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Mrs. Spaniel, Los Angeles Age and Occupation: 28, Law Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Psychologist Wedding Date: March 2010 Venue: Calamigos Ranch About Me: I'm a third-year law student trying to balance graduating with starting my career, keeping up a relationship, and, oh yeah, planning an Old World, multi-cultural, "mountain lodge" wedding for 180 guests! A South Asian Jewish girl getting ready to marry my handsome Catholic Dane, I'm hoping to blend our cultures in our wedding just a bit more gently than by providing samosas as appetizers and offering æbleskiver for dessert. (Although that would also be awesome.)
About Mrs. Spaniel

Finding a Mother of the Bride dress was an ordeal. It was such an ordeal, actually, that Mama Spaniel could have started her own blog based on the search! Seriously—we were all over the board! I gave her a few guidelines about color and style, and then she proceeded to buy and return pretty much every single dress available through Nordstrom and Neiman Marcus online in her size (and even not in her size!). Some fit the guidelines, and some were red mermaid dresses. And when we thought she was satisfied with a dress, she changed her mind and did it again (she bought and returned the same Tadashi three times!). Although it appears that the search is over and the issue has been closed, two more dresses are en route. You can’t say the woman isn’t having fun shopping! ;)

Before the ordering spree started, my ideal dress for Mama Spaniel was something like this:

The Second Most Important Dress at the Wedding :  wedding dress Tadashi

Tadashi Shoji Rosette Bodice Silk Chiffon Gown, $398 at Nordstrom


I liked it because the colors are simple and blend into the wedding palette, the neckline isn’t too low, and the style isn’t too matronly. It’s just a beautiful evening gown.

She came back at me with all kinds of zingers—some of them were really pretty dresses that she returned because she didn’t like the fit, but some were really out there. And others were kind of in-between.

The Second Most Important Dress at the Wedding :  wedding dress Wong2

Sue Wong Paisley Foil Halter Gown, $410 at Neiman Marcus

This one isn’t so bad, I guess, but aside from being way too busy and in the wrong colors (though nobody loves paisley more than I do! unless it’s the future Miss Paisley?), it doesn’t exactly seem MOB-appropriate to me. At least, not this MOB, because she hates having her arms showing in pictures! I don’t think I could handle the years of complaining about our wedding photos that would follow!

There was also this one:

The Second Most Important Dress at the Wedding :  wedding dress Bouwer

Marc Bouwer Glamit! Lace Chiffon Gown, $995 at Neiman Marcus

We both actually liked this dress—right colors, right coverage, right fabrics, and so beautiful—but at nearly $1,000, it was sort of a failed endeavor before it was even delivered. It cost more than my wedding dress and was just a bit too rich for our blood. (I think it was a curiosity purchase on her part more than a serious one.) So, back it went.

In the end, Mama Spaniel found a dress somewhere in between her tastes and mine, and I think we’re both reasonably happy.

The Second Most Important Dress at the Wedding :  wedding dress Momdres

(personal images)

What, that wasn’t clear enough? Jeesh, you guys are so demanding.

The Second Most Important Dress at the Wedding :  wedding dress Suewong

Sue Wong Beaded Gown with Deep V-Back, Nordstrom

(She promises that you can see her in it once she finalizes her accessories.) It’s such a pretty dress in person… even though I’m afraid it’s a little too sexy. She picked up this shrug and plans to wear it all night. I guess I would have preferred a dress that didn’t need to be covered with another item of clothing in order to be comfortable, but since it’s not really my decision, I can live with it. (I didn’t cry, though.) ;) Hey, it works.

At least, I hope it works. As I mentioned, there are still a few more dresses coming. This search has been going on—no lie!—since last May. I didn’t buy my dress until August! I’m glad she’s having fun… but I am ready for this part of the planning to end. ;)

Were you involved in the Mother of the Bride dress search? Did you like what she ended up with?

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25 Responses to “The Second Most Important Dress at the Wedding”

1 2 

1.
Mrs. Mouse
Bee
Mrs. Mouse (message)  5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

My mom had trouble picking out a dress, too. In the end she went with one that she wasn’t in love with, but I think it looked great.

I think the dress your mom picked out will look great with a shrug!

 
2.
Member Icon
Member
Newport Nuptials (message)  1,230 posts, Bumble bee

I found my mom’s dress and luckily she loved it! Neither of us were actively looking for a dress for my wedding. We were actualyl looking for a mob dress for her, for my sister’s wedding, which was a year before ours. She ended up getting her dress 2 years in advance of our wedding and luckily, she still loves it!

Findign a dress for my sister’s wedding wasn’t quite as easy. I feel like more mob’s have a hard time finding dresses than the brides do.

 
3.
kayakgirl73
Member
kayakgirl73 (message)  2,158 posts, Buzzing bee

I didn’t like my mom’s dress, I thought I did until I saw it in the pictures. It wasn’t flattering. She waited unitl the last minute to look and is a difficult size to fit. UGh.

 
4.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Lamb (message)  970 posts, Busy bee

I told the mother’s to get whatever they wanted and to decide amongst themselves. They would ask for my input and I would say, “I will not be telling you what to wear. Get what makes you feel beautiful.” It worked perfectly for us. Both mother will be in a long, formal black number.

 
5.
Ms. Library
Member
Ms. Library (message)  1,251 posts, Bumble bee

I want her dress! That’s so pretty! Mother Library and FMIL Library are just starting to look, so I am hoping the process goes smoothly!

 
6.
Miss Pug
Bee
Miss Pug (message)  3,753 posts, Honey bee

haha–that’s so funny that your mom bought so many dresses and returned them. i think she set a record! the dress she chose is very pretty and the shurg should do the trick in terms of playing down the back (sexy!). but you know, your wedding isn’t until march…PLENTY of time for your mom to change her mind again!

 
7.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Spaniel (message)  6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

@kayakgirl73: At least no one can say my mom waited until the last minute. ;)

@Miss Lamb: It’s great that worked for you! I have visions of the dress my mom wore to my Bat Mitzvah swimming through my head all the time… it was all cleavage, all the time, and it was kind of embarrassing. I’m hoping to avoid that this time around.

 
8.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Spaniel (message)  6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

@Miss Pug: You know the funniest part? I think she did change her mind again between when I wrote this post and when it got published. ;) I suppose I’ll have to reveal it in the recaps!

 
9.
moderndaisy
Member
moderndaisy (message)  6,703 posts, Bee Keeper

AAHH I have 3 Moms and they are all so excited about what they’re going to wear! They are so cute - they emailed me almost a year ago asking if I had any style preference for them and I of course said no and to have fun with it. My Mom attends balls regularly, so she is just going to wear one of her ballgowns, but she is still excited about which one to pick! The other two I know have been shopping together, sending each other pictures from nordstrom.com, etc. It is so exciting! :)

 
10.
EAQ219
Member
EAQ219 (message)  1,448 posts, Bumble bee

Duuuuude….your mom sounds like my mom. Finding a dress for her has been more of a process than finding a dress for ME. She also tried on a dress than was more than my wedding dress. Ridiculous. Our saga is not over, sadly. And my FMIL hasn’t even BEGUN to search. Oy… Hope your mom’s search is over. It’s a hott dress!

 
11.
hotchildinthecity
Member
hotchildinthecity (message)  3,776 posts, Honey bee

My mom bought hers over Thanksgiving. She was worried about shopping because she didn’t want anything too matronly (she’s 51) and she definitely needed extra length because she is tall. She ended up with a really nice v-neck gown from David’s in green. It’s beautiful and fits her very well.

 
12.
Miss Cardigan
Bee
Miss Cardigan (message)  8,645 posts, Bee Keeper

That’s cool that she’s so excited about it - you could have the opposite end of the spectrum, which is my mother. She probably won’t buy a new dress and will wear one of the horribly ugly (harsh, but true) flower-y 90s dresses that she already owns. Sigh.

 
13.
ChillyBear
Member
ChillyBear (message)  175 posts, Blushing bee

i have a feeling this is going to be a long process for me as well. My mom hates shopping but i’m forcing her to go to stores and look with me. She has a cute figure and doesnt want a typical MOB dress. We’ve actually been looking at BM dresses. I have been asked to dress her, her three sisters, 2 grandmothers and my FMIL. all because i went to school for fashion. My FMIL is not very girly and i’m pretty sure the last time she wore a dress was her own wedding. But her best friend convinced her she needs to wear a dress to our wedding.

 
14.
Goldilocks1107
Member
Goldilocks1107 (message)  2,602 posts, Sugar bee

I don’t know how many MOB dresses we’ve been through. Theoretically, we’ve found “the one” (after ordering it again from Nordstroms). We even have shoes and accessories for it . . . not that that has stopped mom from looking. But, whatever makes her happy!

 
15.
pmerr
Member
pmerr (message)  2,518 posts, Sugar bee

This has been so hard for us!! I finally found one on the clearance rack & Penney’s that she loves!! She picked out my dress, I picked out hers!

 
16.
elisterine
Member
elisterine (message)  235 posts, Helper bee

What a gorgeous dress! I’m nervous about what my mom will want to wear…. not to mention the FMIL.

 
17.
Miss Nachos
Bee
Miss Nachos (message)  1,734 posts, Bumble bee

My mom actually bought her dress before I bought mine! She did great though, post coming soon to a weddingbee near you!

 
18.
Member Icon
Member
RAllise (message)  498 posts, Helper bee

We are having the worst time finding a MOB dress. Basically anything she wants in any shade of purple works for me. We’ve been all over Nordstrom’s but nothing is fitting right or formal enought. the search has been going on for months and we’ve traveled from one end of CT into NY…ugh, this has not been a fun task. Glad you found one, that is super pretty.

 
19.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Hamster (message)  4,046 posts, Honey bee

That’s a great dress that your mom ended up picking! I’m totally dreading the MOB dress shopping - my mom is very particular!

 
20.
Ms. Mojito
Member
Ms. Mojito (message)  399 posts, Helper bee

My mom was pretty worried about her MOH dress-she didn’t like the matronly look of many of the options she came across. My mom is also pretty particular, but she ended up finding exactly what she wanted!

 
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Mrs. Spaniel
Mrs. Spaniel

Mrs. Spaniel, Los Angeles Age and Occupation: 28, Law Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Psychologist Wedding Date: March 2010 Venue: Calamigos Ranch About Me: I'm a third-year law student trying to balance graduating with starting my career, keeping up a relationship, and, oh yeah, planning an Old World, multi-cultural, "mountain lodge" wedding for 180 guests! A South Asian Jewish girl getting ready to marry my handsome Catholic Dane, I'm hoping to blend our cultures in our wedding just a bit more gently than by providing samosas as appetizers and offering æbleskiver for dessert. (Although that would also be awesome.)

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