Weddingbee Blog

Be sure to check out all the posts in our Relationship Series here!

~~~

How do your birth orders affect your relationship? Do you tend to date people of a specific birth order?

Mrs. Hydrangea - Our birth order totally affects us. Mr. H is the middle child and I’m the baby (by FAR, my brothers are 15 and 17 years older then me).

While he’s the middle child, Mr. H took on the more of the eldest child’s role as the family caretaker from a young age. Since his parents sometimes have difficulties with translation, he usually goes with them to the bank, doctor, etc. when it’s something super important. He has always held a good job and done the responsible thing which, at times, held him back from really experiencing life.

I, on the other hand, was just the opposite. My parents helped me with a lot and, if I am in need of advice, I turn to them first. Always. This has been hard for Mr. H as he is not used to relying on his parents for any kind of support, except emotional. I am also spoiled (surprise!) and it’s hard for me to hear “no” sometimes when I’ve pretty much always gotten my way.

All in all, Mr. H has been pretty patient with me, and I’ve learned to adjust to splitting up more of my time when he is helping his family. Again, it’s a balancing act that we are figuring out along the way.

Mrs. Mouse - The Dude and I are both the oldest child: he has one younger sister and I have two younger brothers. While I exhibit typical oldest child traits (ambitious, organized, a bit bossy, like to be in control), he doesn’t really fit that mold. In fact, I think he was babied a bit in his family: his little sister used to beat up people in school who were mean to him!

Mrs. Peep Toe - I totally think that birth order affects a relationship. He’s the oldest and I am the youngest. I think that more importantly, he has a baby sister and I have an older brother, so we understand each other better. And yes, we totally play the role of youngest and oldest. Scratch that: I totally play the role of the youngest. Mr. Peep just goes along with it!

Mrs. Mary Jane - I’m an only child. I never really gave much thought to birth order when dating (heck, I’m just happy Mr. Mary Jane has siblings: it means my kids’ll have uncles (and hopefully aunts someday)! That said, Mr. Mary Jane is the oldest, and several years older than his brothers. What’s it mean? Well, to us I think it means we’re both really really stubborn. (We’ve yet to determine who’s more stubborn: I’m sure it’s me, whereas he’s convinced otherwise. Someday he’ll come around, haha.) We’re also both quite independent and/or rebellious in some ways, and extremely well-disciplined in others (thanks, over-protective parents!!). We could be a nightmare of a couple, but thankfully, we recognize our similarities and differences and use them to produce a fierce, determined vibe that works great for us.

Mrs. Gummi Bear - We’re both the youngest, so we’re both spoiled rotten and bratty. This makes for some interesting conflicts… like finding out who can be more stubborn and ridiculous. Obviously, I always come out on top! Should I be proud of that?

Mrs. Cowboy Boot - I’m the baby and he’s the eldest. I have a really good relationship with my only brother, who’s also older, so I can see why Mr. CB and I get along so well. That, and he likes to “be the man” in the relationship and take care of things that I don’t, um, necessarily want to (like hammering things, and killing spiders).

Miss Rainbow - Wow, I’m with Peep Toe. He’s the oldest and I’m the youngest (and the only girl, so you know I’m spoiled!). For the most part we unintentionally play into those roles. I admit, I can be a bit stubborn and bratty, and I usually get my way. He, on the other hand, is pretty level headed, and sometimes picks on me (in a funny way) just to get a rise out of me, as I’m sure a lot of older siblings do to their younger sibs.

Mrs. Penguin - I’m an only child and Mr. Pengy is the oldest of 3. Our relationship definitely reflects our birth order. Mr. Peng basically lives around me. I am kind of a hurricane of a housemate… I’ll mess the place up and then one day freak out and clean it until it’s spotless, while Mr. Peng struggles to just keep it liveable, all the time. Mr. Peng is very quick to compromise or just let me do things my way (even if they’re wrong… he kind of likes laughing at me when I insist on doing something the wrong way when he’s already warned me repeatedly that it’s probably not going to work out). As an oldest, he usually knows what’s right but is willing to watch situations play out for the sake of peace or compromise, while I as an only child, try to assert my independence and do things the way I want to do them, right or wrong. I don’t think I was spoiled as a child but I was really independent, and didn’t have to share or wait for things, while Mr. Peng shared a bathroom, car, and household with 2 other siblings, so he has a better grasp on living with others than I do.

Mrs. Joey - I’m the oldest and he’s the youngest. I think it works out well.

Mrs. Pinot Noir - It is interesting that there are so many youngest bees with oldest spouses. We fall in that category too and I think we do play these roles. He likes to tease me a lot - it is how he shows affection - and sometimes I can be a bit of a brat if I don’t get my way.

Mrs. Labrador - I’m the 4th of 6 children. Furthermore, I’m the only sibling with a gap in age on both sides (my older sister is 5 years my senior and my younger sister is 4 years my junior). Mr. Lab only has a sister and they’re just a few years apart. I definitely think it makes a difference because Mr. Lab can be a bit selfish sometimes (unknowingly!). His sister is the same. But I’ve had to learn the hard way how to share and be aware of others’ feelings. Before Mr. Lab, I generally dated younger, but after I met him, I wondered how I ever did that! He’s almost 5 years older and soooo much more mature because of it.

Miss Lamb - My Lamb Lover and I are both eldest. We butt heads, fight over who gets to be in charge, and sometimes boss each other around. We also stick up for each other, are extremely loyal, and excel at administration. We’re definitely the older siblings that our younger ones generally don’t like, but know they can always count on us in a time of need. We talked pretty extensively about what this means for us in premarital counseling - there can be more than one right way to do things and we have to learn to compromise a bit more.

Miss Frozen Yogurt - I definitely think birth order can affect relationships. I’m the middle and he’s the oldest. I’m definitely very hard headed, and he’s more easy-going, probably because he had to allow his little siblings to get their way more often.

Miss Cookie - Mr. Cookie and I are both first born, and we both fit the stereotype of the oldest children. We are both stubborn and bull-headed but very loyal and devoted to one another. I don’t think either of us could be with anyone who was in the middle or younger in the birth order because of our personalities.

Mrs. Duckling - I’m the oldest of two kids and Mr. Ducky is the middle of 3 boys. With him being from a family of all boys and me being 4 1/2 years older than my brother, I’d say we both deal with conflict differently. However, we are both caretakers in our family from me being the oldest and him being the middle child who has some perfectionism and tries to keep the peace.

Miss Ramen - We are both the oldest in our families. Mr. R has a younger brother, and I have a younger sister and brother. I think that although we both have some of those first-born characteristics, I have much more of a firstborn personality. Mr. Ramen strives to please more than I do, but I think because he’s so chill and laid back, he doesn’t feel the need to be as competitive as I am - although the man can be pretty stubborn!

Miss Hamster - I’m the youngest and he’s the oldest. This occasionally causes some conflict (I sometimes think he’s bossy, he sometimes thinks I’m too laid-back). But for the most part, he likes taking care of me and I like being taken care of.

Miss Moonbeam - Hmm, he’s oldest and I’m a middle child (though I’m the first girl). I think the first girl is always a caretaker in many ways, which I am (along with my mother). He’s very cool-headed and even-keeled, which is very ‘oldest sibling’ and completely the opposite of his rebellious younger brother. I like that we’re both responsible and caring.

Miss Trail Mix - We’re both the oldest and act like it… slightly bossy, responsible, etc. I think it’s better this way for us.

Mrs. Bunny - I definitely think the fact that we’re both oldest children affects our relationship. We both hate change and sometimes our stubborn tendencies can cause tension. Unlike our younger siblings, we feel a deep responsiblity to our families, especially our parents, so we’ve stuck close to home and don’t ever want to move away permanently.

~~~

What about you? Do you notice that you tend to be attracted to or date certain people of a specific birth order?