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Be sure to check out all the posts in our Relationship Series here!
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Were you actively looking for a relationship when you met your SO? Was he/she looking?
Mrs. Bunny - I was NOT looking for a relationship when I suddenly fell madly in love with Mr. Bunny. I’d just gotten my heart broken for the second time (by the same guy… don’t date your exes!), and I don’t really know what came over me! He, on the other hand, had been lonely for quite sometime and was ready for love. He and his mother had recently had a conversation about his love life (which is very unusual, I might add), and she told him she would pray that he would find the right girl. He says he knew I was the one his mother prayed for him to find!
Miss Star - I had been looking for a while and feeling like there was nothing worthwhile out there. I was super lonely, but definitely didn’t feel ready for anything intense and emotionally serious. In fact, that was one of the reasons I was scared to date Mr. Star at first — because I knew that if we got together, that it would be so serious! I wasn’t sure I wanted that at the moment, but finally got over it, and now look where we are!
Miss Ramen - It’s true what they say - it always happens when you least expect it!!!
I had decided to FINALLY be content with my single self, and BAM! Mr. Ramen and I just started hanging out! I don’t think he would say he was actively looking, but I think his eyes were wide open, haha.
Mrs. Deviled Egg - I wasn’t really looking when we met. I was focused on my job, my family and my hobbies at the time and figured I would maybe one day meet someone. At the time Mr. DE and I met, I hadn’t dated anyone in three years. I think he was looking a little bit. (He did ask me out, after all!) Regardless, I think both of us were in a place where we were in the mindset of “if it happens, it happens” with no pressure or desperation.
Mrs. Cupcake - Here’s something I’ve never told the hive: I was actually dating someone else when I met Mr. Cupcake! Oops!
It wasn’t serious — we had gone out a few times and hadn’t had any talks about being exclusive or anything — but I certainly wasn’t looking to meet anyone new when Mr. C came along. I knew very few people at the Halloween party where we met, so I was simply trying to be social and meet new people. Little did I know that my friendly banter with the guy I met in line for the bathroom would lead to marriage! (I broke things off with the other guy 4 days after I met Mr. C, when he called to “officially” ask me out on our first date; I told myself that even if things didn’t work out between us, I knew he was much more my type than the other guy and I didn’t want to string anyone else along.)
Miss Frozen Yogurt - I was definitely not looking to date anyone when I met Mr. Fro Yo. I had just gotten out of a terrible relationship and was on the mend. In fact, I didn’t even want to go out the night we met, but a friend of mine encouraged me to go out and be sociable. I managed to throw on some jeans and a t-shirt and head out. Thankfully I did! When we met, he was definitely ready to date, though I don’t think he ever considered meeting his future wife in a bar. It did take me a little while to make us “official”, but I knew I liked him from the first night.
Miss Lamb - I was an emotional hot mess when Lammaroo and I started to date. We were friends for two years previously, and when I returned from my semester abroad, I was heartbroken over another boy. Lambers was definitely not looking for a girlfriend. Even though we went on a few dates before he graduated, he was headed off to Navy OCS and a girlfriend was the last thing he wanted. I stayed in touch with him, writing about twice a week. When he came back for homecoming that year, we became official. Looking back over some journals I wrote during the time we were dating, I didn’t know he was “the one” until about a year and a half after we started dating!
Mrs. Bear Cub - I was actively NOT looking for a relationship when I first met Mr. BC. In fact, our mutual friend started hitting on me, and I flat out told him I wasn’t interested in dating anyone at that time (I was fresh out of a bad breakup).
Then Mr. BC was sweet and endearing and friendly, and he cracked my hermit shell! Within a month of meeting him, he had charmed me into being his girlfriend.
Mrs. Gloss - Ha. Um, yeah I guess we were ‘looking for a relationships’ in all that high school dating relationships entails – i.e. phone calls, holding hands and eating lunch together. Did I think I would find the love of my life at age 15? Not even a little bit.
Mrs. Yorkie - When my relationship with Mr. Y blossomed, I wasn’t really looking for love. Seven months before, I’d finally extricated myself from the last of two back-to-back, dead-end relationships that I knew had no future, but stayed in them anyway for the better (or worse) part of four years.
By then, I’d spent so long identifying myself as half of a whole, that I was no longer sure of who I was as an individual. So I dedicated my new found time to finding out who I was, what I liked and learning to feel “complete” in myself. I traveled to Thailand to visit my sister, started teaching the little ones at church, and even got the crazy idea to train for a marathon. It was at that point, when I was finally comfortable with myself as a single person (and dripping with sweat), that love came running up to me… and I was finally ready for it.
Mrs. Peep Toe - I was a very happy single girl, but after 3 years without a boyfriend, I purposely moved from Santa Barbara (which had next to no dating prospects) to San Francisco to meet someone (and get a job, of course). I even told a friend that I was ready to meet the one. Lo and behold, within 6 months of moving to the city—and going to a ton of events to meet people—I found myself dating Mr. Peeps. About two months in, we both decided to give our relationship 100%—to truly see if this was it. So, I have to guess that Mr. Peep was ready to meet me, too.
Mrs. Joey - NO! I met him when I was home for the summer before grad school and would be moving to Manchester, England. We “hooked up” during Christmas break when we were both home. I think neither of us planned on a Manchester-Brooklyn long distance relationship, but some things are out of your control.
Mrs. Duckling - I wasn’t looking or expecting to find someone when Mr. Ducky and I started dating. I had just gotten back from studying in London for the year and during that time I avoided dating as I wanted to concentrate on personal growth and my experience there. The summer after London I was home in San Diego and had the “single lady” summer, as our group of friends was all single at the same time, which hadn’t happened before. Going back to college that year I was not looking, but then I reconnected with Mr. Ducky at a party. We started dating a few weeks later.
Mrs. Mascara - I had just gotten out of a relationship and was not interested in dating anyone when Mr. M and I started dating. He was a good friend of mine and was helping me to get over the breakup when we suddenly realized we had feelings for each other. It was not the ideal time to get together since he was leaving for college in a few months, but I suppose it all worked out in the end!
Mrs. French Bulldog - If I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship, I’d be lying - HELLO, I found (or he found me, rather) on Match.com. However, I wasn’t out looking for the man I was going to marry. I just thought I’d date some different guys (you know, guys different from the losers I’d dated before) and go to school. I really didn’t think I would get married until after I graduated and was totally fine with that. After dating Mr Frenchie for a couple weeks I knew I’d marry him and I cancelled my Match.com subscription. We got married a month ago and I still have a year left in school
Mrs. Peony - My relationship with Mr. Peony was the first relationship I entered without any expectations for the future. I had been badly hurt in the past, and I just figured that I would have fun and not think about where this relationship was heading.
Mr. Peony was not looking for love either - we made it clear at the start of the relationship that we would keep it casual… but it kept going and going and look where we are now!
Mrs. Potato Chips - I was not looking! I was 22, up in da clubs, and having a good time! We had the worst possible timing when we first got together—he immediately was deployed to North Carolina and then Japan. Somehow we thought sticking it out would be a good idea. And it was!
Miss Dachshund - I was in a “redefining” point in my life just prior to starting my relationship with Mr. Dachshund. I had just made the (long overdue) decision to move back to my hometown from Los Angeles, had finally worked up the courage to tell my parents that I hadn’t been going to school for a year and was working on getting my life back in order. Obviously playing World of Warcraft was the best way to do that!
Really though, I had just moved into my house and I would play WoW occasionally to pass the time at night as I searched for a job during the day. As much as I may complain about my job now, not working is boring!
I absolutely was not looking for a relationship at the time. I knew that I still needed a lot of work; I needed to invest time in myself before I would be able to be in a successful relationship.
When I met Mr. Dachshund, I was definitely interested, but I had no idea how we’d make it work. I was scared that the long distance would end badly, and I knew I wasn’t at a point to be able to handle that well. Against my better judgment, we gave it a shot. Needless to say I’m pretty glad we did.
Mrs. Penguin - I was on the prowl… RAWRRRRR! It’s a bit comical how I pursued Mr. Pengy. It was a calculated attack… I needed lots of things… a fake ID, a car (for which I had to get TWO jobs to pay for!!!), I was on a full-blown manhunt once I met him. I just KNEW he was the man for me. He fit my ideal—everything, really. Mind you, these were all superficial things—he was from the same socioeconomic class as me, liked to eat all kinds of foods like me, was really well liked by everyone, was polite and Midwestern… I was ALL OVER THAT! Obviously we eventually connected on a deeper level, but man, during those first few months that I met him, I made sure to be in all the right places and all the right bars at all the right times. I knew when his favorite sports teams would be playing and knew when and where he’d be watching them.
I know, I know. You’re hearing The Police in your head right now. I swear, I am a good wife, so it worked out, okay?
Miss Cloud - When we met, neither of us were looking. He had gotten out of a relationship almost a year before but wasn’t interested in anything serious, and I had pretty much written off guys all together at that point. When we did start dating it was hard because we were long distance and I think we were both still not 100% sure if we were ready to take on such a big obstacle. We tried to take it slow and keep things casual but it just wasn’t happening. Instead we both ended up with ridiculous cell phone bills… oh, and we found the loves of our lives!
Mrs. Crab Cake - I wouldn’t say I was looking for a relationship. I was casually dating a couple of guys when I met Mr. CC. I’d just moved to town and felt like tying myself to one person would be a really bad plan. I wanted to develop a social circle here. Turns out, the guys I was dating were total asses and Mr. CC came with the social circle I was craving!
Miss Beagle - I was not looking for love when I met Mr. Beagle. Our relationship began with friendship & during part of that time I was involved in a really unhealthy relationship. When that relationship finally ended I was an emotional wreck and my self-esteem had really bottomed out. Mr. Beagle’s friendship helped me through some rough times and when I came out of it I realized what an amazing person he is and that we really meshed. Then we started dating.
Mrs. Cheese - Not really. I was more interested in getting my sister to shut up about how pathetic my life was and how I’d never meet anyone sitting at home with a bottle of wine and Tivo. I’d planned to have a beer to prove that I was willing, then go home to my bottle of wine and Tivo.
He was looking for someone different to date. He’d been dating girls in his circle of friends, girls he met at the gym, girls he knew from his regular life. He’d decided he was tired of it and wanted to meet someone different so he went someplace different.
He went to the bar where I was nursing my beer and texting my sister that I hated every minute of sitting there alone, and he sat next to me.
The wonder of a universe that places someone fully as quirky as me next to me at a random bar — neither of us being bar-hoppers except for that night — floors me. Being open to a new life and doing something just a little bit different to prove it paid off.
By the way, I met my best friend in much the same way. I took an invitation to go out to dinner with people I barely knew because I hated my lonely life. She sat next to me and we hit it off immediately. That was the week after I met my husband. June of 2008 was a great month.
Miss Rainbow - I wasn’t looking for a relationship, because I had just gotten out of a mess of an engagement, but I was looking to “rekindle” the friendship that Mr. R and I had years ago. Little did I know that the rekindling that I had hoped for would quickly catch fire and turn into something much bigger. Two weeks after we reunited, we started dating. Then a month after that we moved in together. It was fast, but ever since we met (as kids in 1998) there was always that “something”, so when we reunited, we just knew. It was perfect.
Miss French Fries - Literally the night that we met, I was talking with another one of my girlfriends about how neither of us could seem to find a “good guy”. She suggested that we start going to happy hours after work, when a lot of singles would likely be out and about. The thought of meeting my significant other at a bar wasn’t exactly appealing to me, so I shot her down right away.
Little did I know that sitting at a table right next to us was Mr. FF. A table right next to us… at a bar.
He came over and we chatted, and I was smitten with him from the start. When my group wanted to leave, I persuaded one of my friends to go back with me just so I could talk to him some more.
So I guess you could say I was “sorta kinda” looking — but not expecting to find him!
Miss Poodle - When we met, we were both coming out of long relationships where we both got really hurt. Neither of us were seeking love when we met. Actually, at that point I was feeling so disappointed about men and my heart was starting to feel completely healed. I didn’t want to get in to another serious relationship. I was planning on staying single for as long as I could, But… those plans didn’t last long after I met Mr. Poodle. Opening my heart and taking chances again were some of the best decisions I’ve made (besides saying yes to his marriage proposal) and he feels the same way. So, love found us when we least expected it.
Mrs. Lovebird - Nope! We both had just finished our first semesters as freshmen and were still reeling from the excitement of college life when we met up with all of our Stuy (high school) friends during winter break. Mr. Lovebird has just finished pledging his fraternity at NYU and I had just spent four months at an all women’s college in PA. Needless to say, we were both having a blast and weren’t looking for serious relationships, let alone a long distance one. But during that winter break, we stayed up all night chatting with each other and the rest is history. To be honest, I’m not sure how it happened; we had known each other during high school but never saw each other in “that way”. None of our mutual friends thought it would last (I think they even took bets on how long it would take us to break up). Little did they know, seven and a half years later, they would be at our wedding.
Mrs. Eggplant - I was definitely not looking for love. I had just returned from a three-month missions trip and was in the process of reevaluating my life. Men were not on my itinerary. In fact, that’s the only reason I allowed myself to hang out with Mr. Eggplant; I was absolutely positive that he was not my type, so it was “safe” to hang out with him. Once I let my guard down, I realized we were pretty darn good together.
Ms. Sushi - Neither of us was looking for love of any kind at the time. I had just had a very bad relationship situation with someone that I not only knew forever but had an on again/off again relationship for YEARS (12-ish!). After that I had shunned guys off. Mr. Sushi was fairly new in the dating scene after separating from his baby’s mama. We met in a bar and casually dated for months. I would have laughed my arse off if you told me then that he would be the guy I was going to marry. It took a good year (and then some) to finally take our relationship seriously. Four years later we are better and stronger than ever.
Mrs. Sprinkle - I was not actively looking for anything! I had just moved to Los Angeles a month prior to our first date, and I really expected to just “play the field” for a long, long looooong time. I was so anti-dating at the time that I refused to answer Mr. Sprinkle’s phone calls for the first few weeks of our friendship, because I did not want it to grow into anything beyond friendship!
Mrs. Labrador - Um, heck no! Haha! I had just ended an on-and-off relationship of 4 years when I met Mr. Lab. We finally officially starting dating about 4 months after the “for good” break up with my ex. I thought it would be a couple weeks sort of thing since I felt like I needed to not date seriously after a long relationship. I even went so far as to tell my best friend that I was probably going to end up breaking Mr. Lab’s heart because he seemed way more serious about me than I was about him! I guess it’s true that true love comes around when you’re least expecting it!
Mrs. Mouse - Neither of us was looking for a relationship when we met, but ultimately we were both open to one. When I first met the Dude, I was at the end of my junior year of college, and I had big plans to teach English in Spain for a year after graduation and then go to law school in NYC. But we fell in love, and I stayed in Austin to be with him, something I never would have seen myself doing before I met him. Five years later, I know I made the right decision.
Mrs. Dewdrop - When Mr. DD and I first met in 2002, I was in long-term relationship and he was working crazy hours. Five years later, when Mr. DD sent me an out of the blue email, I was in a giving up on love sort of phase and Mr. DD had just gotten out of a long-term relationship. So neither of us was actively looking for a relationship. Curious about each other, yes. Open to a relationship, probably. But I would never have guessed at that time that Mr. DD and I would end up getting married. Sometimes it still surprises me!
Ms. Champagne - Heck no… we were sophomores in college and both wanted a little college booty. I had been in a relationship my freshman year and wanted for my sophomore year to be about “the college experience”. Well instead of spending it with just my girls, Champ and I got to experience the college years together!
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What about you? Were you seeking love when you met your SO?
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