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Today I logged onto The Knot to see that our wedding is just a little over 100 days away, and the panic set in. Then I decided to click on my To Do List, and a page opened up with a lot of alarm clocks indicating that I have not accomplished many of the items on my checklist. Many of them were about the traditional tasks such as ordering tuxes for the guys or deciding on the perfect accessories for my ‘maids, but the first one staring back at me said:
Start taking better care of yourself. Get in wedding day shape by eating right, joining a gym, and/or even hiring a personal trainer.
So basically, I’m a fat ass and need to be sure I get skinny quick for my wedding.
I get it; we all want to look amazing on our wedding days, but the pressure to be thin and look perfect for our weddings is overwhelming. I even found a study published in Science Direct about this very thing. The article indicted that over 50% of participants planned to lose weight before the wedding, 40% intended to go on a diet, and around 67% indicated that they planned to exercise more. Sadly, more than 10% of participants were told by others that they should lose weight for the wedding. Both brides and bridesmaids said that looking good for the wedding photos was their number one reason for wanting to lose weight.
After reading the Knot checklist, I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror and started noticing all my flaws. I’ve already had body issues; but really, who doesn’t? It’s extremely hard for me not to buy into the need to be skinny, especially because our wedding is rapidly approaching. I’m healthy, I do something physical every day, but for some reason that doesn’t seem to be enough for my wedding. I’m feeling the pressure (mostly from myself) to lose major weight and get rid of all my problem areas.
I decided that I need to re-frame my way of thinking and focus on being healthy and happy about my body, but I know this will be a challenge for me.
Anyone else feeling the pressure to be thin? How do you handle it?
Oh god, yes! I’ve even had an aunt hint that I’ll miss eating dessert in the next few months….thanks a lot! I think it’s just one more way to make women obsess over changing themselves instead of being happy and healthy.
This is probably my biggest concern right now. I really want to lose 15-20 pounds before the wedding, and I haven’t done anything to make it happen. So mad at myself. :/ Maybe after the new year I’ll have more motivation?
I was just thinking about this over the weekend! I have lost about 10# but I think watching what I eat sooo closely has started to put me into a tailspin if I eat more than the calories I think I should have in a day… thanks for the post!
well usually i am fine with the way i look.. except for the “ugh i feel so fat” moments.. BUT i just picked up my dress on friday and my freakin dress was sooo tight!! i had to suck in places i didn’t think possible to suck so that it would close lol.. so now i feel the pressure.. ITS ON I TELL YOU!!! LOL so yea time to go to the gym!! i just wanted to add.. there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best on your wedding day.. just as long as you arent doing crazy diets and actually risking your health for it.
I was doing well but recently I have fell off the diet wagon. I’m an emotional eater and these are stressful times so it’s a lose-lose situation. Doesn’t help with the holidays coming too. Ugh!
I also have body issues-I’m a thick girl, and have always been. I want to focus more on toning and making better choices when it comes to food. I have to admit, I’m a sweets lover, and I feel that is going to be the hardest to kick. I plan on making sensible choices, and instead of eating an entire chocolate bar, eating a few kisses to satisfy my craving without packing on the calories. It’s hard. I am 8 months away, and very nervous about it, but will try my best. Good luck to you.
I not only want to start working out to lose a little weight and tone up for the wedding pictures, but I actually want to be healthier overall and just have more energy. I plan on joining a gym that is heavily discounted through my company and maybe assigning a trainer to get on top of me and make sure I reach my goals. I am sooo lazy!
I have been actively thinking about what I eat (which doesn’t always translate into changing my behavior - but at least I am aware of my actions now!) and trying to get back to the gym as of late.
It’s ironic because I am at a point in my life where I like my body, and now I’m being pressured into again realizing that it’s not ‘perfect’ or ’skinny’ enough.
So I am thinking about it in terms of a) saving money and b) being healthier.
I think the glow from being in love and getting married will make us look beautiful anyways!
Yup, right there with ya - Knot.com alarm clocks and all. Also feeling guilty every time I eat a cookie… which is a lot 
I stopped reading my Knot checklist because it stressed me out too much
i’m with you miss guinea pig - cookies are the devil for my waistline!
I think you can look at wedding-related weight loss in both positive and negative lights. Either you can treat it as a pressure that you must lose weight against all odds, or as an opportunity to put into place all those healthy eating and exercising plans, which will lead to some weight loss for most people. Because face it, most of us could stand to be healthier, which may involve losing weight.
I wish the emphasis was on eating healthy and exercising moderately. Just general good life decisions instead of crazy crash diets that will backfire once the wedding is over.
I am about 120 days out from the wedding and just started working out. I’m not so worried about loosing pounds because I think back to how much I loved my gown and how beautiful I was in it and I think “hey that was you at this weight and body and you looked amazing” I do however want to tone up my flabby arms. I got this book from amazon for 4 dollars called Buff Brides. They have a 12 week program which is about 30 minutes 4 times a week of free weights. I’m 3 weeks in and feel strong and noticing muscles. Think by week 12 I will be good to go down the aisle.
I just went and read my checklist on TheKnot and now my pulse is racing and my blood pressure is rising and I’m so stressed out that I want to go have a brownie. Clearly, this will not help me “get in wedding day shape”.
@redherring: Don’t do it!! I’m telling you, it had me in a tailspin! I thought I was on top of everything and then I went there and the stress set in!
@elysemichelle: I definitely agree that being healthy is an important goal, and I’m trying to re-frame my thinking that way, but it’s still hard for me not to get caught up in the numbers.
i started out thinking of a 12-month plan, then 9-month plan and so on until i’m now at the new year’s plan. we’ll see.
The Knot is pure evil sometimes. Their monthly reminder emails taunted me throughout the wedding planning process!
Wedding weight loss was tough for me. I lost a fair amount of weight in the 9 months before the wedding, but I had set an unrealistic goal with the wedding as my deadline. It meant that I felt like a failure because I didn’t lose as much weight as I thought I should have. Stupid logic. I lost an impressive amount of weight! So what if it’s going to take me another year to get where I want to be! I looked lovely in my dress, and I look forward to a boudoir photo session for my husband when I finally do make that weight goal.
It’s taken me a lot of thought to get to that attitude, though. It’s too easy to get focused on some fairy tale image that isn’t reality. My one word of advice: The stress will increase as you get closer to your wedding date. For some, this means overeating. For others, this means not eating enough. Plan for it. I didn’t anticipate what that stress would do to my system, so I didn’t take it into account when I was setting goals. In the last month, I was doing well if I just maintained my weight.
Bridal bootcamps and Bridal Countdowns stress me out. I think the approach that 99% of them take is wrong and it tends to stress brides out and inevitably make them feel bad about themselves, which is the opposite of what they should be doing.
The majority of my health counseling clients are brides. The absolute LAST thing I do is stress them out and make them feel bad about themselves. I teach them how to make healthier choices, support them in their goals, and teach them how to take exquisite care for themselves during the planning process. 9 times out of 10 those things result in weight loss and 10 times out of 10 it results in a beautiful, happy, balanced bride. I think that’s 100x better than a stressed out, insecure bride that just lost 15 lbs.
Just my opinion though. 
The Knot checklist gives me anxiety, I refuse to read it anymore…
Thanks for this post, Fro Yo, it’s definitely something to think about! Not only is there pressure to lose weight but there’s pressure to have good skin, pretty hair, etc etc!
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Mrs. Frozen Yogurt, Dallas Age and Occupation: 28, Special Projects Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Equity Trader Engagement Date: March 19, 2009 Wedding Date: April 2010 Venue: Marie Gabrielle, Dallas About Me: I was born and raised in Texas, and have lived in several of the cities across the state, but I currently reside in Austin. I went to college in Boston and have a special place in my heart for the Northeast. I love reading, shopping, wine, reuniting with college friends that are scattered across the country, reality TV, trying out new recipes, and attempting all the DIY projects that come along with wedding planning. I'm a "bleeding heart, save the world type" and thankfully my job allows me to work on legislation and policy to help out those in need. I met Mr. Frozen Yogurt in a bar, though he doesn't even drink! And now we are planning a modern yet vintage wedding in Dallas while dealing with the trials and tribulations of first time homeownership.
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