Weddingbee Blog

Be sure to check out all the posts in our Relationship Series here!

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I always thought I’d date someone for ____ months/years before we’d get engaged. In reality, we dated ____ months/years.

Mrs. Bear Cub - My relationship before Mr BC lasted almost 4 years. My parents got married 4 months after meeting each other, so I’d always thought that a long courtship was more practical. I had expected to date Mr. BC for 3.5 to 5 years before marriage became an option, but after 1.5 years we had to decide about moving to another country together! We realized then - after 1.5 years - that, duh, we were going to get married, and why not do it right now? We’d been “courting” for a little over 3 years by the time we got married.

Miss Star - I thought that I’d probably date someone for years and years before we got married. In actuality, we’ve been dating for nearly three years now, but have been engaged since just before our one year anniversary. I told my best friend that I thought he was “the one” just a little over a month after we started dating — we just knew!

Miss Ramen - I always thought I’d date someone for about 2-2 1/2 years before we’d get engaged. In reality, Mr. Ramen and I dated for 3 years and 1 month and 2 days (yeah, that exact) before he FINALLY asked me that question that I’d been waiting for.

I think I knew pretty early on that we’d somehow end up together in the end, but he took a little longer to realize that marriage/love was the answer to most of the questions in his heart. (Jack Johnson, anyone?)

Mrs. Yorkie - When I was younger, I always thought that I’d date someone for about 4 years before getting engaged. As I entered my late 20s, that number got pared down to two. In reality, Mr. Yorkie got down on bended knee just a couple of months before that magic milestone. Considering our “advanced” ages and the fact that we’d like to enjoy the first year or so of our married life before beginning a family, I think it was perfect timing!

Mrs. Deviled Egg - I always figured a year or two would be enough time to date someone before deciding if it was the right move to get engaged. With Mr. DE, we were dating almost two years when he popped the question. I’m sure I would have said yes if he would have asked sooner because I just knew he was the one for me!

Miss Frozen Yogurt - I always thought that I would date someone for about 2 years before we got engaged, and we were just about a month shy of that two year mark when he asked me. We talked about marriage early on, but both agreed on that 2 year timeline.

Miss Lamb - After my whole, “meet a man in college and get married after graduation” plan went out the window, I decided that I didn’t want to mess around with a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere for more than a year to a year and a half. Lambster being in the military and the long distance in our relationship messed around with that plan, though. We only saw each other about 10% of the time during our first two years of dating. It took a long time for us to say, “I love you,” and a much longer time to talk about marriage. I was ready years before him - literally. We ended up dating for 4 years (3 long distance) before he proposed and by the time we’re married, it’ll be 5 years total.

Mrs. Mary Jane - I always thought I would date someone for about 3-4 years prior to marriage. This is what my parents did, so it just seemed right. I figured that the 3-4 years could be during college, and then after college, I’d get married. I did execute that plan, actually. It turns out it was not such a good plan. (Mr. Mary Jane had a similar situation that also was not such a great plan for him.) So with all that careful planning out the window, it was time to follow our hearts. We ended up “dating” (which includes living together) for a little over 1 year before our engagement. And we were married 6 months later. And now, I can’t believe that we only actually met about 2.5 years ago - it feels like many happy years have passed. We’re thrilled for many more to come!

Mrs. Gloss - I definitely never pictured dating someone as long as I did before we were engaged. I just calculated the number of days, and we were together exactly 3,000 days before we were engaged - weird (8 years, 2 months and 17 days). Then there were 454 more days until we were married (9 years, 5 months and 14 days). Our relationship definitely has a different pace since we’ve been together since high school.

And no, I could never calculate those numbers from in head - I used this bad boy.

Mrs. Joey - I always thought I’d date someone for 2 years before we’d get engaged. In reality, we dated 3.5 years. We both needed the time though, and both knew we’d be getting married eventually, so there was no rush.

Mrs. Cherry Blossom - I always thought we’d maybe date for 2 or 3 years and then get married, because I think I still had my “timeline” thinking I’d be married and having kids by the time I was 25. We actually dated for 5 years, got engaged for about a year and half, and then got married at 27 (1.5 months before I turned 28).

Mrs. Mascara - I always thought I’d get married after 3-4 years, but that plan sort of went out the window since we were only 20 and 21 and still in college. I think we probably could have been married a little sooner but it just wasn’t practical since we weren’t living in the same state for awhile after college. It ended up being about 7 years before we got engaged and 8 years before we got married.

Mrs. Duckling - I always thought I’d date someone for 2-3 years before we’d get engaged. In reality, we dated for 3 years before getting engaged and it was close to 4 years before we got married. Our timing was right for us, but we were definitely ready to be married. We saw couples meet, date, get engaged and married just in the duration of our 16 month engagement!

Mrs. Peep Toe - I knew I would meet someone when I was a bit older, so I didn’t plan on dating someone that long before we got married. We got engaged after being together just under 2 years, which was perfect for us—he was ready to propose after one year, but gave me a year to feel ready for it. I will say that I never wanted to be engaged longer than a year and our engagement was about 18 months—life got in the way, and boy, did it feel like a long time to be engaged. Now that we’re married it all feels like a drop in the bucket.

Mrs. French Bulldog - I always thought I’d date someone for one year before we’d get engaged. In reality, we dated 3 years. We knew a couple months into our relationship we’d get married someday, but school and looking for work got in the way. In a way I’m glad we dated for longer because we worked through some issues while we were dating, but I also wish we got married 2 years ago… I kinda think we wasted some time.

Ms. Swan - We had been dating 2 years and 9 months when we got engaged and were engaged for 364 days. Honestly, I could have dated even a bit longer (maybe six months more). Actually, a minute before Mr. Swan proposed I turned to him and said, ” We don’t have to get married. I’m happy with us.” I am one of those people who feels they have to be completely and totally prepared before doing anything, so even though we had talked a TON about getting married I still felt we needed to do even more. On the other hand, I found out he’d had the ring for a few months and would have proposed before if BIL Swan weren’t engaged and about to be married (he proposed a week after his wedding, and we married a year and a week after them).

Mrs. Perfume - I always thought I’d date someone for two years before we’d get engaged. In reality, it took exactly three years and several break-ups before it actually happened! Funny thing is, we never broke up because of commitment/engagement-related issues. We just weren’t ready to make it work. But by the time we rekindled our relationship back in summer 2007, it was like a refreshed, almost new partnership and it was a really happy, well-timed surprise when he proposed on the three year-anniversary of our first date. I wasn’t expecting it, but I was ready.

Mrs. Penguin - I always thought I’d date someone for 2 years before we’d get engaged. In reality, we dated for 7 years.

Honestly I think 7 years is a really friggin’ long time. I was really ready at the 5 year point. We did actually break up for a year after our 2 year mark, too. It definitely gave me a lot of time to grow up. Mr. Peng has always been pretty mature; he didn’t really need to grow up, but I sure did. Don’t tell him I told you guys that I admitted my immaturity.

If I met someone today, at age 28, I think my number would shrink down to 1.5 years, maybe less. Social pressure, unfortunately.

Mrs. Bee - I always thought I’d date someone for a year before we’d get engaged. I didn’t think I’d need any longer than that to know if I wanted to marry someone. In reality, we dated for 6 months… which still felt like an eternity because we knew we wanted to get married right away!

I was never the type of person who had crushes or fell in love or really even wanted to get married, so it was a shock that I wanted to move so quickly. But it’s worked out pretty well so far.

Miss Cloud - I always thought I would date someone for a year or so before we got engaged and then be married after another year. I have no clue why, I just assumed that’s how it would work. Maybe because my parents did it? Instead we were together for three years before we FINALLY got engaged and then will have had an almost two year engagement! Five years later we will finally say our I dos, I was way off!

Mrs. Crab Cake - Honestly, after my last (failed) engagement, I had every intention of dating someone for years and years and years before deciding to settle down and get married. To my surprise, I knew within weeks of dating that Mr. CC and I were destined. We were engaged at 6 months and married about 20 months after we began dating.

Mrs. Potato Chips - I always thought I’d date someone for at least a few years before we’d get engaged. In reality, we’ll have dated for 7 1/2 years before we get married. What can I say, we’re on the slow plan! It’s not really a matter of being ready: we’ve been ready for a long time. But we were always waiting for the time to be “right”—financially and otherwise. But mostly financially.

Mrs. Cheese - We’d dated for three months when he first mentioned marriage, six months when we started talking about living together and actually getting married, ten months when we bought a house together, and 13 months when we got engaged. We got married 23 months after we met.

Without a doubt, buying a house and living together put the brakes on our super-speed courtship, and part of me wishes we hadn’t “jumped ahead”. Living together and facing our differences was a scary experience for me, and dealing with the remnants of my failed marriage while trying to build communication skills with someone I frankly didn’t know very well didn’t help. I suspect that much of the drama and relationship hardship we faced were because we didn’t just let life unfold.

Originally we’d planned to get married in October of last year (16 months after we met) but it soon became clear that was way too fast and that we’d never be ready (him: landscaping and house-related stuff; me: emotionally). Moving our wedding date was the smartest thing we ever did, and I’m so glad we had a 10-month engagement.

Our first six months were magical, and had we not bought a house, I think we could have gotten married that same year and been fine. Our challenges would have increased in proportion to our skills and understanding of each other.

I will also admit that, having been divorced, I hadn’t seriously considered marriage ever again, but when I started dating him, I didn’t really ever consider any other option. Mostly I was unwilling to look ahead for fear of jinxing it, but then, when it came time to look forward, I didn’t doubt we’d just always be together. That sense of belonging kept us together.

Miss Beagle - I’m not really sure what my ideal length of courtship was prior to getting engaged. In my relationship prior to Mr. Beagle, I thought I was ready after 2 or 3 years of dating. However, after that ended, marriage really frightened me, so I planned on having a long-term relationship with someone before I ever thought of marriage again. Mr. Beagle and I will have been together for 7 years by the time we get married. I think we started talking seriously about marriage around the 5 year mark.

Miss Rainbow - I always thought I’d get engaged about a year or two after we started dating, we’d move in together after the proposal, and a year later get married.

In reality, Mr. Rainbow and I knew each other for almost 10 years before we started dating. We dated for one month, then moved in together. A year and a half later we were engaged, and a year and a half after that we’ll be married! It was a little longer that I anticipated, but it was worth every extra second.

Mrs. Lovebird - I always thought I’d date someone for 2 years before we’d get engaged. In reality, we dated 5 and 1/2 years.

But then again, I didn’t think I was gonna marry the guy I started dating when we were 18. Even though we were among the first of our friends to get married, I started bringing it up at the 5 year mark (probably because I started reading Weddingbee and ’cause some of my law school friends, who were a little bit older, were getting engaged). None of our close friends were engaged at that point, so I wasn’t really serious when I teased him about it. I just liked to see him squirm. I had no clue what he was planning and when the ring came, I was in total shock!

Mrs. Sprinkle - I always thought I’d date someone for 2 or so years before we’d get engaged. In reality, we dated exactly four years. We got married on the 4th anniversary of our first date, and it was perfect for us. We moved in together kind of suddenly after a year of long distance dating, as I had to get out of a horrible roommate situation quickly, so I rented a house on my own and Mr. S moved in after he graduated from college. The first few months of living together were hard to get used to, especially because it happened so fast, but by the time we got engaged two years later, we were more than ready for marriage!

Miss Dachshund - I think I always assumed that I’d date someone for a few years, likely three, before we got engaged. I guess that just seemed like a good amount of time to get to know each other and move on to the next step.

In reality, Mr. Doxie and I “dated” for eight months before our engagement. And we’d only been together for a few weeks of that. I think our prompt courtship was directly related to the distance; the only way for him to move in with me was to get engaged. I know that kinda sounds terrible, but we truly do know that we’re meant for each other!

But. If Mr. Dachshund lived closer, perhaps we’d still be dating.

Mrs. Mouse - I don’t think I ever had a number of months or years in mind because I had honestly never thought about marriage until I’d been with the Dude for quite some time. I definitely would’ve been OK if he’d asked sooner, but we got engaged after 3 years and 8 months of dating. At that point I believe we’d been living together for about a year and a half.

Mrs. Dewdrop - I always thought I’d date someone for 2 years before we’d get engaged. In reality, we dated for 1 year and 3 months. Did age have something to do with it? Probably. When we got engaged, I was 30 and Mr. DD was 34. We were both at a point in our lives where we were ready to commit to another person. That said, finding the right person also tends to speed up timelines–somehow it seemed so natural to want to marry Mr. DD even though I had always had trouble saying I love you to anyone in the past.

Mrs. Taffy - I was very surprised how soon Mr. Taffy and I became engaged. I always thought I would be in a relationship for around three years before making such a big step! Mr. Taffy proposed a couple of months after our one year anniversary, but I think we both knew we wanted to get married after about eight months of dating.

Ms. Champagne - I always thought I would date someone for 3 years before we got engaged. In reality, we dated for a few years, took a few apart, and all together spent about six years in a relationship before getting engaged. I think that time apart showed us both that we didn’t want to spend our lives with anyone else.

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What about you? How long did you think you’d date someone before getting engaged? Was that close to your reality?