A Moment of Weakness

A Moment of Weakness

November 19th, 2009 @ 4:05 pm by Mrs. Beagle
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After I got married, I assumed I would give up my obsession with wedding blogs. Even in the weeks leading up to our wedding I refused to look at wedding inspiration sites because 1) I had no time or, more importantly, 2) I was fearful I would end up seeing some detail or project that I would fall in love with and need to incorporate into our event or, even worse, 3) that I would see a gorgeous wedding and then regret the entire theme of our wedding and proceed to sulk.

Last week, after seeing our wedding pictures for the first time, I let down my guard and revisited the wedding sites whose posts had piled up in my Google Reader. I immediately regretted it. The wonderful memories for our wedding day were clouded by so many things I wish I had done. I wish we had taken more pictures with our wedding party, I wish I had remembered to bring our invitations to be photographed, I wish we had hired a videographer, I wish I had made enough time to make signs for our chairs, I may have even regretted not carrying real flowers, and the list could go on and on.

I really felt bad about it for about two days, but then I remembered that we had a pretty good day. If anything did not go according to plan, we were oblivious to it. After the ceremony, I felt complete happiness—a feeling I never expected. (I mean I figured I would be happy, but not that happy, right?) And best of all, Mr. Beagle and I are now married and it is better than I ever imagined. It definitely feels different—a very, very good different.

It seems strange to me that so much time and planning go into one day that lasts a total of 6 or 7 hours and then it’s over in what feels like a few seconds. I can’t wrap my head around that just yet. I’m just trying to remember our day, one moment at a time, so that I don’t forget what a wonderful day it was.

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17 Responses to “A Moment of Weakness”

Member

BenJerrysBride (message) 119 posts, Blushing bee

This is exactly how I felt!

I think it’s sort of a very mild version of the PWD everyone has been mentioning lately. I like to call it “post wedding confusion” as in, I’m confused why I’m letting these things bother me and I’m really happy yet feel a little off and know it’s probably related to the fact that I’m not centered around this one thing anymore. There are several pics I forgot to have taken, certain music that would have been better here or there, something I could have done to make things less stressful for myself, my mom and my sister but yeah, I certainly don’t want to spend time regretting my wedding day when I had a fantastic time (and so did everybody else!)

I love the pics I have and miss the ones I don’t(just a smidge) but you’re right, in the end, I don’t miss being engaged because I love being married!

11/19/09 @ 4:18 pm (reply)

Member

spraguebride (message) 1,253 posts, Bumble bee

It’s really nice to know that I am not alone! My biggest issue…what almost 4 months later still bothers me…is our photos. There is so much that was missed. It gets me down. I see other people’s pictures and suddenly what was the “perfect day” doesn’t measure up. I see thier amazing pictures and I think of all that I am missing. I get mad and sad and it feels unfair.
Something about seeing others who are in the same boat…makes me feel better. It’s so easy to think “woah is me….I am the ONLY one who didn’t get the pics she wanted. Look at all those other brides” It’s good to have a slap in the face of reality and realize there are many of us out there who had things go wrong.
Ya know what my solution is to my sadness over my lame pictures? I am putting back on that dress for our 1 year anniversary and I doing a photo shoot! I couldn’t figure out how to solve my problem and get over my envy of other people’s photos. I don’t have the money now right after the wedding to do a bridal shoot…so I thought “I will make the hubby dress up…and I will do my hair and make up…put back on my wonderful dress….and we will have an Anniversary session.
I still cringe when I look at the pretty pictures posted on WB. I still get sad. But then I remind myself “I can fix this. It’s not too late. I can get pictures next August”. Somehow that makes it a lot easier to handle.

I am sorry that you are feeling this way. Maybe you will feel better to know that you are not alone as well.
Hang in there! (((HUGS)))

11/19/09 @ 4:53 pm (reply)

Member

spraguebride (message) 1,253 posts, Bumble bee

Oh..and YES…being married makes it all worth it and really the wedding pales in comparision to BEING MARRIED!!! Isn’t it just great??!

11/19/09 @ 4:54 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Cardigan (message) 8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

I could definitely see myself feeling like this after the wedding - I’m one to be really critical of myself on this sort of thing!

11/19/09 @ 4:55 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Perfume (message) 2,253 posts, Buzzing bee

It’s been six months, and the memories have faded a bit, but I recall feeling the exact same way. I wish I would have X…It’s so easy to second guess yourself. But some time and a distancing kind of perspective help.

11/19/09 @ 5:34 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Scissors (message) 7,343 posts, Bee Keeper

I can totally see myself feeling like this after the wedding. I’m such a “what-if” person, and I dwell. Hopefully I can find a way not to second guess myself on everything.

11/19/09 @ 5:38 pm (reply)

Hostess

LatteLove (message) 5,587 posts, Bee Keeper

I still have many of those same feelings when I come back here or go back to my other daily wedding blog reads. No one’s wedding was perfect though! That’s what I try to tell myself anyway

11/19/09 @ 5:59 pm (reply)

Member

missmountie (message) 46 posts, Newbee

ah sigh.

there’s always the “what ifs” isn’t there?

i have tried to stop with the blog sites already (7 months out) because i am constantly seeing all these things and i’m like “i want this, i want that.. OMG, now i want this”.. and it just get so stressful and overwhelming.

delete those blog site lovely.. and in the meanwhile, keep your chin out.
i dont have any doubt that your day was absolutely wonderful and amazing!

11/19/09 @ 6:22 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Mouse (message) 5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

I love this post! I didn’t really stop reading wedding blogs once we got back, but I did (and still do) have that feeling every now and then when I see a really beautiful wedding. I know I should just say “Wow, that wedding was really cool. So was mine.” If I’m going to keep spending this much time on wedding blogs, I need to figure out how to make some money out of it, haha.

11/19/09 @ 6:24 pm (reply)

10.

Member

littlemissbutton (message) 33 posts, Newbee

Oh, I could easily be in the same boat after all is said & done.
I’m with Mrs. Mouse… we should put our extensive knowledge & resources to work!

11/19/09 @ 8:25 pm (reply)

11.

Member

Laylabelle (message) 3,378 posts, Sugar bee

I’m totally with you. I’ve had to refrain from reading my faves for this very reason.

11/19/09 @ 9:12 pm (reply)

12.

Member

BaghdadBride (message) 352 posts, Helper bee

honestly it’s best to go cold turkey…not only to avoid those bad feelings, but just to get your normal life back. Unless you are in the business it’s just not healthy looking at a ton of wedding blogs each day…not to mention time consuming. I just deleted all the wedding blogs from my reader except one or two that I like for more then just wedding reasons (i.e. this one which I find good for fashion/paper/gift ideas, etc). I also added other blogs about different things that I found interesting. It’s actually a really liberating feeling and you will find that you don’t miss it.

11/19/09 @ 9:39 pm (reply)

13.

Hostess

Lillindy (message) 7,974 posts, Bee Keeper

Great post! I so feel ya, this is exactly how I felt after my wedding!

11/19/09 @ 10:04 pm (reply)

14.

Bee

Miss Cola (message) 2,868 posts, Sugar bee

Great post! I’m not sure what I’ll do after the wedding, I spend so much time reading blogs and researching….thank goodness there’s still newlywed blogs and forums!

11/19/09 @ 10:13 pm (reply)

15.

Member

Charm bracelet (message) 1,935 posts, Buzzing bee

Thanks for sharing. I’ve wondered what I’d do about wedding blogs after the wedding. I think I still want to look at websites but I really don’t want to compare either.

11/20/09 @ 1:51 am (reply)

16.

Bee

Miss Lamb (message) 970 posts, Busy bee

Great post Beagle! I’m a few weeks out now and I’ve begun disengaging from a lot of inspiration sites. Less inspiration and more focus is what I need to get through to the finish! Wonderful insight my dear!

11/20/09 @ 9:05 am (reply)

17.

Member

pvaulter718 (message) 2,116 posts, Buzzing bee

I feel like this is how so many brides feel after their weddings! There’s always a what-if, i-shoul’ve, etc. You’re always going to see a newer, better, more colorful, wedding, but wasn’t your day great? Aren’t you married to a wonderful husband now? Wasn’t it great to feel all that love?

Believe me, I’m in the same boat and sometimes I think I should swear off Weddingbee and not tease myself. But my MOH gets married in August, and I couldn’t forgive myself if I missed some amazing idea because I was being selfish!

11/20/09 @ 9:42 am (reply)