Weddingbee Blog

Initially, a tough choice Mr. Pencils and I had to make was where to have our wedding. I never imagined choosing the actual location could prove so difficult, emotional, overwrought and frustrating. At the time, I found myself wishing that we were from the same hometown or had the foresight to plan a destination wedding. See, we had to decide between three different places: Idaho, North Carolina or Maryland.

The dilemma is somewhat complicated. I was born and raised in Southeastern Idaho. Idaho is that state that is above Utah and in between Montana and Oregon/Washington. We border Canada… ringing a bell yet? I love my home state, mostly for its natural beauty, the simplicity of life there, and I was drawn to the idea of a lower cost, outdoor, gorgeous, natural wedding. I mean, look at how beautiful my home state is:

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The second photo is actually of my hometown, Pocatello. There are a lot of new and recent venues opening up around where I grew up that offered the opportunity for that natural, outdoor wedding we were hoping for. However, I live outside Washington, DC, 3000 miles away from my hometown, which put a damper on things. The thought of having to plan a long distance wedding in a place that I had not lived in for many years just didn’t seem feasible, especially when you consider the second part of this complicated dilemma:

My parents moved to North Carolina three years ago. The option of having my wonderful mother and father doing a lot of the legwork of planning a long distance wedding was out of the picture. I could have asked dear Brother Pencils to step up, but what 28-year-old male do you know that wants to plan his sister’s wedding? Exactly, very few. I love my bro, but I wouldn’t even consider asking him to do the major legwork for our wedding when he had his own life, girlfriend, and school.

When I told Mama Pencils that Idaho was out, she quickly moved to her option #2: get married on the beach in North Carolina! She thought it was the perfect solution: she was there and could do a lot of the planning, we were considering a beach wedding, and it would be inexpensive for many of my relatives as they could stay at our house! I didn’t want to dash Mama P’s hopes (she and Papa Pencils are paying for nearly the entire thing as it is) but the image of getting married in a place that I had next to zero attachment to did not get me excited. (As I look at these photos now, I wonder if I was crazy to not go for a beach wedding!)

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Despite the possibility of a beautiful beach wedding, I couldn’t agree. Mr. Pencils and I wanted to get married in a place that meant something to us. It was a hard thing telling Mama Pencils we had decided to get married in “our” home state of Maryland. There were some tears of frustration, a few minor battles, and a bit of hugging involved before everyone was at peace with the decision.

I think the hardest part for Mama P to swallow this decision was the fact that although Mr. Pencils and I do live in Maryland now, so does Mr. Pencils’ family, and they have his whole life. We have spent nearly three times as much time with the P-meister’s parents, brother, grandparents and uncles than we have with my family. This was purely out of circumstance, as we met at our college in DC and were able to go to his family’s house on the weekends (free meals, y’all!).

I completely understand how Mama Pencils was a little hurt by the decision—as she said it, in her day, people got married in the bride’s hometown, in the bride’s childhood church. She seemed fine with the “not in the church” decision we had made, but was saddened that I would planning it at a distance from her. She didn’t get to have much of a wedding, and I think she was really counting on being a huge part of her daughter’s wedding planning.

After narrowing down this tough choice, the next logical question was, of course, where in Maryland? We had more than a year and a half until our decided month of “May” but no real idea of which weekend and if our budget would be enough to sustain the wedding we dreamed of.

When we first imagined our wedding, Mr. Pencils and I saw a few options:

A beautiful beach wedding, as I mentioned before… only imagine the brackish Chesapeake Bay. Source

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Or at a beautiful vineyard so we could take photos like this:

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So first we tried the beach idea, but twisted it into a wedding overlooking the Chesapeake Bay. I found Celebrations at the Bay in Pasadena, Maryland. It was gorgeous, and according to a magazine I had found, it was in the $30-75 a head region. So, we Pencils set up an appointment and visited the venue. It was beautiful, as we knew it would be.

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The food was fantastic. The people were nice. But it was way out of price range—it would eat up the entire budget for the ceremony/reception locale and catering alone. I bid my coastal wedding dreams adieu and moved on.

We tried a local winery next. We scouted Linganore Vineyard in Mt. Airy, Maryland. The vineyard was beautiful, the wine was amazing… but the price tag for site rental was not (for us). I was beginning to think that our original ideas needed some adjusting…

Next stop, at Ma Pencils’ suggestion, a renovated mansion. My family and I visited Historic Oakland in Columbia, Maryland (where Mrs. D’orsay was recently married!). It was incredibly unique, and offered a lot of charm for a good price tag. It seemed a bit small for our wedding, however, and we would have had to contract all of our vendors. For some reason, at this point, Mama Pencils and I had gotten it into our heads that we wanted a venue that had on-site catering, linens, and a wedding coordinator. We knew it was possible, and this beautiful old mansion didn’t quite hit the mark, despite its individuality.

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Our last stops were two very different outdoor locations. The first, Circle D Farms, offered us the lowest price for the low-key, chillax wedding we initially considered. The outdoor ceremony location was simple and pretty. I couldn’t really visualize myself in the reception area though; it seemed like a large church parish hall. It had spectacular ceiling to floor windows, though, which would have made viewing the sunset breathtaking. We considered their outdoor, picnic style space but it ultimately seemed too small, as well.

I was beginning to lose hope, and Mr. Pencils could tell. Why was this seeming either too expensive or not appropriate for what we envisioned? Then, we drove the winding rode to Morningside Inn and we all loved it. Papa Pencils liked the river rock walls in the dancing area downstairs, I love the sweeping views of the forest, Mr. Pencils loved the rustic look of the entire place and Mama Pencils loved the on-site coordinator and the price tag!

All photos found at Morningside’s Website

The venue offered a space for the ceremony outside and reception inside. There happened to be an open house the same day we visited, so we got to sample the baker that works with our venue, hear from the DJ we ended up selecting, and speak with a florist who works on-site often. The coordinators were pros at organizing and executing beautiful weddings and offered everything we were looking for—ease and beauty. We were sold! After a week of thinking it through, we sent in the deposit to hold the location and the date (and even got our ceremony hour free because we were the first to book in 2010—as Mr. Pencils said, my anal retentiveness paid off!) and haven’t looked back since.

As the initial shock has worn off, Mama Pencils is really on board with our Maryland wedding. She and Papa Pencils have taken many trips up to see us, and we were able to scout and choose this venue together, she attended 3 out of 4 bridal dress shopping excursions and was even there when I chose one, and our (very few) DIY projects intimately involve her! We have found the balance of involvement, enjoyment and pure fun with this whole planning thing, and she truly does understand that I want and need her help, but I also love making the fun, quick decisions that can come at the spur of the moment.

Did you have a tough choice to make when it came to where you would get married? What factors were you considering when you decided?