Wedding Blog
When Mr. French Fries and I throw dinner parties… I mean, er… when Mr. French Fries and I have friends over for drinks and apps while we decide where we should go out for dinner, we don’t put on smooth jazz, Kenny G instrumentals, or Rat Pack classics for background music. Typically, I put on one of the OnDemand music channels we get with our digital cable (that is if I can set my wine glass down long enough to grab the remote and turn something on).
When thinking about our cocktail and dinner music, I knew that going with the standard “Dinner Hour” selections that most DJs provide wouldn’t be exactly what we had in mind.
Luckily, we’re working with an open-minded DJ who has told us that we can customize our cocktail and dinner music to our hearts’ content. I think the exact words out of his mouth were, “Basically, you can pick whatever you want. If we don’t have it in our files, we’ll get it by the time your wedding rolls around.” Jackpot. Since we’re allowed to customize every aspect of our wedding playlist as we go, anytime we hear a song and think, ‘man… I need to dance to this at our wedding!’ or conversely, ‘there is no way I want this shizz played at our wedding,’ we can go onto our handy-dandy personalized website and mark the song appropriately.
Mr. French Fries and I have lots of songs that we love, but aren’t exactly dance floor-worthy. It’s kind of hard to shake your groove thang to Damien Rice or The Postal Service. So, we’re considering doing somewhat alternative music for cocktail/dinner hour, to include these songs. They’re potentially perfect for cocktail and dinner hour, except… well, except that people expect to hear Rat Pack classics while chewing on their filet. Kenny G wafting through the cocktail hour, his saxophone crooning over everyone’s conversation. They don’t expect to hear Death Cab for Cutie or Radiohead or even John Mayer or Coldplay. Would our guests recognize this music? And even if they didn’t recognize it, would they even enjoy listening to it?
It might be a gamble, and we’ll probably mix in some of the “traditional” songs just for safety’s sake, but I know that in the end, this is the right choice for us. It’s what we’d put on for background music if we were having everyone over to our house, and really, that’s the feeling that we’re going for anyway. It’s what reflects us as a couple, and that’s what this is all about, right?
Did you give thought to not only the dance music but also the cocktail hour and dinner hour music? How did you pick songs that were liked or at least tolerated by everyone?
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We did a cocktail hour/dinner alternative mix and people absolutely loved it. I think the key is finding music that is easy to listen to at low level and easy to talk over.
hi..what about getting some of those cocktail hour songs in an instrumental version?
Just a thought…
We played things like Coldplay, Frou Frou, and Radiohead while everyone was eating. After the fact people told us they loved the nontraditional music! Like you said, it’s the only time we could mix in our Indie/Alt type music.
During the transition between cocktail hour and dinner, we played techno-lounge (I don’t know the right name for the genre) like Budda Bar, Thievery Corporation, and Cafe del Mar. Heard of them? Mostly instrumental.
(The rest was Rat Pack type stuff with a sprinkling of Nina Simone and Dina Washington.)
Miss FF, I think you should just go for it! We have to transition people out of the old and into the new!! (And who says you can’t shake it to Postal Service? It’s just a…. slow, kinda spastic shake.)
@Mrs. Perfume, I love that type of music (er, downtempo, maybe? that’s what I always called it). I’m actually thinking of walking down the aisle to Thievery Corporation!
This is exactly what we’re planning on doing! Actually, we want an all-Beatles and Bowie cocktail hour, with plenty of modern alternative for the dinner. I would steer clear of instrumental versions, though, because they usually sound like elevator music.
I think it’s great when couples incorporate their likes in the wedding, especially in the music. We’re not doing any traditional music during the ceremony, so we probably won’t do it for the rest of the wedding either!
I always play Trick Daddy’s “I’m a Thug” to kick off dinner. No joke.
Do it and def. play some DCFC! They might not recognize it but I think most would like it. 
I just like your Corinne Bailey Rae reference in the title. and I wanted to announce that her song will be stuck in my head all day long.
Holy crap. I love you French Fries. We have the exact same taste in music! We’ll be playing those bands/that type of music during our cocktail/dinner!
I actually like the rat pack stuff and big band/swing and The Mr listens to some pretty hardcore punk (I thought he’d outgrow it by 20 but that didn’t happen. but I don’t think our guests would enjoy it as much as we would, I just can’t see my grandma eating dinner to some random Boston underground punk band..
I think that playing slower/less dancy/dare i say emo-ish indie music during cocktail hour/dinner is super brilliant! That stuff is hard to dance too, but oh so good! And I think most guests will be pleasantly surprised to hear music they aren’t that familiar with- after all they’re at YOUR wedding not just SOME wedding.
As long as it’s at a level where people can hear themselves, I honestly don’t know if anyone REALLY pays attention to the music during cocktail hour and dinner hour, so I think it’s safe to play whatever you want! Those that do notice will probably appreciate the change in pace from the standards…
We’re just playing songs from the mix tapes we’ve given each other over the years. Most (of course) are love songs, but there’s country, rock, pop, jazz, etc. There’s a LOT of different stuff. : ) I don’t know if we’ll have music during the picnic, though. Probably just for the ceremony & dance.
We’re debating playing some of our favorite not really danceable music during the dinner hour - ie Metallica and our University’s Marching Band.
Our venue actually had satellite radio, so we used one of our favorite stations during dinner (similar to the music you describe) and folks really enjoyed it. So I think your plan sounds right on!
@LittleWit: Who wouldn’t want a little “Enter Sandman” with dinner? I love it!
Friends of mine read a Metallica song at their wedding as if it were a poem “by James Hetfield” LOL.
I think that’s a great idea! I don’t really want Rat Pack stuff played during my cocktail hour/dinner either. I’m hoping we can do a customized playlist as well.
OK I’m with Miss French Fries, Miss Rainbow, and Mrs Perfume… I’m all about the Indy/downbeat electronica genres, it’s pretty much all I listen to. Our first dance will most likely be the Sia/Zero 7 tune “Destiny”. So I’m barely focusing on the dancing part of the musical selections - I’m hoping the DJ will just run with tried-and-true and/or oldies (MJ, Billy Joel?). My “must-play” lists will probably end up being played only during dinner hour, but that’s okay!
We’ll definitely have some different tunes, but as long as it’s not hurting their ears, they’ll get over it.
I would loooove to hear any of your examples during a dinner hour. And I think others will get into it, too!
I love this! Most likely we will also do this both my fiancee and I love alt music and as you said its not really dancing music!
I vote yes, play the songs you love during food time!
We didn’t really have enough time closer to the day to detail every song the DJ should play, but he did an amazing job after we gave him the vibe we wanted and our music tastes.
We attribute everyone haven’t an amazing time and dancing until the last minute a good sing that the music was spot on.
dang, I always get excited and post… forgetting to check my spelling first. Woops!
*having not haven’t.
I totally agree! I was just telling FI how I have so much music I love that means so much to me, but people don’t want to dance to Smashing Pumpkins all night. Playing it during the cocktail hour is a perfect fix! Thanks for the idea.
My FI just finalized our cocktail hour play list tonight! It is perfect–Arcade Fire, White Stripes, Modest Mouse, Laura Veirs, Kaki King, Stars. The tempo and mood are perfect and the songs are so us. As long as we play music people can dance to later, we think no one will mind. Of course there will be some alt dancing music, MGMT anyone?
we played lovey songs from Deathcab, Hellogoodbye, Plain White Ts, Paramore, the all american rejects, and a few others before the ceremony and i actually got alot of compliments on it and one of my very country aunts BEGGED for our prewedding CD lol
We played all alternative/indie music during dinner. People loved it! We did a lot of mellow-ish rock with fuzzy guitars. It was totally us and so much fun to make the playlist!
We are also skipping the standard music during cocktail hour-so many of my faves have already been mentioned. Just to name a few more, Imogen Heap, Robin Thicke, songs to create a relaxed vive. Still thinking of the dinner mix, but definitely avoiding the Sinatra our DJ suggested as a standard.
I say go for it!
i love your type of laid back music and totally agree it’s not the dancing kind of music. but i think mixing it in with the classics is perfect!! people won’t be listening that closely. they’ll be talking!
I definitely pay attention to music and I love it when a couple tries to share a bit of them throughout the day. This is your day, your food, your music, your ambiance and I think that theres no better way to set the mood for the reception but it to be your type of a cocktail hour. The only thought I have is listen to your mix a few times before the wedding to make sure the transitions aren’t odd or that the songs are set on different volumes and blow peoples ears out
Kudos on stickin to your own style!
I just went to a wedding this month where during the dinner hour, the DJ invited people to come up and dance. It was a great way to get people mingling but also to avoid guests just sitting there waiting for their next course. The best part about the dinner dancing was that the couple selected a few slow songs but also traditional Irish folk songs so there was a sing-a-long during dinner! I love your idea for the Postal Service though!
I’m leaving the music up to him- he knows and cares about it waaaaay more than I do. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t even bother with it!
I say GO FOR IT! I went to a friend’s wedding where they played the alternative music that they loved…including a few of the groom’s band’s songs, and it was fantastic. (However, I should note that I’m a bit biased because this is the music I enjoy.) I left wishing I could have a burned cd of their playlist!!
that’s a really cool idea, you should totally go for it, we haven’t touch the music area, but i yhink something like this would be fun
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Miss French Fries, Milwaukee
Age and Occupation: 27, Paralegal
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 35, Investments Advisor
Engagement Date: September 20, 2008
Wedding Date: June 2010
Venue: Ceremony: Catholic Church, Reception: Hotel Ballroom
About Me: I'm a Midwestern girl who longs to live in a warmer climate (my feet would be happy in flip flops any day!). I love travel, impromptu napping, grilled cheese sandwiches, my iPhone, singing with reckless abandon in my car, and Mr. French Fries.
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