Wedding Blog
When it comes to dressing the ladies who will stand beside me on our wedding day, I knew that I really wanted to have them pick something that they liked and ideally, something that they could (and would!) wear again. I know that every bride claims “you can totally wear it again!” but really? Am I going to wear a shiny satin floor-length ball gown ever again in my life? I don’t go to formal events often ever, so chances of me wearing it are very slim, unless I’m wearing it while vacuuming and being a fancy lady.
That’s why I’m operating under the assumption that since all of my girls are grown adult women and have been dressing themselves for quite a few years, that they’re capable of making informed decisions about what they like and what looks good on them. Therefore, I’ve decided to let my girls pick what they want to wear (with some gentle guidance on my part). Like many brides before me I have a variety of body types to dress; one dress for all 6 girls isn’t going to cut it. Let’s do a quick rundown of who will be up there with me that day: MOH French Fries (my sister), my other sister French Fries, two Fry Gals from my college days, and two Fry Gals from my first “real world” job.
So, these are the parameters that I’m thinking:
cocktail length or tea length (not floor length), probably the same manufacturer (for some continuity), and solid black. I’ve wanted solid black bridesmaid’s dresses for as long as I can remember (it was just my accent color that changed a few times). I hope that a black cocktail dress (a “little black dress” if you will) will be something that my girls can stash in their closet and use from time to time. I’m not going to pretend that they’re going to use it every weekend, but if they can use it a few times for a nice dinner out or a work event, then that’s great. Not to mention, black contrasts amazingly against our accent color of pink. Look how the pink bouquets in the picture pop against these lovely ladies’ dresses:
So, am I going to leave my girls to find their way through the bridesmaids dress wilderness? Nope. I’ve been doing some dress scouting for them for quite some time, actually. My first choice for bridesmaid’s dresses was J.Crew. I love me some Crew (and would love to have their personal stylist dress me from head to toe) but to be honest, their size options are a bit limited. Also, they don’t really have many options for my girls to cover their shoulders, if they so choose (other than a cardigan, which is cute, but isn’t exactly the look I’m going for). One of the requests that I’ve gotten from a few of the Fry Gals is that they have more options than just a strapless dress, and possibly some shoulder coverage options. Duly noted.
Just because I didn’t find anything at the Crew for my Fry Gals didn’t stop me from picking up a dress for our rehearsal, however. It’s not this exact dress (the one I purchased was 1 season earlier and has a v neck and not a wrap top) but it’s essentially the same dress:
Wait! I’m getting sidetracked on my bridesmaid’s dress mission! Focus, French Fries. Focus! My next stop was White House Black Market. I’ve had really good luck with their dresses in the past, and have worn them to several weddings myself. They have a great section of basic black cocktail dresses, but again – the sizing is a bit limited, and there aren’t very many to choose from. I do like these, though.
One day while wandering through the wiles of bridesmaid dress country, I made my way to the Aria Dress website. I think I may have hit the jackpot as far as dress customization, sizing, and styles to choose from! Most of the Aria dresses can be customized in things like skirt length/options (A-line, shirred, pleated, etc.) and sleeve options (cap sleeves, short sleeves, or three-quarter length). They have halter necklines, v necklines, one-shoulder dresses, bateau necklines, strapless dresses… quite possibly the greatest number of options that I have seen for bridesmaid’s dresses to date. The dresses aren’t too expensive and if we order all 6 at the same time, the Fry Gals get a 10% discount! Score.
Here are a few of the dresses that I love (and MOH French Fries is most likely going to be wearing the first one). I think that we’ll go with the knee-length black silk shantung fabric for all of them, but other than that, the Fry Girls can pick what they want until their hearts are content. (Sorry the pictures are so small, they’re the best I could do!)
How did you choose your bridesmaids’ dresses? Did you let your girls pick, or did you do the picking?
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I just said “red” and they are picking out whatever they want. Only my two sisters have picked dresses so far and they are as different as can be but I love both. I’m excited to see what my other girls pick.
I let my girls pick, and I think they were very thankful. Now I’m waiting to see what they will all choose!
I went with J Crew, chose the fabric and color but they still had 5 options for the style of dress…And of course, all but 1 picked the same damn style…I like the ones you chose!
I let my girls pick too (same exact parameters as you), and it has been a nightmare. A case of too much freedom for their own good. They have done nothing but complain since day one; they actually complained to me that they can’t find shoes to go with their dress. “You can’t find BLACK SHOES????” Ugh. I joke that next time I do this I’m going to pick the ugliest dress I can find, and they all have to wear it. Then at least they’ll be unhappy for the same reasons! Who’d have seen this coming, seriously???
I went with David’s, color watermelon, and let them pick anything cocktail/short length and in silk/satin/flat taffeta/whatever. I have 8 BMs, two have picked the same dress, two others picked different dresses, and the other four haven’t picked yet.
It’s working out pretty well and the price is great. One of my BMs got her dress for $80. I’m just suggesting they get them altered elsewhere because I heard David’s tends to overcharge.
I fortunately have a small wedding party…just my sister! I told her the color that I would like her to wear and told her to start shopping…she lives in another state so we unfortunately can’t do it together 
I was a bridesmaid a few years ago and was incredibly disappointed by the dress I was forced to buy and wear…dusty lavender floor length ball gown…vomit. It looked horrible on everyone…and even if I could shorten it or something, the color was unwearable. I would have much rather had the freedom to find something for myself.
My girls are choosing their own LBDs! No requirements; they have to fly across country to get here, so they can wear whatever they want. I’m only being a control freak about, well, everything else related to the wedding 
I only have two bridesmaids so we’re be hitting up the holiday sales for their dresses. 
Shouldn’t be too hard to find coordinating dresses that fit both of their personal styles.
I have 4 gals and I wanted them to wear the same dress. Although I heard a few groans at first we finally choose a dress that eveyone liked! We really hit the jackpot though as the dresses (with shipping) were $53! Although searching was a hassle I was glad to save the girls so much money (and I kept the party looking great).
I asked my ladies to chose a LBD from JCrew. I knew I wanted them in black and wanted them all in different dresses. JCrew had great options for them–and they were all able to get their dresses on sale! Score!
We used Aria dresses as well and they looked fantastic. My MOH chose a 2pc skirt/wrap top with 3/4 sleeves and they other maids chose various dresses based on their shape. It was ideal, they were all very happy with their dresses, they didn’t take forever to come in and needed very little in the way of alterations. I think you’ll all be glad you went this route!
Those are great - thanks for sharing the Aria dresses! I’ve recently fallen in love with Two Birds, One Dress. And I’m hoping my gals will want to do something from there - but Aria may be the next contender!
My ladies all picked their own black knee/tea length a-line-ish cocktail dresses and looked fabulous. I promoted finding deals and not spending a ton, but the majority went with more upscale things than “bride guilt” would have allowed me to pick if I was doing all of the choosing
I am going with Jim Hjelm. the eggplant color is exactly what I want. They can choose whatever style they like in the chiffon fabric and it should be cocktail length. I have been searching for a less expensive option for them and have come up with a few but they all still like the Jim Hjelm. Luckily my bridal salon will give them a 20% discount. am going this weekend with them to try some on .. YAY!
They’re probably so excited that you chose this option.
I picked “watermelon” from Davids Bridal and let them pick what dresses they wanted.
i plan on having two bms so i’m thinking i’ll let them pick their dress in a specific color. i figure since there’s only two of them they don’t necessarily need to match
I’ve never really desired that the BMs all dress alike- just within a certain color palette. For my attendants, I plan for them to wear any brown or pink (preferably solid) knee-length dress they want. I’ll even go shopping with them if they want. That way they feel comfortable in what they are wearing and can truly wear it again.
I have four BM(s) who have worn every color under the rainbow, so I opted for classic black dresses (tea length) from Jenny Yoo. Same collection, but I let them choose their necklines. J Crew was an option, but their sizing didn’t work for one of my b/m (s). I like the dresses you chose-beautiful!
The whole bridesmaids dresses thing stresses me out. I feel badly telling people what to wear, even if I’m letting them choose based on my constraints. I’m too much of a people-pleaser.
I’m totally picking matching dresses. I love the mismatch look, but I’ve always pictured matching girls. It’ll be great!
i would say, if it’s solid black, maybe they could even wear an existing dress if they’d like? that’s what i had told my ladies, and i would provide the accent sash.
maybe they could show you the dress first for your approval if it’s one they already own. a prudent thing in the current economy….
My bridesmaids will be wearing Aria! I got my wedding colors from them. Thankfully, they have a showroom in Boston which isn’t far from where any of us live, so my bridesmaids can see all their options. Like you, I have 6 ladies that are very different shapes and sizes so they’ll get to pick the style that best fits them.
I was in the same boat as you - I genuinely wanted something the bridesmaids might use again and didn’t scream “BRIDESMAID.” I picked my bridesmaid dresses out - and I actually did go with JCrew. The thing that I realized (by accident) that is going to be the cheaper option is to go with something out of their regular catalog rather than the bridal catalog. And since I waited till the end of the summer (late August/early September) they were all on sale! My girls paid less than $50 for their dresses even after tax and shipping!
Now I’m having an outdoor summer wedding, so it’s a different formality level then what you seem to be looking at, but these are the two dresses that I let the girls choose from:
and
(Both in Dark Pacific)
I love them so much I’m considering ordering the 2nd one (strapless) in white for the rehearsal!
Since I’m making them and had a heck of a deal on the fabric they get to pick the shape and length, I wanted to give them more freedom but they are happy, so Im happy
I love that last pink one! I had my MOH and one bridesmaid, and I told them to pick any knee length dress they wanted, as long as it was black. They ended up choosing two different styles, but in the same material from the same store so it worked out perfectly!
I let my girls do the picking and told them to find a dress that was between the knee & mid shin, in black, and that they were comforatable wearing.
Hi There!
Have you checked out Miss Ruby on Water, right by Joey Buona’s/Fred/Beauty? They’ve got *fabulous* bridesmaid dresses and cocktail dresses that would work well for BMs. We actually went with Bill Levkoff’s dresses in brown tissue taffeta, and I let the girls pick ANY dress they wanted in that fabric. Then we had them tailored to just below-knee-length; I’m proud to say that ALL of them have worn their dresses at least once afterward!
Good luck - and happy planning from another Milwaukee (former) bride!
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Miss French Fries, Milwaukee
Age and Occupation: 27, Paralegal
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 35, Investments Advisor
Engagement Date: September 20, 2008
Wedding Date: June 2010
Venue: Ceremony: Catholic Church, Reception: Hotel Ballroom
About Me: I'm a Midwestern girl who longs to live in a warmer climate (my feet would be happy in flip flops any day!). I love travel, impromptu napping, grilled cheese sandwiches, my iPhone, singing with reckless abandon in my car, and Mr. French Fries.
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