Weddingbee Blog

I am not a princess.

Sometimes I have a rough time coming to terms with this.

My parents set a rather bad example for me, relationship wise. Their dynamic is simple: my mom is the princess, and my dad, a mere serf. If my mom makes a mere shiver, my dad runs upstairs to get her a blanket. If it’s too windy out, my dad will go get the car, even if it’s only 2 blocks away, and pick my mom up from the restaurant. She says, “Jump,” and he says, “How high?” You get it. This dynamic seems to please both parties, and is definitely the relationship I’ve considered my model. It’s all I’ve known, really. It’s adorable and totally screwed up at the same time.

As the years pass by in my own relationship with my husband I realize that we are not my parents, and we’ll never be. HUGE bummer… for me, at least.

In our relationship, we are equals. Many attempts to be spoiled in my relationship have failed.

If I say, “Ack! Baby I left my soda in the car!!!” Then he says, “Well, you’d better go downstairs to get it before the ice melts!”

You’d be sure my dad would be running out to the car if my mom had said the same thing.

When it comes to our relationship, my nature is to be whiny (it sometimes works if it’s nasal-y enough) and I like to come up with something to complain about, asking him why he doesn’t do more of this or that for me, like my dad does for my mom. He’s quick to point out that my parents are both bordering on clinically insane, and it’s not totally fair that my dad is sort of a slave… which is probably true, but I can’t deny that sometimes, it would be nice to feel like an utter and total spoiled princess. After all, it’s the example I grew up with.

A frequent answer to the question, “Why do you love your husband/FI?” is “Because he treats me like a princess.”

Am I missing out? Or do you think this is kind of just a cliche, stock answer?

Don’t get me wrong… Mr. Peng commits random acts of chivalry here and there. They’re definitely savored and appreciated. But our day to day interaction is pretty level… I do a little for him here, and he does a little for me there. Give and take. Both parties are pleased, but neither is particularly put on a pedestal for any period of time, save for birthdays or when one of us is sick.

I guess being equals isn’t so bad, after all. If anything, it will set a better example for our kids. Maybe.

I mean, if you asked me why I love my husband, I’d say the biggest reason is because he is rarely annoying (which I can hardly say for myself!). If I can speak for all the other only children out there, I think we can all agree… being annoyed by another person is very high on the only child’s list of dislikes… so Mr. Pengy is a HUGE win on that front! While this answer is totally unromantic, it still might be the single reason why we’ll most likely be married FER-EV-ER.

Who is the royalty in your relationship? Or, would you consider yourselves equals? Would you prefer to be more of a princess (or, for that matter, more of an equal)?