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Miss Pug, New York City/Half Moon Bay, CA Age and Occupation: 33, Lawyer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, ditto Engagement Date: July 2008 Wedding Date: March 2010 Venue: Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay About Me: The Mr. and I are two 30-somethings who enjoy tasty sweets of all kinds, our neighborhood wine store, and cuddling with our pug. NYC is where we live and the city we love, but we’re doing the deed out in Northern California. We are trying to keep the affair small, intimate, and manageable. Our motto is: the less people, the better! (I’m kidding.)
About Miss Pug

Once Upon a Time…

January 5th, 2010 @ 4:00 pm by Miss Pug

When we first got engaged, I wanted to do something “different”, partly because I felt that at being post-30, I should be over the frills and chills of a traditional wedding. Well guess what, folks?  There’s not a chance.

After going through countless scenarios and considerations, I found myself at a place that resembled much more the traditional wedding than the I’m-so-over-the-wedding-industry celebration that I ever so presumptuously thought I would have. And you know what? There is no crying over spilled milk here. It’s all good. I’m inclined to say that it’ll be great. Because we chose it to be that way and we’re gonna embrace it.

In the meantime, though, let me share with you a few of the possibilities that I had previously conjured and then reluctantly surrendered.

Once upon a time, I thought of having a simple no-frills ceremony at a place with signs like this:

marriag

Source (City Hall)

And having a little moment like this, where I get to treasure something really special while still in the everyday world, with people around me going about their business, but me and Mr. Pug knowing and sharing something so happy that it makes things surreal:

3947137118_b831427424_b

Source (Ananda Lima)

However, this option was not going to fly, for several reasons, and they are called: (1) my mom, and (2) my sister. They were, to put it very mildly, not into this idea.

Once upon another time, when I was still thinking about keeping the ceremony private and just sharing it with immediate family, I thought of just getting married during the winter holidays in my family’s living room:

2

Source

(Yeah I wish my parents’ living room were this grand! This is an inn or something, not in a regular old living room, but you get the idea…)

With this plan, we would have a bigger celebration with friends and relatives later, because I couldn’t let go of the idea of celebrating with friends. However, to coordinate once with our immediate family members for the ceremony and then again for the reception seemed like too much.

Once upon yet another time, I thought of having a small, 20-person ceremony in Central Park, a 5 minute walk from our apartment, like this:

3

Source

Cute, no? But again, if we were going to plan a ceremony in New York that involved more than just the two of us, it seemed like a lot to ask family members to not only travel to the small ceremony, but also to a bigger reception, as well.

In addition, during our venue search, we found ourselves in California as opposed to NYC, so Central Park was not in the game plan anymore. I’m glad we even had the choice of having the wedding in either spot (many of our friends live in California), but there’s a part of me that feels a little wistful about not having an NYC wedding.

That wistfulness caused me to gasp a little when I saw this picture:

4

Source

This is in Central Park, and I know EXACTLY where this is. It’s nowhere special or landmarked. As you see it’s just an asphalt road, but I know this road. It’s one of the routes for walking my dog. Plus I have this irrational fondness for the notion of walking around NYC in my wedding dress (damn you, Mrs. Star, damn you! [shaking fist]… go see her awesome pictures!).

But I don’t regret the choice we made to get married in California, or that we’re having a larger, more formal celebration than we originally envisioned—sometimes you just gotta roll with it and love it, you know?

What kind of iterations did you go through in terms of the size/vision of your wedding? Are you feeling wistful about any of them?

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27 Responses to “Once Upon a Time…”

1.
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Bee
Miss Scissors (message)  6,258 posts, Bee Keeper

I have had such a major crush on that wedding of the last photo you posted since the second I saw it. *swoon*

The size of the wedding has changed so much. First, we wanted 50, then it somehow shot to 200, then we realized only 150 or so could be fit into our space. The location (my parents’ house) always stayed the same, though. Stupid Father of the Bride gets blamed for that! :p

 
2.
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Bee
Mrs. Mouse (message)  5,625 posts, Bee Keeper

I think in the end, you will love your wedding because it’s your wedding. :)

 
3.
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Bee
Miss French Fries (message)  1,617 posts, Bumble bee

I love that picture of the family in the “living room.” Pictures like that make me wish that we were having a smaller affair, but (much like you) our friends and family are too numerous to pull something like that off.

 
4.
tea
Member
tea (message)  5,023 posts, Bee Keeper

wow that last shot is beautiful. i actually downsized my initial vision to something that’s a lot more comfy and us. i love it!

 
5.
Jessie516
Hostess
Jessie516 (message)  5,278 posts, Bee Keeper

That last photo is freaking amazing! I do think that at times, our vision for the wedding changed a little. I love what we did, but there were times when we thought that a smaller, beachy wedding might have been a good fit for us. In the end, it worked out great, but it was something we considered.

 
6.
LittleSpitfire
Member
LittleSpitfire (message)  217 posts, Helper bee

I’m totally doing “day after” photos in NYC. We didn’t want to burden our guests with the cost of staying/getting into the city, and so that’s the next best thing for me!

 
7.
moderndaisy
Member
moderndaisy (message)  2,057 posts, Buzzing bee

Yes! Yes! We also wanted to do a courthouse wedding at first, but Mom and Sisters quickly vetoed that idea and now it’s a fancy hotel wedding in Philly, where all three of them live :)

 
8.
alishaneva
Member
alishaneva (message)  2,118 posts, Buzzing bee

My idea changes CONSTANTLY of what our perfect wedding would be. Good thing I have a year and a half to plan!!

 
9.
di5308
Member
di5308 (message)  311 posts, Helper bee

First a large more traditional wedding with all our family and friends, but outdoors ceremony and indoor reception.

Then eloping.

Then a very intimate, immediate family only ceremony with dinner to follow.

Then eloping.

Then the above with a larger BBQ reception/celebration to follow a few weeks later.

Then eloping.

Then a larger, but-no-more-than-100-people-because-that’s-the-venue-max-and-it’ll-still-be-tight-if-it-rains ceremony and reception at a state park right on a lake shore.

All while dreaming of saving money and eloping!!!

 
10.
bluestuff
Member
bluestuff (message)  94 posts, Worker bee

We went from wanting a wedding at a winery to an art gallery to a backyard wedding (where we’d have to use someone else’s back yard) to bed and breakfast to finally a small hotel’s courtyard. In the end, I think it will work best for us, since 90% of the guests would be from out of town. We’re inviting 140ish and hope to get around 100, but that’s still unknown.

Also, I’m glad you didn’t opt out of what YOU want simply because you’re over 30. It’s still special even for those of us over 30. Might as well have the wedding you want.

 
11.
3pugmama
Member
3pugmama (message)  116 posts, Blushing bee

It’s like planning MULTIPLE dream weddings, sometimes all at once! who could be luckier?!

 
12.
mimi06d
Member
mimi06d (message)  548 posts, Busy bee

I was all for justice-of-the-peace-ing it. My fiance was not okay with that idea.
(The first thing I thought when I saw that picture was “Whose living room look like THAT??” and then I saw your caption. :) )

 
13.
LatteLove
Hostess
LatteLove (message)  5,056 posts, Bee Keeper

sometimes I wish I could’ve had two weddings to accommodate all my preferences.
Living room ceremonies are so sweet and intimate!

 
14.
Birdie Love
Member
Birdie Love (message)  130 posts, Blushing bee

That sounds just like us as we progress down the road of possibilities for our wedding.

 
15.
Cole B
Member
Cole B (message)  1,163 posts, Bumble bee

Ever since I was 12 I knew I’d have a destination wedding, as it turns out I’m getting married 5 minutes from home.

 
16.
Champagne Wishes
Member
Champagne Wishes (message)  898 posts, Busy bee

I’ve always wanted a traditional wedding, I am planning a traditional wedding and all I can think about is eloping.

 
17.
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Bee
Miss Nachos (message)  1,344 posts, Bumble bee

For some reason, I love that living room wedding! But yeah, my parents’ living room looks nothing like that either.

 
18.
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Bee
Miss Spaniel (message)  5,119 posts, Bee Keeper

TTD in NYC… just sayin’… ;)

 
19.
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Bee
Miss Frozen Yogurt (message)  1,913 posts, Buzzing bee

Oh man, that bride in NYC looks gorgeous! I’m a little sad we’re not doing it in Austin because we live here, but it made the most sense to do it in Dallas. It’s just a wee bit more stressful.

 
20.
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Bee
Miss Pudding (message)  988 posts, Busy bee

I guess that that’s the positive thing about doing the “legal thing” first: We got an intimate wedding first, and now we’re waiting for our extravaganza!

 
21.
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Bee
Miss Snow (message)  628 posts, Busy bee

Our wedding continues to swell…people, budget, weddingness (if that’s word?)… Oh well, it is still fun and really not stressful (yet…).

 
22.
LoriLori
Member
LoriLori (message)  448 posts, Helper bee

I 2nd the vote for a photo shoot or TTD in NYC!

 
23.
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Bee
Mrs. Espresso (message)  1,220 posts, Bumble bee

I honestly can’t wait to see your wedding in Half Moon Bay. We named our dog after a surf break up there :)

 
24.
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Bee
Miss Hamster (message)  2,377 posts, Buzzing bee

I was having a destination wedding for about 5 years, until…I wasn’t. Pug, I’m willing to have a NYC wedding, just for you. No no, I insist.

 
25.
ms.pascua
Member
ms.pascua (message)  634 posts, Busy bee

Like @LatteLove, I’m for having multiple weddings to live out all my fantasies. Actually, that’s what we’re doing…Catholic Church ceremony with mini-champagne-and-cake reception; outdoor “vow renewal” ceremony with outdoor reception; & big, casual celebration where all my extended (mom & dad’s immediate) family live. NOW what I’m fantasizing about is all the money I could be saving with just one shin-dig. But there’s something about FIs & grandmas that eliminate the option of saying “no.” And, really, who wants to say “Oh, no, we don’t have to celebrate my marriage to the man of my dreams?”

 
26.
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Bee
Miss Pug (message)  2,081 posts, Buzzing bee

@Mrs. Mouse: you are always so wise and sweet, mrs. mouse!
@Miss Scissors: @Miss French Fries: @moderndaisy: damn family. kidding.
@tea: you usually hear about weddings increasing in size, so that’s really cool that you stuck to what you wanted!
@Jessie516: @alishaneva: @di5308: @bluestuff: @LatteLove: @Birdie Love: @Cole B: @Champagne Wishes: @Miss Frozen Yogurt: @Miss Snow: @ms.pascua: i know, kinda funny how things progress and turn out with so many options, right?
@Miss Nachos: i’m going to demand that my parents upgrade their living room.
@Mrs. Espresso: maverick?
@Miss Spaniel: @LoriLori: that’s a great idea!
@Miss Hamster: i know you’d have my back.

 
27.
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Bee
Mrs. Espresso (message)  1,220 posts, Bumble bee

@Miss Pug: I’m impressed. Yes mam!

 

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Miss Pug, New York City/Half Moon Bay, CA Age and Occupation: 33, Lawyer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, ditto Engagement Date: July 2008 Wedding Date: March 2010 Venue: Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay About Me: The Mr. and I are two 30-somethings who enjoy tasty sweets of all kinds, our neighborhood wine store, and cuddling with our pug. NYC is where we live and the city we love, but we’re doing the deed out in Northern California. We are trying to keep the affair small, intimate, and manageable. Our motto is: the less people, the better! (I’m kidding.)

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