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We made a mistake. There ya go, plain and simple. We made a mistake that we (unfortunately) can’t go back and fix. About a year ago, Thanksgiving 2008 to be exact, Mr. Rainbow and I got engaged. We quickly set a date, late May of 2010. That’s right, a year-and-a-half long engagement. I thought it would be perfect, that it would give us and our families plenty of time to get our finances in order and it would give me plenty of time to research and plan. I was excited and gung-ho and so ready to go DIY crazy.
Yeah, well, that was then, and this is now.
We’re officially six months out and *gulp* I am so over it. I’ve spent almost a whole 365 days thinking about our upcoming wedding, and to be honest, I’m a bit sick of it at this point. In my opinion, our engagement was way too long. If I could go back and do it over again, I would have given us six months to a year max to plan. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just losing steam, I’m losing motivation, and I just want to get. it. over. with. I can’t tell you how many times in the last few weeks I have seriously considered scrapping it all and just eloping.
But no, as I said, it’s too late for that. It’s all too involved, we’re in too deep. The date’s been set, the vendors booked, deposits have been made, the dress has been purchased, and there’s no going back and changing the date now. It’s full on go time, whether we feel like it or not. Now all that’s left to do is buck up, man up, and get our rears in gear! Easier said than done, right?
So, ladies with long engagements, am I alone in feeling this way? Did you ever get to the point where you just wanted to say “enough already, let’s just do this!”?
I’m there. Less than 2 months to go and I’ve been feeling this way since September.
I feel EXACTLY this way. A six month engagement would have been perfect. Harder to find a venue, maybe, but that’s really the only thing we did before the 12-month point anyway!
If I could do it again, we’d have gotten married last March instead of this one!
Uh Oh.
We got engaged in April and our wedding will be October 2010. We mainly chose our date for financial reasons and I’ve not been doing any wedding stuff with full effort. I hope that keeps me sane. 
I hope that since you’ve done this much work so far, it gives you some breathing room to take some time off from wedding stuff when you get closer.
I’m not sure what the “ideal” timeline is… we did an eight-month engagement and are six months out. I think if we were just starting now, it would feel very rushed. Even at eight months vendors were saying things like, “well, you just made it.” I think 9-10 might have been a little better.
You can do it! 6 months will fly by!
I was sooo glad we have a 14 month engagement. It let me get the big stuff out of the way early (venue, band, florist, dress) and ignore the little details until after the huge work event I ran in September. Thankfully my fiancee shot down my idea of getting married in October, while I totally could have pulled off a wedding in 7 months, I’m not sure I could have pulled off a wedding and a major work conference at the same time!
We are at month 3 of a 15 month engagement. (Sept engagement, Jan wedding) We have gotten some important items out of the way and made some important decisions but I have found myself not wanting to start all of my projects thinking there is so much time and where will all this get stored and what if it’s damaged? I’ve decided to just browse the internet now and then in Feb/Mar timeline I will begin finishing all my projects. By then I will have seen everything and hopefully all winter ideas from this year.
You are most certainly in that lull period. We had a 16-month engagement and I got just like that at about the same time you did. That said, at the six-month mark, things start to pick up and you don’t even have time to think about being sick of it. It doesn’t sound true, but it is. It will come sooner than you think. And the sick-of-it feeling will go away and be replaced with excitement again. Promise.
I totally hear you - we will have been engaged just about 20 months when we get married in june, and man, am I ready to just marry him! It does ebb and flow - I did a lot of the planning before Jan of this year, and everything I left is now time to do! It was nice to be able to do each piece one at a time and not feel rushed, especially since we’re long distance planning, but sometimes it really does feel too long! Then again, time really seems to fly…so I’m sure it will be here before you know it.
My engagement has only been 1 year and I still felt that way at times!! I’m so happy it’s finally almost here and I really don’t ever want to plan a wedding again : ) But I’m just hoping that on the day of I remember to enjoy and take note of all the stuff I did work so hard on instead of rushing through the day. I do think on the day of you’ll realize all that planning was worth it, even if it’s annoying right now.
I’m not engaged yet…However, I don’t think I could do a more than a year engagement….I’d rather just do a couple months. My s/o wants to just drive to Vegas, but I can’t bring myself to do that. I do want a wedding….if only a small one. So it’s really my own fault I’m still waiting lol
mmmm. we’re having a pretty long engagement too- 15 months to be exact and I have to say that we need every minute of it! Mostly so we can give ourselves breaks from the wedding blog/planning/new idea/DIY overload. Seriously- you have all the big things checked off your list so take a few days and don’t do anything wedding related. It’ll make all the difference! Good luck and hang in there- I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and know it will all turn out beautifully!
I felt this way a lot, but I think in the end the long engagement was worth it for us. And don’t elope, you will want to have that incredible day — we’re glad we didn’t!
I have reached the point where all our vendors are booked and we’re 10 mos out. So now I get to just relax until March while mailing out the STDs sometime this winter. I think giving myself this big break will help me not be totally over the wedding before it gets here. But what do I know? 
That’s so funny that you’re posting about this. I was just telling one of my BMs that I’m so happy we’re having a long (almost 22 month) engagement. Our date is late May as well, and we’re almost done with our “big stuff.” But I’m finally starting to see things pick up speed. Since we had such a long engagement we’ve gone through a few spurts and a few lulls. I think the next 6 months are probably going to be chock full of stuff and I kind of don’t want it to end!!
But I definitely have my days where I’m like “I just want this to be OVERRR!!!” But the way I see it is this only happens once, might as well drag it out!
We had a six-month engagement (mid feb engagement, getting married mid-december) and I thought it was perfect. We’re sick of it now, so I couldn’t imagine tacking on another year to it. I think a long engagement sounds like a “hurry up and wait” scenario. Truth be told, we had no trouble booking our venue. Of course, getting married in December is different than June, but that is something to consider when getting engaged and setting a date.
Also, OMG: we’re 24 days out as of today. AHHH!
We’re at month 3 of a 9 month engagement (wedding in May) and so far it’s been perfect. We got a deal at our venue for empty May Saturday (our only huge concern) and we just finished booking our last vendor. For the next 6 months we can focus on the details!
I’m just over halfway through my year-long engagement (engaged May 2009, wedding in May 2010), and I feel like a year is a perfect amount of time. If I let myself get too wrapped up in wedding stuff (ahem, like spending all day on WB when I should be WORKING!!!), I start to get wedding overload. But if I take things at a reasonable pace, I feel like I have time to plan everything just how I want it while still managing to actually live my regular life!
We got engaged Dec 08 and will be getting married in June 10. I knew I wanted a summer wedding and there is NO I was trying to plan a wedding in 6 months so I had to wait the extra time. it’s fine though-we are hosting thanksgiving, then the holidays, then it’s burrrr cold out and I’ll have my shower/bachelorette party in the spring and then SUMMER! My WEDDING! so for me it’s been really perfect so far.
i was the same way with my 15 month engagement. about 2 months before the wedding i seriously thought about flying to vegas and getting hitched on the weekend. these thoughts didn’t end until about 1 to 2 weeks before the wedding.
it’s worth it to wait! don’t ruin all your planning by doing something spontaneously for a quick fix that you might regret later.
I love this post! I had been begging my fiance to elope for the first few months of our engagement but he kept telling me that he had to have his cousins and family celebrate or it wouldn’t be a wedding. As much as I persisted that weddings were hard to plan and expensive he was gung-ho on planning one.
Until he had to plan the rehearsal dinner. You hear me. His one task is to get together with his mom and figure out what to do about that. And whats the next thing he said? “So I’ve decided that your plan on eloping is a good one, I just want to be your husband. Lets do it”
This is after I’ve booked a venue, photographer AND caterer. This is after I’ve ordered all my STD supplies and bought my dress…. boys.
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Mrs. Rainbow, Tampa Age and Occupation: 22, Makeup Artist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Electrical Engineer/Programmer Engagement Date: November 27, 2008 Wedding Date: May 2010 Venue: The Gamble Plantation About Me: I'm a quirky (and slightly Type-A) freelance makeup artist who was born in Washington State, raised in Alabama, and now living with my one and only in sunny Florida. I'm fashion and beauty obsessed, and have recently discovered my inner domestic diva extraordinaire. I'm a wannabe chef, decorating addict, and trying desperately to be as crafty as possible---albeit only with a glue gun. I'm hopelessly in love with my fiance, and all things sparkly and feathery. Despite the glittery exterior, I'm a total hippie on the inside. When I'm not making up pretty faces, I love doing what I can to help people, animals, and the environment. Someday the FI and I will change the world, but first we're tackling our modern-vintage-Marie-Antoinette-meets-Alice-in-Wonderland inspired wedding. I just can't wait to be Mrs. Rainbow!
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