Weddingbee Blog

Remember the first name post? or the second? or the third!? Or how I wrote about how poor I am at decision making? Well, combine that all into a “I’m 25-and-I-can’t-name-myself” sandwich.

I know… I know I said that we played rock paper scissors and I lost, and I said that I was fine with that. It’s just that the issue of a name change kept arising. Everywhere I turned people were asking me to make a decision about it. It wasn’t just about the wedding; sure, there were the questions of what we should be announced as when we headed down the aisle, as we headed into the reception, etc. The occasions just went so far beyond that.

I started a new job and had interviewed under my birth name, but I lost at rock, paper, scissors, so I asked them to use my new last name on my first day. I had to change my computer log in, database log in, phone, my email… on and on! Then they asked about my business cards, and the sign for my office, and I caved. I went for the double barrel because I just couldn’t imagine hiding my birth name in my middle name any longer. It just didn’t feel like me to say “first name completely different last name” to introduce myself. In fact, I’ve found myself channeling Madonna and Cher. When I meet someone new, even if it’s for work, I only use my first name. It’s my safety blanket, the one name I feel completely comfortable with at the moment.

I went on a series of business trips that called for air travel and since I had asked everyone at work to use my married name my tickets were booked in my married name. So, my travel rewards programs had to be in my new name. None of my identification had been changed, so everywhere I went I carried my marriage license. The TSA was none too pleased to have me gallivanting around the airport with differing forms of ID. My new employer’s health insurance has my married name, so does my insurance card. So I’ve had to change my name at each doctor I see and at my pharmacy. It’s still strange to hear myself referred to as “Mrs. Married name” or as a couple to be known as “The Marrieds”.

I’m reminded about this decision at least once a week and I still don’t know what I want to do. Mr. D said he’d be just fine if I stayed “D’orsay” and he’d stay “D”, but odd as it is I don’t think I’d be comfortable with that solution. I’m in a spot where I want to recognize our union in our name, but I don’t want to disown my family name, either.

Obviously, I ultimately want both of us to feel comfortable with our married name(s). Instead of the quick “easy” process I thought it would be, it’s clearly going to be a long road to figuring out what works. I’ll let you know if we hit that goal before our first anniversary.

Anyone else taking the long road with the name decision?