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That’s what we’re currently doing to our guest list, and it feels oh-so-good.
I have found that, when it comes to the guest list, I am quite different than your average bride.
If we could get our guest list down to 25 people, I would be in wedding planning euphoria. Well, today, I’m happy to say that we’re close to that number. Very close. Closer than we’ve ever been before. We started of with 75, then we cut it down to 50, and then… and then.. 30! That’s right, we are inviting 30 guests!
We wanted something small, intimate, personal. That’s not to say that a wedding with a 300 person guest list can’t be personal, but logistically, it is much more difficult to incorporate those personal, homespun touches that I love so much.
That said, I’d like to share my personal guest list dwindling mantra:
“They’ll live.”
Yup, my two sanity saving words: “They’ll live.”
Now don’t get me wrong, I love and value all of my family and friends, but in Mr. Rainbow’s and my eyes, our wedding is a very personal celebration and if we only want to share it with a select few friends and family members, than our loved ones should be able to respect that.
So onward we go with our 30 person guest list! It’s a liberating feeling!
Did you choose to have a small wedding? How did your uninvited friends and family members react? Do you have a mantra that keeps you sane?
I’d LOVE to keep it that small. And we probably could, but I also think I would really regret it. My parents friends are like family to me, and to not have them there would break my heart.
Our guest list is small by the standards set where I’m from, but in my head it’s still way too big. I’d love to be able to throw a wedding with 30 people.
*le sigh*
We had twelve guests, and I haven’t for a minute regretted keeping the guest list so tiny.
The only thing I would have done differently? Thrown together some sort of announcement or card for those friends and family members who weren’t invited, to remind them that we do love and appreciate them despite our choice to keep things intimate. An announcement would have eased a lot of tension, especially with older family members who felt shafted when they didn’t get an invite.
I think it just depends on what kind of wedding you want! Ours would have felt more intimate with 30 people, but I can’t imagine what the dance party would have been like (probably nonexistent!). Kudos to you for figuring out what you want and going for it!
My FMIL would not allow that…I tried to cut ours from 240 to 200 by eliminating people she wanted to invite that we had never heard of or met…and she caused a huge fuss.
Ugh. My mother says that I should do whatever I want and have the wedding I envision. My younger sister had 20 people at a Saturday Brunch wedding…
@Jo: We’re definitely going to send out an announcement to those that we didn’t invite! I wonder though, if they would be happy to get an announcement, or if they’d be offended that they weren’t invited to the actual wedding? Either way, we’ll be sending announcements, but I do wonder sometimes.
@Mrs. Mouse: Oh yeah, definitely! Our wedding is on a sunday evening, so we never intended for it to be a big dance party. We’ll be having a DJ, but mostly just for soundtrack style background music, I don’t expect a whole lot of dancing.
Oh how I wish I could cut my list. We started with 130 and growing to 160 right now. (Sad face.) I think by the time we are done it will be 200. Sigh. We just have huge families.
This is the reason I chose our venue. It has a max of 150 people. So if need be I can just use that as a reason certain peopel aren’t invited. It’s mostly my extended family who think every wedding is really a family reunion (this actually came out of one of my cousins mouth that we didn’t need the reunion because everyone could just go to so-and-so’s reception, when they only wanted a small reception)
On my FI’s side we don’t have this problem as his mom told him there are only 13 people on their side she wants to invite.
Hey Rainbow…this is great! Im glad I’ll be able to follow the makings of a small wedding.
My wedding will be small as well. It will either be just our immediate familes (13 people total) or our immediate families and very close friends (25ish people or so)…we haven’t decided.
Can’t wait to see how yours turns out!
Great! We had just over 20 people, but found a clean cutting point….no extended family. Just siblings (and their families), parents and grandparents.
There are a few other people I’d love to have invited, but it was much easier to tell one aunt that no aunts were invited and although I’m sure it didn’t make them feel any better, it eliminated the question “why are they invited but I’m not?”
We have HUGE families, and were looking at 300 people (easily)….and it wasn’t in our budget with building a house without bank financing!
PS: I felt like we didn’t get to spend as much time with our guests as we would have liked….I can’t imagine how impersonal a 300+ wedding would feel. (At that point it’s just personal between the bride, groom and bridal party)
That is great! Good for you! We only invited 43 people and all but one came. It was perfect.
That’s the same number of people we’re having! Our goal is 25, and realistically, it will be around 30. It’s about 30 right now. I agree, there are people who I would like to include, but I really wanted the evening to be sacred & intimate. Every guest we’re inviting is someone with whom we want to remember spending our wedding. And, likewise, we want each of our guests to remember spending our wedding WITH us. We are incorporating lots of fun little touches that we couldn’t have if we had a big wedding, and we want to keep the small party vibe. Our mantra has been: If we had a giant wedding, who would be in our wedding party? Those are the only people we’re inviting! Our best friends who we’d have as attendants, and our immediate families. That’s it! 
It’s been sooo liberating, and it really does feel like everyone there is part of the ceremony. Thanks for this post, I’m so excited to hear about all the details of your wedding!!
Congrats! That is a huge accomplishment! We are currently trying to cut our 300 person guest list, but people just keep getting added on instead!
I WISH!!!! My dream wedding would have been 40 people. But even though they’d “live” if they weren’t invited, they’d probably never speak to me again. 
Although I’m not sure that’s such a bad thing sometimes…
I wish I could keep ours that small. We’re at about 130 right now and it breaks my heart to think of cutting ANYONE!
Wow. Good job with sticking to your guns! I could NEVER cut down to 30!!! I’m such a sucker.
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Mrs. Rainbow, Tampa Age and Occupation: 22, Makeup Artist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Electrical Engineer/Programmer Engagement Date: November 27, 2008 Wedding Date: May 2010 Venue: The Gamble Plantation About Me: I'm a quirky (and slightly Type-A) freelance makeup artist who was born in Washington State, raised in Alabama, and now living with my one and only in sunny Florida. I'm fashion and beauty obsessed, and have recently discovered my inner domestic diva extraordinaire. I'm a wannabe chef, decorating addict, and trying desperately to be as crafty as possible---albeit only with a glue gun. I'm hopelessly in love with my fiance, and all things sparkly and feathery. Despite the glittery exterior, I'm a total hippie on the inside. When I'm not making up pretty faces, I love doing what I can to help people, animals, and the environment. Someday the FI and I will change the world, but first we're tackling our modern-vintage-Marie-Antoinette-meets-Alice-in-Wonderland inspired wedding. I just can't wait to be Mrs. Rainbow!
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