Wedding Blog
I’ve received this question from a few people, either those who read the blog and noticed my mention of it in a previous post or from the many many friends and family whose ears I talk off about the wedding (I know I’m obsessed, I’m sorry!). Anyways, the anniversary dance is one of the sweetest traditions I’ve found during all my research online. I had never heard of it before I started reading (stalking) wedding blogs but once I found it, I knew it had to be done at our wedding.
The anniversary dance is basically a way to honor the couple attending the wedding who has been together the longest. From what I’ve read, usually the MC or DJ announces it, asking all couples (married or not, that’s your call) on to the dance floor for a couples’ dance. After a minute or two, all couples who have been together less than ____ years (you can choose the increments, we’ll probably use 5 or 10 years, depending on the length of the song we choose) are asked to have a seat. After another few seconds, this is repeated using a larger number and so on and so forth until there is only one couple left, the one who has been together the longest. The couple is then presented with the bridal bouquet (this part is optional, but I want to do it since we’re not having a bouquet toss).
I love this idea for several reasons. One, I think it is important to honor those marriages that have lasted for decades and even half-centuries. These types of unions are an inspiration to me and deserve a place at our wedding. Plus, if you can put up with your man for 50+ years, you deserve a damn bridal bouquet. 
I also like it because it will serve as an alternative to the bouquet toss, which I’m really not into.
I hope that the anniversary dance is an honor for the couple who ends up with the bouquet, as well as a reminder to the rest of us what a loving and happy marriage can look like. Truth be told, I hope that Mr Trail Mix and I look like this couple in the picture above when we’re old and grey, and who knows, maybe someday we’ll be the last ones standing at another anniversary dance far down the road…
I hope I’m still holding TM’s hand at 80…
Anyone else doing an anniversary dance? Have you heard of this tradition before, or am I in the minority? Have you found any other traditions while wedding planning that you’ve decided to incorporate into your wedding?
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I also plan on doing the anniversary dance during our 15th anniversary vow renewal next year. I already know who is going to get the bouquet - one of my favorite aunt. She and my uncle just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last month. I think it is a very touching gesture for any couple that has withstood the trials & tribulations of marriage.
I first heard about it on your last post and I LOVE it! I will definitely try to incorporate it in my wedding!
I LOVE this idea and wish I had known about it for my wedding, especially since my aunt & uncle celebrated their 47th wedding anniversary on my wedding day.
My sister did this at her wedding in May and it was great! We already knew that the longest married couple would be our grandparent’s and the DJ had them give a little bit of marriage advice. My grandma kept talking about how much she enjoyed the bouquet and how it lasted for 2 weeks.
We did this! We used Alan Jackson’s Remember When-it is the perfect song for the Anniversary Dance. My in-laws, married 45 years, were the longest married couple. When my flowers were piked up, I got a single pink rose and gave it to my in-laws when the song ended.
We’re doing this, although I’ve heard of it called the Generation Dance. I’m getting a smaller toss bouquet made and they will also get the garter to put on At my cousin’s wedding, the DJ (who is AMAZING) announced it and tey did it with all married couples.
We’ve always done this our family weddings. I think it is a great tradition that takes the focus off of the bride and groom and places it on some of their wonderful guests.
I think it’s a nice idea if you’ll have some long-married guests in attendance…but obviously if your parents or your spouse’s parents are divorced or widowed it would be a sad thing to do. So it depends on the situation!
I love this idea!! So cute. Makes me think about my grandparents, if my grandpa were still alive they’d be married for 55 years!! He just barely made it to their 50th.
I think its a sweet gesture.
My fiance and I are getting married rather late in life (we’re both over 40). We’re FINALLY getting married after 10 years in 2010 — the year our parents will be celebrating big anniversaries. My parents will celebrate their 50th in January, while his parents will celebrate their 60th in September. So, our anniversary dance will honor them. We weren’t going to do the elimination thing, but perhaps to make it more dramatic, we should. Or perhaps, we should add people, i.e., couples together 40, 30, etc. Then, we’d have the dance floor packed with people. But what would that do to the few singles present??? We also need to incorporate a couple of gay couples who have been together for 20 years! More things to think abou tand consider!
We’re doing it too. I just attended my first wedding a couple weeks ago that did it. It was really sweet and the winner had been together for over 60 years! I really want to do number of years together and not necessarily married since we will have domestic partners at our wedding who are of the same sex as well as who have chosen not to be legally married.
We did this and it was a great way to get some of the more shy couples onto the floor. My husband and I also danced. It was cute; the first announcement from the DJ was for “all couples married less than a day” to siit down.
*raises hand* We’re really looking forward to having the anniversary dance for all the same reasons as you mentioned.
We were planning on it but due to time constraints at the reception, had to nix it. My brother and SIL found out that their wedding day was my aunt and uncle’s 50th anniversary. They had a small cake made for them and presented it after the dance (as we knew they were the longest-married couple). It’s a fun tradition (maybe moreso in the south?).
I’ve heard of these before. I think it’s a very sweet idea.
I actually asked my DJ to do an anniversary dance and he didn’t end up doing it, whether he forgot or thought that it would have changed the mood (because everyone was dancing), I am not sure. But looking back, I am so bummed that it didn’t happen because I would have really liked to honor those long marriages that did come all the way!
So make sure you let your dj know how much it means to you, “do it no matter what,” chat never hurt anyone!
I think the anniversary dance is nice, but I also like the bouquet toss tradition as a wish for happiness for a single person!
i think this idea is so sweet. we’ll definitely be doing it at our wedding!
Make sure the first announcement is “all couples married less than 5 hours” so you can join in too
I saw this done at a friend’s wedding back in ‘05 and fell in love with idea. We will play Neil Young’s “Harvest Moon” for it… “Because I’m still in love with you, I want to see you dance again. Because I’m still in love with you on this harvest moon.”
The longest married couple we knew was my great-grandparents who were married for 72 years before he died in March. My grandparents will have been together for 51 years and his for 48 and there will be several other older couples so it looks like it will be a surprise for the winner
I’ve now been to 2 weddings with this tradition and I absolutely fell in love with it the first time I witnessed it. I remember the reaction when the final couple was dancing…it gave me goosebumps and it actually brought a tear to my eye seeing the love between the two still dancing. It was incredible. That is the one MUST HAVE request for my DJ to do. I’m so excited =) My aunt and uncle came in a close second to the oldest marriage…by 4 months!
This is one of my favorite traditions, too. So sweet.
I knew I was doing this dance since the beginning of my planning. I am hoping that FI’s grandparents are still around when we get married. I think they will be the stand out winners. Although we aren’t going to be giving anyone a bouquet, they will definitely be given a warm round of applause.
Yep they did this at the last wedding I went to, it was so cute! In the beginning, the DJ said he would give the winning couple who has been together the longest a free dinner for two…and at the end of the dance he gave them a box of mac & cheese haha!
Wow, I’m so impressed at how many of you have seen this before, it must be a regional thing… I’m excited that seeing it done at other weddings touched everyone so much!
I’ve never heard of this but it’s so sweet. We were looking for such great ideas to honor the couples who attend our wedding (like displaying their own wedding pictures around the guest book). But this the best yet! Do you mind if we borrow this idea?
I have loved the anniversary dance at other friends weddings. It’s great how it highlights how long the parents and grandparents in attendance have been married. Unfortunately, we can’t do an anniversary dance at our wedding b/c we don’t want to highlight the fact that my parents have been happily married for 30+ year, but my fiance’s parents are divorced 
I’ve heard of it (probably from the blogs) but never seen it done. It’s such a sweet idea!
We are doing it at our wedding, in lieu of the bouquet toss. We already know that it will go to DF’s grandparents, they’ve been married 60+.
i’ve seen this done a lot at weddings. we didn’t do it at ours though because we didn’t have anyone there that was married for too long. plus it would probably have made our grandmas sad since their husbands have passed away and they wouldn’t get to dance.
I would do it except that my grandfather passed a way 3 months ago (6 months before the wedding) and my grandmother and him would have probably been the oldest couple. I think my grandmother might feel weird. Otherwise I think it’s great, but be careful of people who might be sad because they would’ve “won” or what not but their significant other is not there.
We actually didn’t plan on doing one, because the two most important people on my side of the family (mom and grandma) aren’t married. I didn’t want them to feel weird about it. However, our DJ did it anyway, which worked out fine. One of my best friend’s parents were the longest married couple, which was very sweet.
While I think this is a nice tradition and is wonderful to celebrate the marriages of others, I am not a proponent of this dance because of how it might make people feel. At the last wedding I attended, there was a man who was recently widowed and another going through a terrible divorce. You knew it was hard for them to be there and I imagine having to sit out this dance only magnified those feelings. While it is nice to recognize enduring marriages, I don’t think it is worth it to possibly cause people going through difficult times to feel worse. Not that it is intentional, but I think the negative feelings people might experience outweigh the positive. I want all of my guests to feel wonderful, and not do anything that might cause some to feel more special than others.
This is the sweetest idea! I’ve heard of this before and really wanted to do it for my wedding reception… problem is that my fiance’s parents are divorced. I didn’t want to alienate or make my mother-in-law feel excluded with this tradition. Does anyone have suggestions on how I can get around this obstacle?
I didn’t realize how many brides had never heard of this before! Here in the midwest, it’s a staple at every wedding reception.
It is always such a hit!
We’re doing one! I think it’s a sweet tradition, and a good alternative to tossing the bouquet.
We’re doing it! I can’t wait. Our longest married couple is currently at 72 yrs and will be at 73 on our wedding day.
I’ve never heard of it before, but this sounds like a lovely thing to do! We’re getting married the day before my parents’ 40th anniversary, and I think it’d be cool to do, but I don’t know if they’re the longest-married couple that will be there. Well, yeah, I doubt it.
This is my favorite idea! I’ve never really been for the bouquet toss. It’s a nice way to show your appreciation to the veterans! 50 years of marriage is quite a feat
I love the anniversary dance! : ) I want to find a way to include my grandparents and great-grandma, too, but one of my grandpas passed away and so has my great-grandfather. : / Not sure what to do in that regard….
That’s such a great idea! I’m not a bouquet toss kinda girl - but I like the idea of giving it to someone who is very very special!
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Miss Trail Mix, New York
Age and Occupation: 26, PE Teacher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, MBA Student
Engagement Date: March 2009
Wedding Date: June 2010
Venue: Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
About Me: I'm a country girl who somehow found herself living in the Big Apple and loving every minute of it. I'm planning a rustic, country-chic wedding in my hometown in upstate New York and it's going to be a Party with a capital P. White wine, flea markets and running keep me happy and my friends, family and fiance are my world. I'm a little bit crafty, a little bit crazy but mostly just crazy in love.
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