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Seeking out wedding vendors is a tough, time-consuming task. I looked at ads in local wedding magazines, received referrals from venues, and asked newly married friends. After swimming through a sea of unfamiliar names, I had a bright idea: I’d ask my mom! She always knows what to do!
Mommy and me <3
She thought of some friends and relatives off the top of her head, and I hesitated. “Is it okay to ask them? Won’t they want to relax and enjoy the wedding as normal guests?” She shooed away my concerns, assuring me that they would only say yes if they wanted to.
She said she would start asking around, which sounded great to this shy, unassertive bride! Here’s who we’ve recruited so far:
I asked my mom if I should draw up contracts with them, and she said that it’s not necessary. As long as they’re free on our wedding day, we’ll be all set! I have to admit, the easy-breeziness of it all worries me. What if something happens—what if they have to go out of state or they get sick that weekend?
But my nerves settle when I realize that these are people who have known me since I was a tiny tot. They care about me, and if something went wrong, they would make it right without a second thought. I feel relieved knowing that the details are in the hands of people I know and love.
Do you have any family-member-vendors or (as other bees have called them) friendors?
We’re swimming in friendors! Our officiant is my FI’s boss (he’s a church musician). We’re getting the church and music for free since it’s FI’s job. I also have family friends who are pro wedding photogs and videographers, and they’d be offended if I asked anyone else to be there on my big day. I was also a little worried about contracts, but at least for the photographer and videographer, our reception venue requires them to sign a contract with the museum… so at least we’ve got something in writing. Also, I hired a DOC that I *don’t* know, so she’ll be able to transcend any of those “friend” boundaries I’d otherwise be uncomfortable broaching.
Wow you’ve got great genes! Your mom is gorgeous and super thoughtful to boot! I think it’ll be wonderful to have familiar faces helping out on one of the most amazing days of your life!
Congrats 
we had several friendors. An aunt helped me with flowers. A bridesmaid did my makeup and her sister did my hair. We had friendor photographers (which was good, but not as great as it could have been)
For the most part things went really, really well. It was wonderful to have the help of those who love me and cared about the success of the wedding for my sake! it was also pretty relaxed and comfortable. i wouldn’t worry too much, unless you have something to worry about (i.e. an unreliable friendor)
Yay! for friendors. we have friendor caterers for the rehearsal and wedding reception and a friendor dj.
The picture of you and your mom is too cute! And lucky gal to have so many amazing friendors! I don’t think we have any, so we’ll be going the traditional route.
We were surrounded by friendors!
Our DJ was a college friend (has his own business), our photographer was my teammate’s little sis who wants to start her own business, our officiant was my husband’s uncle, our DOC was my MOH’s good friend that wants to start her own business, flowers and decorative pumpkins were from my husband’s sister’s garden business, my hair was done by my mom’s good friend, and my entire family showed up the morning of the wedding to set up our park venue too!
It was special to be surrounded by all our friends and they were so willing to chip in! Everyone loves weddings and wants to be apart of them! DON’T be afraid to ask!
I haven’t been disappointed yet with all the hard work my family and friendors put into our day. I think that they work harder for you than some people would!
Don’t forget to give them a BIG thank you! I made sure to write them all thank you cards and include either a little bit of money, a fun piece of jewelry, or a bottle of their favorite liquor or a gift card.
You and your mom are just precious.
One of my bridesmaids is a graphic designer and her design skills are her present - SWEET!
She’s currently working on the programs.
My maid of honor is a hair stylist/nursing student so she is doing all the hair. I’m actually paying her to do the bridesmaids’ hair (present to them) and she is doing my hair as her wedding gift.
My stepmom and stepsister make wedding cakes so - done.
Our photographer works with my FI at the dealership, but doesn’t feel confident in the economy to leave his day job to follow his dream. He’s a rock star though and he gave us basically a 65% discount and we get to keep all the cds.
I work at my church so the pastor officiating has become a very good friend of mine. She is offering her services for free (and so is the wedding coordinator).
Weddings are so expensive so it really helps to know people in the business that can make it cheaper.
We may end up using friends as DOC and Ceremony music. I feel so funny asking… I should get over that. I agree with Mrs. Emerald you and your mom are adorable!
I don’t but I wish I did! You and your mom are so cute!
Your mother is beautiful!
We’ll have a couple, it’s makes getting it all together so fun.
I think it’s nice that you have so many family members involved in the wedding day. My mom’s oldest friend just happens to be a trained pastry chef. Of course, she made our cake!
Our officiant is my fiance’s former boss (my fiance worked at the church) so we got his services for free. My MOH used to work as a florist. I used to do graphic design. A friend of mine does hair/make-up. Another friend used to work food services, so she is going to keep the buffet stocked and food handled. His mom helped stuff envelopes and stuff like that. All are helping decorate. We do have a DOC from the church who will be able to manage everything so we don’t have to worry about it.
My fiance and I are totally blessed!
I’ve been hesitant to ask for family help for wedding-related stuff too. I also thought that people would just want to be a guest and relax at our wedding, but my mom (much like yours!) assured me that people help because they want to, and because it helps them feel more connected to you on your wedding day.
Thanks, girls!
It’s very reassuring to hear that many of you are recruiting friendors and family members, too. I’m hoping to have a few more join our ranks, as we still don’t have a DJ or videographer!
Our photographer is a friendor and so is our DJ and we’re very excited about both. I agree cute pic…you and your mom are beautiful.
My aunt is a florist - and has been for years (I even help out during the holidays at her shop) so she’ll likely be doing the flowers. One of my very good friends is a hair stylist so she’ll definitely be there for that! I know tons of photographers (and some have already offered) but I’m not sure I’ll use anybody that’s a friendor, to be honest - I’m VERY picky about my photography!
our whole wedding was Friendor-friendly
we have lots of talented friends and family
and they were happy to pitch in
made for a super fun day
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Mrs. Parfait, Chicago Age and Occupation: 26, Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Senior Online Consultant Engagement Date: February 14, 2009 Wedding Date: April 2010 Venue: Signature Events About Me: I have a soft spot for all things sweet and romantic. Desserts, love songs, sappy movies? Yes, yes, and ohh yes. My fiance and I enjoy singing to our dogs, creating crazy ice cream sundaes, and generally being lovey dovey cuddle bunnies. We also do socially acceptable things like dancing, throwing Frisbees, playing high stakes board games, and taking unreasonably fun road-trips. We're planning a Korean/Serbian wedding with plenty of playful, personal touches!
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