Weddingbee Blog

Way back when, I told you all about how I was writing the entire ceremony from scratch. I promised to share the end result with you, in the hopes that it might help some of you who are as overwhelmed as I was by the whole process, and also as a way of thanking you for your input and influence on our wedding ceremony.

I’ve decided that the best way to do this is by working the text of our ceremony into my recaps, interspersed with pictures and commentary from the major moments — and I will do my best not to bore you!

For anyone who is currently undertaking their own similar adventure in ceremony writing, I highly recommend The Wedding Ceremony Planner by Judith Johnson as a good place to start. I mostly just used it to outline the basic structure of our ceremony, and then chose meaningful readings and wrote my own words on what each section of the ceremony meant to us.

If you do get the chance to write your own ceremony, I can’t stress enough what an incredible experience it is.

Yes, it is terribly difficult and overwhelming, but the end result was worth every second. Out of everything we painstakingly planned about our whole big day, the meaningfulness of our ceremony (and my dress!) was what most guests told me they loved about our wedding. I’m very proud of that, because it’s quite difficult to make the ceremony so memorable and touching for guests, and since the ceremony is what the wedding is technically all about… well, you get what I’m saying here. Oh, and don’t mind that “Kate and Dan” references scattered throughout — our secret identities are now blown (umm, I think I blew them way back on our invitation post, so whatevs), but I know you’ll remember us better as the Stars.

We were all gathered together for this pivotal moment in the Stars’ lives:

And I wanted what my Stepfather said to reflect the gravity of the moment and to explain the nontraditional ceremony setting:

Gathering Words

We are gathered here today in this rather unconventional spot to show our love and support for Kate and Dan as they embark upon this next great adventure in their lives.

For the ancient Greeks and for all those who love the art, a theater has always been a place of spirituality and magic, a place where the collective experience transforms both the witnesses and the participants in fundamental and profound ways.

Theatre has had a defining influence on both Kate and Dan and is also what initially brought them together.

Where better a place, then, for Kate and Dan to make one of the deepest and most spiritual commitments of their lives, than a theater?

We also wanted to take a minute to acknowledge my great-grandmother and Mr. Star’s grandmother, who both recently passed, and who were so pivotal in their families’ lives:

Remembrances

Kate and Dan would like us all to remember with them two very special ladies, Sally and Lorraine, who were each the loving and beloved matriarchs of their respective families. We know that they would smile on this couple and we hold them in our hearts on this day and always.

And as I blogged about, we made the decision to honor our gay friends who were and were not among us that day, by acknowledging what we feel is an injustice. Thank you so much for helping me to make the right decision for us by incorporating this sentiment, as it was obviously no joking matter to me:

And as we remember those who are not with us today, we also extend a loving welcome to those of us here today who cannot, by law, take the step Kate and Dan are taking today. Kate and Dan have taken to the streets more than once raising their voices for your cause, and they know an occasion such as this one may be bittersweet. We thank you for sharing in this ceremony anyway. In a just world, we will all be free to make a lawful, lifetime commitment to our soul mates, no matter who they are. Kate and Dan commit to continuing in their efforts to see that just world arrive soon. Kate promises she will sing at your own weddings. And Dan promises not to.

Although I couldn’t resist that mood-lightening last line:

Then it was time for our first reading. We asked Mr. Star’s mom to do the honors, and boy, was she looking mighty proud of him:

Kate and Dan would like to invite a very special lady to come up and speak. Michelle, please make your way up to the stage. This sonnet contains some of Kate and Dan’s favorite verses from Shakespeare and they feel it is entirely fitting that these lines be read by the first woman Dan ever loved.

Reading #1 - Sonnet 116 - Michelle

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle’s compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

We knew how nervous Mr. Star’s Mom was to get up and read in front of everyone, much less read Shakespeare, so it was extra special to us that she agreed to do it.

Up next, ever heard of a Circle of Love? Well, most of our guests hadn’t either, but it was totally cheesy and magical.

Would you ever consider writing your ceremony totally from scratch?

*All photos by John Martin Photography*

The Star Wedding Recaps:

One Last Not-So Debaucherous Night
We’re Pros at Rehearsing, But I’m No Director
Dinner in Havana
The Girls Get Their Hair Done and The Boys Wash The Dog
Getting Accessorized
We Tackle the Beast
I May Be Biased, But… I Have the Prettiest Ladies Ever
Takin’ It to the Streets!
The Boys Goof Off (and Set Up, Too!)
Taxi Time
It’s Almost Time For Our Lives To Change Forever
My Big Break