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Sharing holidays stinks! There, I said it! You know it’s true!
And that is why, in the six years we’ve been together, we’ve never shared a holiday. Typically on Christmas Eve day, we kiss goodbye and wish each other adieu, and he drives down to Rhode Island to hang out with his parents and I drive to the next town over to hang out with my parents and SistahChips.
On Christmas Eve, my family does an Iron Chef-esque cooking competition with a special featured ingredient (this year: apples!). Then we play board games. MamaChips (weekly church-goer) begs out of the midnight mass by sending my sister and me (biyearly church goers) in her stead (“Tell God I got too tired!”). SistahChips and I sleep in our childhood rooms, Santa Claus wakes our lazy butts up around 9:30AM, and we sit on the floor in our jammies and unwrap presents. That’s Christmas. And I’m fiercely protective of it.
Except… oh crap, I’m getting married. New traditions with our family of two and all that. Booooo. It’ll be great.
Although we’ve always spent the holidays apart, Mr. Potato Head and I already have a few small traditions for the days leading up to Christmas. They include:
Like many, I am deeply attached to my Christmas Eve and Day activities with my family. I don’t know what’s to come in the future, or how we’ll divvy up our holidays. We’ve already had conversations like this:
“Okay, okay… you give me Christmas Eve and Day, I’ll give you Easter, every other Thanksgiving, and Boxing Day. No good? How ’bout I throw in Evacuation Day and Talk Like a Pirate Day?”
This year, we decided to ease into this whole sharing-thing, which somehow ended up with the Potato Head Parents coming to my parents’ home for Christmas brunch. Have I mentioned that they’ve only met twice? Were this a sitcom, hilarity would ensue! But I expect it to be entirely civil and fun. Perhaps a new tradition will be born. If we have to share, we’re dragging everyone with us!
How do you navigate the holidays? Do you spend them apart or together?
We’re trying to figure this out too. Luckily our parents live relatively close (about 45 minutes) but it’s still really hard to mesh traditions, especially since my mom is totally set in her ways about family traditions! It’s gonna be interesting to say the least. I’m looking forward to having our own house and then we’ll just insist everybody come to us!
I completly understand this! I don’t want to give up my Christmas, he can come along, but going to his family and leaving my family behind… no way! But wait, I can’t do that, I have to split it up. It is a bit differant for our family this year though by Papaw (grandfather) is in the hospital so we are putting our Christmas off until he is better, so the only way I’ll get Christmas is by going to his.
We spend all of the holidays together and we have for the two years we’ve been together. However, since we have to make the rounds to 3 or 4 different family get togethers AND we are the only ones without kids, we spend half the time in the car. I’m looking forward to the day when we have babies so everyone can come to us 
yay–way to tell it like it is. i love your christmas traditions–i get all warm and fuzzy just thinking about them. we’re going to be splitting christmas and thanksgiving between both families, and alternating each year, or something like that. whatever.
ugh, ours was a BATTLE! You seem to have it semi-figured out. My family celebrates in Wisconsin and his in Virginia (where we both live)..sooo, we’re in the airport right now to go to WI. We are going to switch off every year..I suppose.
But for this year, I WIN!
Oh my gosh, I don’t how it’s possible I missed this - but I LOVE your venue! I saw it while visiting a friend at URI years ago!
I definitely miss Christmas at my parents’ house, espcially since my fmil gets all of her validation from her family and likes to enforce merriment and thus squeezes the life out of you.
I might be bitter about this. I haven’t had my family’s Christmas in 2 years!
Apart. With no imminent plans to change. My man is more willing to compromise, BUT I suspect that’s because he knows my family holidays are more fun 
My theory is that we see each other every day, while we only see our families (who live in states far, far away) about four times a year maximum. Easiest decision ever. Until/if we have kids.
And we did trade off some of the less stellar holidays as you mentioned: He’s with my family for Easter, and I’m with his for Memorial Day.
Christmas at your house sounds like the BEST. THING. EVER.
I can totally relate to this. My family and I are super, super close, and Christmas growing up was full of traditions that I had a really hard time letting go. And, I’ll say it, my in-laws just aren’t as fun (the hubs agrees, by the way). Our parents live four hours apart, too, which doesn’t make it any easier.
We’ve come to the decision that we should just do our best to make it even. I wish Christmas with my family could be the same, but it can’t. I have a new family now that needs the same amount of attention, and it’s not fair to my MIL so hoard her son during the holidays and claim that my family is closer and has better traditions. So, we sucl it up and split it as equally as possible. It’s always stressful, but usually worth it in the end.
I am SOOO not looking forward to splitting anything! I want to be with my family bc my sister has a 2 yr old and what is better then a toddler on Christmas? Youngest at his families house is 18 - not fun anymore! I see many issues in the decades to come on this topic.
We are trying to figure this out right now too. My family is on the East Coast and his are on the West Coast so unfortunately there is no way to see both on Christmas Day. We have always spent Christmas Day with our own families and then I usually fly out to the west coast the week after. But, this is the last Christmas we are spending apart as next year we will be Mr and Mrs!
I completely feel your pain!
We are doing every other Thanksgiving with eachother’s family. Christmas Eve Day with his family, Christmas Eve night with mine (church and dinner)…with his mom invited! Then Christmas Day we are together no matter what.
It’s complicated. I’m really attached to my family too.
=(
For the past few years, we have my family over (or go to my parents house) on Christmas Eve. We have a nice dinner, open presents, have dessert, chit chat, and then everyone goes home. Christmas morning we have our own Christmas with just the two of us, then around 11am we head to his parents & do it all over again.
Thanksgiving we usually do dinner one place & dessert the other, and Easter dinner is always at his parents. One day I’d like to have EVERYONE to our house for Christmas.
The past few years we’ve alternated who we spend Thanksgiving with - his family one year, mine the next. But we’ve always done Christmas apart.
This year is the first we’ll be spending Christmas together. We’ve decided that we’ll do Thanksgiving with one family, and Christmas with the other - than swap the following year.
Which is fine, this year, as he’s coming with me. Not sure how I’m going to feel next year when I’m not with my family 
We are struggling with this, too. My fiance’s family is Hindu, (my family is Catholic), so they just don’t celebrate Christmas the way I did growing up. They do still get together (albeit no tree), so it’s hard to call “dibs” on Christmas just because they don’t celebrate it like I do. This year, he is coming to my parents’ house for Christmas Eve, and we are going to his parents’ house on Christmas Day. Did I mention there would be no tree? Sob.
Both our parents are divorced and remarried. So we have 4 families to visit. We both go to visit them all between Christmas Eve and Christmas day in a mad race my fiance calls the Holiday 500.
@Kittyachi: We say about too, about getting our own house and having everyone over. I really have no cause to complain: our parents live a measly hour-and-a-half away. Plus it’s my mom who’s practically kicking me out of Family Christmas, all “Well you have a fiance now!”
@future wolf: I hope your Papaw gets better soon!
@ajonesyy: Yay for winning! Yeah, the trip from Mass. to Rhode Island is nothing to complain about…but I do anyway.
@Mrs. D’orsay: Did you really? Fun!
@diorable: Tis the season to be bitter!
My boyfriend and I actually decided this yesterday, but we still spend holidays apart since we both live with our parents so we don’t know if our future plan will actually work one day.
We plan to spend Christmas Eve to Christmas Day with one family and Christmas Day to Boxing Day with the other’s family. And each year we will flip which family gets which day.
We both really just love Christmas, but none of our family traditions are too deep-seated that we won’t be able to jumble them up a little. I look forward to those new traditions and memories whenever the time comes that we need to try out our new Christmas plan.
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Ms. Potato Chips, Boston/Narragansett RI Age and Occupation: 29, PhD Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Personal Trainer/Business Owner/Physical Therapy Assistant Engagement Date: January 1, 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: The Narragansett Towers About Me: A semi-professional bookworm, if I could be a literary character I’d be a cross between Jo March and Jane Eyre, only better accessorized and much lazier. My hobbies include sleeping in, seasonal brews, running, Trader Joe’s, and watching Unwrapped and Good Eats with Mr. Potato Chips. I harbor an irrational fear of tulle, crafts, things that are fussy, and overuse of the phrase "Your Special Day". After a year or seven together, down the aisle we go, slouching toward adulthood and planning a Rhodie party with equal parts whimsy, cheer, and pizza.
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