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Mrs. Trail Mix, New York Age and Occupation: 26, PE Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, MBA Student Engagement Date: March 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: Tannery Pond at the Darrow School About Me: I'm a country girl who somehow found herself living in the Big Apple and loving every minute of it. I'm planning a rustic, country-chic wedding in my hometown in upstate New York and it's going to be a Party with a capital P. White wine, flea markets and running keep me happy and my friends, family and fiance are my world. I'm a little bit crafty, a little bit crazy but mostly just crazy in love.
About Mrs. Trail Mix

If it was completely up to me, our wedding would be pretty non-traditional. I’d love to incorporate some fun ideas I’ve seen in the online wedding world (Krispy Kreme donuts instead of a cake? YES PLEASE!). But alas, Mr Trail Mix is actually surprisingly traditional when it comes to weddings and has shot down a lot of my ideas. (A cocktail-style dinner reception and signature drink options are two that come to mind.) But in spite of his many protests, I have managed to incorporate a bit of non-traditional flair into our wedding, as well as doing away with a few traditions I wasn’t excited about. Here’s the rundown:

1. I’ll tell you a little secret: I’m not wearing a veil (I hope Mr Trail Mix doesn’t read this… okay, who am I kidding, there is no way he’s reading this). I love veils on other brides but it just doesn’t feel right for me. I tried a few on at Kleinfeld’s when I bought my dress but they didn’t make me feel any more bridal. And truthfully, I’ve always seen myself walking down the aisle wearing a wreath of flowers with ribbons down the back. And that’s what I’m planning on wearing. Something like this, only a little smaller and more delicate:

Traditional vs Non-Traditional: Where Do You Stand?  :  wedding decor Hairwr

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2. We’re abandoning the bouquet/garter toss traditions. Not only do I dislike the idea of putting my single friends on the spot, why would I want to throw something so pretty?

Traditional vs Non-Traditional: Where Do You Stand?  :  wedding decor Snippet01

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Well, actually, I’ll be giving it away after the anniversary dance (a new tradition that I’d never heard of until I got engaged and started reading wedding blogs but I LOVE the idea). The garter toss makes me uncomfortable and Mr TM didn’t care about doing it, so that went out the window, as well.

3. I already posted about our cake. We’re not having much of one, just a little presentation cake to cut to make the relatives happy. Then, it’s strawberry delicious goodness.

Traditional vs Non-Traditional: Where Do You Stand?  :  wedding decor Oncewe

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4. I want to walk down the aisle to the Beatles’ song “In My Life” and the wedding party to walk down to the Beatles’ song “Here Comes The Sun”. I know I’m not the first one to think of this. but it’s definitely not “Canon in D”.

I would have pushed the boundaries of tradition even more if it weren’t for Mr Tradition Mix. But since weddings and marriage are all about compromise, I decided to let the boy have his say. Things such as an ice cream truck for dessert, an Asian-themed dinner, and a bluegrass band all went by the wayside. I’m OK with giving some of these things up because ultimately, this wedding is a reflection of the two of us. And I think it’s going to be pretty damn amazing, regardless of how traditional it is.

What’s non-traditional about your wedding?

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37 Responses to “Traditional vs Non-Traditional: Where Do You Stand?”

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1.
Guest Icon
Guest
Golden8214

Love your ideas! Im also not much of a veil girl. Just pictured myself white flowers in my hair! Also, Im wearing red shoes. I hate white shoes and havent worn white shoes since i was about 10. Also no white flowers near me. I love color!!! My bouquet is full of yellow flowers! My mom is happy that I found a white dress that I loved because I was also considering wearing a pale yellow dress since I love yellow so much and knew it would be soo me! I love seeing all the elements at a wedding that is so the bride. It makes it much more special. I hope you can add in more un-traditional touches throughout your big day

 
2.
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Bee
Miss Moonbeam (message)  1,732 posts, Bumble bee

After seeing everyone in the blog world wearing colorful shoes to their wedding, I thought that maybe my family would know it’s ok. But when I tell people that I want to wear blue shoes, they look at me aghast and shocked. Who knew such little things could ruffle feathers. Your choices are great.

 
3.
Jessie516
Hostess
Jessie516 (message)  5,480 posts, Bee Keeper

I didn’t wear a veil either, they just felt weird when I tried them on. We also skipped the bouquet/garter toss. I wish I would have been able to convince my mom and sis that colored shoes are acceptable these days! ;)

 
4.
tea
Member
tea (message)  7,263 posts, Bee Keeper

we plan on going more casual than formal but that has nothing to do with tradition. lol. but i am coveting blue shoes. i remember the pain a friend went through trying to match the whites in her dress and shoes and thought that was ridiculous. so blue shoes it is for me. no need to worry about matching!

 
5.
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Guest
Golden8214

Miss Moonbeam people are shocked when something is being done that hasnt been done at any wedding that they have been to. I say go for what you like. I love seeing the creativity that brides bring. It’s sooo refreshing. We are also doing a first look before walking down the aisle. My family almost fainted talking about bad luck..blah blah blah. I know us as a couple, and how we want to be able to speak to each other. I would not be able to stand still during the ceremony if we dont do this. I know us. Only you two know your relationship so do what would make both of you happy whether its full on, Princess Diana traditional, or something offbeat and quirky.

 
6.
IA_Snowflake
Member
IA_Snowflake (message)  1,913 posts, Buzzing bee

I also didn’t wear a veil, do the bouquet/garter toss, have a traditional cake, or walk down the aisle to a traditional song. We also didn’t really have a bridal partyand didn’t do any toasts.

 
7.
Miss Pretzel
Bee
Miss Pretzel (message)  1,891 posts, Buzzing bee

Ohhhh! Donut cake! I actually sent Mr P a photo of one our local donut place made- it was to die for! Who knows, donuts might get mixed in with the cupcakes… we’ll see. I am totally on the fence about the garter/bouquet toss.

 
8.
Miss Pretzel
Bee
Miss Pretzel (message)  1,891 posts, Buzzing bee

PS I forgot my blue shoes… I see so many colored shoes on brides these days I don’t even think about the blue shoes being an out of the ordinary thing.

 
9.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Frozen Yogurt (message)  2,685 posts, Sugar bee

Good for you TM. I think it’s so important to incorporate the elements of your day that make it, well, you (oh, and your hubby to be). We are foregoing a lot of traditional elements too, and although my immediate family is mostly onboard, I’m not sure how my extended family will feel. But, they won’t know until the wedding day, so oh well!

 
10.
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Member
KMSull (message)  6,442 posts, Bee Keeper

I am definintely not a veil girl either, and my mom is having a hard time with it (she’s also having a hard time with me not wanting to change my name, but that’s a different story altogether). We’ll be doing alot of things that aren’t traditional and our family will mostly be okay with them (I hope!).

I love the idea of an ice cream truck for dessert though! That’s fantastic!

 
11.
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Member
KtobeC (message)  103 posts, Blushing bee

I’m in the same boat, he’s definitely the more traditional one and I’m trying to make sure he gets what he wants for the day as well.
Miss MB: Same with me! My mom thinks I’m a total weirdo for wearing yellow shoes, ha!

 
12.
Maestro
Member
Maestro (message)  190 posts, Blushing bee

We’re not doing a bouquet/garter toss either! The whole tradition annoys me. Also, we’d like to catch a great deal of our cocktail hour, and instead of having our own limo/car, we’re riding the coach we’re chartering for our wedding party with them to our reception venue. I think it’s nice to have a mix of tradition and non-tradition, and it sounds like you two are dancing along that delicate line really well.

 
13.
Sage
Member
Sage (message)  728 posts, Busy bee

“Mr. Tradition Mix” - love it! I encountered the same problem. I had no idea that the bouquet toss and dudes in tuxes meant so much to my mister. But the few things he wants, I’ll let him have. Haha! Love your ideas :)

 
14.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Snow (message)  916 posts, Busy bee

Great post! I think I started out being much less traditional, but have found my planning sliding toward more traditional… I think it is a combination of many things including family/friend expectations and my own settling in to the bride thing (not that being a bride means you shouldn’t have non-traditional/offbeat aspects of your wedding!).

Still, I love your ideas (An ice cream truck is brilliant!) and your discussions of compromise. You’re making your wedding celebrate who you all are, which is what it should be all about!

 
15.
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Member
farfromordinarybride (message)  555 posts, Busy bee

I love it! I’m so far from traditional it’s sad. So for me, I’m doing a non-white dress (although the ceremony room will be white-washed) and no veil, but a pillbox hat. I’m the only one in the bridal party that will carry flowers, we are having an evening ceremony (8pm) followed by an 1.5 hour cocktail followed by BRUNCH and not dinner. NO garter toss, b/c that is a little wierd to me. My compromise is the cake, but we are also doing a cheesecake bar. FI is very traditional but has agreed to let me have the day of our dreams, as long as I promise to still look like a bride.

 
16.
Miss French Fries
Bee
Miss French Fries (message)  2,217 posts, Buzzing bee

I sometimes think that my mom thinks my wedding is going to be a crazy affair, because I’m doing some “non-traditional” things! Good for you for sticking with what you feel is right. The thing my mom has had the hardest time with? Me not wearing a blusher. :)

 
17.
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Bee
Miss Trail Mix (message)  6,308 posts, Bee Keeper

@Miss French Fries: Um, what is a blusher???? :)

Glad to hear there’s so many other brides out there veering on the non-traditional side…I’m totally wearing colorful shoes too!

 
18.
gibbysgirl21
Member
gibbysgirl21 (message)  134 posts, Blushing bee

We were very non-traditional. I’m Native American so we incorporated some cultural aspects, but not the full marriage ceremony. We had a non-denominational wedding, other than that. I had a friend sing our ceremony songs- which everyone loved! We included some of the traditional things- bouquet toss, etc.

I also didn’t where a veil. Did anyone else feel like there was a whale spout coming off the back of their head? I felt very 80’s… :) so it went out of the window.

 
19.
gibbysgirl21
Member
gibbysgirl21 (message)  134 posts, Blushing bee

Oh yeah- and I wore fuchsia shoes. To me that doesn’t seem very un-traditional, but more trendy I suppose.

 
20.
ScarletJwl
Member
ScarletJwl (message)  246 posts, Helper bee

My SO is also surprisingly traditional! We’ll have to see how it plays out when we actually have to make final decisions.
I had to look up what an anniversary dance was, but I love it!!

 
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Mrs. Trail Mix
Mrs. Trail Mix

Mrs. Trail Mix, New York Age and Occupation: 26, PE Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, MBA Student Engagement Date: March 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: Tannery Pond at the Darrow School About Me: I'm a country girl who somehow found herself living in the Big Apple and loving every minute of it. I'm planning a rustic, country-chic wedding in my hometown in upstate New York and it's going to be a Party with a capital P. White wine, flea markets and running keep me happy and my friends, family and fiance are my world. I'm a little bit crafty, a little bit crazy but mostly just crazy in love.

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