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Despite the Mariah Carey classic, I’m one who keeps my feelings close to the vest.
You know that scene in Sex and the City (Am I six years too late for SATC references?), when Miranda gives a teary speech at Charlotte’s wedding only to hold the notes too close to a candle? Resigned, exhausted, she says something like, “I’ve caught on fire, I’ve shown emotion in public… I think I’m done here.” Ahhh that resonates, my friends! That resonates hard.
I’m okay looking happy and smiling in front of people, sure, but when it comes to the harder stuff, I make like Lady Gaga with the poker face (Am I six months too late for Poker Face references? Side note: does “poker face” mean something sexual? I am using it in the non-sexy form).
Maybe it’s a latent desire to show a stiff upper lip, maybe it’s self-consciousness. Whatever it is, showing my feelings in public makes me want to throw up a little. But weddings are all about feelings, aren’t they? Big ol’ blubbery out-in-public feelings just hangin’ around, getting in between me and my inappropriate jokes. Lovey-dovey, kissyface emotions, all up in my business. For all my family and friends to see. Cringe cringe cringe. Cringe cringe. Cringe.
Does anyone else stiffen up in front of large groups of people? How do you plan on handling your emotions on your wedding day?
I know exactly where you’re coming from! I’m terrified that my stiff upper lip will completely fail me (or all the emotions will percolate for the next 9 months) and I’ll end up being a blubbering bride unable to stop crying, let alone say my vows in any sort of coherent format.
Maybe I’ll give FH a signal that we can share that says “get me out of here - I need some space to shake off the emotions . . . I’ll be nice and huggy in 5 minutes.”
I don’t like showing my emotions in public. But I just didn’t worry about it at all for the wedding. I figured worrying about whether or not I would cry, or whether or not I SHOULD cry, was something I didn’t need to stress about.
Turns out, I didn’t cry on the day of my wedding, but I got a little choked up as I was finishing my vows and when my MOH made her speech.
My husband cried though, it was great!
OMG I have a LOT to say about this but I will spare you most of it.
1) LOVE Mariah Carey.
2) that scene when Miranda catches her notes on fire makes me seriously LOL everytime.
3) LOVE Lady Gaga.
But also, I am not into showing emotion either. And I am especially not into the goal of being SUPER emotional and trying to make everyone cry or whatever. We’re just doing normal vows (standard, not writing our own). We know how we feel about each other… our guests do not get to be privy to those dirty details.
I’m the worst, I cry all the time, usually in public! It’s awful, I know I’m going to be a complete and total disaster at my wedding, tears galore!
When I went dress shopping, I’m pretty sure that my consultants (yes, plural - we went to multiple shops) were somewhat devastated by my total lack of visible emotion. Yes, that’s right - I disappointed my bridal consultants.
Cracking awkward jokes and doing the YMCA. When I cry, I like to make jokes. Also, focusing on my FI instead of everyone else. I did that during my sister’s wedding when I had to give a toast - I focused on her an her husband, and not the 150 people I was sobbing in front of.
I heard a story about what ‘poker face’ means. Although I’m scared for life I will happily recount the tale for you if you like 
Yes, I am terrified of crying in front of everyone! I HATE that!!
Umm, yes. The downside to this is that a month after the wedding, my mom keeps asking me “So are you happy you got married? Do you REALLY love him?” about the man I adore. In one particularly memorable instance, she asked me this after we had just spent a half hour discussing how wonderful my new husband is. If ya don’t gush, they* don’t get it.
*They being my mom. And maybe a few other people.
I am sort of the same way. Luckily, on my wedding day, the only emotion I showed was HAPPY. Maybe I’m not much of a crier, I dunno.
@Mrs. Gloss: I want to know!
I am the same way. Of course I’m comfortable being openly happy (or angry) but I hate any sort of PDA and I’ve never been interested in expressing anything sentimental in public. You’ll never catch anything mushy coming out of my mouth. I mean I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 4 years so obviously I love him… leeeet’s just leave it at that! P.S. Never too late to refer to SATC!!!!
Ooo, I feel super awkward about crying in public. But I just cried in front of my entire conducting class this semester while conducting a rehearsal (I am so lucky they are all really nice people!) so I guess I got some practice in. How embarrassing!
i’m fine showing my emotions so long as it does not involve crying. i hate crying period.
and you know, i never know what lady gaga is talking about!
I’m with you P. Chips. I cannot imagine crying in public (although alone at home in front of a cheesy chick flick, no problem). I have no idea if I’ll end up being super stiff on our wedding day… but I guess I’m just going to go with the flow. If the tears start a-flowin’ let them come. (But not too many hopefully b/c i don’t want to mess up my makeup!)
You’re never too late for a SATC reference, lady. I fought to keep my emotions at bay at the wedding…primarily because if I had started crying, I wouldn’t have stopped, and when I do cry and can’t talk through the tears…I simply blubber! Fortunately, I made it, but that mean I barely looked at Mr. S through the whole ceremony!
I am pretty sure Poker Face is basically about pretending to be into it when she’s doing it with some guy. Or that’s the basic idea anyhow. Perhaps fantasizing about another woman.
I definitely stiffen up, although I am not shy. I just get a little awkward (read clumsy, prone to say odd things or make self-deprecating remarks) when in large groups that are focused on me. And I really don’t want to cry!!!
@Mrs. Stiletto-so true, never 2 late for the SATC reference!
With Xanax. Ha! I kid! I actually am not really all that concerned… I know I will cry a lot during the ceremony and need to fix my make-up, but that doesn’t bother me too much… as long as my nose doesn’t start running. That would be embarrassing. Maybe I should look into finding a hankie to carry, actually…
I’m *HOPING* I won’t be too emotional on our wedding day. I hate crying in public….even at funerals, and soooo don’t want any ugly cry face pictures from our wedding! Just happy smiles!
I just wanted to say it is NEVER to late for a SATC reference Sorry not much help on the emotional front I cry at everything so most ppl at our wedding had already seen me cry at least once.
@Mrs. Gloss: What does Poker Face mean?
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Ms. Potato Chips, Boston/Narragansett RI Age and Occupation: 29, PhD Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Personal Trainer/Business Owner/Physical Therapy Assistant Engagement Date: January 1, 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: The Narragansett Towers About Me: A semi-professional bookworm, if I could be a literary character I’d be a cross between Jo March and Jane Eyre, only better accessorized and much lazier. My hobbies include sleeping in, seasonal brews, running, Trader Joe’s, and watching Unwrapped and Good Eats with Mr. Potato Chips. I harbor an irrational fear of tulle, crafts, things that are fussy, and overuse of the phrase "Your Special Day". After a year or seven together, down the aisle we go, slouching toward adulthood and planning a Rhodie party with equal parts whimsy, cheer, and pizza.
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