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I got an email back in March from The Knot with a link to an article about registering for gifts. I thought it was still a little early for Mr. Spaniel and me to start registering for gifts (which isn’t to say I wasn’t playing around with online registries at my favorite stores for months already), but The Knot tells me—first thing!—to register early.
What are you waiting for? Registering should be one of the first tasks you tackle when you get engaged. Friends and relatives will be looking to buy gifts for all those pre-wedding and engagement bashes. Take the guesswork out of gift buying by making sure they know what you want. You don’t need to complete your list just yet, but at least have a selection for guests to browse.
Okay! I will! After all, this is one of the fun parts!
When I first started thinking about whether or not Mr. Spaniel and I would ever use “fine china”, I found this gorgeous set at Macy’s. I still love it, but I can’t imagine that if we were to register for 12 sets of china at $140 a place setting that we could possibly ever complete our registry… who would be left to buy us the things that we actually sort of need (like cookware that hasn’t been handed down four times, after being bought already missing lids at a garage sale)?
Anyway, a little bit of browsing around yielded this porcelain set from Crate and Barrel, which I like almost as much as the first set and, at $149 per four place settings, was just over 25% of the price. And all was well, until I read this article suggesting that banded china is not dishwasher safe! But the Monique Lhuillier set is! And the Crate and Barrel porcelain set is not! And would I want to kick myself if I had to wash 12 sets of dishes by hand after a party? Yes, I think I would.
Which would you choose? The more expensive but dishwasher safe set, or the cheaper, but hand wash only set?
totally tough call. this is interesting because we’ve put my mom’s banded lenox into the dishwasher for years! I wonder if she knows about this. I had a rough time with registering in general (registry guilt), so I’m probably not the best one to take advice from. I’ll tell you what people told me - it’s just a wish list and people won’t buy you things they can’t afford, so if you want it, scan it! 
I am on team utilitarian, so dishwasher-safe, all the way!
(Both are very pretty!)
I knew my family and his family would never spend more than $50 per setting so we went with cheaper. I figured hand washing a few times a year isn’t horrible and I didn’t need to microwave the china, even though it would be nice.
I would say it depends on how often you plan to use it. Once a year at the holidays? Go with the cheaper especially since your family/close friends will probably be there to help with the dishes anyways.
Keep looking! I’m sure you can find something cheaper that is still gorgeous and dishwasher safe!
Think of it this way: if you have the more expensive set, in lieu of other items you would use more frequently, how often will you be saying to yourself “I wish I had a decent saucepan/george foreman grill/mixer/brulee torch (okay, maybe not the brulee torch)….” versus how often you will lament hand washing dishes on those rare special occasions (ala Talishazwi’s message, above)?
Tough choice, cost vs. convenience. I think I agree with Miss Mouse, keep looking to find something you love, that is priced right, AND is dishwasher safe!
Totally agree with Mrs. Mouse. The Monique pattern is gorgeous, but you’ll only use it at special occasions. We registered for an “every day” Mikasa pattern and while it’s not fine china, it’s really pretty and it’s a major step up from the Target/Kmart hand-me-downs we had since college.
Go for the fine china! We registered for a Vera Wang pattern and LOVE it. I was surprised at how many of our guests loved buying the china for us (we received all 12 sets, although still need a couple of soup bowls). We make a point to use it…we’ve even served homemade pizza on it to guests. It’s so fun to look at and use. It’s something you will have forever and can pass on to your kids (plus you don’t want to hand wash 12 place settings after dinner, now do you?)
I’m always afraid the Crate & Barrel stuff will chip. I’d go for the Lenox!
more expensive set. Macy’s always puts their china on sale. And once a season they have a sale called “the biggest sale of the season” that they will email you about. Usually the $150 china sets go down to $85 at that sale. And macy’s also has a big china sale once a year that I will be shopping at. They told me it was in the spring. I only got 4 settings of my china from my wedding and I’d like to get at least 4 more but I’m waiting for the big china sale.
@amariem25: Sigh, the Royal Doulton/Monique Lhullier china *never* goes on sale there. I’ve looked. For a looooooong time. 
I actually posted this today in another place!
I registered for fine china and it is about $50 per dinner plate, $40 per salad plate, and $65 per bowl, and $70 for a teacup and saucer combo. (If I had done it just by place settings it is like $180 per place setting and I figured that more people would be able to afford an individual plate than an entire setting) I also registered for nice crystal which is about $35 per glass. But it is very traditional that all the women in my family register for nice china and stemware and that is what our family buys. And I registered for really expensive Caphalon pots and pans. But at least I do quite a bit of cooking.
I was pretty pressured by my mother to register for fine china like you’ve described, and I’m not doing it. Note the argument everyone makes - you can hand it down to your kids! And then look at your mother’s/grandmother’s china. Turns out we have 4 sets of china that I’m possibly inheriting, so we’re registering for everyday dishes from Crate and Barrel. We aren’t very fancy people and I love the idea of using my grandmother’s china, even if it’s not identical to what I would have picked.
This being the long way to say - look around, and don’t feel pressured into registering for FINE china. Really nice (dishwasher-safe!) dishes are a real option too.
Go for the good stuff, girl. You’d be surprised who’s willing to love your at $140 per place setting. (:
Dishwasher safe. And like many people are saying - you really can’t predict what people will buy off of your registry!!!!
The expensive set! Fine bone china will last and last. I have pieces of bone china that are over a hundred years old… That set that states hand wash only isn’t designed to last. Antique china isn’t dishwasher safe because the decorations were never designed to handle modern dishwashers… the floral designs and gilding will fade… But modern dishware should last and it shouldn’t be a problem to put it in the dishwasher. I would think that you only need to have 12 families choose to buy you a place setting for you to complete the basic set … and possibly less if you have a special sale… which if you shop around you will probably find several! I wouldn’t worry about the basics either! Showers and family members often take care of this!!! The cheaper set will probably chip easily and that is why it is not dishwasher safe. You are supposed to have wedding gifts that last a lifetime and sometimeseven longer… The china pieces that I referred to were my great grandmother’s wedding gifts… A cheap set that chips easily will need to be replaced within years… Crate and Barrel isn’t interested in a lasting gift because it makes them money… every time you buy a new set. But you should be because in the long run it will save you money…
agree with keep looking, you can find something nice and dishwasher safe I’m sure.
I just registered for a Royal Doulton set of china at Macy’s and it’s actually on sale now for $90 instead of the usual $130. So, you might be able to find something that goes on sale!
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Mrs. Spaniel, Los Angeles Age and Occupation: 28, Law Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Psychologist Wedding Date: March 2010 Venue: Calamigos Ranch About Me: I'm a third-year law student trying to balance graduating with starting my career, keeping up a relationship, and, oh yeah, planning an Old World, multi-cultural, "mountain lodge" wedding for 180 guests! A South Asian Jewish girl getting ready to marry my handsome Catholic Dane, I'm hoping to blend our cultures in our wedding just a bit more gently than by providing samosas as appetizers and offering æbleskiver for dessert. (Although that would also be awesome.)
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