Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Mrs. Trail Mix
more by Mrs. Trail Mix (oldest)
Older blog post by Mrs. Trail Mix
Mrs. Trail Mix's Picture
Mrs. Trail Mix, New York Age and Occupation: 26, PE Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, MBA Student Engagement Date: March 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: Tannery Pond at the Darrow School About Me: I'm a country girl who somehow found herself living in the Big Apple and loving every minute of it. I'm planning a rustic, country-chic wedding in my hometown in upstate New York and it's going to be a Party with a capital P. White wine, flea markets and running keep me happy and my friends, family and fiance are my world. I'm a little bit crafty, a little bit crazy but mostly just crazy in love.
About Mrs. Trail Mix

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

November 16th, 2009 @ 9:30 am by Mrs. Trail Mix

Do As I Say, Not As I Do :  wedding save the dates Untitled 1

(DOH!!)

Confession: I sent our Save The Dates out way. way. waaaaaay too early. After my recent posting about the design of our pretty STDs, I had several requests to tell the story of the over-eager bride who sent out her Save The Dates close to a year before the wedding.

See, I told you, tres early. Hellooooo, psycho-bride! But in my defense… well, no, no, I have no defense, really. The long story short is that I decided very early on what they were going to look like and had my friend make them for us back in April. I finally got my grubby little paws on them in June. I’m a teacher and I was on summer vacation, which basically means I had a lot of free time and a serious urge to cross wedding tasks of our gigantic to-do list.

When I went on the Knot, the timeline for sending out Save The Dates was something like 12-6 months in advance. Great, I thought, I’m 11 months out (really, it was closer to 12 but it was at least under the 1-year mark). So I did up the little Word insert with our wedding website information, stuffed and addressed them all and sent them on their merry way.

Unfortunately, what the Knot did knot (haha!) state was why it is important to have your guest list completely finalized before sending out the Save The Dates. THIS, my dear ladies, is why I strongly recommend waiting until at least the 7 or 8-month mark to send out Save The Dates. Had I waited, I’m willing to bet I could have gotten our invite list down to at least 200 people, instead of the monstrous 230 it is now. But no, thanks to my over-eager, over-ambitious self, I am stuck with my guest list as is. Well, technically I could add people to it but we all know that’s SO not what any bride wants!

So there you have it, my sad tale of how jumping the gun can lead to shooting yourself in the foot. Whoops! Seriously, girlfriends, make sure your guest list is super-set before you send them out. Or at least don’t send them to people who are even remotely questionable (yup, didn’t do that either, sent every last one out to every person on our damn guest list). Oh well, live and learn, I suppose, but I do hope someone learns from my mistakes. So take my advice, no matter how beautiful your STDs are, no matter how anxious you are to get ’em out there and proclaim to the world that you are getting married, WAIT. Wait until you’re certain of the guest list, wait until you know who you want to send them to and then wait another month. (Unless you’re planning a destination wedding. Then by all means, send ’em as early as you want!)

Does anyone else have a tale of early bird bridal psycho-ness?

Tags: save-the-dates |
advertisement below
Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Mrs. Trail Mix
more by Mrs. Trail Mix (oldest)
Older blog post by Mrs. Trail Mix

23 Responses to “Do As I Say, Not As I Do”

1 2 

1.
pmerr
Member
pmerr (message)  2,518 posts, Sugar bee

Yup. I sent out a “wedding announcement” it was really a save the date thing that I sent out in an email. I sent it to old high school teachers that knew us in band. I’m hoping we can somehow get away without inviting them to the reception.

 
2.
Champagne Wishes
Member
Champagne Wishes (message)  1,187 posts, Bumble bee

Over-eager is my middle name! From STDs to my dress… I jump quickly.

 
3.
Mrs. Mouse
Bee
Mrs. Mouse (message)  5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

Ooops! I jumped the gun with bridesmaids’ dresses, so I feel ya on this one.

 
4.
redherring
Member
redherring (message)  1,969 posts, Buzzing bee

Heh. I very intentionally planned to send out our STDs with our holiday cards, specifically to prevent me from mailing them too early :) Right now, all of the cards are stamped, addressed, and waiting, because sending them before Thanksgiving would be ridiculous.

 
5.
ebs1123
Member
ebs1123 (message)  355 posts, Helper bee

Oh no! This is where I thank VistaPrint for coming in bunches of 100, so I didn’t even have enough for the whole guest list (yes, a huge wedding). Now I’ve marked the few who didn’t get one and, if someone needs to be cut, they’re already pre-chosen for me!

 
6.
Miss Britt
Member
Miss Britt (message)  915 posts, Busy bee

I wish this post would have done about five months ago. I also saw that the Knot said less than 12 months for STDs, so out mine went in July for my June wedding next summer. I thought then that I was just really on top of everything. I could have easily cut 30 people that I barely know off the guest list…live and learn.

 
7.
MissChirpie
Member
MissChirpie (message)  730 posts, Busy bee

My FI and I received a save the date pretty far in advance to one of his high school friend’s wedding. Then we never received an invitation. We weren’t really upset or anything because we weren’t close to the couple at all. So I guess their solution to sending out save the dates too early was to just not send invites to the people they were overly ambitious about inviting.

 
8.
Querida
Member
Querida (message)  1,424 posts, Bumble bee

You posted this just in the nick of time for me! Our STDs are being finalized THIS week and we’re planning to send them out in January… FI and i will BE SURE to work on the guest list a little more before that. THANKS!!!

 
9.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Plaid (message)  769 posts, Busy bee

Yeah I just sent my STDs out for my Oct 2010 wedding…but in my defense most of our guests are coming from our of town. I wanted to give them time to buy plane tix and such. :)

 
10.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Cheeseburger (message)  1,020 posts, Bumble bee

Awesome post! I too sent our STDs out 11 months early but only to our bridal party and immediate families (which was still 180 people!). My thought was that these people would be “guaranteed” their choice of hotel room, but some of them still haven’t even booked!! Oh well, what can ya do :)

 
11.
elfe515
Member
elfe515 (message)  45 posts, Newbee

I didn’t send the save the dates out that early, but I DID allow my FMIL to throw us an engagement party, at which point she informed me that “everyone invited to the party is also invited to the wedding, of course.” This is before any discussion of budget or venue size, etc. I’m kicking myself over that one!!

 
12.
Paperbuttons
Member
Paperbuttons (message)  44 posts, Newbee

Oh my god I did the same thing, only more awkwardly! I was so proud of our little STD video, that I started emailing it to random friends as soon as we finished it (which was 11 months out). The problem was, I wasn’t even consistent. I would send it out to a group of people, then get bored of typing the emails, take a break, and forget where I left off.
My mother just got a call from one of her brothers in Ireland wondering why his daughters had been invited to the wedding and he hadn’t! Sooo embarrassing…

 
13.
Appleblossom
Member
Appleblossom (message)  310 posts, Helper bee

oh yeah. bought a dress after being engaged for 8, count ‘em, 8 days. But in my defense, I tried on at least 30, and this was the only one that I was even willing to look at for more than a minute, and I still love it!

 
14.
Member Icon
Member
ariellebride (message)  431 posts, Helper bee

I’m planning on sending out our save the dates in the next couple of weeks and we are getting married in September. I was strongly advised by FMIL to only send them to family and close friends. That way I won’t regret anything!

 
15.
iswimibikeirun
Member
iswimibikeirun (message)  1,355 posts, Bumble bee

I sent mine out just over 6 months before the date. My main reason for sending them then was so that when we arrived at a family wedding, I wouldn’t have to answer the big question of: so when’s your wedding!

 
16.
elaineathon
Member
elaineathon (message)  349 posts, Helper bee

We just sent ours a couple weeks ago (about 7 months out). I wanted to send them out a month or two prior but I had to wait till my mom and FMIL finalized their guestlists. It will help a lot with the invites because now we have the list of guests with all their addresses organized in Excel.

I did book our caterer within a month of getting engaged. I’m a little disappointed now because we could have explored our options more and potentially found a better deal. But I think they’ll do a great job, so hopefully it will be money well spent!

 
17.
Member Icon
Member
Miss Hot Sauce (message)  1,026 posts, Bumble bee

LOL This post made me laugh as I am guilty. Mine went out about 9 months before, but there are some people I could definitely cross off as well. That is, if my fiance would quite ADDING to the guest list!

 
18.
Guest Icon
Guest
Clare Richardson

Yes! I did the same thing! Mine was even worse: Before I had even started designing the save the date cards or getting guest lists from our parents, I sent out an email to some people asking for their mailing addresses. These are people who I clearly wasn’t *that* close to, since I didn’t already have their address. Now I can’t take them off the invite list, even though our guest list is exploding and I want to invite friends I’m closer to.

 
19.
katerrific
Member
katerrific (message)  218 posts, Helper bee

Well I haven’t sent mine out yet but I was planning on getting my addresses together even though my guest list isn’t finalized. Maybe it is slightly sneaky, but this post totally gave me the idea to ask everyone for addresses “for Christmas cards” and then I won’t have to feel guilty if I’m not able to invite them to the wedding. I can send them a card and be done with it.

Don’t judge me Hive :) An over-preparing bride’s gotta do what she’s gotta do.

 
20.
Member Icon
Member
littlemissbutton (message)  33 posts, Newbee

I could totally see myself doing just this. I’m really going to need to pace myself!
Thanks for the reminder ;)

 
1 2 

Leave a Reply


You can also just...

Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Mrs. Trail Mix
more by Mrs. Trail Mix (oldest)
Older blog post by Mrs. Trail Mix

Visit our sister sites eHarmony
Online Dating
eHarmony Advice
Dating Advice
Project Wedding
Wedding Songs
JustMommies
Pregnancy Calendar

Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
 

Find your vendors on Weddingbee

Real reviews from brides in your area!

Favors by Weddingbee

  • Favors by season

Shop Now »

Mrs. Trail Mix
Mrs. Trail Mix

Mrs. Trail Mix, New York Age and Occupation: 26, PE Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, MBA Student Engagement Date: March 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: Tannery Pond at the Darrow School About Me: I'm a country girl who somehow found herself living in the Big Apple and loving every minute of it. I'm planning a rustic, country-chic wedding in my hometown in upstate New York and it's going to be a Party with a capital P. White wine, flea markets and running keep me happy and my friends, family and fiance are my world. I'm a little bit crafty, a little bit crazy but mostly just crazy in love.

Boards
Classifieds

Blog Calendar
February 2012
SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
2930311234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
26272829

Weddingbee Bios
Wiki
More