Wedding Blog
I’ve been the single girl, hoping to catch the bouquet, enough times to know I don’t want to partake in the tossing tradition at our reception.
Instead, I’m tossing tradition and considering some the Martha Stewart suggested alternatives:
Another idea, inspired by Miss Bruschetta, is to gather all of the guests on the dance floor and have both the Lambster and I shower our guests with gift cards or scratch offs. The Opera House has a great balcony on the third floor that overlooks the dance floor.
Since I would have to make/buy another bouquet and garter for the toss, I think it’d be more fun for everyone if I spent the money on something more useful for the recipients.
Is my practical side getting the better of me? Will people miss the traditional toss, or will they be glad the tradition was tossed?
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i dunno. while i moaned and groaned about being corralled onto the dance floor, i always secretly enjoyed the toss simply for it’s competitive nature. oh how i wanted to “win” that bouquet! and then once the boy started getting nervous about the meaning behind the tradition, i’ve been wanting to catch it even more just to freak him out!
i plan on doing the fortune bouquet just so there can be more than one “winner” at our reception. i think it’d be such a fun and unexpected treat.
OMG pleeeeeeeaze toss the tradition in its entirety! I’ve always felt the bouquet and garter tosses were demeaning- to the single people and the bride when a groom starts digging up her dress or (god help me) puts his head under her skirt. yikes. and then if the couple makes the two strangers who caught the bouquet and the garter dance together? Awk. Ward.
When I was single person I always snuck off to the bar during the tosses, so I don’t think anyone is going to miss them. I wouldn’t spend any time or efforts on a substitution. I know I’m not 
I always enjoy the bouquet toss at weddings… although I never actively participate (only when I’m a bridesmaid and do so out of obligation). But I don’t know if I’d miss it terribly… these other ideas are cute.
I’m not doing a bouquet toss — I decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to and am holding firm! Instead, we’ll do an anniversary dance and hand off the toss bouquet to the couple married the longest.
I’ve gotten out on the dance floor for the toss before, but never actually tried to catch it. But I’m having enough single ladies at my wedding that I’m still going to make them do it!
Those other ideas are cute but might need directions. If someone threw a bouquet and it ended up in 12 pieces I’d be pretty confused.
I’ve almost always refused to stand there and try to catch the bouquet, so I’m not tossing mine. I’ve been looking for alternatives, and I’d heard of the fortune bouquet, but not the scratch-off toss. That sounds like a pile of fun. Thanks for that nugget of inspiration!
I’m personally tossing the tradition. As someone whose gone to quite a few weddings this year, despite being engaged, I’m “unmarried” and dragged out to the single ladies group. I’ve also been one of two out there to catch the bouquet, the other being an older divorcee, both of us mortified. I was even more mortified to have caught it and my embarassment grew to astronomic levels when the grooms son had to put a garter on my leg. I don’t think everyone appreciates being called out as single; it’s not a fun filled moment for all. I have a friend who’s a widow and I shudder to think of her face when someone asks her why she isn’t participating in the bouquet toss.
Ehh, not sure what I’m going to about that tradition either. Most of my girlfriends are married or coming with long-term boyfriends, so I don’t want to make the single people feel awkward (or the girls who’ve been dating a guy for a long time with no proposal feel awkward!). I like the idea of the scratch-off toss, though! That’s something everyone will enjoy.
I kind like the bouquet toss and was sad when I missed it at weddings. I once caught a portion of one of those fortune bouquets but that’s not nearly as cool as getting the whole bouquet.
We’re definitely scrapping both traditions. I really don’t like the idea of him taking off my garter in front of both of our families, and I always felt really awkward at the bouquet tosses.
I think it also depends a lot on the type of wedding you’re having. We live across the country from home, where we’re getting married, and most of our friends won’t be able to make the trip. Combined with our large families, it’ll be a family-heavy, singles-light wedding. I think some awkwardness could ensue.
I am traditional in that I wanted to throw something, but spending any money on a “toss bouquet” that no one really wants seemed silly, plus I only wanted to do the toss if people were out there and having fun. So I kept the toss, but instead of flowers I got a little Coach wristlet from an outlet mall. It cost under $30, and I tied on a few bud roses from some flowers I had around. Wow, were there a lot of girls out there to catch it and they sure fought for it. The bud roses were massacred in the process but it ended up being so much fun.
ive been at more than a dozen weddings thsi year and i reaaaaallyyyyy dont love the tossing of the bouquet business. if anything, just another tradition that i will feel guilty about not practicing 
some of your alternative ideas are great!
the only bigbig plus of a toss is for all the single guys to notice all the single ladies 
hehe! but another thought- would you have the dating/engaged ladies up there catching bouquets too?
I caught the bouquet at a wedding where the guy who caught the garter was GROSS and they made him put the garter on me with his TEETH. Ever since then, I am opposed to the garter toss no matter what! (But I am keeping the bouquet toss but opening it up to all ladies just for funsies.)
Oh Miss Lamb I hear you. I am not going to subject my single friends to the bouquet toss- some might like it, but I know how I felt at weddings be pushed forward because of my single status. Yes it is traditional, but not every tradition is meant for every wedding! But, Stephanie I like the idea of opening it up to all the women- that would be wayy more fun!
For as many awkward and dreadful looks I’ve seen on the faces of single attendees, and being one who has dodged a lot of bouquet tosses, I say toss the tradition. There won’t be any bouquets or garters flying through the air at our wedding, and I don’t think anyone will mind.
I ditched the bouquet toss and the garter toss - and I haven’t heard anyone say they missed either of them. Instead, we just kept the dancing going all night.
Toss the tradition! I decided long, long ago that I am not tossing a bouquet - no way, no how!
I’m still undecided on the bouquet toss, but I love the idea of many bouquets! That way, everyone wins
I agree with French Fry. Anniversary dance is the way to go (though it does present a similar value judgement in that you have to decide where the people who dance are “together” or married. We didn’t require that they be married).
I love Miss French Fry’s idea. We are planning on giving our bouquet to the woman who is married the longest, which we know is his grandmother.
I did not toss the bouquet or wear a garter. It was not missed and not one person mentioned it. Most of my friends are married and it would have really singled out those that weren’t. I’ve never liked this tradition anyway.
We had all intentions of doing the Anniversary dance until my grandmother fell ill and wasn’t able to attend. It would have been obvious that my grandparents were the longest married couple, and we didn’t want to make it harder than necessary on him. Most of my friends are still single, so there was a big crowd on the dance floor for the toss, I think it went well other than my cousin laying someone out
I am so old fashioned…I am totally doing the bouquet toss. I have actually never participated in one!
traditions aren’t necessarily good things, and i’m inclined to think that the bouquet toss is one tradition best left behind. the implication/suggestion of the toss is that all women are clamoring to get married and will fight tooth and nail to land a husband. i certainly wouldn’t characterize any of my single friends that way and wouldn’t want them to be forced to pantomime those sentiments in front of a crowd.
I saw this at a wedding, where the bride presented her bouquet to her mother with words of thanks and recognizing her for all her mom’s help and for ‘making her the person that she was’
Loved it, not a dry eye in the house and so special. I’m looking forward to suprising my mom in the same way.
I won’t be doing the toss either. Instead we’ll be presenting my bouquet to the couple married the longest and inviting all of the married couples up to have a special dance with us.
Personally, I think the bouquet toss is fun. My only advice there is not to play Single Ladies! It was funny the first time we saw it… but not the second, third, or fourth.
You can always ask ALL the ladies to try and catch it. I think that’s what we’ll do.
Also, personally, I don’t like little toss bouquets. if you’re doing to do it, do it.
I’ve never been a fan of the tradition, and have always been embarrassed by the meaning behind it. That being said, I LOVED Brushetta’s idea of making a bouquet of scratch offs. That’s something I would consider doing, but I’d have all ladies partake.
I am scrapping the toss. I always HATED them, but I’m not doing it is because my sister/MOH and many cousins are older than me and still not married. I know it’s sensitive topic and I feel the bouquet toss would just be kind of slap in the face to them.
I thought I would just not do it, but I love the idea about giving it to the couple that has been married the longest. Or to my mom. Think I might just have to take one of these ideas…. :o)
Skipping it in lieu of more time to busta move on the dance floor…
I always make a beeline for the restroom before the bouquet toss. I’ll probably just give it to my mom or stick that sucker in some water or something.
i find it embarrassing.
i’ve read about brides handing the ‘dummy bouquet’ to the longest-married couple in the crowd instead. i think that’s sweet
We’re swapping the toss for a game of capture the flag using the garter and the bouquet as the flags. It’ll be girls against boys and it wont matter if they’re single or not. I love the scratch off idea, that might incentives them to participate! I’m also providing flip-flops for those ladies wearing heels.
I went to a wedding once where all the single women were given a looooong ribbon that they held in one hand & the bride held all of the girls ribbons in her hands. The bride was blindfolded & we had to walk around her maypole style… She’d randomly drop the ribbons & if yours was dropped you had to sit down. The last girl standing gets the bouquet.
We didn’t do the toss and no one even mentioned it to me. In our group, it’s starting to be uncommon. We only had 2 single girls at our wedding, so I felt like it would single them out in a weird way if we did do it.
We’re scrapping the traditions — both of them. My FI was really disappointed at first about not doing the garter until we went to a wedding where there were about three men out there to catch the garter. And it was awkward and clearly nobody was having fun with it. They also made me go out to catch the bouquet, even though I kept protesting I had a ring and a date. I was *seriously* pissed about it, and he knew it. We also counted up our single friends and realized at our wedding there would be one guy to catch the garter. Plus I have MAJOR issues with my new husband taking something off of my body (and some people do it with teeth!! Eww!!) in front of my FATHER. Um, NO.
I don’t think he gave a wit about the bouquet, though he was confused as to why it would be “hurtful” for my single friends. It’s one thing to be a single guy; it’s another entirely to be a single girl. One is George Clooney, the other is Jennifer Aniston.
I have two friends who might get engaged in the next year — I’m hoping one of their boyfriends will propose before my wedding, and I can give my bouquet to her. That way I’m still carrying out the tradition, but in a kind and thoughtful way.
We didn’t do the garter or bouquet toss either, and no one mentioned it. I like the previous suggestion that if you’re going to do it have all the women out on the floor, not just the single ones.
I like the fortune bouquet, people still get a ‘toss’, but more people end up with something and you don’t have to single out the singletons.
@stephanie- with his TEETH?? ewwwwwwww! you poor thing!!
Ooooh I hate the bouquet toss. I either leave before it happens or hide in the bathroom. I love the idea of a gift card or scratch off toss! Or the thing RB saw with the “maypole”! That’s pretty awesome!
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Miss Lamb, Norfolk
Age and Occupation: 25, Homeland Security Consultant
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Graduate Student
Engagement Date: January 2009
Wedding Date: January 2010
Venue: Trinity Presbyterian Church/Harrison Opera House
About Me: I’m a Homeland Security Consultant with a tendency towards pulling office pranks, taking lunch breaks, and drinking Wawa shakes. I’m also an English major with a serious obsession with alliteration and rhymes. While I’m not keeping America safe, I’m training for half marathons and the Escape from Alcatraz swim. Or moving for the third time this year. Or baking. Or wedding crafting. Or crying about wedding planning. All the while, I’m getting myself into Lucille Ball-esque scrapes and making Jim Carey-esque faces. Our big fat Czech/Baptist/Jewish/Italian wedding is a combination of vintage eclectic, DIY, and little spoonful of sugar from our Event Coordinator. It’s going to be a Norfolk flavored wedding with the verve of an only-daughter-blow-out bash!
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