Wedding Blog
Being totally dumbfounded by all the ins and outs of wedding planning, I did what any researcher worth her salt does: I bought a bunch of books about getting married.
So far, I’ve read most of One Perfect Day. My initial reaction? Meh.
I am a pretty critical person and one of the reasons I bought One Perfect Day was to gain some perspective about weddings as industry.
Well, I wish Mead actually liked weddings at all before she decided to critique them as capitalist institutions. As a reader and a person planning a wedding, I’ve read most of the book as a bit of a manifesto about why we should all eschew the wedding industry rather than approach our wedding planning with a healthy dose of critical attentiveness toward the things we think we need.
Some of the chapters are eye-opening (Walt Disney World and Gatlinburg, TN as wedding meccas!), others less so. For example, while I think it is important to keep this fact in mind, I also believe that it is no secret that many wedding dresses are made in China by people who live vastly different lives, often in what Americans/Westerners would consider restrictive or poor conditions, as compared to those purchasing the dresses… much like most other garments and consumer goods sold to US shoppers. It doesn’t mean it is acceptable, but Mead’s discussion of this reads like the wedding dress industry is the only group of retailers who do this. Overall, and this is certainly only my opinion, the book’s tone is overwhelmingly faux-aghast and at other times, condescending.
I hope I can find a different book that acknowledges the seriously problematic side of wedding planning and the wedding industry while still engaging with the fun, beautiful, and often irrational joy that comes from planning and executing a wedding.
Do you have any wedding reading that you’d recommend?
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Share this post: A Little Light Reading
My Recommendation isn’t about wedding planning, but more about different perspectives on marriage, love etc…It is called “Altared”, and is a collection of essays. I couldn’t put it down and absolutely loved it!! 
I’ve checked out every wedding-related book from the library…some of them multiple times! I love The Bridesmaid’s Guide by….something Chenowyth. It’s light, fun reading. And I like Colin Cowie’s books for all the pretty pictures!
i was thinking about getting one perfect day but never did. thanks for the review! i’ll probably just read it next time i’m at the bookstore
Offbeat Bride is a great book, but it is much more about Ariel’s own wedding planning, and much less a DIY / idea book (like the website is). Still an excellent read.
I liked One Perfect Day, but it did gloss over a lot of stuff, or made a lot of sweeping generalizations I didn’t like much (especially in the parts about the wedding officiant she talked to).
i agree with miss parfait, Kate Chynoweth’s The Bridesmaid Guide: Etiquette, Parties and Being Fabulous is so great! I bought it for my MOH and myself! Love it!
http://www.amazon.com/Bridesmaid-Guide-Etiquette-Parties-Fabulous/dp/0811833003
I read “Altared” as well. Good read. “The Bad Bridesmaid Guide” was fun and informative, gives you a perspective on how to treat your bridal party so that they don’t stage a coup against you. lol, and full of hilarious stories. I also read “Etiquette Hell” another fun read. Full of horror stories about “-zillas” of all kinds.
Hmm, I don’t have any suggestions, but I had heard similar things from others about One Perfect Day. Everyone else’s suggestions look great, too!
I didn’t care for “One Perfect Day” either. Right now I’m reading more “marriage” books than wedding books. Currently I’m reading “Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts” I think there is a version for first marriages as well.
I read the meaning of wife right before the wedding. It doesn’t focus solely on the wedding but it an interesting perspecitve into the psyche of women today revolving around getting married, etc.
I had similar feelings about One Perfect Day. It was interesting in parts, but not what I was expecting. Overall, eh. That’s actually the only useful wedding book I’ve read, sadly! The blogosphere and various forums were much more helpful. I’m looking forward to seeing other book recommendations in the comments, though.
Thanks for the honest review. I haven’t read Offbeat Bride, but I have heard only good things.
I got “Wedding Planning for Grown-Ups” from the library, then bought my own copy, and plan to pass it along when the other long-term relationship in the family finally turns into an engagement.
In general, the library is your friend here. Weddings are expensive enough without compiling your own reference section.
I loved reading Offbeat Bride!
Even Mr. BC read it, and thought it was laugh-out-loud hilarious! 
I think you’ve got a good approach (coming from a former phd student, myself ) - just understand that you should take everything with a grain of salt, and don’t get too discouraged to find your own way!
The Concious Bride - a really amazing book about the emotional journey and transition of getting married. Nothing prepared me more for the roller coaster of emotions.
I really like “The Wedding Book” by Mindy Weiss. It’s well organized, easy to zone in on the things you want to know. She often points out things that are worth paying extra for vs what is nice to have, but won’t be missed - I find that really helpful!
OBB was may fav so far. I have IDBID on my list, but haven’t started it yet. I feel that Ariel of OBB has a great attitude about the WIC and how that offbeat isn’t being weird for the sake of being weird (unless that’s your bag), she’s all about being honest with yourself and your future spouse. I loved it.
Try ‘Bridal Bargains’ - it’s got plenty of advice on how to save some serious cash on most aspects of a wedding and opens your eyes to the industry without a condescending or disapproving touch. It also tells you which questions you should ask vendors and why.
I actually strongly disagree with your review of One Perfect Day. I thought the author did an excellent job of providing intensely researched facts - as opposed to opinion, as is so often the case in books about weddings, the wedding industry, etc. I read it while helping my sister plan her wedding and after just getting engaged. I have then passed it on to my fiance (actually, he stole it and read it first!), my mom, and about 6 of our friends.
I think the main point is that instead of choosing a side, the author presented factual information on more than one aspect of weddings (dresses, photography, ceremony locations, etc.). Most people (especially brides) who read the book are most likely going to be biased…they don’t want to read things that may disagree with their views on their own weddings. This is known as cognitive dissonance.
My fiance and I, as we plan our own wedding, simply keep in mind that when it comes down to it, the goal of the wedding is not to “present our ‘couple’ identity to society or throw the “wedding of the year”. All I care about at our wedding is that we end up married at the end of the day.
One more thing I just needed to add: Forgetting the subject matter completely, One Perfect Day is BEAUTIFULLY written. That is what I call an author.
I apologize to people who enjoyed the Skinny Bitch books, but they read like they were written by 13 year old girls.
Wow, what a great collection of responses. I was a little anxious about this post, but I’m glad to read that my response was not unique. It was an interesting read, for sure! Thanks all!
Great suggestions too! I’ve paged through both OffBeat Bride and I Do But I Don’t and have enjoyed what I read. Ariel’s tone and style is really fun and approachable. I hadn’t heard of a lot of these titles.
@ashlle: I find most a lot of interesting discussions and inspiration via the blogosphere too.
@Sarah: Agreed re: the library!
@Jessica: I’m glad to read that One Perfect Day spoke to you and your wedding planning. I appreciate the author’s rigor in her research as well! It goes to show the importance of diversity in discussions about weddings, planning, and weddings-as-industry. Great to hear your perspective on it!
Check out “A More Perfect Union” by Hana Schank (sp on the name sorry!) it is a look at the wedding industry from the perspective of a bride planning her wedding, and her journey through the process - it sounds a bit more like what you’re looking for, already being well aware of the problems with the wedding industry. This one is more about being in the wedding ‘process’
I also read and liked ‘Altared’ and “Emotionally Engaged” I personally didn’t care for ‘The Conscious Bride”
Miss Snow, I feel ya on “One Perfect Day.” I found it quite disparaging in places as well.
I LOVED What No One Tells the Bride and Miss Manner’s Guide to Weddings (my FAVE wedding book).
I’m going to check out the OBB!
hehe most of my reading on what to do (and what not to do) has come from WB boards & the blogs!
I started to read One Perfect Day and had to put it down… while she made several good points, it just hurts to read some of it. Offbeat Bride was one of the first websites I read but I’m pretty mainstream, which bums me out because they have beautiful weddings!
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Miss Snow, Madison, WI/Asheville, NC
Age and Occupation: 28, PhD student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Graphic Designer
Engagement Date: August 5, 2009
Wedding Date: June 2010
Venue: Claxton Farm
About Me: I am true Southern gal displaced in the beautiful and blustery midwest. A true theatre geek at heart, I love any kind of performance and spend most of my time researching old productions in dank library archives. When not in the library, I love music (punk rock, bluegrass, and everything in between), design in all forms, any reality TV show on Bravo (especially those that feature housewives or sharp knives), beer and wine from Oregon, and exploring the outdoors. My fiance and I are true best friends, and he inspires me every day. After a long and happy dating relationship, we’ve decided to tie the knot in the mountains of North Carolina, our home state. We’re planning a long-distance, largely-DIY, eco-conscious hip farm affair that celebrates family, friends, and love.
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