Weddingbee Blog

When a bride-to-be seeks advice from the outside world, be it friends, family, or strangers on the Internet, we often hear the phrase, “it’s your day”. Should I spend more than I can afford on a dress? “Go for it! It’s your day!”. Should I make my bridesmaids wear seafoam green taffeta dresses? “Whatever you want; It’s your special day!”

I have to be honest: This concept is pretty foreign to me. Our wedding is about a celebration of our love, yes, but it is far from being “our day”. It is about bringing our families together, and honouring the fact that our guests have traveled long distances to celebrate with us. Being on a strict budget, this means that we will have to sacrifice some of “our” comforts as bride and groom for the comforts of our guests.

I have already mentioned that we will have a full open bar at our wedding. This is an expensive venture, but one that is expected at a Polish celebration. We will be organizing the bar ourselves which will save us a few pennies, but cutting the bar, or offering signature cocktails, would disappoint our guests***.

We will also be serving a full, three course meal, with a second buffet style “supper” at 10PM Even though “dinner” and “supper” are pretty much one and the same in North America, most Polish people eat “dinner” earlier in the afternoon, and “supper” later in the night. That’s right - we are feeding our guests twice. This is by far the biggest expense of our wedding, but with all of the polka-dancing and wodka-drinking that will be going on, our guests will need to be well fed! It’s a key element to keeping the party going until the early morning.

Between these two massive undertakings, close to 2/3rds of our budget will be blown. Here are a few things that we are prepared to sacrifice to ensure that our guest get the full “experience”:

Transportation: I really don’t care what type of car “takes me to the church on time”. We are looking into renting a fancier vehicle for the weekend, but will not be upset if the same car that drove Mr. Pudding the 700 km to visit me every other weekend also drives my bridal butt to the church and reception.

Honeymoon: We have pretty much decided that a tropical honeymoon is not in the cards for us. We will probably take a delayed trip in the winter, but the days following our wedding will most likely be spent lounging on the deck of Mr. P’s grandparents’ camp in the Finger Lakes.

Bridal Party: Even though we mostly chose to have a small bridal party for the sake of simplicity, I would be lying if I didn’t admit that the expense of a 20 + person wedding party terrified me. Between bouquets, boutonnieres, and presents, having only 4 people in our party will be a money saver.

Bridal Pampering: I have to admit - this one is super hard. I would love to have the full on “bridal treatment”, but realistically, this is probably the easiest way to pinch a few pennies. I will not indulge in any pre-wedding pampering, and that most likely includes doing my own manicure and pedicure. I will be getting my hair done (because it needs to be perfect), but I am open to doing my own makeup.

These are just a few things that we will be sacrificing in order to make “our” day feel a little bit more special for our guests. We are certainly not sacrificing much, and to some of you out there it may seem silly that not getting a manicure is considered “saving”. One of my cousins in Poland who got married this summer was actually the designated driver at her own wedding. She drove Mr. P and I (and many others) home at 6 AM as her way of making her day enjoyable for her guests. I am certainly not taking it this far.

What are you doing to make your day special for your guests?

***I just want to be clear that our guests would be disappointed because an open bar is expected at a Polish wedding, and we would not be meeting their expectations. I think that signature cocktails, or even no cocktails at all, can be fabulous as well… it’s all about meeting expectations.