Wedding Blog
If it was completely up to me, our wedding would be pretty non-traditional. I’d love to incorporate some fun ideas I’ve seen in the online wedding world (Krispy Kreme donuts instead of a cake? YES PLEASE!). But alas, Mr Trail Mix is actually surprisingly traditional when it comes to weddings and has shot down a lot of my ideas. (A cocktail-style dinner reception and signature drink options are two that come to mind.) But in spite of his many protests, I have managed to incorporate a bit of non-traditional flair into our wedding, as well as doing away with a few traditions I wasn’t excited about. Here’s the rundown:
1. I’ll tell you a little secret: I’m not wearing a veil (I hope Mr Trail Mix doesn’t read this… okay, who am I kidding, there is no way he’s reading this). I love veils on other brides but it just doesn’t feel right for me. I tried a few on at Kleinfeld’s when I bought my dress but they didn’t make me feel any more bridal. And truthfully, I’ve always seen myself walking down the aisle wearing a wreath of flowers with ribbons down the back. And that’s what I’m planning on wearing. Something like this, only a little smaller and more delicate:
2. We’re abandoning the bouquet/garter toss traditions. Not only do I dislike the idea of putting my single friends on the spot, why would I want to throw something so pretty?
Well, actually, I’ll be giving it away after the anniversary dance (a new tradition that I’d never heard of until I got engaged and started reading wedding blogs but I LOVE the idea). The garter toss makes me uncomfortable and Mr TM didn’t care about doing it, so that went out the window, as well.
3. I already posted about our cake. We’re not having much of one, just a little presentation cake to cut to make the relatives happy. Then, it’s strawberry delicious goodness.
4. I want to walk down the aisle to the Beatles’ song “In My Life” and the wedding party to walk down to the Beatles’ song “Here Comes The Sun”. I know I’m not the first one to think of this. but it’s definitely not “Canon in D”.
I would have pushed the boundaries of tradition even more if it weren’t for Mr Tradition Mix. But since weddings and marriage are all about compromise, I decided to let the boy have his say. Things such as an ice cream truck for dessert, an Asian-themed dinner, and a bluegrass band all went by the wayside. I’m OK with giving some of these things up because ultimately, this wedding is a reflection of the two of us. And I think it’s going to be pretty damn amazing, regardless of how traditional it is.
What’s non-traditional about your wedding?
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Love your ideas! Im also not much of a veil girl. Just pictured myself white flowers in my hair! Also, Im wearing red shoes. I hate white shoes and havent worn white shoes since i was about 10. Also no white flowers near me. I love color!!! My bouquet is full of yellow flowers! My mom is happy that I found a white dress that I loved because I was also considering wearing a pale yellow dress since I love yellow so much and knew it would be soo me! I love seeing all the elements at a wedding that is so the bride. It makes it much more special. I hope you can add in more un-traditional touches throughout your big day
After seeing everyone in the blog world wearing colorful shoes to their wedding, I thought that maybe my family would know it’s ok. But when I tell people that I want to wear blue shoes, they look at me aghast and shocked. Who knew such little things could ruffle feathers. Your choices are great.
I didn’t wear a veil either, they just felt weird when I tried them on. We also skipped the bouquet/garter toss. I wish I would have been able to convince my mom and sis that colored shoes are acceptable these days! 
we plan on going more casual than formal but that has nothing to do with tradition. lol. but i am coveting blue shoes. i remember the pain a friend went through trying to match the whites in her dress and shoes and thought that was ridiculous. so blue shoes it is for me. no need to worry about matching!
Miss Moonbeam people are shocked when something is being done that hasnt been done at any wedding that they have been to. I say go for what you like. I love seeing the creativity that brides bring. It’s sooo refreshing. We are also doing a first look before walking down the aisle. My family almost fainted talking about bad luck..blah blah blah. I know us as a couple, and how we want to be able to speak to each other. I would not be able to stand still during the ceremony if we dont do this. I know us. Only you two know your relationship so do what would make both of you happy whether its full on, Princess Diana traditional, or something offbeat and quirky.
I also didn’t wear a veil, do the bouquet/garter toss, have a traditional cake, or walk down the aisle to a traditional song. We also didn’t really have a bridal partyand didn’t do any toasts.
Ohhhh! Donut cake! I actually sent Mr P a photo of one our local donut place made- it was to die for! Who knows, donuts might get mixed in with the cupcakes… we’ll see. I am totally on the fence about the garter/bouquet toss.
PS I forgot my blue shoes… I see so many colored shoes on brides these days I don’t even think about the blue shoes being an out of the ordinary thing.
Good for you TM. I think it’s so important to incorporate the elements of your day that make it, well, you (oh, and your hubby to be). We are foregoing a lot of traditional elements too, and although my immediate family is mostly onboard, I’m not sure how my extended family will feel. But, they won’t know until the wedding day, so oh well!
I am definintely not a veil girl either, and my mom is having a hard time with it (she’s also having a hard time with me not wanting to change my name, but that’s a different story altogether). We’ll be doing alot of things that aren’t traditional and our family will mostly be okay with them (I hope!).
I love the idea of an ice cream truck for dessert though! That’s fantastic!
I’m in the same boat, he’s definitely the more traditional one and I’m trying to make sure he gets what he wants for the day as well.
Miss MB: Same with me! My mom thinks I’m a total weirdo for wearing yellow shoes, ha!
We’re not doing a bouquet/garter toss either! The whole tradition annoys me. Also, we’d like to catch a great deal of our cocktail hour, and instead of having our own limo/car, we’re riding the coach we’re chartering for our wedding party with them to our reception venue. I think it’s nice to have a mix of tradition and non-tradition, and it sounds like you two are dancing along that delicate line really well.
“Mr. Tradition Mix” - love it! I encountered the same problem. I had no idea that the bouquet toss and dudes in tuxes meant so much to my mister. But the few things he wants, I’ll let him have. Haha! Love your ideas 
Great post! I think I started out being much less traditional, but have found my planning sliding toward more traditional… I think it is a combination of many things including family/friend expectations and my own settling in to the bride thing (not that being a bride means you shouldn’t have non-traditional/offbeat aspects of your wedding!).
Still, I love your ideas (An ice cream truck is brilliant!) and your discussions of compromise. You’re making your wedding celebrate who you all are, which is what it should be all about!
I love it! I’m so far from traditional it’s sad. So for me, I’m doing a non-white dress (although the ceremony room will be white-washed) and no veil, but a pillbox hat. I’m the only one in the bridal party that will carry flowers, we are having an evening ceremony (8pm) followed by an 1.5 hour cocktail followed by BRUNCH and not dinner. NO garter toss, b/c that is a little wierd to me. My compromise is the cake, but we are also doing a cheesecake bar. FI is very traditional but has agreed to let me have the day of our dreams, as long as I promise to still look like a bride.
I sometimes think that my mom thinks my wedding is going to be a crazy affair, because I’m doing some “non-traditional” things! Good for you for sticking with what you feel is right. The thing my mom has had the hardest time with? Me not wearing a blusher.
@Miss French Fries: Um, what is a blusher????
Glad to hear there’s so many other brides out there veering on the non-traditional side…I’m totally wearing colorful shoes too!
We were very non-traditional. I’m Native American so we incorporated some cultural aspects, but not the full marriage ceremony. We had a non-denominational wedding, other than that. I had a friend sing our ceremony songs- which everyone loved! We included some of the traditional things- bouquet toss, etc.
I also didn’t where a veil. Did anyone else feel like there was a whale spout coming off the back of their head? I felt very 80’s… so it went out of the window.
Oh yeah- and I wore fuchsia shoes. To me that doesn’t seem very un-traditional, but more trendy I suppose.
My SO is also surprisingly traditional! We’ll have to see how it plays out when we actually have to make final decisions.
I had to look up what an anniversary dance was, but I love it!!
@gibbysgirl21 If you don’t mind sharing, what kind of cultural aspects did you incorporate into the wedding? I have Tuscarora heritage and I would love to honor that in the ceremony, but have not been able to find a lot of information…
Miss Trailmix - a blusher is the over-the-face veil
I’m going for a mostly traditional wedding, but I do love my teal shoes from DSW. Also, no bouquet toss for me as we’ve got a pretty small wedding. My MOH and BM want me to, but there are only like 4 girls who would be there to catch it, so I’m presenting it to my mom instead. We’re only have a 3 1/2 hour reception. Wedding starts at 11, and all should be done by 3. It’s short and a brunch affair, but just what we wanted!
Sounds like you guys are making some good compromises–good practice for marriage!
The MR. will be wearing dress pants with a nice shirt and tie, no suit jacket. I’m keeping my glasses and wearing a headband in leiu of a veil. Cute colorful shoes, no boquet/ garter toss, no traditional bridesmaids/ groomsmen and the best part HOMEMADE PIE BAR.(Which is starting to gain popularity but I’m totally ok with that!)
I love that it’s not really about “traditional” anymore, it’s just about what makes the bride and groom happy!
We’re not very traditional either. I’m not wearing a veil and I’ll also be walking down the aisle to the Beatles (Something…as chosen by my fiance). We’re also have a non-religious ceremony, getting married in the town we live in now (as opposed to in our mutual hometown), and we are planning pretty much the entire thing on our own (since our families + friends are 8 hours away).
& it’s always funny to hear how “traditional” some grooms can be! It sounds like you two are striking a great compromise between your different “wants” - excellent way to start a life-long partnership!
Yayyyy partially non-traditional ladies! My FI is traditional, too. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we’re all avid wedding blog readers and have seen the amazingness of when a couple really injects themselves into their weddings, but the men maybe haven’t? I know that’s my case– the FI bases what we should/have to have at our wedding based on what he’s seen at everyone else’s weddings.
He proposed with my great-grandmother’s ring and *then* we went to pick my ring together. I don’t want a cake (would vastly prefer a dessert bar with the focus on brownies and cookies), but he wants one, so we’re having a small one and probably a chocolate fountain. I’m wearing colorful wedding shoes (I actually blogged about that earlier today and scheduled it for Wednesday haha). We’re skipping the bouquet and garter tosses. We’re doing a sweetheart table, not a head table. I wasn’t set on him wearing a tux (why bother if he has a great 3-piece suit?), but he really wants to wear one, so there you have it.
My modus operandi is “against the grain,” so it’s funny that my FI is so traditional.
I have a ton of non-traditional elements. We’re making our own traditions and doing what we want. We aren’t doing the bouquet/garter toss either; we’re going to do a dance contest or something interesting - we haven’t decided yet.
I think weddings should be more about you and your fiance than about tradition (unless you two are about tradition).
I was weird about traditions. It was very important to me that we said very traditional vows, but I was OK with seeing Mr. DE before the ceremony. Among other things, we also said no to the bouquet and garter tosses and I don’t think anyone even missed them.
My FI would be SHOCKED every time I’d bring up an untraditional idea for the wedding. It was so cute! He would always say “Can we do that?” and I would say yes! of course, it’s our wedding!
So now he’s on board the untraditional wagon with me. We aren’t religious and we didn’t want a random officiant we didn’t know standing up with us. Soo…we’re getting married in a courthouse, and our ceremony will consist of having both of our parents stand up and say a few things about what love and marriage mean to them. After that, we’ll say our vows and party!
Other traditions we’re kicking to the curb: Garter toss (haven’t decided about the bouquet), I’m NOT doing the “something old, something new” stuff, we’ll probably see each other before the walk down the aisle, and I’m not wearing a veil/wearing white shoes/wearing a white dress (ivory, off white, gray, taupe, or silver maybe).
@MissLeah– I think wedding blogs definitely do help us come up with all sorts of wild and crazy ideas! My FI won’t look at them on his own, but once in awhile, he’ll glance through other blogs, and is of course, a proud reader & supporter of my blog!
I love the anniversary dance idea! It’s nice to honor commitment and love!
I think having my dress in white was the most traditional part of our wedding, ha!
These are great ideas! I’ve always wanted a garland of flowers in my hair, but I think I’ll have to do that for the rehearsal instead of the actual wedding.
I’m not having a boquet toss, garter toss, or cake cutting either. FI is making a small cake because he loves cake but other than that we will have a “2-bite” dessert buffet- all mini desserts like cheesecake, moussecake, lemon bars, pies, tarts, brownies, macaroons, etc. I am wearing colored shoes, a non white dress, and will only have my best friend as my bridal party. The bit I’m debating right now is the walk down the aisle. Do I go alone (I’m almost 40), do both parents walk me down, or do I have my father walk me down?
We, too are throwing out the garter and bouquet toss traditions! I’m pretty sure both of my dads (biological and step) will be walking me down the aisle. That’s not where the lack of tradition stops, however, those are the two that people are usually the most shocked about!
I totally want to incorporate the music of the Beatles into my ceremony. Not sure if the church will go for it, but I’m going to try my hardest. Maybe an instrumental version? Either that, or I just tell my pianist friend to do it anyways…would they kick us out of our own wedding?? I hope not!!
i’m so with you on the not singling out the single people for the garter toss. check this out http://juliannesmith.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/don%E2%80%99t-single-out-the-singles-for-the-wedding-garter-toss/ also, if you want to do the garter toss, but don’t want to loose your pretty garter, get a tossing garter. they are super simple, cheap and meant to be tossed!! thanks for your great post! glad to see that you are making your own traditions!
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Miss Trail Mix, New York
Age and Occupation: 26, PE Teacher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, MBA Student
Engagement Date: March 2009
Wedding Date: June 2010
Venue: Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
About Me: I'm a country girl who somehow found herself living in the Big Apple and loving every minute of it. I'm planning a rustic, country-chic wedding in my hometown in upstate New York and it's going to be a Party with a capital P. White wine, flea markets and running keep me happy and my friends, family and fiance are my world. I'm a little bit crafty, a little bit crazy but mostly just crazy in love.
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