Weddingbee Blog

One fine evening, I dragged Mr. Rainbow, against his will, to a bridal show. I was expecting Mr. Rainbow to loathe it, and I to love it. Needless to say, it didn’t work out quite as planned. Mr. Rainbow did, in fact, loathe it, but surprisingly, I did too. I really thought I would love all the bright weddingy frou frou-ness of it, but that was not the case.

I always thought that planning a wedding was kind of a like a not-so-secret society that, instead of a secret password or key card, you get a shiny new ring on your finger. You know, ohhh ahhh, exciting! Oh, how naive and void of WE TV’s “Bridezillas” I was back then. In the year we’ve been engaged, I have learned that while weddings are certainly exciting, the actual planning is not all sunshine and rainbows 24/7, oh no.

Anyway, back to the bridal show. After walking through to pits of hell, er… shiny French doors, I noticed what seemed like an endless sea of frantic, rabid looking women with their eyes popping out of their heads. Did I miss something? Did the swine flu vaccine have horrible zombie-like side effects, a la I Am Legend, Resident Evil, or any other zombie movie plot you can think of? Oh no… these women were… brace yourself… brides. The horror!

It was as if I could hear them chanting “Welcome to the club, Rainbow” as they gnawed on my ankle. Why my ankle? I’m not sure. You’d think they’d choose a meatier part of me.

After getting overly expensive products hawked at me for the better half of an hour and being ’bowed in the ribs fifteen times too many by said rabid brides, it was time to hightail it out of there. Did I find any of my vendors from this little soiree? Nope. Did I win any of the said prizes that they tempt you with? Nope. Did I gain any useful information from this shindig? Why yes, I did. I learned never ever ever to go to any event with the word “expo” in the title. Apparently “expo” is code for flesh eating zombies. And they will get you.

Have you been to a bridal show? What was your experience like?