What’s the Big Deal About a Name Anyway?

What’s the Big Deal About a Name Anyway?

October 15th, 2009 @ 3:44 pm by Mrs. Cloud
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I always assumed I would change my name when I got married. It was a pretty simple idea—in theory, of course. But the thing is I fell in love with Mr. Cloud, who instead of having a simple and easy to pronounce last name like my maiden name, has a difficult last name that is not only very often mispronounced and misspelled, but if you say it quick enough, it sounds like a bodily function (trust me and use your imagination on this one, it’s not so good). I could already see my future children being teased to tears on the playground.

I had a few big factors to consider when deciding if I would go ahead and embrace the new name or not. First, my heart broke a little to think that if I did change my name, in a way I would no longer be me. I felt like giving up my maiden name would be giving up who I have been for the past 25 years, and letting go of a piece of my family. A family that is not only large and in charge, but whom I am also very, very close to. I know deep down my name doesn’t really change who I am, but still it was bothering me. I’m connected to my last name, and my initials. I wasn’t really sure I could let them go.

The second thing to consider is that Mr. Cloud’s last name isn’t just something he was born with, it was something he also chose.

When the Mr. was five, FMIL Cloud married his stepfather, FFIL Cloud. Then, while Mr. Cloud was in high school, his stepfather, who is the only dad he has ever known, was finally able to officially adopt both him and FSIL Cloud. Both Mr. Cloud and his sister decided they wanted to change their last names to FFIL Cloud’s. If a sixteen year old Mr. Cloud can let go of a very common last name to take on one that means so much, how can I now say I don’t like it enough to do the same?

Call me old fashioned, but I also had this other little fact gnawing in the back of my mind. Remember those imaginary future kids who I am so worried about being teased? I want them to have the same name as me and Mr. Cloud. And since Mr. Cloud was not willing to make another name change on his part and take my maiden name (because you know I asked!) the only way it’s going to happen is if I embrace the change on my end. Can you see where this is going?

I’m giving in and taking my future hubby’s last name. Thanks to my maid of honor wanting to buy me something with my new monogram on it months ago and forcing me into a decision, I’ve even had some time to get used to the idea. And in an effort to get to the embracing stage (and of course, add another unneeded craft to my list) I decided to make chair signs for our seats at the reception. It’s funny how a little crafting can make it all seem so official!

What’s the Big Deal About a Name Anyway? : wedding decor diy stationery Chair Sign Thumb1 chair sign_thumb[1]

Imagine these on beautiful black chivari chairs instead of my dining room table set which has also now been taken over with wedding crap. And again, sorry about the scribbles: gotta keep the stalkers away, ya know?

Did you have a name change dilemma or was it an obvious choice?

Tags: decor, diy, stationery |

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44 Responses to “What’s the Big Deal About a Name Anyway?”

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Bee

Miss Scissors (message) 7,343 posts, Busy Beekeeper

My name change will be difficult. His name is gorgeous, but is three different words and people hardly ever pronounce it right. (Which is beyond me, because it was never a problem, I thought). I’ll be going from a really easy last name to a really complicated french last name, but I don’t think I’d do it any other way. Plus, my “new” initials are already engraved on my engagement ring. :p

10/15/09 @ 3:50 pm (reply)

Guest

May Bride

I’m in the same boat fifty. My maiden was super easy and short. My new last name is 3 words, with a hyphen! The hyphen isn’t because of his parents or his mom, it just is. So now I have a long Brasilian last name that makes opening a tab at a bar not as easy as before! I do feel sad sometimes… but I love being connected so much to my hubby and making it easier for our future kids.

10/15/09 @ 3:54 pm (reply)

Member

ChiDIY (message) 184 posts, Blushing bee

You know, honestly…. I am not wild about his last name. But I’m not wild about mine, either. I wish we could just make one up!! In the end, I’ll take his (though he offered to take mine) because its tradition. and without our traditions, our lives would be as shaky as a fiddler on the roof.

anyone? anyone?… I cant be the only theatre degree-holder out here.

10/15/09 @ 3:59 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Gloss (message) 1,222 posts, Bumble bee

I’m taking his last name, because it’s not ‘his’ anymore, it’s ‘ours’….and thats awesome.

10/15/09 @ 4:06 pm (reply)

Member

DesignerBee (message) 103 posts, Blushing bee

My name is short but somehow difficult for people. Its not hard but people are forever adding letters or just changing them altogether.

His name is longer and difficult. Again not that hard but people love to drop one of the letters.

In the end I’m going with his (keeping mine in the middle) for all the standard reasons and I’ll just have to be patient with the misspellings.

10/15/09 @ 4:07 pm (reply)

Member

KellyV (message) 2,523 posts, Sugar bee

Its a hard decision for me - and Im already married. I have a long Italian last name. And thats my only tie to my 100% heritage (my mom for some god unknon reason changed her mind on my original italian first name.) Id be taking a short German name. Our marriage certificate says I changed it, but Im having a serious identity crisis with doing so. Ive decided to go ahead and change it personally, but Im keeping my maiden name professionally. I am known around my field by my name, I dont want ot change it.

10/15/09 @ 4:08 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Scissors (message) 7,343 posts, Busy Beekeeper

@Mrs. Gloss: Aww, that’s a beautiful way to think about it.

10/15/09 @ 4:09 pm (reply)

Member

jaylii9 (message) 1,575 posts, Bumble bee

I am changing my last name. I think I am pretty comfortable with it at this point, but it was hard for me to accept for awhile.

The pros are that FI and I will have the same last name. Also, I will take his 5 letter last name which will be a lot shorter and easier to spell/ pronounce…

The sadness is that I have a long, weird, really German last name, but hey, it’s who I am and I love it. It also ties me to a family that I am very close to.

I mostly wish I had more options such as hyphenating, but I don’t because of the length of my name. I also considered making my last name a second last middle name, but my Dad pointed out that my middle name initials would be “LD” which in the educational professional’s world is learning disabled. So that’s not going to work either.

10/15/09 @ 4:16 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Mouse (message) 5,821 posts, Bee Keeper

My choice to keep my last name was made fairly easily. But honestly, and I never expected this to happen, sometimes I get a little sad that I didn’t take the Dude’s last name.

10/15/09 @ 4:24 pm (reply)

10.

Member

kmattso2 (message) 1,046 posts, Bumble bee

For me it’s a totally obvious choice, I knew since I was little that I would be taking my future husband’s name…whoever it might be. And my opinion hasn’t changed since then.

10/15/09 @ 4:29 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Mrs. Taffy (message) 3,105 posts, Sugar bee

I still haven’t decided whether I will hyphenate or take his name, and we were married four and a half months ago! To make matters worse, I’m in the process of applying for an international work visa, so it looks like I’ll be keeping my maiden name for quite a while. eep!

10/15/09 @ 4:29 pm (reply)

12.

Member

nhlchick4 (message) 258 posts, Helper bee

My last name is pretty complex (theres a ski @ the end) and his is short, simple and easy to spell. I actually got a call from my dad last night about his travel arrangements ect and as I hung up the phone after exchanging some polish love, it hit me, I’m the last one with my last name on my side. It made me a little sad and has made me stop and think about changing it a little.

10/15/09 @ 4:30 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Ms Potato Chips (message) 1,193 posts, Bumble bee

We’re both keeping our names. It never crossed my mind to change it, honestly.

10/15/09 @ 4:34 pm (reply)

14.

Guest

Emily

Just a note on the whole “making it easier for the kids” thing: people cite this a lot as a reason to change their names, but in my experience having parents with different names is no big deal. I was raised in a VERY small and VERY traditional town, and my parents had different names (my mom didn’t change hers). I never once ran into a single problem (and I was an overly sensitive kid, so I definitely would have noticed if there were any funny looks!). So if you want to change your name, go for it–but do it because YOU want to, not for the sake of your future kids. The important thing is that they have two parents who love them–it couldn’t matter less if those parents have the same last name.

10/15/09 @ 4:36 pm (reply)

15.

Member

Gilneas (message) 1,393 posts, Bumble bee

I love the idea of sharing a last name, but we have the opposite situation of you and Mr. Cloud - I dropped my father’s last name about five years ago and took my mom’s maiden name. So my last name is very much one I chose for myself. My fiance, on the other hand, has his dad’s last name but does not have a relationship with his father, and it’s not something I really want to pass down.

So we’re both keeping our last names.

10/15/09 @ 4:44 pm (reply)

16.

Member

Gilneas (message) 1,393 posts, Bumble bee

@ChiDIY: Love the Fiddler reference

10/15/09 @ 4:45 pm (reply)

17.

Guest

Katie

I’ve had a lot of mental stress over the name change. My last name is VERY unique, but also incredibly long and hard to pronouce (I have the same # of letters/syllables as Arnold Schwarzenegger…)

After a lot of thought, I realized that what I love about my name is the first part, the part that my friends shorten my name to, and call me that. So my solution is to take that short part and add it to his, and create a whole new last name for myself. I love it, he loves it, and it’s totally unique and great for us. We’ve talked about naming our kids that, but since he’s an only child, I think it might kill his parents…

10/15/09 @ 4:48 pm (reply)

18.

Member

thefuturemrsjewell (message) 1,829 posts, Buzzing bee

@Mrs. Gloss, that’s the exact same reason I’m taking my guy’s last name! You just put it so beautifully!

10/15/09 @ 4:49 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Miss French Fries (message) 2,218 posts, Buzzing bee

@ChiDIY: Fiddler!

@Mrs. Gloss: What a lovely way to think about it.

I’m changing my last name to his — and it’s way less complicated than mine now, so I’m happy!

10/15/09 @ 4:53 pm (reply)

20.

Guest

Mrs. Guacamole

I took my new husband’s last name, and had always expected to, but I’ve been a little surprised at how hard it has been for me to give up my maiden name. I thought it was a no-brainer and spent months playing with my new monogram, but now I’m a little sad about it!

10/15/09 @ 5:00 pm (reply)

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