- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee Blog
If I was one of my vendors, I would probably be frustrated with me. See, I am one of those people who doesn’t know how to say no. Like ever. But really, I have an opinion; I am just too scared of hurting people’s feelings to voice it.
Let me give you an example: Say I have a vision in my head for my flowers, and I’m trying to communicate that to my florist, but then she suggests something that sounds awesome, but maybe isn’t the actual direction I’m hoping to go. It doesn’t matter. I can’t tell her no. Why? Well, I don’t want to hurt her feelings. That sounds so irrational, but it’s the truth!
Well, yesterday I decided I was going to email Kristen and ask for a change. See, in the beginning she recommended using trumpet vases for some of our centerpieces (those that won’t be manzanita).
Sounds lovely, right? But, I wanted something more quaint, less grand. Like this:
I asked her yesterday in this very mousey email (no offense, Mouse!) “Um… do you think maybe we might be able to change the vases for the centerpieces? I mean, I love the trumpet ones, but um… I sort of kind of like a different kind better. But, I mean, you’re the expert, so yeah, if you think that would look terrible, just let me know, I mean you would know better than me.” OMG, I’m so lame!! But she wrote me back and was like, “Of course we can work in what you like!” Phew! Why couldn’t I do that in the beginning?
Do you have a hard time speaking up about what you want?
I very much did, I called my florist about 2 months later and told her I had DIYed beautiful copper patina-ed vases that I wanted to use for the centerpieces and I basically changed her color scheme. I think that after I paid her I felt more at easy making bridal changes :o)
It’s been almost two months since I’ve taken my engagment pictures. I’ve only emailed him once to ask the status because I haven’t wanted to “bug” him. I’m terrible at sticking up for myself!
When my money is being used for something, I NEVER have an issue speaking up. You’re paying for it so you should get exactly what you want.
I have the same issue with my florist! I think it was because when I first met with her I didn’t have an exact idea of what I wanted so when she suggested stuff I was like “um, ok, sounds fine”. But in my head I was thinking - that sounds not quite like my vision -say something! But alas, I have yet to. Your post has given me courage to email her! Thanks Fro Yo!
Do you have a hard time speaking up about what you want? - Yes, with every single vendor. It’s an illness and I need to learn how to give better feedback.
@Miss Guinea Pig: Good! I’m so glad! It took me a very long time to say anything, but now I’ll get what I want and I’m so glad!!
@stephinPA: I wish I could do that! I’m trying to work on it, but it’s really hard for me.
Aww!!! Personally, I never have an issue speaking up, but I can see where you’re coming from. You’re so adorable. “you see, uhm.. maybe, can we?” lol ur too cute
YES! Totally understand. I have trouble speaking up, like, always. It’s bad.
I’ve found that I’ve had a harder time making sure FH’s ideas are being heard and it’s not just the Bride Show all the time. I’ll catch myself going “well, I want it to be this, this and this . . .” then I’ll pause and go “Do you like that or did you want something else?” My new goal is to ask for his input first 
Awww! I have that problem sometimes, too. But only with the wedding, it seems.
i do sometimes and it takes me a little bit to finally push to get what i want but it is worth it in the end!
Yes! I have that problem concerning the wedding - although I can do it elsewhere 
It’s hard but I’m glad I’ve not compromised on anything that Mr Moo and I were less than certain about.
Yes! If there’s one thing wedding planning has taught me is that I must ask for what I want. I hate it, but if I don’t, then no one’s happy.
I’m JUST LIKE YOU. It really sucks at times. I need to learn to state my opinion and stick with it a lot more!
I have such a hard time! Other people can make things sound just so great, even if it’s not what you want! But, good for you, speaking up!
… I wish I had that problem. I tend to steamroll over what every one else says most of the time. I really need to start listening to people.
I am the exact opposite. I’ve learned to speak my mind so that I get what I want, cuz too many times I have regretted not speaking up in the first place. Glad that you were able to get what you want - and prove that vendors really do want to make YOUR vision come alive 
I’ve learned to say what I want but be, I don’t know, nurturing? to the other person. I’ll be all “that sound really really nice, but I was thinking something more like this…” just to get it the way I want it right away, instead of having to go back and re-ask for what I want. It was tough in the beginning though, especially when it was friends or family offering their suggestions.
Fro Yo! Do not feel bad! I do this ALL THE TIME (I’m so sorry to bother you with this and that, etc), but you know what… you’re PAYING THEM! And it’s YOUR DAY! I know it’s hard, esp once you feel like “friends” with one of your vendors, but stick up for yourself and get what you want
ps - love the low, subtle pieces your planning for
I am the exact same way! I had a tough time telling the coordinator at my venue when I disagreed with his ideas. Sounds like your florist got the point of your email, though!
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Mrs. Frozen Yogurt, Dallas Age and Occupation: 28, Special Projects Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Equity Trader Engagement Date: March 19, 2009 Wedding Date: April 2010 Venue: Marie Gabrielle, Dallas About Me: I was born and raised in Texas, and have lived in several of the cities across the state, but I currently reside in Austin. I went to college in Boston and have a special place in my heart for the Northeast. I love reading, shopping, wine, reuniting with college friends that are scattered across the country, reality TV, trying out new recipes, and attempting all the DIY projects that come along with wedding planning. I'm a "bleeding heart, save the world type" and thankfully my job allows me to work on legislation and policy to help out those in need. I met Mr. Frozen Yogurt in a bar, though he doesn't even drink! And now we are planning a modern yet vintage wedding in Dallas while dealing with the trials and tribulations of first time homeownership.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
Latest Gallery Pics