Weddingbee Blog

At 32 years old, I’ve had… let’s just say… a few boyfriends. And every single butt head ex of mine (I know, real mature, hehe) makes me appreciate Mr. N so so so much more. It actually makes me really happy that I’m getting married to my dream guy a little later in life than originally expected because I had a chance to sort through a swarm of Mr. Wrongs to get to Mr. Right. And it was quite the learning experience! (I’m by no means saying there is anything wrong with getting married younger or marrying your first boyfriend, it just didn’t work out that way for me.) Looking back, I now understand why my mom didn’t get the warm fuzzies around any guy that I introduced her to before Mr. N came back into my life. Oh yeah, I dated some winners! So, here’s a tribute to the past for making me appreciate the present and future…

To the high school rich boy that always had your nose up in the air:

(source)

Enjoy your pool, your Jaguar from your mummy and daddy, and your snooty friends and family that never made me feel welcome. I hope you find someone that can put up with your condescending attitude and call you “lovey” a la Mr. Howell from Gilligan’s Island. You make me appreciate Mr. N so much more for his warm heart and generosity, his social skills, and his wonderful family that I’m becoming a part of.

To the bad boy who thought the world was out to get you:

(source)

Your dirty jeans, long hair, and not so nice attitude towards my friends, family and life in general were too negative for this happy-go-lucky gal. You help me appreciate Mr. N for his ability to show people his true self without putting up a front, his belief that life will only keep getting better, and for the way he loves my family and friends. It’s really refreshing being with someone that likes your friends even before he meets them simply because he knows that if you picked them, they’re good peeps.

To the college pretty boy who was in love with himself:

(source)

No one cares if you have a hair out of place, your satin sheets don’t match the duvet, or your socks don’t perfectly match your popped collar. Sneaking off at a party to take a hit so you could tell everyone that you did does not change you into a bad boy (see description above). You, pretty boy, have helped me appreciate Mr. N’s quirks, his casual style, the fact that he stays true to who he really is and is never fake, and his ability to laugh at himself. To me, nothing is sexier than someone that can trip over their own feet and giggle.

To the musician, you poor tortured soul, you:

(source – yeah, I know he’s not a musician but what a picture)

Singing in a local unknown band to a bunch of pub crawling drunk guys does not make you a celebrity. I hope you find a girl that will do your laundry, clean up after you, and put up with cheating. You, musician, make me appreciate Mr. N for his love of ’80s metal without feeling it necessary to look glam, his ability to be self-sufficient, and his loyalty and devotion to me. I have never feared that Mr. N was anything less than a faithful, trustworthy guy and security in a relationship is a great feeling.

So in my weird way, I thank you all, jerky boys, for being morons and not treating me the way you should have, because it taught me what not to put up with. It also showed me that Mr. N is my knight in shining armor and I’m glad I held out this long for him.

So a toast to you exes who taught me what love shouldn’t be -

To the rich boy, for your sake, may your trust account never go dry,

To the bad boy, for your sake, may the man keep you down,

To the pretty boy, for your sake, may your hair never start to thin,

And to the musician, for your sake, may the groupies always find you attractive.

Salud!

Share your ode to your exes in the comments!

(Disclaimer: this was in no way a knock against men with bags of money, trust funds, Jaguars, pessimists, depressed males, beautiful men, or any guy who plays an instrument, sings, or is in a band in any way. This was specifically about guys that have come and go in my life. And they definitely didn’t deserve to get compared to the pictures I inserted, but I couldn’t exactly use their real pictures, now could I?)