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(photo by FIL Pudding)
Deciding on a wedding party started out as a fairly difficult decision for me, and than became an awfully simple one. Because I had just graduated from college, I had quite a number of close friends that I still held near and dear to my heart. There were my three house mates, J, H, and R who were my partners in crime during school, and were as close to family as I had in school. Than there was “the core”: a group of friends from my program who are like my intellectual soul mates. There was also M; although she’s a friend more recently acquired, we have so much in common that I consider her to be one of the few people that understands where I come from. To round out the group of my closest friends, there is R, a loyal friend whom I have known since high school. All together, that makes 8 people whom I couldn’t imagine excluding.
Well, you might think that eight is not such a ridiculous number.
I have been in weddings that had more than eight attendants on each side. However, I have yet to discuss my family. I have a younger sister, who without a single doubt in my mind would be my Maid of Honour. Also, Matthew has a younger sister whom I adore, and I desperately wanted her to stand by my side.
So that makes ten… OK, the number is getting up there, but it’s still not unheard of, right? But what about my cousins? I have one cousin, A, who is like a little sister to me, and 4 other cousins who I am very close to.
All together, that makes fifteen bridesmaids. Fifteen! Where would my groom find so many groom’s men? Fifteen was just too much… cuts would have to be made!
But who to exclude? I didn’t want to insult anyone, and I didn’t want anyone to think that their relationship with me was less valuable. So I did the only thing that I could think of… I cut everyone! I decided that I wanted our wedding party to consist of siblings only, which works out quite perfectly since Matthew and I both have a brother and a sister. Since my friends and family are an incredibly talented bunch, they will be included in other special ways throughout the wedding. I truly hope that none of my friends are hurt by my decision, and I hope that they are excited about getting to choose their own dresses for the big party!
Are you having a small wedding party? Or, did you just decide to include everyone close to you, and if so, how large is your wedding party?
That would have been a HUGE bridal party!
We’re having a small wedding (about 60 guests) and FI is only having his Best Man. I, on the other hand have a MOH, and then 6 bridesmaids - four of my closest friends and his two sisters.
Instead of exluding anyone, we’re having the MOH and BM stand up there with us. The other 6 bridesmaids will walk down the aisle but then sit in the second row on my side instead of standing up.
We did the same thing. My fiance’s brother is his best man, and my best friend is my maid of honor. The only one left out is my little brother, but he’s going to be helping out as an usher and escorting my mom into the church, so he’s playing a big role too. It was just the easiest way to go.
We had a small wedding party (3 on each side) for simplicity’s sake. I would’ve liked to include more people, but oh well.
Yes good thing you made cuts, even better that you didn’t cut me out!
For the record… I’m so proud to be your MOH 
Yay LSPudding is on WB!!
I am having 3 friends and my two sisters (who are 10 and 12)… and he is having a Best Man and my 3 brothers. His two brothers can’t make it. 
The littlest brother will escort the two little sisters… aww..
We are each having 4, which is a good number…I wouldn’tve minded having only 2 or 3 but choosing was so hard!
Wow, 15 a side would have been a lot! I think you totally made the right decision to limit it to family members, especially given you have an even number!
Such a tough decision, but I think you made the right call! Plus you can always do something special for those other friends & family members to let them know they’re your bridal party members “in spirit.” I made some pearl neclaces & wrote letters for friends/family that didn’t make it into our bridal party as a way of saying I love you and thanks for being a part of our day, even if only as a guest!
@Miss Cheeseburger: What a wonderful idea, Miss Cheeseburger! I think that I might have to “borrow” it 
Ooh, Cheeseburger has me thinking: Could you ask your honorary bridesmaids to chose a dress in the same color that kinda matches the wedding party? Just an idea!
@Miss Snow: Well, my BMs are wearing navy, so perhaps cute yellow dresses, a la Mrs. Frenchie?
I just went with my sister as my MOH. And we’ll have a BM. So far, I think I have a flower girl & a ring bearer, but I might add another pair of children. I didn’t want one of my friends as a BM (she tends to have ‘zilla tendencies), so she’ll be in charge of her son, the ring bearer.
This is going to be a rough process for me…I’m in much of the same situation, though I know that my MOH will be my best friend and I can’t imagine cutting to siblings-only. No no no no no.
@littlemissbutton: It was pretty easy for me, since I am super close with my siblings. My sister is by far my best friend. As for Mr. Pudding, I think if given a chance he would have stuck a friend in there, but I kinda suggested siblings only, and he went with it! Family is very important to us, so it makes sense. Also, I live at least 600 km away from my closest friend, and over 10 000 km from my furthest, so having them in the party would have gotten complicated
i had the same problem and came to the same solution- my brother and sister and my FI’s sister are in, and then his best man is his cousin who is his best friend and might as well be his brother. if i included all of my closest friends I would have had a huge wedding party as well! i think my non-bridesmaid friends are really happy to pick out their own dresses too 
I had a bit of a dilemma in picking out my bridal party too… it wasn’t so much the number of people as the people I didn’t want to ask. I have a couple friends from grade school who I think expected to be in my wedding but we are honestly not that close anymore. I also don’t think that I have one best friend, only pairs of friends, so I had trouble picking a MOH. In the end, I didn’t ask the childhood friends to be BMs, and I picked a MOH who is a recent good friend but whom I know will be very responsible and helpful. Is that wrong?
@elaineathon: I don’t think that it’s wrong at all! I think that your MOH should be someone that you will still know and enjoy in 10 years, and if you’re not close to your childhood friends now, it’s probably not going to get better in the future. I think that it’s great that you followed your gut!
Similar problem here. I would have loved to have had about eight bridesmaids, and while that’s certainly not unheard of, it would have been hard for FI to come up with that many groomsmen, and also it would have just been way too large a bridal party for our 50-guest wedding. I whipped out the long knives and chopped it all down to just two on each side. My sister, my best friend, FI’s two best male friends. I feel especially bad about omitting FI’s sister, but I don’t think she minds. At least I hope, really hope, she doesn’t.
I plan on incorporating my other friends through the usual ceremony readings and performances, but also by making a special invitation to them to hang out with us while we are getting ready. Not as our personal servants or anything, but just to be present and have a glass of champagne and laugh with us as we mentally and emotionally prepare for the day. I think it will be really nice to have them there, and I also plan on asking them to be in some of the formal group photos. (This will require warning them in advance, of course, so that they wear clothes and makeup that make them feel comfortable being in the photographer’s spotlight.)
My number would have been around 15 too if I had included everyone I wanted. The problem is that 3 people from FI’s life in Korea will be attending the wedding. We would have had to ask my friend’s husbands to fill in his side. So now I’m having just my sister as my MOH and he is having his best friend or brother be his best man. All of the friends I wanted to include are now readers/singers/pianists/ speakers/and even…’games mistress’ (we are having lawn games!). I think they are all happy at not having to pay for a dress/devote their time to pre-wedding planning.
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Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/Vermont Age and Occupation: 26, High School Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer Engineer Engagement Date: August 2008 Wedding Date: July 2010 Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall Reception About Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
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Smart move making cuts!
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