wishes that there was a e-ring equivalent for guys, cause unless they are married and wearing a ring, you can never tell if they are taken… so she always ends up approaching already taken guys!
I’ve totally tried to do the “ring flash”. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t — but I don’t think guys check as much as girls do. I wish they did — it would make it much less awkward!
Oh that’s a funny story! I don’t think most men register ring-on-left-ring-finger as “taken”. To them it’s all just decoration.
Ugh, I’ve noticed alot of men doing the scan recently (mostly because there *should* be something on that finger… AHEM!) and while I appreciate the effort, working with the public means you get the creepers and scum! That being said, when I think a guy is cute, I’ll check the hand just because I’m curious.
I (used to) totally do the left hand scan. Some guys are completely oblivious. Just last night a guy warned me that a ring I wore on my left hand looks like an e-ring. Um…it was a sterling silver ring with 3 intertwined silver hearts (looks nothing like a diamond) on my INDEX finger. hahaha.
sure that wasn’t a run in with Dimitri? I’ve always done the left-hand scan … seriously … some people think it doesn’t count for anything (did you notice - he may have had a ring there,too).
As silly as it sounds I want to say it depends on age and marriage knowledge! Before the proposal I couldnt even tell you what finger the ring went on (no seriously) I was that clueless! But i also think that early to mid 20’s dont look at the fingers. Also lately(now that I look at hands) I see women wearing rings on there ring finger on both hands, women that ARE NOT ENGAGED! I tend to get a little angred by this because my ring means so much to me and to them it is just fashion! Mind you these are again the early 20’s ladies! So I dont know maybe its the new trend instead of assuming just ask?!
I NEVER did the left hand check until i got engaged. now I obsessively (and probably creepily) crane to see the bling on the ring finger!
I’ve definitely gotten hit on since getting the ring. Possibly more often than before!
It’s even more shocking the people that see the ring and don’t really care. They keep pursuing. Like you’re not really off the market until there is a wedding band.
I’m a notorious left-hand checker. And I haven’t gotten hit on ONCE since I got a ring on mine! (Kinda lame, now that I think about it!!)
[...] The Left Hand Scan by Miss Frozen Yogurt [...]
Recently one of our friends caught a glimpse of my class ring and then he went “Oh! I thought that was kind of a funny engagement ring.” Says I, “Kind of a funny hand for it, too.” This was a veritable revelation to all 5 guys who were present.
I don’t consciously scan. If I DO notice that someone is wearing a ring (for example, if I’m looking at their hands for some other reason — they’re gesturing, or they’re handing me a card/cash for a transaction), I try to figure out what hand it’s on, but that takes me a while! Plus, there’s the whole European tradition of having the engagement ring on the right hand, and a lot of people are wearing rings on that finger who aren’t even engaged (my sister does, and she isn’t even dating; and before he’d even met me, my now-fiance wore a spinner band on his left ring finger).
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Miss Frozen Yogurt, Dallas
Age and Occupation: 28, Special Projects Coordinator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Equity Trader
Engagement Date: March 19, 2009
Wedding Date: April 2010
Venue: Marie Gabrielle, Dallas
About Me: I was born and raised in Texas, and have lived in several of the cities across the state, but I currently reside in Austin. I went to college in Boston and have a special place in my heart for the Northeast. I love reading, shopping, wine, reuniting with college friends that are scattered across the country, reality TV, trying out new recipes, and attempting all the DIY projects that come along with wedding planning. I'm a "bleeding heart, save the world type" and thankfully my job allows me to work on legislation and policy to help out those in need. I met Mr. Frozen Yogurt in a bar, though he doesn't even drink! And now we are planning a modern yet vintage wedding in Dallas while dealing with the trials and tribulations of first time homeownership.
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