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In my last post, I talked about the good things that can sometimes come with a long distance relationship. Now, I am going to talk about the worst: spending the holidays apart.
Mr. Pudding and I have always spent the holidays far away from each other. Even during our years at college, he would go home to Vermont for the holidays, and I would go to Toronto. We would exchange excited phone calls and emails about family events, and send pictures of us opening presents and celebrating Wigilia. We were always extremely sad at the fact that we were unable to share these moments together.
This year, Mr. Pudding and I will spend Christmas together for the very first time. We have dreamed of our first Christmas together for such a long time that I feel like my heart should be bursting with joy.
It’s not. For the last couple of days I have been very sad about the fact that I will not spend Christmas with my family. I have been missing my Mama, and Sister Pudding, and Tata Pudding, and even Brother Pudding (who’s studying overseas and won’t be home for Christmas either). I’m terribly sad about all of the family traditions that I will be missing, like Mama Pudding making Sister P and me bake terrible sugar cookie men, that often end up missing a leg, or an arm, or a head. I miss our plastic Christmas tree with lots and lots of silver tinsel. I miss the fact that the Christmas season meant that the whole family would be dressed to the nines all day, and we had to go to church practically every day for a week.
This year, I will be celebrating Christmas with the love of my life. We will open presents on Christmas Day (my fam opens them on Christmas Eve), in my pajamas, next to a real, live Christmas tree. We will eat cookies that look like they belong in a Martha Stewart magazine. It will be wonderful, and lovely, and very joyous.
But it won’t be home.
Anyone else spending their first Christmas away from their family?
Me! We have a similar situation. We were long distance and always spent Christmas apart. This year we decided we were going to spend it together and made plans to alternate between Ottawa and Halifax every year. This year it’s Ottawa and I won’t be with my family 
I am very sad about this!! We do so many fun things at Christmas and I’ll be missing out. I have never ever been away from home this time of year. It makes me look forward to next year when we’ll both be in Halifax though!!! 
This is my last Christmas Eve at my parent’s house. As much as I love my soon-to-be hubby, I’m so sad about having to leave my traditions behind. I’m fortunate, though. I live just over an hour from my parents. So, I’ll still get to see them Christmas day. I know it won’t be the same, though.
No matching PJs, no Christmas story…
But, I’ll have the chance to start traditions at my house (I’m trying to see the bright side…).
The good thing about us is that his family celebrates Hanukkah and not Christmas, so I don’t have to choose. The bad thing is that going home for Christmas kind of highlights the fact that I no longer live near my family, but see his family all the time. The tradeoffs of bringing an LDR together.
I can’t stand Christmas with my husband’s family. He’s an only child, so it’s just 4 of us. BORING! I’m used to spending Christmas Eve with my loud and large Irish Catholic mom’s side of the family (where just my aunt, uncles, cousins, and their children number about 40 people) and Christmas Day with family friends having dinner with 20 people.
The quiet and sedate holidays just make me sad.
Me too We can’t make it home to Florida to spend the day with our families, but we’re trying to make the best of it and enjoy each other’s company…and start some family traditions of our own!
This may be my last Christmas with my family for a little while, and it does sort of make my stomach clench up to think that next year we’ll either be across the country or staying home. Ulp.
My family is small and his is HUGE. I’m terrified of being lost in a sea of people. Smiling and welcoming people, sure, but also shrieking, pushing, joshing, yelling, fighting people.
not this year. it’ll be weird when i do though but i am really looking forward to spending christmas with the mister
I’m sorry you’re disappointed in not being home for the holidays this year! Maybe you two can up with a few of your own traditions to start so that when you are at your home next year, it will truly be “home.”
I’m really disappoited that I won’t be home for the holidays. We haven’t even decorated due to trying to get unpacked from moving and running around two much. His family is a lot quieter than mine and doesn’t like to play games like my family does. They tend to talk religion which I hat and they also spend a fair amount of time speaking in a language I cant understand, especially when hs grandparents are around.
Oh Pudding, I feel you! I’m with my ILs this year for the first time. I’m excited to be with my husband, but really missing my family. I will be seeing them later on Christmas Day (we’re about 4.5 hours away, but driving down on Xmas morning), but I’m sad that I’m missing all the fun build-up and Christmas Eve. I’m hoping that eventually we can start some of our own traditions instead next year, so I can feel like I have a little control and can relax a little more.
I am in the exact same boat this year. In the 6 years we’ve been together, my fiance and I have never had a Christmas together, even though we’ve been living together for 3. I’m excited we’ll finally be in the same place, but somehow it just doesn’t feel right not being with my family.
Aw, I can sympathize and I promise it does get easier. The holidays are kinda sad for a lot of people, especially those who don’t have a family as wonderful as yours, or people whose families have broken up, or people who have crappy relationships with their in-laws. You are not alone in longing for another time and place!
It will get easier the more Christmases you spend together!
Yep, first time ever I’m not spending Christmas day with my family. I thought it would be really hard but I am actually okay with it. We spent last weekend with my family, and they live a lot closer (3 hour drive versus 4.5 hour flight) so we see them all the time. If only my flight would leave! It’s already been delayed for 2 hours!
Yep! It’s especially different since they live in Las Vegas and my family is from Minnesota!
<> This is my first Christmas without my daughter in 25 years, but she’s with the man she loves and will spend the rest of her life with and that warms my heart. This will be their first Christmas together, too, and although she’s excited, I know that tears will fall from her eyes, too. But that’s love…and that’s life. I couldn’t be happier for her to have found such a wonderful man….even if it means I will be missing her for many Christmases to come…so, I know your sadness and I know your joy. Merry Christmas!
This is the first Christmas I won’t be with my family, and it is kind of sad. I’ll be with my fiance and his family, so at least I won’t be alone. And I will get to celebrate Christmas #2 with my family in January.
This is the first Christmas I won’t be home with my family I’m pretty sad too which makes Mr. GP feel sad, but I just keep reminding myself that I’m happier to have met Mr. GP than to have not met him and be spending this Christmas with my family!
Me!!!
Ugh. This is my first Christmas ever that I’m not with my family, and it makes it very difficult to celebrate and enjoy our first married Christmas because I keep thinking about all the things I’m missing. His family isn’t into all the traditions and events that mine is, so it’s a bit of a culture shock. I had quite the pity party for myself earlier today, but I’m trying to put on a happy face about it all now. Good luck and Merry Christmas!
Aww, I hope you have a wonderful first Christmas with Mr. Pudding!!
I would so miss my family traditions too! Mr. Cola and I still don’t know how we’ll handle holidays, since our families don’t live close…but I have a feeling it might be agreeing to spend some of them apart.
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Mrs. Pudding, Greater Toronto Area/Vermont Age and Occupation: 26, High School Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Computer Engineer Engagement Date: August 2008 Wedding Date: July 2010 Venue: Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall Reception About Me: Quite literally a citizen of the world, I was born in Poland, grew up in Canada, and now live in the beautiful state of Vermont. I love reading historical biographies, multi-tasking, teasing my hair, and, despite my height, wearing high heeled shoes. I am the ultimate klutz with an uncanny ability to put on a graceful front. Mr. Pudding and I have been dating for over six years, and are very excited to finally merge our (very large) families. We are planning a traditional Polish-Catholic wedding that is anything but predictable.
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