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Mrs. Pug, New York City/Half Moon Bay, CA Age and Occupation: 33, Lawyer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, ditto Engagement Date: July 2008 Wedding Date: March 2010 Venue: Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay About Me: The Mr. and I are two 30-somethings who enjoy tasty sweets of all kinds, our neighborhood wine store, and cuddling with our pug. NYC is where we live and the city we love, but we’re doing the deed out in Northern California. We are trying to keep the affair small, intimate, and manageable. Our motto is: the less people, the better! (I’m kidding.)
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Honeymoons Are Not for Brawling

December 16th, 2009 @ 11:11 am by Mrs. Pug

Traveling with friends/family/significant others is a very interesting and revealing experience. I believe that people’s travel habits speak volumes about their priorities and preferences. Hostels or hotels? Museums or hiking? Make reservations or just fly by the seat of the pants? Plan out every minute or just let things happen?

The thought process surrounding our honeymoon decision revealed something about our relationship dynamics. Our original plan was to go to the Umbria and Le Marche regions in Italy, and drive from town to town and stay in different agriturismos. I spent a whole lotta time researching all the cities and looking for cute places to stay.

However, the more we talked about it, the more Mr. Pug brought up doubts. But why, honey? Dontcha wanna honeymoon with me? The answer was yes, but as long as we were not at each others’ throats.

Going on a multi-city trip where we have to rent a car, drive around, and pack up and move every few days? After the hectic last rush leading up to the wedding? It might work for some couples (bless you and your ability to take it easy), but for us we knew we would be tense and stressed. An okay combination for a boxing match, not a lovey-dovey honeymoon.

Honeymoons Are Not for Brawling :  wedding honeymoon Boxing boxing_

Source

(this is about how intimidating I would be as a boxer)

How do we know this? Sadly, from previous experiences screaming at each other when neither of us can understand the map or even the GPS. While we have worked hard at getting better at this, I still I had to agree with his observation—we needed to go to a place that didn’t involve driving and lots of logistics.

In addition, we had to consider our preferences. I can sit on a beach all day, or by the pool with a drink, or in a spa. As in, I can have a wonderful vacation in a very limited amount of space.

Honeymoons Are Not for Brawling :  wedding honeymoon Pbal 25 pbal_25

Source

Mr. Pug, on the other hand, needs museums, he needs culture, he needs lots and lots and lots of walking! And he had always wanted to go to Bali (not for the beaches, but because of the culture—I know, I found the one and only person who thinks of Bali for its music and rice paddies, not its beaches).

We are accommodating both our preferences by spending half the time in a beach place (Jimbaran Bay), and half the time in Ubud (considered the cultural center of Bali). We can hire a driver for a day for relatively little money ($50), so we can stay in relatively few places and take day trips to other locations (i.e. no driving for us).

Was there anything about the honeymoon or wedding planning process that has taught you how to take care of your relationship so it doesn’t turn into a brawl?

Tags: honeymoon |
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27 Responses to “Honeymoons Are Not for Brawling”

1 2 

1.
Member Icon
Member
KtobeC (message)  103 posts, Blushing bee

you’re going to love Bali! Ubud is a great place and the people are so nice- excellent choice, it will be a great balance for the two of you!

 
2.
Ms. Library
Member
Ms. Library (message)  1,250 posts, Bumble bee

I have definitely learned that I am the total planner and he just likes to have a say in the major details. We have worked together on all of our honeymoon plans (we’re going to Italy and Ireland!) and it has taught us a lot about teamwork and supporting each other’s ideas.

 
3.
Gator
Member
Gator (message)  607 posts, Busy bee

I AM SO JEALOUS! Enjoy!

 
4.
Guest Icon
Guest
Daniela

Travelling with someone is REALLY difficult because no two people are the same. I like having the MAJOR details planned out like flights and what country I’m going to be in but other than that I’m free and open to all other ideas. Italy is an amazing place, great choice!

 
5.
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Guest
Miss Red Head

Sounds like a lot of fun! You’ll be surprised how exhausted you are so make sure not to schedule anything your first 2 days! Play it by ear if you’re feeling spunky! You’ll be thankful! Have a ton of fun! I am jealous!

 
6.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Sewing (message)  2,701 posts, Sugar bee

Bali sounds fabulousss!

Fi and I are both sight-seer types, so no beaches for us :)

 
7.
Miss Elephant
Bee
Miss Elephant (message)  6,182 posts, Bee Keeper

I’m totally a planner when it comes to trips, and he’s more of a “I’ll do whatever you want to do” type of vacationer. I think Bali will amazing and it’s good that you both will get to do things that you like!

 
8.
hotchildinthecity
Member
hotchildinthecity (message)  3,710 posts, Sugar bee

We’re dealing with this right now. Our original plan was Costa Rica, but the more that FI is explaining it to me, I’m picturing hours on busses, screaming at him while driving a rental car and packing up and moving every three days.

We’re changing our plans a bit ;o)

 
9.
Goldilocks1107
Member
Goldilocks1107 (message)  2,504 posts, Sugar bee

With the planning, I created a list of everything that needs to get done, showed it to him and had him rate each item as “don’t care - do what you want”, “do the research and I’ll help pick from 3 or so options” and “I really care about this item and want to be involved.”
This has helped me go on my planning binge while keeping him involved where he has interest.

 
10.
3pugmama
Member
3pugmama (message)  152 posts, Blushing bee

oooooooo! BALI!!! that sounds wonderful! MAYBE WE’LL VISIT!! ha aahahahaaaa

 
11.
Guest Icon
Guest
AprilBride10

Hahaha, this is why I put my foot down regarding the amount of cities we’re visiting in Spain. I do not want to have to pack up, get to a train station/airport, and navigate a foreign country any more than I have to. We’re doing 2 cities and 1 day trip, down from FI’s idea of 4 cities and a day trip. Its our honeymoon, not a teen tour!

 
12.
lemondrop
Member
lemondrop (message)  1,193 posts, Bumble bee

Mmmmmm, Bali sounds like a terrific plan!

 
13.
TeaGirl
Member
TeaGirl (message)  7 posts, Newbee

What helped us was to simply compromise on things. My husband likes relaxing at the beach/pool while I like touring places and scenic stuff. So everyday, we tried to do both (when we could) and for the most part, it worked well!

I’m sure you’ll have a wonderfu honeymoon!

 
14.
Mrs. Mouse
Bee
Mrs. Mouse (message)  5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

Great solution! I loved our honeymoon, but it definitely was stressful at times, with all the traveling, changing locations, schlepping backpacks.

 
15.
tea
Member
tea (message)  7,288 posts, Bee Keeper

that sounds like it’ll be a fantastic time! i want to go to bali!

 
16.
Guest Icon
Guest
Jina of JAC

It’s so funny that you write about this as I just finished watching JUST MARRIED (with Ashton Kutcher & Brittany Murphy). Great advice!

 
17.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Guinea Pig (message)  1,377 posts, Bumble bee

Great compromise! Mr. GP and I have opposite traveling habits as well, but he’s the one who wants to sit around and I’m the one who wants everything planned out, hit all the cultural hotspots, etc :) I think we both agree that on our honeymoon we should just relax, though!

 
18.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Trail Mix (message)  6,328 posts, Bee Keeper

Oooooh, Bali sounds awesome!! (although, I confess, I’m not 100% sure where that is located on a map…It’s in the south pacific, right?)

Mr Trail Mix and I both love to travel and although our personalities are such that you would think we’d get stressed and fight while dealing with travelling, we’re actually both really good about it….Not sure where we’ll end up but I can’t wait!

 
19.
Mrs. Bear Cub
Bee
Mrs. Bear Cub (message)  1,566 posts, Bumble bee

yay! Im so happy you’re going to bali!
I’m reading “Eat, Love, Pray” right now, and the author makes Ubud (and Bali) sound like paradise!

 
20.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Spaniel (message)  6,792 posts, Bee Keeper

Our honeymoon is a multi-stop road trip… and I am already regretting it. Bali sounds wonderful!

 
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Mrs. Pug
Mrs. Pug

Mrs. Pug, New York City/Half Moon Bay, CA Age and Occupation: 33, Lawyer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, ditto Engagement Date: July 2008 Wedding Date: March 2010 Venue: Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay About Me: The Mr. and I are two 30-somethings who enjoy tasty sweets of all kinds, our neighborhood wine store, and cuddling with our pug. NYC is where we live and the city we love, but we’re doing the deed out in Northern California. We are trying to keep the affair small, intimate, and manageable. Our motto is: the less people, the better! (I’m kidding.)

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