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Ms. Potato Chips, Boston/Narragansett RI Age and Occupation: 29, PhD Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Personal Trainer/Business Owner/Physical Therapy Assistant Engagement Date: January 1, 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: The Narragansett Towers About Me: A semi-professional bookworm, if I could be a literary character I’d be a cross between Jo March and Jane Eyre, only better accessorized and much lazier. My hobbies include sleeping in, seasonal brews, running, Trader Joe’s, and watching Unwrapped and Good Eats with Mr. Potato Chips. I harbor an irrational fear of tulle, crafts, things that are fussy, and overuse of the phrase "Your Special Day". After a year or seven together, down the aisle we go, slouching toward adulthood and planning a Rhodie party with equal parts whimsy, cheer, and pizza.
About Ms Potato Chips

There once was a girl with the smallest feet in the land

Through Nordstrom she looked, even the Britney Spears brand.

She searched high and low; she searched far and wide.

(She thought of Black Friday, but the idea made her cry.)

So online she went, so done with that scene!

And typed “child bride shoes” into the Google machine

Click click went her mouse, though her Visa said Hey!

SHUT UP, she snapped back, IT’S MY SPECIAL DAY!!

Into the cart went one pair, satin and sweet

But they arrived and were twice the size of her feet.

Alas! Alack! The first pair did not fit

Back to the Internets! Where she would sit and would sit

Until she spied—what is this—an even prettier pair?

Smaller, and fit for even Miss Queen Bee Blair!

Three inch ivory pumps with a delicate bow,

Soft as silk and an appropriate point to the toe.

“These are it! I have found them!” she wanted to call

Until they came in the mail—and her feet? Still too small.

A tear rolled down one cheek and her expression grew darker

Who could she turn to? Rachel Zoe? Sarah Jessica Parker?

A third Internet search, and hark! There they were!

Fiercer than Miss Jay and Tyra combined, yes sir.

She smiled and thought, “These will totally disarm

And in fairy tales isn’t the third time the charm?”

But the price was steep, significantly higher.

She hemmed and she hawed; the situation grew dire.

Surely these beauties are worth the extra dough??

Her heart said YES, Suze Orman said NO.

Sorry to say this tale has no end,

And she’ll turn it over to you, her Internet friends.

Is it true all is fair in love and in shoes?

What if searching drives this girl to booze?

When to splurge and when to save?

When to be sensible and when to behave?

If you have a suggestion, give it a whirl

So continues the tale of the poor shoeless girl.

The Poor Shoeless Girl: A Cautionary Rhyme :  wedding shoes 6219 910645 P 6219-910645-p

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Tags: shoes |
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89 Responses to “The Poor Shoeless Girl: A Cautionary Rhyme”

1 2 3 4 5 

1.
Miss Sapphire
Member
Miss Sapphire (message)  1,398 posts, Bumble bee

Cute! Just buy them. :)

 
2.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Pudding (message)  1,180 posts, Bumble bee

Those are THE shoes I have been eyeing for weeks! They are gorgeous and just the right amount of height…..so expensive though!

 
3.
pennednpapered
Member
pennednpapered (message)  286 posts, Helper bee

Clever and cute poem! I have just started planning. Is it sad that I’ve been thinking about shoes more than photographers, caterers, and music? So, I can just imagine that I’ll be in a similar pickle as you when I do finally start looking at dresses and shoes. Wishing you lots of luck finding the perfect pair.

 
4.
Guest Icon
Guest
Alison

buy them!! they are SO adorable! and you can find a way to wear them again for sure!

 
5.
TheDivineMissE
Member
TheDivineMissE (message)  394 posts, Helper bee

Ok, that was AWESOME!!! Sorry you’re having such a hard time finding shoes. :(

 
6.
honeybun
Member
honeybun (message)  1,783 posts, Buzzing bee

Suze Orman said no - HAHAHAHA friggin’ hilarious!!!! What size shoes do you wear??

 
7.
JuneBride_26June2010
Member
JuneBride_26June2010 (message)  1,739 posts, Bumble bee

i LOVED it! lol. :)
also - I feel your pain - on the opposite end. I wear size 11 shoes and have EXTREMELY sensitive feet … so shoe shopping is literally painful. :(

good luck though! and those shoes you posted are ADORABLE!

 
8.
tea
Member
tea (message)  7,263 posts, Bee Keeper

haha, great poem. i also liked the suze orman line. she’s such a buzz killer some days. haha.

 
9.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Moonbeam (message)  1,732 posts, Bumble bee

Oh those are cute, quite the dilemma!

 
10.
Brianalaura
Member
Brianalaura (message)  1,482 posts, Bumble bee

I am totally the wrong person to answer this, I’m too practical (and way taller than you). I went with these because I want to be comfortable and I am passionate about education in Africa:

http://www.ssekodesigns.com/

They are totally beautiful though, maybe you could squish the budget around?

 
11.
peanutlovespumpkin
Member
peanutlovespumpkin (message)  675 posts, Busy bee

I think you should totally get the shoes, especially since you wrote that fabulous poem :)

 
12.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Peep Toe (message)  1,804 posts, Buzzing bee

Amazing post. Love the shoes. Just do it!!

 
13.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Rainbow (message)  1,534 posts, Bumble bee

omg p.chips. i love your poem! you’re hilarious!

 
14.
pvaulter718
Member
pvaulter718 (message)  2,116 posts, Buzzing bee

Poem - please write more

Shoes - BUY THEM!

Some things are worth the splurge, in your case, you’ve spent plenty of time researching your options, and unfortunately for your very small feet, your options, while beautiful, are slightly expensive.

 
15.
LatteLove
Hostess
LatteLove (message)  5,587 posts, Bee Keeper

ahhh! I am in love with this post. And I’m sorry your feet are too small (mine are much too big!)

 
16.
Bee Icon
Bee
Mrs. Hot Cocoa (message)  2,077 posts, Buzzing bee

Hee hee. I have size 5.5 feet, so I’m with you!

 
17.
Guest Icon
Guest
emariel

life is short. buy the shoes.

if you have buyer’s guilt, you could sell them after the wedding to a similarly tiny-footed bride?

 
18.
Miss Cardigan
Bee
Miss Cardigan (message)  8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

I love the rhyme! I’d vote go for it, unless they’re just completely ridiculous.

 
19.
Guest Icon
Guest
Stars

That was awesome!

 
20.
skibobrown
Member
skibobrown (message)  1,902 posts, Buzzing bee

“Miss Queen Bee Blair” — love it! Good luck finding your shoes!!

 
1 2 3 4 5 

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Ms Potato Chips
Ms Potato Chips

Ms. Potato Chips, Boston/Narragansett RI Age and Occupation: 29, PhD Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Personal Trainer/Business Owner/Physical Therapy Assistant Engagement Date: January 1, 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: The Narragansett Towers About Me: A semi-professional bookworm, if I could be a literary character I’d be a cross between Jo March and Jane Eyre, only better accessorized and much lazier. My hobbies include sleeping in, seasonal brews, running, Trader Joe’s, and watching Unwrapped and Good Eats with Mr. Potato Chips. I harbor an irrational fear of tulle, crafts, things that are fussy, and overuse of the phrase "Your Special Day". After a year or seven together, down the aisle we go, slouching toward adulthood and planning a Rhodie party with equal parts whimsy, cheer, and pizza.

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