Weddingbee Blog

1. See something cute and wedding-y in one of the following places: Etsy, one of the 50 wedding blogs in your 0reader, or in Martha Stewart Weddings magazine.

2. Decide that you absolutelymusthaveitOMGitistooperfect.

3. Google it like it’s your job, trying to find pictures of it in any capacity.

3 (a). Fall in love with said item even more.

4. Congratulate self on finding something so unique/”you”/kitschy/awesome.

5. Look to see what vendors are charging for said item.

5 (a). Cue jaw dropping at (potentially) astronomical price.

6. Have the following train of thought: ‘Self… you can totally do this. It’s so easy! You’re crafty! Remember that diorama in 2nd grade? That thing was awesome. This is way easier than that. Let’s do this.’

7. Research tools and materials needed for said item.

8. Determine that you have the following tools and materials at your disposal: scissors, Elmer’s glue leftover from college, an inkjet printer that is on the fritz 99.9% of the time, plain white copy paper, and some curling ribbon (probably left over from 1998, since you found it along with your first *NSYNC album ).

9. Take a break to listen to the sweet, sweet sounds of Justin Timberlake before “Cry Me a River”.

10. Drive to Michaels/Jo-Ann Fabrics/PaperSource, etc.

11. While in parking lot, make a deal with self that you’re only going in for the “essentials”.

12. Three steps inside of the door, get sidetracked by other items that are cute/interesting/innovative/would make your wedding DIY so much easier.

13. Look at watch. Realize that you’ve been in the store for roughly 1.75 hours.

14. Text fiance, reassuring him you haven’t fallen in a ditch somewhere.

15. Proceed to checkout with a cart full of merchandise.

15 (a). Get bad feeling in your stomach about the total bill.

15 (b). Tell self, “It’s for the wedding!” as if that excuses the $75.00 paper trimmer that is in no way necessary for this project.

16. At home, carefully lay out all craft items needed for project.

17. Revel at how shiny all of your new tools are. Fancy!

18. Determine that you forgot one essential item that project completion hinges upon.

18 (a). Kick self. Read directions 3 more times just to be sure you’re not forgetting anything else.

19. Drive back to Michaels/Jo-Ann Fabrics/PaperSource.

20. Return home with essential item you forgot (and a bag of gummy worms that you saw while at the checkout register).

21. Begin actual work on item.

21 (a). Pat self on back for being so crafty.

21 (b). Decide to turn on *NSYNC album from before, so you have “background music” to fuel your creativity.

22. Craft, craft, craft.

22 (a). Shoo pets out of the room who find what you’re doing ridiculously interesting and all of a sudden need oodles of attention.

23. Quickly realize that you either a) haven’t read the directions carefully or b) still have the crafting prowess of that 2nd grader and her diorama.

24. Re-read directions or inspiration picture.

25. Look at item in front of you.

25 (a). Version looks nothing like the inspiration or what the directions say it should.

26. Realize you have skipped step number 147 sub-step (i) in the directions.

26(a). Realize that even if you hadn’t skipped that step, the item wouldn’t be much better off.

26 (b). Wonder if just purchasing item would have been a better plan of action.

27. Make executive decision to call it a night. (Besides, Real Housewives and that pint of Ben and Jerry’s are calling your name.)