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Mrs. Frozen Yogurt, Dallas Age and Occupation: 28, Special Projects Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Equity Trader Engagement Date: March 19, 2009 Wedding Date: April 2010 Venue: Marie Gabrielle, Dallas About Me: I was born and raised in Texas, and have lived in several of the cities across the state, but I currently reside in Austin. I went to college in Boston and have a special place in my heart for the Northeast. I love reading, shopping, wine, reuniting with college friends that are scattered across the country, reality TV, trying out new recipes, and attempting all the DIY projects that come along with wedding planning. I'm a "bleeding heart, save the world type" and thankfully my job allows me to work on legislation and policy to help out those in need. I met Mr. Frozen Yogurt in a bar, though he doesn't even drink! And now we are planning a modern yet vintage wedding in Dallas while dealing with the trials and tribulations of first time homeownership.
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Newly Engaged Dos and Don’ts :  wedding budget Martha Stewart Weddings martha_stewart_weddings

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I’ve noticed on the boards that there are quite a few newly engaged girls. Congrats to you all!! It got me thinking about how I felt when I was first engaged and all the excitement that goes along with that newly acquired status. It was awesome. I seriously could not stop grinning! Along with all that excitement comes a lot of inspiration, ideas and panic about how to make this whole wedding thing come together.

I thought this might be the perfect time to share some dos and don’ts for the newly engaged girl. Hopefully you can learn from my mistakes and triumphs.

Do:

  • Take your time to research vendors. There are so many great vendors out there, it’s going to take a little time to weed through them, their prices, and contracts to zero in on the perfect ones for you. You’re spending lots of money, so you deserve to know that you’re getting the best thing out there for your money!
  • Set a budget early. It will help you determine how many people you can invite, where you can hold this shindig, and basically outline the structure for the entire wedding.
  • Start gathering inspiration from everywhere. There are so many amazing blogs and magazines out there. You are never without inspiration! Save anything that speaks to you because it will help you get a better grasp on what ideas you want to carry forward. As you find new, better ideas, get rid of the old stuff that you don’t need anymore.
  • Enjoy being engaged! It’s so fun. Everyone is so happy for you. You’re a bride for that entire time and you do get special treatment. Relish it!
  • Create a binder to hold all the important documents and inspiration. I used my binder A LOT in the beginning. Maybe not so much now, but it still has all my contracts, and if I ever need to pull one out, I know exactly where it is.
  • Use friendors. Unfortunately, I don’t have any. But if you have talented friends and you feel comfortable entering into a “business” relationship, go for it. No one will care more about your needs and wants on your wedding day than friends or family.
  • Take a minute to reflect on the reason behind the wedding. A lot of times I felt overwhelmed or stressed out, and then once I realized that no matter what happens the day of (if my cake isn’t perfect, or the flowers aren’t the right shade of cream, etc.) I will still be married to the love of my life, and that’s pretty comforting.

Don’t:

  • Book any vendors too early. I know, you’re panicked that all the good people will be taken, so you rush out and start lining up vendors left and right. You might have to fire a vendor later on, or worse, you might end up using someone you didn’t really want because you didn’t know what else was out there.
  • Buy anything on a whim because it’s a good deal (dress, favors, invitations, DIY project materials, ANYTHING). If you don’t know for sure you’re going to use it, it’s not a good deal regardless of the cost. Wait to make any purchases until you have a clear vision for your day.
  • Send out save the dates too early. My guest list hasn’t fluctuated too much, but there have been some changes. I would hate to send out a save the date to someone whom I maybe didn’t really want to invite later (obviously, I would still invite this person later on if I had already sent them a save the date).
  • Ask people to be in your wedding party too early. I know, I know. She’s your best friend! You love her! You’ll never stop being friends! Unfortunately, you might. Or you might decide that you don’t even want a wedding party at all, and then you have to tell all your sweet friends that they are no longer in your wedding. That makes them sad pandas. You don’t do that to them.
  • Be unrealistic about what you can accomplish on your own. It’s OK if you’re not like Martha. I’m not, and I realized early on that tons of DIY projects were just not in the cards for me. I learned about Etsy and I bought lots of stuff. Done and done.
  • Be afraid to ask for help. See that ‘Do’ up there about being a bride? You do get special treatment, and people will help you, so just make sure to ask, or take people up on their offers when they say they want to help.
  • Go all bridezilla on people because they didn’t act just like you wanted them to if you never told them what you wanted/needed from them. Let people off the hook every once in a while. That’s not to say if you have someone who is acting like a bad friend that they shouldn’t be called out, but give them the benefit of the doubt and communicate with them. It could make a huge difference.

So, what tips or suggestions do you all have for a newly engaged girl?

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54 Responses to “Newly Engaged Dos and Don’ts”

1 2 3 

1.
Ms. Library
Member
Ms. Library (message)  1,251 posts, Bumble bee

Do: Take some time to soak in the new status of your relationship with your fiance. It’s an awesome time to think about how you are going to kick off your lives together and really enjoy it.

Don’t: Think that everything has to be rainbows and ponies! You will get butterflies and maybe a few little sneaky thoughts, and that’s okay! It’s a big decision, and sometimes scary, so take a deep breath and relax.

 
2.
Member Icon
Member
Miss Hot Sauce (message)  1,026 posts, Bumble bee

Ditto on points 4 & 5. Been there done that, over it now. 9 weeks until the wedding! :)

 
3.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Scissors (message)  7,343 posts, Bee Keeper

Don’t: Make big sweeping statements that are hard to take back later, like, “Sure! Just wear any black dress you have! We aren’t doing bridesmaids dresses.”

Still dealing with that one. :p

 
4.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Scissors (message)  7,343 posts, Bee Keeper

Oh, and…

Do: Realize you will probably look back on yourself (on a monthly basis, at first), shake your head, and giggle at the fact that you were such a wedding noob when you thought you were *such* an expert.

(Again, I still am doing that!)

 
5.
alvina
Member
alvina (message)  807 posts, Busy bee

WORD! Good list. “Sad pandas” hahah :)

 
6.
CorgiTales
Member
CorgiTales (message)  9,901 posts, Bee Keeper

I second Ms. Library re: rainbows and ponies. I thought that being engaged was going to be so! fabulous! all! the! time! It’s not. It can be super stressful, so DO have realistic expectations regarding the fact that there will be some disagreements, some fights, and probably some tears along the way.

 
7.
Mrs. Mouse
Bee
Mrs. Mouse (message)  5,844 posts, Bee Keeper

Great tips!! Totally agree with all of them.

 
8.
Miss Zebra
Bee
Miss Zebra (message)  1,045 posts, Bumble bee

Write down what you envision for your big day, a la Miss Parfait. I wish I had written everything down because so much has changed in the planning. If only the Catholic Church would allow Bella’s lullaby hehe.

 
9.
fancygirl
Member
fancygirl (message)  230 posts, Helper bee

Do - keep in perspective that the wedding is one day - in essence a really fun, amazing party for all of your friends and family to come and celebrate this important milestone with you. The marriage is what’s most important, which unfortunately people sometimes tend to forget. And remember to have fun in planning!! :)

BTW Miss Frozen Yogurt - love that pic! It was the first MSW mag I bought (and I wasn’t yet engaged at the time - the pic was just that good!) ;-)

 
10.
Miss Zebra
Bee
Miss Zebra (message)  1,045 posts, Bumble bee

Oh Oh!!! and don’t get into a car accident because you were admiring your new bling :)

 
11.
pvaulter718
Member
pvaulter718 (message)  2,116 posts, Buzzing bee

I’m all about: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. No one can do this alone (remember that guy you’re marrying??)!!! I wish I had learned this a little earlier, or a lot earlier…

 
12.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Frozen Yogurt (message)  2,685 posts, Sugar bee

@fancygirl: Me too! I’ve loved it every since! I would just look at all those gorgeous rings in those gorgeous boxes and dream. :)
@Ms. Library: Definitely agree with those! Great tips!
@Miss Scissors: Yes! It’s hard to try not to please everyone so you just say something and then think, um…no, that’s not what I meant, wait!!
@Miss Kitty Cat: Ha! Yes!

 
13.
Meowkers
Member
Meowkers (message)  3,466 posts, Sugar bee

Um can we just take a second and talk about that gorgeous picture! That’s going to be my new background on my computer. My favorite is the one in the darker yellow box on the left. droool

 
14.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Snow (message)  916 posts, Busy bee

FroYo, I wish I had this in August! GREAT ADVICE, every last bullet-point!

My Do: Significantly underestimate your budget (I’d say by about 20%). Little stuff adds up, you buy 4 dresses (ok, maybe that’s just me…), etc. Bottom line: Even if you’re armed with the Martha Stewart budget calculator, some things are going to cost more than you thought, and I found it much harder to be a steely negotiator than to say “Ok, we can spend a little more here”.

 
15.
lkbphmd
Member
lkbphmd (message)  662 posts, Busy bee

Do figure out if your family has any expectations regarding your wedding and then figure out how you are going to deal with them.
Do make a decision and stick with it. You can waste a lot of time second guessing yourself. (must listen to own advice!)

 
16.
Goldilocks1107
Member
Goldilocks1107 (message)  2,602 posts, Sugar bee

DON’T forget to include your fiance in the planning - you may not be the only one with ideas on how the perfect wedding should look.

DO find out what interests him and delegate responsibilities. That way you can relax and enjoy the engagement and not resent his evenings out while you’re tackling another DIY project.

 
17.
fancygirl
Member
fancygirl (message)  230 posts, Helper bee

@Meowkers - me too! After liking that pic for so long - I’m making it my desktop pic now! :)

 
18.
Jess Lynne
Member
Jess Lynne (message)  56 posts, Worker bee

DON’T second guess your decisions that you’ve already made! So what if you see another inspiration board that now makes you want to change the entire theme of your wedding - if you’ve made a firm decision stick with it! Stop looking at wedding magazines if they’re just going to make you second guess yourself constantly.

Be proud of what you’ve made your wedding into!

 
19.
Guest Icon
Guest
10.10.10

Amen to NOT buying things because it’s a good deal. I’m stuck with a dress I don’t **love** because it was on serious sale and I freaked.

 
20.
Stesse
Member
Stesse (message)  136 posts, Blushing bee

Hear hear on not sharing plans too early, like Ms. Scissors said. I too, made the black bridesmaid dress statement to my maids…. and now we’re doing blue (still pick your own dress, but way different color). I can feel that I’ll be dealing with this one for a looooonnnnggggg time.

 
1 2 3 

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Mrs. Frozen Yogurt
Mrs. Frozen Yogurt

Mrs. Frozen Yogurt, Dallas Age and Occupation: 28, Special Projects Coordinator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Equity Trader Engagement Date: March 19, 2009 Wedding Date: April 2010 Venue: Marie Gabrielle, Dallas About Me: I was born and raised in Texas, and have lived in several of the cities across the state, but I currently reside in Austin. I went to college in Boston and have a special place in my heart for the Northeast. I love reading, shopping, wine, reuniting with college friends that are scattered across the country, reality TV, trying out new recipes, and attempting all the DIY projects that come along with wedding planning. I'm a "bleeding heart, save the world type" and thankfully my job allows me to work on legislation and policy to help out those in need. I met Mr. Frozen Yogurt in a bar, though he doesn't even drink! And now we are planning a modern yet vintage wedding in Dallas while dealing with the trials and tribulations of first time homeownership.

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